So it's come to this........part three?
When I heard about the Henry Danger/Game Shakers crossover in September, I didn't know what to expect. You know, besides it being awful. What could you really do with these two shows that go beyond them being created by the same person? And after the last crossover Henry Danger was involved in, I wasn't really looking forward to it collaborating with another piece of crap show. I understand now why people were dreading "The Simpsons Guy" when it was announced. But at least with that one, it involved two shows that were past their prime and had become unwatchable years ago. If you used to be a fan of either The Simpsons or Family Guy, maybe it was something you were interested in. But who was this going to appeal to? Between both shows, the only good season was the first season of Henry Danger in 2014-2015. And that was the first show to exist.
It's especially unfortunate that I have to write this review right after I was entertained by The Jungle Movie, which was a sign that maybe Nickelodeon was trying to make a comeback. But then I watch this and think......the live-action side of the network still has a lot of work to do. Whatever the case, I told myself I was coming back on Thanksgiving weekend to cover Hey Arnold's return and this crossover. So without any further ado, let's get to it.
Now, the first thing I'll say is that this crossover, as expected, had many problems. But it wasn't a complete, unbelievably disgusting train wreck. In fact, if I'm being honest, this was a way better crossover than "Danger & Thunder" was. "Danger & Thunder" was a marketing strategy that Nickelodeon used to say, "Look! Two superhero shows are meeting up! What will happen?" It was a regular Henry Danger episode that not only had no business being extended, but featured Thundermans characters in a way that made me think they weren't needed at all. Here, both shows were incorporated equally. It was a Henry Danger episode, but you wouldn't even know that with how both that show and Game Shakers moved the plot along. The kids want to go to Swellview to avoid distractions and work on their games, and Dr. Minyak is going to New York City to sabotage Double G's charity concert. Everybody watches Double G's concert in Swellview. The Game Shakers know who Captain Man and Kid Danger are (for some reason), and Captain Man and Kid Danger are fans of Sky Whale. Everything at least builds on each other so it feels like the story has a reason to exist. The shows feel so intertwined with each other, the episode literally won't be the same without one of them. And this is also where the jokes shine through. I don't know if I've said this before, but Jace Norman is a really funny actor. I think if there's any reason why Henry Danger could actually be watchable, it's him and the chemistry that Henry has with Ray. It almost makes me feel bad for Jace and Cooper Barnes, because they have to work overtime and make the bad writing on their show mean something. You know, just like on Game Shakers, Kel Mitchell has to work overtime because he's just that funny but there's only so much he can do.
Anyway, there were a lot of good jokes in here. You know, once the crossover found its sweet spot and started taking advantage of the two shows interacting. The scene where the Game Shakers find out that Henry is Kid Danger was hilarious in a way that I didn't think either show could be. Jace Norman sells everything. His facial expressions, the way he delivers his lines with the constant stammering and pauses, how he treats zapping the Game Shakers and Piper like he killed them. It was almost unbelievable how these two shows, the two worst shows that Dan Schneider has ever created (had Sam & Cat not been based off characters from shows that were actually good, it would have been no different from these two), were able to put together a funny scene like this. They were even able to get a good line out of Hudson ("I'm Kid Danger?!") in a way that gave a legitimate reason for his stupidity. It was an absolute miracle. So to tell you the truth, this crossover felt way more like a crossover than "Danger & Thunder" ever did. I'm guessing the reason there was more effort put in here was because these were both Schneider's Bakery shows. That A.V. Club interview really never stopped being relevant, did it?
Now, with that in mind, this crossover was also a crossover between Henry Danger and Game Shakers. So you would expect it to piss you off in some way. And trust me, it did. It even gave me a headache. I'm not kidding. When I was watching this on Saturday, I got a legitimate headache, went to YouTube to watch something else, and then resumed watching this. And then the headache went away like magic. It was really weird, but I think this headache had something to do with the crossover. Anyway, one problem with this episode is that it is 90 minutes. Without commercials, that's 66 minutes of this crap. Why was it 90 minutes? Because the iCarly/Victorious crossover was 90 minutes too, so this one had to be. You could argue that they had to make it 90 minutes because of the story, but when the opening scene is about seven minutes, that lets you know that this is more of a case of bad pacing.
Henry Danger is notorious for moving as slow as a snail stuck in quicksand, so there are times in "Danger Games" where things stall and drag on for as long as possible. The subplot with Jasper "adopting" some kid he found in a bush was unfunny, nonsensical, and could have been removed from the episode entirely. The final scene at the concert was unholy in how much time it wasted. Any other show would have wrapped it up much sooner, but in order to justify the length, we need it to be as long as we possibly can. I didn't even know this episode was 90 minutes until Saturday. And even now, I still don't understand why. The episode doesn't really pick up until the Game Shakers come to Swellview. The one advantage here is since there are two shows, the episode has no choice but to move faster than it normally would. But that doesn't say much.
The one thing that annoyed me more than anything else is the fact that things were inconsistent. When Kenzie tells the rest of the Game Shakers about Swellview, they have no idea what it is. But they know who Captain Man and Kid Danger are. How does that even make sense? They've never heard of this small town before, but they know about the local superheroes of said town? And we see that Henry and Ray are big fans of Sky Whale, but they don't know anything about the company that made it or who the Game Shakers are until they're told. Henry literally does not recognize them until they tell him who they are. And everyone recognizes Double G, but they have no idea about his partnership with these kids he and his entourage constantly hang around with.
This might be a small thing, but the episode ends up drowning itself in its own inconsistent logic. With crossovers like these, it would make sense if the characters don't recognize each other when they meet. If they do, then it just implies this and that and the episode didn't really need that confusion. Imagine in "iParty with Victorious" if Tori didn't know about the iCarly web show at all, but recognized Carly, Sam, and Freddie. It wouldn't make any damn sense, but this is the same logic "Danger Games" uses. It would make sense if the Game Shakers had no idea who Captain Man and Kid Danger were, but Captain Man and Kid Danger knew who the Game Shakers were. It wouldn't hurt the story any.
At the end of the day, "Danger Games" could have been a lot worse. While we don't find out anything new about either show, Henry being revealed to be Kid Danger ends up not mattering at all, and this doesn't magically make me want to watch either show, this really felt like a crossover event. Both shows contribute to the story and have a reason to interact with each other (seriously, more effort is put into this one than the one involving two superhero shows). When it's funny, it's actually funnier than it has any right to be. And it even pulled off the impossible by making Hudson's stupidity funny. They treated the conflict seriously, like it was a true all or nothing situation. I can't believe all it took for both shows to come close to being entertaining was to come together. You know, it's simple mathematics: Multiplying two negatives make a positive.
I also wanted to find out from this crossover which show was worse. You know, because with "Haunted Thundermans," I ended up finding out that The Thundermans was the better show. So the question you probably want answered right now is....which show is a bigger disgrace to humanity?
I don't know if I found the answer last weekend. Or even during the review. Both shows are garbage, but for different reasons. Henry Danger went from tolerable to downright painful in less than two years. Awful pacing, stupid characters, asshole characters, uninteresting stories. Game Shakers was never good in the first place and it never will be. Kel and his entourage are the only real source of entertainment. It's actually sad how the main characters are constantly outshined on their own show, but they are pretty bland and unappealing besides the fact that they work on wildly successful video games. Plus, it also has the stupidest, most useless character I have ever seen on any television series. You might think that would make me say Game Shakers, but last night was the first time Henry Danger made me laugh that much. The first time Game Shakers did that to me was when Double G's hair caught on fire. So, yeah, I don't think either show is better or worse than the other. They're both bottom of the barrel trash, but at least, they were able to pull it together by joining forces.
On a serious note, how depressing is it that there is a show about a kid that has to hide his superhero identity, and a show about a bunch of kids that have the talent to make video games, and neither of them are that interesting?
Episode Grade: C
Episode MVP: Jace Norman. This guy is seriously underrated as a comedic actor, and I think he's only gotten better since Henry Danger started.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
-I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but if I have, it bears repeating: Captain Man is the worst name that I have ever heard for a superhero. It says absolutely nothing about the man's powers or his capabilities. It's just......what? Captain Man? What does that even mean? I'm not even a fan of comic books or superhero movies, but I could come up with a way better name than that. You would think Captain Man's indestructible nature would come up in the name, but it doesn't. It reminds me of the A.N.T. Farm episode where Cameron and Fletcher were trying to come up with a superhero, and one of Cameron's suggestions was "Man Man," a regular guy with no powers that pulled off his everyday clothes to reveal the same outfit underneath. A.N.T. Farm was a hilarious show in its first two seasons, guys.
-Snoop Dogg made a guest appearance in this episode, being the catalyst for Double G's charity concert. He doesn't do much besides that, but he did record a parody of "Gin and Juice" for the "Danger Games" commercials, which I thought was funny and unexpected. It makes me wonder why Game Shakers hasn't had more rappers as guest stars, just as a way to shine a light on the industry and show how Double G looks at his competition. But asking for hip hop to be represented in a tasteful, interesting way on a show like this is like asking to get pushed into traffic.
-Dr. Minyak is such a pathetic villain. Unbelievably pathetic. Captain Man and Kid Danger make short work of him in the beginning of the episode, he comes up with this diabolical plan to ruin Double G's charity concert, and he can't even follow through on his plan because he spends his time stalling and running around like an idiot. Has there ever been a villain on Henry Danger that we were supposed to be afraid of and take seriously?
-Babe and Kenzie's constant flirting with Henry was hilarious. What I like the most about it is that Henry doesn't even seem to acknowledge it. He just stammers a lot and has these creeped out looks on his face whenever they talk to him. Remember in "Danger & Thunder" how Henry was attracted to Phoebe, and it didn't seem like she even cared if he lived or died? This is the version that's actually funny.
-Since this is a Henry Danger episode, we have to have Henry's family join in on the crossover fun. The only problem is, this episode and the show would be a lot better if Henry's family wasn't around. Like, maybe there was a nuclear explosion in Swellview and they couldn't find his family anywhere. They're all awful characters for the same reason: They are both stupid and assholes. The lethal combination. There was this small plot where Piper wanted to send money to the Prince of Yerba (that war-torn country has a prince with millions of dollars?) because he'll send her back some of his fortune. Usually, this thing is a scam, but it ended up being true. I couldn't even laugh at it because of how little I cared.
-Oh yeah, I was supposed to talk about Henry's family. So in order to get money for the prince, Piper turns the house into an Airbnb (they had a different name for it but I don't care enough to remember it) and of course, her parents end up submitting to her wishes to leave the house and get a hotel. Can't there be an episode where Piper dies? That would be the best episode of the series, no question. Anyway, there's this scene where Piper drops an entire suitcase on Henry's head and he ends up pretty hurt, to the point where his head is bleeding. You know what his parents' response is to them finding out that Piper made Henry's head bleed and he has to clean it? His dad saying it's gross and his mom telling him not to use their good towels. These are his parents, by the way. There's also a scene where Jasper removes the Hart family's address numbers (pretty sure that's vandalism) so the police can't find the kid he stole. And then Henry's dad wonders how he's supposed to know if there is a 6 or a 9 in his address. Yes, Henry's dad is so stupid, he doesn't know where he lives. Honestly, if this show was just about Henry, Ray, Charlotte, and Schwoz, it would be a lot better.
-If you're wondering, the Game Shakers find out Henry's house is an Airbnb and that's how they get there.
-I love how worried Triple G is that Dr. Minyak is going to hurt his father. I mean, we know Dr. Minyak couldn't even hurt a piece of paper, and we know that 98% of the stuff that happens on both of these shows doesn't matter, but for one shining moment, it really feels like they're taking something seriously. Triple G doesn't know anything about this guy, and he knows that Captain Man and Kid Danger are the only ones that can help protect Double G. So kudos to them for actually having some genuine drama for once.
-To explain zapping Piper, Henry left a note stating that the Game Shakers went on a "pajama hike" and they're not coming back. He also says he hopes they paid her and to follow her dreams. Not even going to lie, I was on the floor when I read the note, because it had the pauses and stammering inside it. That, combined with the bizarre content and Jace's delivery, was enough to kill me. I'm still in shock.
-The one thing I don't get is that they treat Henry's identity being exposed as this really big thing. Like, World War III combined with New York City going up in flames and then they just drop it. Henry tells Ray not to erase the Game Shakers' memories and it's just never brought up again. You would think that this would affect the plot in some way because of how seriously they handled it and then it just turns into, "Well, they know. Let's move on." Whatever, at least the scene was funny.
-Okay, the final scene was just awful. Straight up terrible because of how much time they wasted. I know it's a Henry Danger episode, but come on, you have a 90-minute crossover with a story that's actually interesting and you still choose to slow down the pace? The worst part is that this is the last scene you should be wasting time in because it's the big climax and everything has to keep moving. It seriously felt like a 15-minute scene because of how much they dragged it on.
-So here we go. Before the final scene, Dr. Minyak is up in the rafters with his assistant while Double G is rehearsing and Henry and Ray are supposed to be keeping an eye on him. Dr. Minyak is right above everyone else and you're telling me that no one sees him? He even goes as far as to blast Hudson with his weapon in plain sight, and still, no one notices him. Henry and Ray suddenly become useless as hell between this scene and the next one. From them not noticing Dr. Minyak until they're told, to not getting the weapon that he drops for some reason, to getting involved with his henchmen, to not even blasting Minyak and foiling his plan, they are complete liabilities to the Game Shakers. They don't even try stopping Minyak from attacking Double G on stage. What the hell is going on here?!
-So Dr. Minyak has the weapon in his hands. All he has to do is get a clean shot of Double G, blast him, and the concert is ruined. And since he was bold enough to use the weapon against an innocent person in plain sight, this should be a snap. Unless he ends up becoming a complete idiot and screws himself over for no reason. There is an eternity that passes while he's trying to blast Double G. He has multiple opportunities, even going as far as to run on stage during the concert and try blasting him, but he never does. Did he get stage fright or something? Then he approaches Double G and starts.....wrestling him? While the weapon is on the floor, which he just abandons because.....because I don't know. Then Babe gets a hold of the weapon, and Henry tells her twice to blast Minyak but she doesn't do it. She waits about five minutes and then blasts him. This whole scene could have been done in half the time. Minyak is about to blast Double G, Henry and Ray stop him and try to get the weapon, the henchmen come after them, Minyak gets desperate and attacks Double G, Babe gets the weapon, Henry gives her the green light, she waits momentarily for her shot, and it's over. There was no point in extending this. I'm not sure which climax scene is worse, this one or the "Danger & Thunder" one. Maybe the "Danger & Thunder" one because this one at least gave me a stronger reaction.
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Saturday, November 25, 2017
Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie Review
The return of our favorite football head, Arnoldo.
What is it? A two-hour made-for-television movie based on the legendary Nickelodeon animated series, Hey Arnold.
Who stars in it? Mason Vale Cotton (Arnold), Benjamin Flores, Jr. (Gerald), Francesca Marie Smith (Helga), Anndi McAfee (Phoebe), Dan Castellaneta (Grandpa Phil)......they got a lot of the original voice cast back, that's all you really need to know.
Where did it air? Nickelodeon.
Why are we reviewing this? WHY?!
Here we are. After fifteen years, fans of Hey Arnold everywhere get the closure they've been dreaming about. It wouldn't be right to do this review without putting it in the proper context. When Hey Arnold was on during its original run, there was an episode called "Parents Day" where Grandpa Phil finally tells Arnold what happened to his parents. There were also plans to do two movies based on the series: A made-for-television movie called "Arnold Saves the Neighborhood," and a theatrical release known as The Jungle Movie where Arnold goes on a hero's journey to find his missing parents in the Central American republic known as San Lorenzo. However, Nickelodeon got greedy and decided to capitalize on the show's popularity as soon as they could by making "Arnold Saves the Neighborhood" into the feature film. Hey Arnold!: The Movie came out in 2002, didn't make a big splash at the box office, didn't impress the critics, and it ended up souring Nickelodeon on releasing The Jungle Movie. That same year, the last two episodes made after the movie were aired, "April Fools Day" and "The Journal." "The Journal" was where Arnold found a journal that belonged to his parents, and gave him clues to their whereabouts after it was implied in "Parents Day" that they were probably dead. This episode was supposed to lead to The Jungle Movie, which would serve as the series finale.
However, Nickelodeon didn't want to take a chance on another Hey Arnold movie and Craig Bartlett (the creator of the show) left the network. By the time Nickelodeon wanted to give The Jungle Movie a second chance, Bartlett was already working on a project for Cartoon Network and the series ended unceremoniously in 2004 (several episodes made before the movie were spread out for a few years). Now, in 2017, Nickelodeon decided to right their wrongs and not make the same mistake they made in the 2000s. The Jungle Movie was back in business, and the show was finally getting the closure it deserved.
I started watching Hey Arnold in 2011 when it aired on The 90s Are All That. I became a fan instantly, and when I found out about the show's history, all I could think about was what would happen if The Jungle Movie became a reality. I even called Nickelodeon about it once and left a message on their answering machine. They never answered back, but the fact is, I had that hope that one day, the movie would get made. And here it is.
Let's end the speculation now: This was a good movie. And I think the more times I watch it, the more it will turn into a great movie. I was surprised by how much of the movie ended up being tied to Bartlett's original vision. Or maybe I shouldn't since he was the creator of the show and he wrote the story years ago. I read about the details of the movie when I was younger, and a lot of it was very similar to what happened in the finished product, with some changes. For one, Brainy was supposed to give Helga this speech about Arnold, but he did end up finding and repairing her locket after she threw it into the sea. So some of it was probably just edited for time or whatever.
The one thing I noticed more than anything else was how amazing the film looked. The show's animation improved pretty much every season, and since there hasn't been a new episode in more than ten years, you would expect it to get even better. I'm just happy there was no corny flash animation or anything like that. It's not like the upcoming Rocko's Modern Life movie where it literally looks like the original show in HD, but the animation is beautiful, especially in the scenes taking place at night. I usually focus more on the story and the jokes, but the animation stood out to me as the real winner. This could have easily been in theaters if they wanted it to be, that's how fantastic it looked.
Now as for the actual story, it was pretty much everything we knew it would be for years now: Arnold's class wins a contest (which was originally an essay contest), they all go to San Lorenzo, Helga reveals her love for Arnold (for the second time), Arnold is found out to be the chosen one of the Green-Eyed People, he reunites with his parents, and he ends up realizing his feelings for Helga. The only way the movie could have bombed is if two things happened: Arnold's parents were dead, or it was all revealed to be a dream. And the movie even teases you at the end where we see Arnold wake up after finding his parents. It even has you about to throw something at the wall by making it seem like the movie is starting over from the opening scene in the kitchen and Arnold is in tears, until his parents reveal themselves and we find out that Arnold has been dreaming about him not finding his parents all summer. It really makes you wonder how emotionally scarred Arnold was before he found that journal. Like, he's as good-natured and helpful as he is because his life has no other meaning. Or maybe I'm just looking into this too much.
One of the most important things to take from this movie is that Arnold himself gets something he has desperately needed for a long time: Character development. In the beginning of the series, Arnold was just a regular guy who helped people out. But he was more like an actual kid at one point. As the years went on, Arnold slowly became a parody of himself. He only existed to be morally righteous and full of pure heart, like the absolute perfect human being. It became less realistic and Arnold wasn't really a character anymore. He was just this mythical, angelic figure who could do no wrong. In this movie, Arnold is given more humanity than he has in a long time. He has doubts, he starts questioning himself, he feels lost and incomplete, and he even cries multiple times. Arnold becomes less of a Mother Teresa-type figure and more of a human being, with flaws and uncertainties. It's his desire to see the best in everyone that ends up getting him and his class in trouble when he gets tricked by La Sombra. And for the first time, you really start wondering if Arnold has what it takes to rise up to the challenge. He prevails, but it is really satisfying that he gets there while having moments of weakness. It reminds us that he is a person like everyone else, and we all have moments where it feels like all hope is lost.
So for a great story that wraps up everything the show left on the table, beautiful animation, character development for Arnold, and some great jokes packed in along the way, this is the best way to end Hey Arnold. It's really something how Nickelodeon finally decided to make things right and give people a conclusion they had anticipated and deserved for years. Rest in peace to one of the greatest kid's shows ever made.
Movie Grade: A+
Movie MVP: Tie between Mason Vale Cotton and Francesca Marie Smith. They both being it in their respective performances as Arnold and Helga. I had more sympathy for Arnold as time went on because of how well Mason sold his emotions. I felt every one of Arnold's fears and vulnerabilities. And Francesca is just that damn good. How do you come back after so many years and slip into your character so easily? Only the best can do it.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
-There was a sneak preview of the "Danger Games" crossover between Henry Danger and Game Shakers that aired right after the movie. All it did was make me pray that I don't get pissed off watching this. I have very low expectations going in, because when you combine the two worst shows Dan Schneider has ever created, what could you really look forward to?
-The movie is based in 2017, so there are aspects of the modern world that are dealt with. Like, Big Bob's beeper empire is falling apart because who needs a beeper in 2017? Of course, Rhonda is obsessed with her phone (she's low-key the funniest character in this movie), and Phoebe is more of a technology whiz than she ever was in the series. It's interesting to see how the movie handles the way society is now while not really calling attention to it. That's going to be more of Rocko's job when "Static Cling" comes out next year.
-The comedy really picks up after we find out that Eduardo is really La Sombra. La Sombra using his fake mustache to look like Abraham Lincoln and Frida Kahlo, Big Bob being surprised that Arnold's grandparents aren't dead, Miriam sleeping on the couch like the depressed alcoholic she is, Curly volunteering to be La Sombra's inside man until La Sombra says that even Curly's too crazy for him. There were a lot more jokes after that, they just don't come to mind right now.
-Is this the first A-plus I've ever given anything? It has to be. Or maybe the second one? I don't know, but this is a very rare occasion that I have nothing bad to say about the material I review.
-When Eduardo and his guys were trying to shoot down La Sombra's boat, did they think about what might have happened if they ended up killing anybody on board, like Arnold? Pretty sloppy if you ask me.
-I find it funny how the green-eyed girl kept speaking to Arnold in her language, even though he was barely responding to anything she said and couldn't understand it at all.
-The movie is about as dark as Hey Arnold could get, and it feels like everyone is more mature and assured now that they're in the fifth grade going on sixth grade.
-Jim Lang came through for us with the score for this movie. That's all I'm going to say.
-Very sweet ending where Arnold treats his parents like his kids, telling them that he'll leave school at three but his parents are already missing him. It's really something how the movie I was hoping would get made one day ended up happening, and it was just as good as I expected it to be.
What is it? A two-hour made-for-television movie based on the legendary Nickelodeon animated series, Hey Arnold.
Who stars in it? Mason Vale Cotton (Arnold), Benjamin Flores, Jr. (Gerald), Francesca Marie Smith (Helga), Anndi McAfee (Phoebe), Dan Castellaneta (Grandpa Phil)......they got a lot of the original voice cast back, that's all you really need to know.
Where did it air? Nickelodeon.
Why are we reviewing this? WHY?!
Here we are. After fifteen years, fans of Hey Arnold everywhere get the closure they've been dreaming about. It wouldn't be right to do this review without putting it in the proper context. When Hey Arnold was on during its original run, there was an episode called "Parents Day" where Grandpa Phil finally tells Arnold what happened to his parents. There were also plans to do two movies based on the series: A made-for-television movie called "Arnold Saves the Neighborhood," and a theatrical release known as The Jungle Movie where Arnold goes on a hero's journey to find his missing parents in the Central American republic known as San Lorenzo. However, Nickelodeon got greedy and decided to capitalize on the show's popularity as soon as they could by making "Arnold Saves the Neighborhood" into the feature film. Hey Arnold!: The Movie came out in 2002, didn't make a big splash at the box office, didn't impress the critics, and it ended up souring Nickelodeon on releasing The Jungle Movie. That same year, the last two episodes made after the movie were aired, "April Fools Day" and "The Journal." "The Journal" was where Arnold found a journal that belonged to his parents, and gave him clues to their whereabouts after it was implied in "Parents Day" that they were probably dead. This episode was supposed to lead to The Jungle Movie, which would serve as the series finale.
However, Nickelodeon didn't want to take a chance on another Hey Arnold movie and Craig Bartlett (the creator of the show) left the network. By the time Nickelodeon wanted to give The Jungle Movie a second chance, Bartlett was already working on a project for Cartoon Network and the series ended unceremoniously in 2004 (several episodes made before the movie were spread out for a few years). Now, in 2017, Nickelodeon decided to right their wrongs and not make the same mistake they made in the 2000s. The Jungle Movie was back in business, and the show was finally getting the closure it deserved.
I started watching Hey Arnold in 2011 when it aired on The 90s Are All That. I became a fan instantly, and when I found out about the show's history, all I could think about was what would happen if The Jungle Movie became a reality. I even called Nickelodeon about it once and left a message on their answering machine. They never answered back, but the fact is, I had that hope that one day, the movie would get made. And here it is.
Let's end the speculation now: This was a good movie. And I think the more times I watch it, the more it will turn into a great movie. I was surprised by how much of the movie ended up being tied to Bartlett's original vision. Or maybe I shouldn't since he was the creator of the show and he wrote the story years ago. I read about the details of the movie when I was younger, and a lot of it was very similar to what happened in the finished product, with some changes. For one, Brainy was supposed to give Helga this speech about Arnold, but he did end up finding and repairing her locket after she threw it into the sea. So some of it was probably just edited for time or whatever.
The one thing I noticed more than anything else was how amazing the film looked. The show's animation improved pretty much every season, and since there hasn't been a new episode in more than ten years, you would expect it to get even better. I'm just happy there was no corny flash animation or anything like that. It's not like the upcoming Rocko's Modern Life movie where it literally looks like the original show in HD, but the animation is beautiful, especially in the scenes taking place at night. I usually focus more on the story and the jokes, but the animation stood out to me as the real winner. This could have easily been in theaters if they wanted it to be, that's how fantastic it looked.
Now as for the actual story, it was pretty much everything we knew it would be for years now: Arnold's class wins a contest (which was originally an essay contest), they all go to San Lorenzo, Helga reveals her love for Arnold (for the second time), Arnold is found out to be the chosen one of the Green-Eyed People, he reunites with his parents, and he ends up realizing his feelings for Helga. The only way the movie could have bombed is if two things happened: Arnold's parents were dead, or it was all revealed to be a dream. And the movie even teases you at the end where we see Arnold wake up after finding his parents. It even has you about to throw something at the wall by making it seem like the movie is starting over from the opening scene in the kitchen and Arnold is in tears, until his parents reveal themselves and we find out that Arnold has been dreaming about him not finding his parents all summer. It really makes you wonder how emotionally scarred Arnold was before he found that journal. Like, he's as good-natured and helpful as he is because his life has no other meaning. Or maybe I'm just looking into this too much.
One of the most important things to take from this movie is that Arnold himself gets something he has desperately needed for a long time: Character development. In the beginning of the series, Arnold was just a regular guy who helped people out. But he was more like an actual kid at one point. As the years went on, Arnold slowly became a parody of himself. He only existed to be morally righteous and full of pure heart, like the absolute perfect human being. It became less realistic and Arnold wasn't really a character anymore. He was just this mythical, angelic figure who could do no wrong. In this movie, Arnold is given more humanity than he has in a long time. He has doubts, he starts questioning himself, he feels lost and incomplete, and he even cries multiple times. Arnold becomes less of a Mother Teresa-type figure and more of a human being, with flaws and uncertainties. It's his desire to see the best in everyone that ends up getting him and his class in trouble when he gets tricked by La Sombra. And for the first time, you really start wondering if Arnold has what it takes to rise up to the challenge. He prevails, but it is really satisfying that he gets there while having moments of weakness. It reminds us that he is a person like everyone else, and we all have moments where it feels like all hope is lost.
So for a great story that wraps up everything the show left on the table, beautiful animation, character development for Arnold, and some great jokes packed in along the way, this is the best way to end Hey Arnold. It's really something how Nickelodeon finally decided to make things right and give people a conclusion they had anticipated and deserved for years. Rest in peace to one of the greatest kid's shows ever made.
Movie Grade: A+
Movie MVP: Tie between Mason Vale Cotton and Francesca Marie Smith. They both being it in their respective performances as Arnold and Helga. I had more sympathy for Arnold as time went on because of how well Mason sold his emotions. I felt every one of Arnold's fears and vulnerabilities. And Francesca is just that damn good. How do you come back after so many years and slip into your character so easily? Only the best can do it.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
-There was a sneak preview of the "Danger Games" crossover between Henry Danger and Game Shakers that aired right after the movie. All it did was make me pray that I don't get pissed off watching this. I have very low expectations going in, because when you combine the two worst shows Dan Schneider has ever created, what could you really look forward to?
-The movie is based in 2017, so there are aspects of the modern world that are dealt with. Like, Big Bob's beeper empire is falling apart because who needs a beeper in 2017? Of course, Rhonda is obsessed with her phone (she's low-key the funniest character in this movie), and Phoebe is more of a technology whiz than she ever was in the series. It's interesting to see how the movie handles the way society is now while not really calling attention to it. That's going to be more of Rocko's job when "Static Cling" comes out next year.
-The comedy really picks up after we find out that Eduardo is really La Sombra. La Sombra using his fake mustache to look like Abraham Lincoln and Frida Kahlo, Big Bob being surprised that Arnold's grandparents aren't dead, Miriam sleeping on the couch like the depressed alcoholic she is, Curly volunteering to be La Sombra's inside man until La Sombra says that even Curly's too crazy for him. There were a lot more jokes after that, they just don't come to mind right now.
-Is this the first A-plus I've ever given anything? It has to be. Or maybe the second one? I don't know, but this is a very rare occasion that I have nothing bad to say about the material I review.
-When Eduardo and his guys were trying to shoot down La Sombra's boat, did they think about what might have happened if they ended up killing anybody on board, like Arnold? Pretty sloppy if you ask me.
-I find it funny how the green-eyed girl kept speaking to Arnold in her language, even though he was barely responding to anything she said and couldn't understand it at all.
-The movie is about as dark as Hey Arnold could get, and it feels like everyone is more mature and assured now that they're in the fifth grade going on sixth grade.
-Jim Lang came through for us with the score for this movie. That's all I'm going to say.
-Very sweet ending where Arnold treats his parents like his kids, telling them that he'll leave school at three but his parents are already missing him. It's really something how the movie I was hoping would get made one day ended up happening, and it was just as good as I expected it to be.
Sydney White Movie Mini-Reviewed
Hi, Ho!
What is it? Theatrical-released movie about a solid decade ago, back when these type of movies tended to be more popular (about the same vintage as Mean Girls, for example)
Where did it air? Well, like I said this was actually originally a theatrical-release movie, but in this case I recorded it off HBO all the way back in April. Yeah, my habitual tardiness should be infamous and well-known by now.
Who stars in it? Amanda Bynes who's best known for...well, being Amanda Bynes at this point, and Sara Paxton who's best known for being the replacement Marnie Cromwell in Return to Halloweentown and being the mermaid in the JoJo Levesque/Emma Roberts vehicle Aquamarine (incidentally, both of those were just the year before this one)
Why are we reviewing this? Eh why not
It was ok I suppose, even if maybe some of the sensibilities are a bit obsolete (but hey, it's still the Bush years amirite?) I don't know if it's better than Eurotrip but it's at least better than the Ashley Tisdale vehicle Picture Perfect (man, I feel sorry for Ashley).
Movie Grade: Eh, a C+?
Movie MVP: Danny Strong who plays Gurkin, the Grumpy analog, because I'm really feeling the grumpiness there.
Extra Thoughts:
- it didn't even occur to me that this was basically Snow White in the Greek/College system until about halfway through the movie. Yeah.
- I'm sorry but...the quoted section at the top of this review just *may* be my most favorite singular part of the movie (well, either that or when Sydney White goes completely Blue Screen of Death'd) and yeah it's even goes a bit far in why and how Danny Strong ended up getting MVP. I don't condone slut-shaming and I'm glad it's quickly becoming what TVTropes calls a Dead Horse Trope but...considering how the main antagonist isn't even singled out for sexual behavior at any point in the movie, really, I think that makes the context acceptable.
Plus, given the Snow White parody well...fuck, it just works for me. Maybe I'm just a stupid juvenile at heart, dammit.
What is it? Theatrical-released movie about a solid decade ago, back when these type of movies tended to be more popular (about the same vintage as Mean Girls, for example)
Where did it air? Well, like I said this was actually originally a theatrical-release movie, but in this case I recorded it off HBO all the way back in April. Yeah, my habitual tardiness should be infamous and well-known by now.
Who stars in it? Amanda Bynes who's best known for...well, being Amanda Bynes at this point, and Sara Paxton who's best known for being the replacement Marnie Cromwell in Return to Halloweentown and being the mermaid in the JoJo Levesque/Emma Roberts vehicle Aquamarine (incidentally, both of those were just the year before this one)
Why are we reviewing this? Eh why not
It was ok I suppose, even if maybe some of the sensibilities are a bit obsolete (but hey, it's still the Bush years amirite?) I don't know if it's better than Eurotrip but it's at least better than the Ashley Tisdale vehicle Picture Perfect (man, I feel sorry for Ashley).
Movie Grade: Eh, a C+?
Movie MVP: Danny Strong who plays Gurkin, the Grumpy analog, because I'm really feeling the grumpiness there.
Extra Thoughts:
- it didn't even occur to me that this was basically Snow White in the Greek/College system until about halfway through the movie. Yeah.
- I'm sorry but...the quoted section at the top of this review just *may* be my most favorite singular part of the movie (well, either that or when Sydney White goes completely Blue Screen of Death'd) and yeah it's even goes a bit far in why and how Danny Strong ended up getting MVP. I don't condone slut-shaming and I'm glad it's quickly becoming what TVTropes calls a Dead Horse Trope but...considering how the main antagonist isn't even singled out for sexual behavior at any point in the movie, really, I think that makes the context acceptable.
Plus, given the Snow White parody well...fuck, it just works for me. Maybe I'm just a stupid juvenile at heart, dammit.
Richie Rich's Christmas Wish TV Movie Mini-Reviewed
What is it? A made for TV movie all the way back from 1998 using the Richie Rich property, allegedly a sequel to the theatrical 1994 movie. Beyond that I have no effin' idea.
Where did it air? Well I recorded it off Freeform like two days ago, as for where it originally aired, see second sentence above.
Who stars in it? Again, see second sentence of the "What is it?" section.
Why are we reviewing this? Again, refer to the most commonly referred to section.
You know, I gave up just four minutes in as soon as I saw the snowmobiles made to look like really old rich people cars. Why is it that people think the height of luxury is a car made to look like it's older than just about anybody still actually left alive? I get that it harkens back to cars that were popular with the ultra-rich during the Swingin' Twenties but still, get with the times man.
No wonder people stopped reading your comics, you stopped catering to people too young to collect on Social Security.
Movie Grade: Pretty much an F by default, if I can't even be friggin' bothered to finish it. Or even get beyond five minutes in.
Movie MVP: The hell if I know? I guess Donald J. Trump for proving that yes you can buy your way out of having to have taste to the point where idiots will still elect you frickin' President.
Extra Thoughts:
- this is gonna be an embarrassing admission, but a double-feature of this movie and "Blank Check" were the very first movies I ever saw in an actual movie theater (I think I briefly mention Blank Check in another review buried...I dunno where the hell now).
Where did it air? Well I recorded it off Freeform like two days ago, as for where it originally aired, see second sentence above.
Who stars in it? Again, see second sentence of the "What is it?" section.
Why are we reviewing this? Again, refer to the most commonly referred to section.
You know, I gave up just four minutes in as soon as I saw the snowmobiles made to look like really old rich people cars. Why is it that people think the height of luxury is a car made to look like it's older than just about anybody still actually left alive? I get that it harkens back to cars that were popular with the ultra-rich during the Swingin' Twenties but still, get with the times man.
No wonder people stopped reading your comics, you stopped catering to people too young to collect on Social Security.
Movie Grade: Pretty much an F by default, if I can't even be friggin' bothered to finish it. Or even get beyond five minutes in.
Movie MVP: The hell if I know? I guess Donald J. Trump for proving that yes you can buy your way out of having to have taste to the point where idiots will still elect you frickin' President.
Extra Thoughts:
- this is gonna be an embarrassing admission, but a double-feature of this movie and "Blank Check" were the very first movies I ever saw in an actual movie theater (I think I briefly mention Blank Check in another review buried...I dunno where the hell now).
Friday, November 24, 2017
Thundermans Reviewed: Thunder in Paradise (S4E15)
"Two words: Dela. Ware."
What is it? Hour-long Thundermans special in...well, we'll talk about the format briefly in the main review.
Who stars in it? Kira Kosarin, Jack Griffo, Diego Velesquez, Addison Reikke, uh, sun adult guys, Dana Snyder is absent for some reason even though he's the most kickass character. I got all that from memory so if I misspelled anybody's name, I'll include my mailing address so you can sue me.
Where did it air? Nickelodeon
Why are we reviewing this? Eh.
So, ummm...to more or less paraphrase Mike, that happened.
First of all, the, ummm...interesting format choice. Lately it's been a bit of a kick for Nickelodeon to squeeze NOMs into an hour-length instead of the more traditional 90 minute length, particularly with Rufus and its sequel. They resisted the temptation for Legends of the Hidden Temple and Escape From Mr. Lemoncello's Library, but probably only because the former is based on one of Nickelodeon's most fondly remembered properties and they were probably banking on a bigger nostalgia contribution in the ratings and the latter is based on a pretty hot middle school book property right now (as it turned out, both ended up being major ratings disappointments, in no small part due to Nickelodeon almost forgetting they even had the Escape From Mr. Lemoncello's Library movie). With the extended hour-length and the single-cam format it's easy to assume this is in effect a Thundermans movie, the first Nick series to get a proper movie in years (especially if you consider the single-cam format to be closer in spirit to a "movie" than the 90-minute run time of the iCarly movies/specials).
...except they decided to overlay a laugh track onto it, for some reason.
Look, Nickelodeon has made many bizarre choices over the course of the now over half-decade I've been watching the network as a grown-ass adult. As with most of them, I can't explain this one other than...some kidcom trope obligation? Not to mention many of the shots, especially the interior shots (it got to the point where I'm convinced it's simply most of them) just simply look identical to the multi-cam shots of all the other episodes anyway.
Beyond that it's...a pretty typical Thundermans episode with some admittedly nifty fight choreography. Was that the whole deciding factor as to adopt the single-cam format? Well that and the location shooting, I imagine. Of course they just as easily could've gone with indoor sets and continue the multi-cam format ala Good Luck Charlie's Sun Show, Jessie's Aloha Holidays with Parker and Joey and the entirety of Bucket and Skinner...all, like 8 episodes or so. But hey, the entire cast was probably already in Hawaii for Paradise Run so why not I guess?
Episode Grade: A flat C. Like I said it's just a regular episode of Thundermans with extra pizzaz where it mattered the least. The action and plot is paint-by-numbers, and there were more jokes that were misses than hits.
Episode MVP:Diego for Dela-Ware Jack for actually expressing some convincing concern for on-screen sis and helping to sell his character's total and permanent conversion to the good side, but I'm still tempted to name Diego for Dela-Ware just as a passive-aggressive means of displaying my contempt.
Extra Thoughts:
- There's still like 10 or 15 extra episodes of Thundermans to go, depending if the extra 5 episode order extended the season to 25 total or 30 total. It's been an enjoyable series and the fourth season is well-deserved...but...I was just expecting more with Thunder in Paradise. I think the average episode of Thundermans, multi-cam format, largely confined to one or two indoor sets and all, has more to offer.
- also, it's getting to that time of year where we reflect on the past 12 months, namely the shows that have left and what's come to fill their place (and given the fickle nature of the kidcom business, which ended up being both) in our Dearly Departed and New Arrivals annual feature and which network came out on top in our Yearly Winners and Losers annual feature so, hope you're as excited for that as I am!
I have a catchphrase now? I know what I have to do......exploit it until everybody who reads this blog gets sick of it and it becomes a parody of itself.
To be honest, I was going to watch this, but I think I quit halfway through. The one thing that I focused on (and this is probably just my personal thing but who knows?) was the fact that Diego Velazquez is older now. His voice is irritating because he still has to play the role of the idiot, so now instead of him maturing, his character now sounds and acts like he can't spell his own name. I hate it when kid actors get older. They're only hired to be the cute kid and get a few witty lines, but then they go through puberty and because the show only wanted them around to be cute, they keep relying on the old shtick or end up giving them more "mature" stories that nobody cares about while the main characters do their thing. I think it's called the Rudy Huxtable disease or something like that. Anyway, I noticed how badly Diego delivers his lines now that he's older and his character hasn't changed. It reminds me that a lot of these kids don't get hired because they can actually act. Wow, Henry Danger legitimately has one over The Thundermans in that case. That's a scary thought.
I find it weird how this episode looks a lot more like a movie but they sometimes treat it like a regular episode.
I'm not really sure how I'm going to feel when this show ends. I was never a huge fan of it, but by default, it became the best live-action show on Nick (mostly because other shows ended or got cancelled, while the network pushed much worse shows harder) and it has never irritated me the same way these other Nick shows currently do. It might be bland and forgettable on its worst day, but I've never had problems watching it. A few years ago, The Thundermans would have been a reliable #2 or #3 show, and it was forced to become the leader because no other show could carry the weight. Actually, why don't I just slow down and save these thoughts for next year when the series finale airs? This is starting to get a little depressing.
What is it? Hour-long Thundermans special in...well, we'll talk about the format briefly in the main review.
Who stars in it? Kira Kosarin, Jack Griffo, Diego Velesquez, Addison Reikke, uh, sun adult guys, Dana Snyder is absent for some reason even though he's the most kickass character. I got all that from memory so if I misspelled anybody's name, I'll include my mailing address so you can sue me.
Where did it air? Nickelodeon
Why are we reviewing this? Eh.
So, ummm...to more or less paraphrase Mike, that happened.
First of all, the, ummm...interesting format choice. Lately it's been a bit of a kick for Nickelodeon to squeeze NOMs into an hour-length instead of the more traditional 90 minute length, particularly with Rufus and its sequel. They resisted the temptation for Legends of the Hidden Temple and Escape From Mr. Lemoncello's Library, but probably only because the former is based on one of Nickelodeon's most fondly remembered properties and they were probably banking on a bigger nostalgia contribution in the ratings and the latter is based on a pretty hot middle school book property right now (as it turned out, both ended up being major ratings disappointments, in no small part due to Nickelodeon almost forgetting they even had the Escape From Mr. Lemoncello's Library movie). With the extended hour-length and the single-cam format it's easy to assume this is in effect a Thundermans movie, the first Nick series to get a proper movie in years (especially if you consider the single-cam format to be closer in spirit to a "movie" than the 90-minute run time of the iCarly movies/specials).
...except they decided to overlay a laugh track onto it, for some reason.
Look, Nickelodeon has made many bizarre choices over the course of the now over half-decade I've been watching the network as a grown-ass adult. As with most of them, I can't explain this one other than...some kidcom trope obligation? Not to mention many of the shots, especially the interior shots (it got to the point where I'm convinced it's simply most of them) just simply look identical to the multi-cam shots of all the other episodes anyway.
Beyond that it's...a pretty typical Thundermans episode with some admittedly nifty fight choreography. Was that the whole deciding factor as to adopt the single-cam format? Well that and the location shooting, I imagine. Of course they just as easily could've gone with indoor sets and continue the multi-cam format ala Good Luck Charlie's Sun Show, Jessie's Aloha Holidays with Parker and Joey and the entirety of Bucket and Skinner...all, like 8 episodes or so. But hey, the entire cast was probably already in Hawaii for Paradise Run so why not I guess?
Episode Grade: A flat C. Like I said it's just a regular episode of Thundermans with extra pizzaz where it mattered the least. The action and plot is paint-by-numbers, and there were more jokes that were misses than hits.
Episode MVP:
Extra Thoughts:
- There's still like 10 or 15 extra episodes of Thundermans to go, depending if the extra 5 episode order extended the season to 25 total or 30 total. It's been an enjoyable series and the fourth season is well-deserved...but...I was just expecting more with Thunder in Paradise. I think the average episode of Thundermans, multi-cam format, largely confined to one or two indoor sets and all, has more to offer.
- also, it's getting to that time of year where we reflect on the past 12 months, namely the shows that have left and what's come to fill their place (and given the fickle nature of the kidcom business, which ended up being both) in our Dearly Departed and New Arrivals annual feature and which network came out on top in our Yearly Winners and Losers annual feature so, hope you're as excited for that as I am!
I have a catchphrase now? I know what I have to do......exploit it until everybody who reads this blog gets sick of it and it becomes a parody of itself.
To be honest, I was going to watch this, but I think I quit halfway through. The one thing that I focused on (and this is probably just my personal thing but who knows?) was the fact that Diego Velazquez is older now. His voice is irritating because he still has to play the role of the idiot, so now instead of him maturing, his character now sounds and acts like he can't spell his own name. I hate it when kid actors get older. They're only hired to be the cute kid and get a few witty lines, but then they go through puberty and because the show only wanted them around to be cute, they keep relying on the old shtick or end up giving them more "mature" stories that nobody cares about while the main characters do their thing. I think it's called the Rudy Huxtable disease or something like that. Anyway, I noticed how badly Diego delivers his lines now that he's older and his character hasn't changed. It reminds me that a lot of these kids don't get hired because they can actually act. Wow, Henry Danger legitimately has one over The Thundermans in that case. That's a scary thought.
I find it weird how this episode looks a lot more like a movie but they sometimes treat it like a regular episode.
I'm not really sure how I'm going to feel when this show ends. I was never a huge fan of it, but by default, it became the best live-action show on Nick (mostly because other shows ended or got cancelled, while the network pushed much worse shows harder) and it has never irritated me the same way these other Nick shows currently do. It might be bland and forgettable on its worst day, but I've never had problems watching it. A few years ago, The Thundermans would have been a reliable #2 or #3 show, and it was forced to become the leader because no other show could carry the weight. Actually, why don't I just slow down and save these thoughts for next year when the series finale airs? This is starting to get a little depressing.
The What I'm Thankful For Post (posted the day after Thanksgiving, because of course)
Less serious and going back on-topic, so back to the red text we go!
I could just make this a general "what I'm/we're thankful for" post but honestly those are kinda lame and cliche at this point - there's sooo many other sources for that where people are already saying what we're all thinking anyway, and besides I don't want to turn this into the same level utter shit-show disaster WH press secretary Sara Huckabee Sanders - yes as in her dad, professional bigot Mike Huckabee - turned a pre-Thanksgiving press conference into. So I'm going to keep this about being what we have to be thankful for with Disney Channel, Nickelodeon and other related things.
...which...isn't much.
I'm thankful for Andi Mack, even though I haven't seen Season 2 yet.
I'm thankful for Thundermans, even if Thunder in Paradise turned out to be a weird disappointment (more on that real soon).
I'm thankful that people will still put up weird fan-trailers for things only they care about.
I'm anti-thankful for Bunk'd, the fact that it got renewed, the fact that Peyton List won't even be in it anymore even though this show exists solely to be her starring vehicle, the unfunny and often flat-out racist and discriminatory jokes it relies on, the travesty it's made of the Suite Life/Jessie legacy (though the final seasons of both those shows did a pretty good job of that too), this weird hatred thing Pammy O'Connell apparently has for my hometown and the really disturbing Karan Brar stan that keeps sending me hate-Tweets when I'm pretty convinced the only reason why she watches the show is because she has an unhealthy infatuation for him, and wants to do things to him that would make him file a restraining order immediately. But at least with three seasons it means the Jessie legacy is going to last over twice as long as GMW, and Bunk'd by itself is going to last as long as GMW so...I'm thankful for that, I guess?
I'm also thankful that Girl Meets World ended earlier this year so we don't have to deal with bullshit like this anymore. Not as thankful for that as I am? Deal with it.
I'm thankful we at least got Liv and Maddie, in any form. I actually liked Cali style. Again, if you didn't (and I understand there are plenty of people who didn't), deal with it.
And I'm thankful that Nickelodeon really picked up the ball this year, at least in terms of imports (or at least spiritual imports/remakes of, I guess we can say). Disney Channel had quite a boatload of them last year - the first season (or series, I suppose) of Mako Mermaids (or Mako: Island of Secrets I suppose) along with Backstage and The Lodge and this year...none. Well, it's a bit more complicated than "they're not gonna return," but Nickelodeon's got Ride, Hunter Street and I Am Frankie to help pick up the slack from their...rather lackluster native offerings. And I'm thankful that I Am Frankie and Hunter Street are coming back (even if I did end up stating Hunter Street was a bit mediocre) although I haven't heard anything of Ride. And I guess Backstage and The Lodge is coming back, at least in a way but...more on that in a separate post.
And since I previously linked to them...I'm even a little thankful for Jezebel because even though being a part of Gawker/Gizmodo media they love clickbait, and have had a history of engaging in shaming and other poisonous behaviors in the pursuit of social justice well...I still learned a lot about social justice from them.
I'm also *real* thankful for getting the flu on Thanksgiving ¬_¬
I could just make this a general "what I'm/we're thankful for" post but honestly those are kinda lame and cliche at this point - there's sooo many other sources for that where people are already saying what we're all thinking anyway, and besides I don't want to turn this into the same level utter shit-show disaster WH press secretary Sara Huckabee Sanders - yes as in her dad, professional bigot Mike Huckabee - turned a pre-Thanksgiving press conference into. So I'm going to keep this about being what we have to be thankful for with Disney Channel, Nickelodeon and other related things.
...which...isn't much.
I'm thankful for Andi Mack, even though I haven't seen Season 2 yet.
I'm thankful for Thundermans, even if Thunder in Paradise turned out to be a weird disappointment (more on that real soon).
I'm thankful that people will still put up weird fan-trailers for things only they care about.
I'm anti-thankful for Bunk'd, the fact that it got renewed, the fact that Peyton List won't even be in it anymore even though this show exists solely to be her starring vehicle, the unfunny and often flat-out racist and discriminatory jokes it relies on, the travesty it's made of the Suite Life/Jessie legacy (though the final seasons of both those shows did a pretty good job of that too), this weird hatred thing Pammy O'Connell apparently has for my hometown and the really disturbing Karan Brar stan that keeps sending me hate-Tweets when I'm pretty convinced the only reason why she watches the show is because she has an unhealthy infatuation for him, and wants to do things to him that would make him file a restraining order immediately. But at least with three seasons it means the Jessie legacy is going to last over twice as long as GMW, and Bunk'd by itself is going to last as long as GMW so...I'm thankful for that, I guess?
I'm also thankful that Girl Meets World ended earlier this year so we don't have to deal with bullshit like this anymore. Not as thankful for that as I am? Deal with it.
I'm thankful we at least got Liv and Maddie, in any form. I actually liked Cali style. Again, if you didn't (and I understand there are plenty of people who didn't), deal with it.
And I'm thankful that Nickelodeon really picked up the ball this year, at least in terms of imports (or at least spiritual imports/remakes of, I guess we can say). Disney Channel had quite a boatload of them last year - the first season (or series, I suppose) of Mako Mermaids (or Mako: Island of Secrets I suppose) along with Backstage and The Lodge and this year...none. Well, it's a bit more complicated than "they're not gonna return," but Nickelodeon's got Ride, Hunter Street and I Am Frankie to help pick up the slack from their...rather lackluster native offerings. And I'm thankful that I Am Frankie and Hunter Street are coming back (even if I did end up stating Hunter Street was a bit mediocre) although I haven't heard anything of Ride. And I guess Backstage and The Lodge is coming back, at least in a way but...more on that in a separate post.
And since I previously linked to them...I'm even a little thankful for Jezebel because even though being a part of Gawker/Gizmodo media they love clickbait, and have had a history of engaging in shaming and other poisonous behaviors in the pursuit of social justice well...I still learned a lot about social justice from them.
I'm also *real* thankful for getting the flu on Thanksgiving ¬_¬
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
My #MeToo Story - P.S. I'm not exactly always the victim here (Part 1 of a 2 part post)
Ray here. I'm going to forgo the usual color scheme due to the severity of the topic, so I'm just putting this up here so people understand this isn't Mike.
But anyway, there's been a whole ton of events that have got me thinking about things the past, well, month or so now I guess, if not all the way back deep into September it feels like. The Harvey Weinstein "outing" I guess (big massive quotes around that one because 1.) I don't want to associate it with outing someone who's LGBTQ+, although I'll just go ahead and throw in a brief word about how scummy it is to forcibly and non-consequentially out someone like that too, and 2.) it was a pretty damn big open secret that Weinstien was a serial sexual assaulter and what this is really about is that a group of incredibly brave women decided it was finally time to do something - and I really have to wonder if maybe even they themselves are surprised about just how much they've accomplished, and I really hope this is remembered as how a small group of people or even individuals can affect great change when it's needed) and the associated #MeToo campaign. And as I watched the whole #MeToo campaign gain momentum, there was hardly a day when an actor I followed on Twitter didn't update their feed with that hashtag. Debby Ryan has of course spoken much about her incident of abuse when on the road touring in 2015. But abuse effects us all no matter who we are - like when Mean Girls actor Daniel Franzese talked about how Bully co-actor Bijou Phillips assaulted him, and Phillips' consequent apology. If you click the link you'll read about how Phillips talks about how it was a "different time" (this was back in 2001) and how her mentality as a teenager was vastly different from what it was today and how she's shocked that "she wasn't the ally she remembers being." And this might seem to be a pretty big cop-out but...she actually has a point there that'd I'd like to talk about, and what kind of lessons we can learn to really educate people on who assault prevention is so important. But before we get to that point I feel it's very disingenuous to get there without talking about my own #MeToo story - and like I say in the title, I wasn't exactly the victim here.
When I was a teen, I myself engaged in assault behavior - namely stalking-like behavior towards women (mostly my own age as a pre-teen or teenager, but not necessarily always). And yes, I engaged in homophobic behavior too. I've even engaged in assault behavior relatively recently, but I've learned so much about why that behavior isn't acceptable since the most recent incident, and needless to say much more so since I was a teen.
I've talked about my ex-girlfriend/ex-finacee before in the post about Debby's DUI, but here's a refresher: she's a rape survivor. And...I guess that speaks for itself in this context, but again you can read more in the previously referred to post. And when I was still trying to get over my breakup, even a year or two later, I wasn't exactly the best ally I thought I was being. One day I was in a chatroom and I was getting emotional and a little worked up and I guess a little bitter about the breakup, and I ended up cracking jokes about my ex's experience as a rape survivor - right in front of who turned out to be another rape survivor.
And yeah, I pretty much blew it with that other person in terms of having any sort of amicable relationship, even as just two virtual people on-line - and I'm not going to lie, our interactions remained tense from that point on. So much so in fact that it got to a point where I felt like I could no longer be a part of that community (although there were other factors, too). But that's not my point. My point isn't about excuses or justifying people acting ignorantly - it's about how people change their ignorant behavior. For me it wasn't even being engaged to marriage with a rape survivor, but it was meeting another one who was able to show me just how dangerous and damaging my ignorant behavior was.
And after I met that person, and really reflected on my behavior and how damaging it was, well...I really thought about my ex as a survivor. And I started doing things, and changing my behavior without even realizing it. And starting having a high interest in organizations that help survivors, and now I'm working to try to combine my interests in young adult lit and these stupid kiddie shows that review here and helping survivors into what I'm hoping will be a brand-new career for me (got an interview two and a half weeks from now, so feel free to wish me luck!)
And in the meantime I met a ton of LGBTQ+ people - gays/lesbians, trans, literally the entire spectrum. My bestest friend in the whole goddamn world (shoutout if you're reading this :) is a transgender woman, and I've known her well before she transitioned. We...have our differences in opinion on how to stamp out transphobia and homophobia, but I at least like to think we agree on not strong trans rights, but total trans rights. And she's not the only transgender woman I'm friends with too - in fact all the trans people I've ever met (as admittedly few as they are) are absolutely outstanding individuals, without exception. And that goes for everyone else I've met and known in the LGBTQ+ spectrum...well, not entirely as every population pool is going to have jerks.
Actually, let's talk about that, because I'm not just somebody ignorant who's committed my own transgressions, but I've been assaulted too. Yes, I can myself say #MeToo. In my senior year of college, another college-aged man, one who lived in my neighborhood and who've I've known, attempted to rape me, going so far as to grab my penis. Years later, when I returned to college to get my teaching degree, yet another college-age man assaulted me on the bus, groping my buttocks.
But I consider both of those to be isolated incidents and in no way indicative of the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, again, I've met tons and tons of people on that spectrum who are outstanding and vastly outnumber scumbags like I just mentioned. Just last week I participated on a campus Day of Remembrance event, where I proudly physically embraced trans and gay people who themselves were kind enough to let me do so, in a moment of understanding and solidarity.
My point being, again, is not to make lame excuses, but to point out that education is how we stop assault and rape.I engaged in the assault behavior I did as a teen because I wasn't educated in how important it was to stop behavior like that - and quite frankly, during that time, at least compared to now, there wasn't a lot of interest in spreading that kind of education. Homophobia back then was rampant, if not virtually institutionalized in society. We haven't made a total changeover, but we as a society are working hard at it, and education has come a long way. I suspect that's Bijou Phillips' same case too - not to excuse her behavior as a teen, but she acted like that because there wasn't an interest in educating people on being LGBTQ+ allies, on being survivor allies, on being allies for people who just feel alienated for whatever reason.
There was very little institutionalized and societal interested in education people when I was a teen or even young adult, and I had to learn the very hard way. I had to come to terms with having someone I love dearly and close to my heart - the woman who I was going to frickin' marry - survive a rape situation so brutal it just about permanently destroyed her life. And even then I still acted ignorant. I had to come to terms with how devastated dear friends in the LGBTQ+ community, especially trans people, were just to live their daily lives and the staggering, shocking suicide statistics. Let me tell you, learning the hard way fucking sucks.
So please, to everyone reading this, I implore you, that it's never too early to introduce kindness, sensitivity, and a sense of ally-ism to your friends and family and reflect on your own behavior. And that identifying and changing behavior is a lot more important than trying to simply "out" and "shame" it. There are people like Weinstein who are so clearly serial abusers and assaulters they simply need to be removed from their positions, but I think as a society we can make great strides towards making sure people are educated to not become another Weinstein in the future.
Extra Thoughts
- yeah I hope it doesn't come off as disrespectful putting this regular feature into this post but...I'm writing this while having the flu. I was thinking about holding it off but I don't know how long that'll take, and since I still want to do a Thanksgiving post and I want to get this in before Thanksgiving, I decided just do it now. I'm just mentioning this because I'm just hoping I didn't space out on anything I wanted to mention.
- Part 2 (which will probably be a while from now, maybe even towards the very end of the year) will be more direct about Weinstien and address abuse culture as it applies to these kidcoms we review, particularly since we're still dealing with children here - and yes we'll address my habit of breaking my new year's resolution of "I will not give MVP awards to the prettiest actress just for being the prettiest" here too - see, I still have a ways to go.
But anyway, there's been a whole ton of events that have got me thinking about things the past, well, month or so now I guess, if not all the way back deep into September it feels like. The Harvey Weinstein "outing" I guess (big massive quotes around that one because 1.) I don't want to associate it with outing someone who's LGBTQ+, although I'll just go ahead and throw in a brief word about how scummy it is to forcibly and non-consequentially out someone like that too, and 2.) it was a pretty damn big open secret that Weinstien was a serial sexual assaulter and what this is really about is that a group of incredibly brave women decided it was finally time to do something - and I really have to wonder if maybe even they themselves are surprised about just how much they've accomplished, and I really hope this is remembered as how a small group of people or even individuals can affect great change when it's needed) and the associated #MeToo campaign. And as I watched the whole #MeToo campaign gain momentum, there was hardly a day when an actor I followed on Twitter didn't update their feed with that hashtag. Debby Ryan has of course spoken much about her incident of abuse when on the road touring in 2015. But abuse effects us all no matter who we are - like when Mean Girls actor Daniel Franzese talked about how Bully co-actor Bijou Phillips assaulted him, and Phillips' consequent apology. If you click the link you'll read about how Phillips talks about how it was a "different time" (this was back in 2001) and how her mentality as a teenager was vastly different from what it was today and how she's shocked that "she wasn't the ally she remembers being." And this might seem to be a pretty big cop-out but...she actually has a point there that'd I'd like to talk about, and what kind of lessons we can learn to really educate people on who assault prevention is so important. But before we get to that point I feel it's very disingenuous to get there without talking about my own #MeToo story - and like I say in the title, I wasn't exactly the victim here.
When I was a teen, I myself engaged in assault behavior - namely stalking-like behavior towards women (mostly my own age as a pre-teen or teenager, but not necessarily always). And yes, I engaged in homophobic behavior too. I've even engaged in assault behavior relatively recently, but I've learned so much about why that behavior isn't acceptable since the most recent incident, and needless to say much more so since I was a teen.
I've talked about my ex-girlfriend/ex-finacee before in the post about Debby's DUI, but here's a refresher: she's a rape survivor. And...I guess that speaks for itself in this context, but again you can read more in the previously referred to post. And when I was still trying to get over my breakup, even a year or two later, I wasn't exactly the best ally I thought I was being. One day I was in a chatroom and I was getting emotional and a little worked up and I guess a little bitter about the breakup, and I ended up cracking jokes about my ex's experience as a rape survivor - right in front of who turned out to be another rape survivor.
And yeah, I pretty much blew it with that other person in terms of having any sort of amicable relationship, even as just two virtual people on-line - and I'm not going to lie, our interactions remained tense from that point on. So much so in fact that it got to a point where I felt like I could no longer be a part of that community (although there were other factors, too). But that's not my point. My point isn't about excuses or justifying people acting ignorantly - it's about how people change their ignorant behavior. For me it wasn't even being engaged to marriage with a rape survivor, but it was meeting another one who was able to show me just how dangerous and damaging my ignorant behavior was.
And after I met that person, and really reflected on my behavior and how damaging it was, well...I really thought about my ex as a survivor. And I started doing things, and changing my behavior without even realizing it. And starting having a high interest in organizations that help survivors, and now I'm working to try to combine my interests in young adult lit and these stupid kiddie shows that review here and helping survivors into what I'm hoping will be a brand-new career for me (got an interview two and a half weeks from now, so feel free to wish me luck!)
And in the meantime I met a ton of LGBTQ+ people - gays/lesbians, trans, literally the entire spectrum. My bestest friend in the whole goddamn world (shoutout if you're reading this :) is a transgender woman, and I've known her well before she transitioned. We...have our differences in opinion on how to stamp out transphobia and homophobia, but I at least like to think we agree on not strong trans rights, but total trans rights. And she's not the only transgender woman I'm friends with too - in fact all the trans people I've ever met (as admittedly few as they are) are absolutely outstanding individuals, without exception. And that goes for everyone else I've met and known in the LGBTQ+ spectrum...well, not entirely as every population pool is going to have jerks.
Actually, let's talk about that, because I'm not just somebody ignorant who's committed my own transgressions, but I've been assaulted too. Yes, I can myself say #MeToo. In my senior year of college, another college-aged man, one who lived in my neighborhood and who've I've known, attempted to rape me, going so far as to grab my penis. Years later, when I returned to college to get my teaching degree, yet another college-age man assaulted me on the bus, groping my buttocks.
But I consider both of those to be isolated incidents and in no way indicative of the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, again, I've met tons and tons of people on that spectrum who are outstanding and vastly outnumber scumbags like I just mentioned. Just last week I participated on a campus Day of Remembrance event, where I proudly physically embraced trans and gay people who themselves were kind enough to let me do so, in a moment of understanding and solidarity.
My point being, again, is not to make lame excuses, but to point out that education is how we stop assault and rape.I engaged in the assault behavior I did as a teen because I wasn't educated in how important it was to stop behavior like that - and quite frankly, during that time, at least compared to now, there wasn't a lot of interest in spreading that kind of education. Homophobia back then was rampant, if not virtually institutionalized in society. We haven't made a total changeover, but we as a society are working hard at it, and education has come a long way. I suspect that's Bijou Phillips' same case too - not to excuse her behavior as a teen, but she acted like that because there wasn't an interest in educating people on being LGBTQ+ allies, on being survivor allies, on being allies for people who just feel alienated for whatever reason.
There was very little institutionalized and societal interested in education people when I was a teen or even young adult, and I had to learn the very hard way. I had to come to terms with having someone I love dearly and close to my heart - the woman who I was going to frickin' marry - survive a rape situation so brutal it just about permanently destroyed her life. And even then I still acted ignorant. I had to come to terms with how devastated dear friends in the LGBTQ+ community, especially trans people, were just to live their daily lives and the staggering, shocking suicide statistics. Let me tell you, learning the hard way fucking sucks.
So please, to everyone reading this, I implore you, that it's never too early to introduce kindness, sensitivity, and a sense of ally-ism to your friends and family and reflect on your own behavior. And that identifying and changing behavior is a lot more important than trying to simply "out" and "shame" it. There are people like Weinstein who are so clearly serial abusers and assaulters they simply need to be removed from their positions, but I think as a society we can make great strides towards making sure people are educated to not become another Weinstein in the future.
Extra Thoughts
- yeah I hope it doesn't come off as disrespectful putting this regular feature into this post but...I'm writing this while having the flu. I was thinking about holding it off but I don't know how long that'll take, and since I still want to do a Thanksgiving post and I want to get this in before Thanksgiving, I decided just do it now. I'm just mentioning this because I'm just hoping I didn't space out on anything I wanted to mention.
- Part 2 (which will probably be a while from now, maybe even towards the very end of the year) will be more direct about Weinstien and address abuse culture as it applies to these kidcoms we review, particularly since we're still dealing with children here - and yes we'll address my habit of breaking my new year's resolution of "I will not give MVP awards to the prettiest actress just for being the prettiest" here too - see, I still have a ways to go.
A list of movies I hope to put reviews up on this blog by the end of the year (or at least at some time, ever)
- One Crazy Summer
- Better Off Dead
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- The Breakfast Club
- Some Kind of Wonderful
These movies seem...pretty obligatory to be in the viewing background of any well-respecting Millennial so, yeah, I'm way behind right off the bat. I figure I probably want to start with 10 Things I Hate About You since...the TV show was a Dan Schneider production, or something? Then probably The Breakfast Club and then Some Kind of Wonderful, and then the Jon Cusack movies which, at least fortunately, waaay predate his molestation accusations :(
- Better Off Dead
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- The Breakfast Club
- Some Kind of Wonderful
These movies seem...pretty obligatory to be in the viewing background of any well-respecting Millennial so, yeah, I'm way behind right off the bat. I figure I probably want to start with 10 Things I Hate About You since...the TV show was a Dan Schneider production, or something? Then probably The Breakfast Club and then Some Kind of Wonderful, and then the Jon Cusack movies which, at least fortunately, waaay predate his molestation accusations :(
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
KC Undercover Reviewed: Stormy Weather (S3E12)
Sup, Spy Dudes.
What is it? 30-minute multi-cam high-concept spy-themed kidcom
Where did it air? Disney Channel
Who stars in it? Zendaya in her post-Shake it Up star vehicle, along with Veronica Dunn, Kamil McFadden, Trinitee Strokes, and Kadeem Hardison who is perhaps known for being in Bill Cosby's A Different World, which you might know because you probably did what I did and Google'd it after they made a joke reference to it back during one of those The Other Side arcs.
Why are we reviewing this? Because Disney Channel, and etc.
I hate to say it but...I think KC Undercover might be Disney Channel's Henry Danger.
When KC Undercover premiered all the way back in 2015 (it was made available on what used to be Watch Disney Channel, now Disney...uh, NOW) it was imperfect, sure. It was a lighter series - not necessarily lighter-hearted (although I think you can make an argument for that, too) but actually lighter in content and narrative. You had K.C., a teen spy...do spy stuff. And, um, that was it. Like many other kidcoms both good and bad, the quality of an episode was often dependent on the delivery and effectiveness of its jokes.
Then they started introducing The Other Side arcs, to give KC an actual nemesis and...yeah, sure, it spiced things up and added some narrative interest and a badly needed source of conflict other than Random Spy Thing of the Week. But they kinda went ahead of themselves and finished off The Other Side a bit early, and then the plotlines started kinda going off the rails. How off the rails? Well, as I opened up with it's been about even with Henry Danger, and no that is not a compliment. That is the exact opposite of a compliment. The new plotlines and villain organizations feel random and written by people who think teens might as well be an extraterrestrial species - yes, much like the feel of Henry Danger at its worst - and the new bad guy spies that have filled in for The Other Side, The Alternate, are in this vein that's just a few notches above being a hot mess.
And indeed, The Alternate arc and its singularly-threaded storyline has been occupying the entirety of the series since what feels like forever - through the entirety of the summer, if not well back into spring, and finally coming to a conclusion in the middle of November just shortly before Thanksgiving. Part of the fault has been in spreading out the episodes to an insane degree, with literal months in between premieres in some cases making it easy to forget that the show even exists. Yeah, if you thought the scheduling of Girl Meets World was bad. Hell, this is literally iCarly bad. Now that I mention it, I have to wonder if there's a common cause - spiraling production costs has caused the network to try to have its cake and eat it too, spreading out episodes as much as they feel they can get away with (and networks are wont to think they can get away with nearly anything) to help reduce and spread those costs across a reduced number of episodes, but still avoid an outright cancellation and lose a major chunk of the network's total audience.
That said, that's also an insanely long string of episodes for a show that has only done a few long-form arcs and still remains largely episodic, with this arc being by far its longest and most major. And especially given that...it hasn't been a terribly interesting one either. It was initially sold on teasing Marissa becoming a spy, and then being tricked into joining The Alternate against KC, but it became increasingly clear that it was less actually about Marissa and more about Alternate spy Brady who has all the personality of exactly the type of actor cast for looks and not much else you'd find in secondary guest characters on Disney Channel.
Stormy Weather is the final episode of The Alternate Arc, and again it's as predictable as a bad Henry Danger episode, insisting on a paint-by-numbers plot and running through the most groan-worthy of tropes to the point where you just have to shake your head at how KC could possibly be fooled this way. Except for some basically choreographed fight sequences (and there really are few) there's...not a lot dynamically going on in an episode that's supposed to the climax and conclusion of the show's biggest storyarc in its history so far, a storyarc that's taken up most of the scheduled airing this calendar year, as few as they've been. It doesn't even really feel like filler, it just feels like a big void.
So...yeah. I've been watching the Alternate Arc on and off here and there, mostly in second-run Saturday morning form (often weeks after original premiere airings, especially since I was especially busy this summer with professional development courses) but I think this is actually the first time I've watched a premiere of KC Undercover on its actual premiere night since at least the season premiere back in February or so, if not the entire calendar year. The finale of The Other Side once and for all, where China Ann McClain plays on of The Other Side's most elite agents and what's her face, who was on a few episode of Liv and Maddie but I'm suddenly spacing her name, seemed interesting, but I just simply forgot to watch it as I'd just lost interest in KC Undercover long before that point.
I'll be watching the next episode, Deleted! (yes with exclamation point and all) because Judy-focused episodes tend to be really funny, but I feel pretty satisfied in not being a regular viewer anymore. Which is sad because I'm a huge Zendaya fan and the cast built around her is actually exceptionally talented, especially Trinitee which, age-for-age, might be the most talented actor on the entire network right now at least, and I think Kamil is a really talented, really funny actor too (I also tend to like episodes focused around Ernie)...but the voids around all that just don't make it seem worth it.
Episode Grade: C-. It's...stuff. In a void.
Episode MVP: Veronica Dunn because *throws hands up in air*. At least I'm not giving it to her just because she's really pretty even though...well, she is. But I really do feel like giving her MVP because...*throws hands up in air*. You know, like when you're on Jeopardy! and you accidentally buzz into a clue you have no idea about because you probably weren't even paying attention and your reaction to it all's like...eh. But hey, she is legitimately talented and her character was pretty central to the action so there you go.
Unfortunately I can't award it to Trinitee since she doesn't even appear in this episode...for some reason. I'm still really attempted to give it to Kamil even though he's in it for not even two minutes and literally has like two lines.
Extra Thoughts:
- yeah, with me trying to clear out my DVR it's probably going to be a while until I get to Andi Mack. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying here. From what I've seen it's an absolutely adorable series - Cyrus' coming out was really sweet, and I guess Amber's making real effort to not be a bitch...maybe.
- ...and...I keep confusing Cyrus and Jonah. I know I've been told I'm face blind but it's easier to keep track of those two when they're standing next to each other, or based on the characters they typically interact with and how, then trying to figure out "ok the kid who's actually named Jonah in real life plays Cyrus and the kid named freakin' Asher Angel which I still maintain sounds like exactly the name Disney Channel would give to an actor they themselves genetically created is Jonah and...ugh, I suck at this."
What is it? 30-minute multi-cam high-concept spy-themed kidcom
Where did it air? Disney Channel
Who stars in it? Zendaya in her post-Shake it Up star vehicle, along with Veronica Dunn, Kamil McFadden, Trinitee Strokes, and Kadeem Hardison who is perhaps known for being in Bill Cosby's A Different World, which you might know because you probably did what I did and Google'd it after they made a joke reference to it back during one of those The Other Side arcs.
Why are we reviewing this? Because Disney Channel, and etc.
I hate to say it but...I think KC Undercover might be Disney Channel's Henry Danger.
When KC Undercover premiered all the way back in 2015 (it was made available on what used to be Watch Disney Channel, now Disney...uh, NOW) it was imperfect, sure. It was a lighter series - not necessarily lighter-hearted (although I think you can make an argument for that, too) but actually lighter in content and narrative. You had K.C., a teen spy...do spy stuff. And, um, that was it. Like many other kidcoms both good and bad, the quality of an episode was often dependent on the delivery and effectiveness of its jokes.
Then they started introducing The Other Side arcs, to give KC an actual nemesis and...yeah, sure, it spiced things up and added some narrative interest and a badly needed source of conflict other than Random Spy Thing of the Week. But they kinda went ahead of themselves and finished off The Other Side a bit early, and then the plotlines started kinda going off the rails. How off the rails? Well, as I opened up with it's been about even with Henry Danger, and no that is not a compliment. That is the exact opposite of a compliment. The new plotlines and villain organizations feel random and written by people who think teens might as well be an extraterrestrial species - yes, much like the feel of Henry Danger at its worst - and the new bad guy spies that have filled in for The Other Side, The Alternate, are in this vein that's just a few notches above being a hot mess.
And indeed, The Alternate arc and its singularly-threaded storyline has been occupying the entirety of the series since what feels like forever - through the entirety of the summer, if not well back into spring, and finally coming to a conclusion in the middle of November just shortly before Thanksgiving. Part of the fault has been in spreading out the episodes to an insane degree, with literal months in between premieres in some cases making it easy to forget that the show even exists. Yeah, if you thought the scheduling of Girl Meets World was bad. Hell, this is literally iCarly bad. Now that I mention it, I have to wonder if there's a common cause - spiraling production costs has caused the network to try to have its cake and eat it too, spreading out episodes as much as they feel they can get away with (and networks are wont to think they can get away with nearly anything) to help reduce and spread those costs across a reduced number of episodes, but still avoid an outright cancellation and lose a major chunk of the network's total audience.
That said, that's also an insanely long string of episodes for a show that has only done a few long-form arcs and still remains largely episodic, with this arc being by far its longest and most major. And especially given that...it hasn't been a terribly interesting one either. It was initially sold on teasing Marissa becoming a spy, and then being tricked into joining The Alternate against KC, but it became increasingly clear that it was less actually about Marissa and more about Alternate spy Brady who has all the personality of exactly the type of actor cast for looks and not much else you'd find in secondary guest characters on Disney Channel.
Stormy Weather is the final episode of The Alternate Arc, and again it's as predictable as a bad Henry Danger episode, insisting on a paint-by-numbers plot and running through the most groan-worthy of tropes to the point where you just have to shake your head at how KC could possibly be fooled this way. Except for some basically choreographed fight sequences (and there really are few) there's...not a lot dynamically going on in an episode that's supposed to the climax and conclusion of the show's biggest storyarc in its history so far, a storyarc that's taken up most of the scheduled airing this calendar year, as few as they've been. It doesn't even really feel like filler, it just feels like a big void.
So...yeah. I've been watching the Alternate Arc on and off here and there, mostly in second-run Saturday morning form (often weeks after original premiere airings, especially since I was especially busy this summer with professional development courses) but I think this is actually the first time I've watched a premiere of KC Undercover on its actual premiere night since at least the season premiere back in February or so, if not the entire calendar year. The finale of The Other Side once and for all, where China Ann McClain plays on of The Other Side's most elite agents and what's her face, who was on a few episode of Liv and Maddie but I'm suddenly spacing her name, seemed interesting, but I just simply forgot to watch it as I'd just lost interest in KC Undercover long before that point.
I'll be watching the next episode, Deleted! (yes with exclamation point and all) because Judy-focused episodes tend to be really funny, but I feel pretty satisfied in not being a regular viewer anymore. Which is sad because I'm a huge Zendaya fan and the cast built around her is actually exceptionally talented, especially Trinitee which, age-for-age, might be the most talented actor on the entire network right now at least, and I think Kamil is a really talented, really funny actor too (I also tend to like episodes focused around Ernie)...but the voids around all that just don't make it seem worth it.
Episode Grade: C-. It's...stuff. In a void.
Episode MVP: Veronica Dunn because *throws hands up in air*. At least I'm not giving it to her just because she's really pretty even though...well, she is. But I really do feel like giving her MVP because...*throws hands up in air*. You know, like when you're on Jeopardy! and you accidentally buzz into a clue you have no idea about because you probably weren't even paying attention and your reaction to it all's like...eh. But hey, she is legitimately talented and her character was pretty central to the action so there you go.
Unfortunately I can't award it to Trinitee since she doesn't even appear in this episode...for some reason. I'm still really attempted to give it to Kamil even though he's in it for not even two minutes and literally has like two lines.
Extra Thoughts:
- yeah, with me trying to clear out my DVR it's probably going to be a while until I get to Andi Mack. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying here. From what I've seen it's an absolutely adorable series - Cyrus' coming out was really sweet, and I guess Amber's making real effort to not be a bitch...maybe.
- ...and...I keep confusing Cyrus and Jonah. I know I've been told I'm face blind but it's easier to keep track of those two when they're standing next to each other, or based on the characters they typically interact with and how, then trying to figure out "ok the kid who's actually named Jonah in real life plays Cyrus and the kid named freakin' Asher Angel which I still maintain sounds like exactly the name Disney Channel would give to an actor they themselves genetically created is Jonah and...ugh, I suck at this."
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Where I've been and how things stand right now part...I lost count and I don't really care to count anyway
No, no need to get all alarmed and everything just explaining why there hasn't been much updates (and why there won't be for maybe a little while):
- right now I'm sick which means the fact that I'm even writing this is a minor miracle. No, not majorly sick just "I have a cold" sick.
- Also just right now I've been busy. I've...just been trying to clear out my DVR. Yes clearing out my DVR is more important than this blog, which probably goes a long way towards explaining my grand total readership of like the five of you.
- ...actually, well...I can somewhat justify clearing out my DVR as being in the area of business related towards my blog as I've been binge-watching every episode of the first season of I Am Frankie, Backstage (yes that show that aired its S1 finale just over a year ago so sue me) and now I'm working on Mako Mermaids (yes that show that last aired on Disney Channel nearly two years ago) and Ride (yes that show that was on at the beginning of the year) and The Lodge (yes the one that has Dove Cameron on it now). Also a few DCOMs lingering left over from the 100th DCOM celebration (yes the one that was also nearly a year and a half ago that coincided with Adventures in Babysitting, P.S. there's been kind of a reason why those have been just lingering on my DVR).Oh, and Thundermans: Thunder in Paradise. Yes I'm pretty much just a hoarder when it comes to DVR recordings. And, um, kind of everything else if you knew me in real life.
- Also, I've been looking for a new job, or more specifically, just, uh, I guess you can say "reposition" my current work. As you may know I work in the publishing industry but I've been spending the last few months looking for a specific change, so that I can basically do exactly what I'm doing now - offering editing, agency and consulting services - but instead working for organizations and advocacy groups for survivors of violence and abuse who wish to tell their stories.
- On that note and in regards to why I want to work with survivors in this capacity...uhhh...I've consulted with some of my most active readers on this blog (and since there's a readership of only like five to begin with...yeah you probably know exactly who you are) because given recent topics in current events I feel it's important to address the institutionalization of sexism, sex assault and rape in entertainment since you damn well bet that's a relevant topic for this blog, with a number of child stars including Debby Ryan having come forward about being targeted by sexual assault at some point in their careers. But in order to address that I need to address certain...problems with how child stars that for example typically headline Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows are treated in entertainment media (if you know the latest controversy surrounding how some entertainment news media have treated and referred to Millie Bobby Brown...yeah, exactly like that) and...well, it's kind of hard to do that when the biggest offender I know, whether personally or on social media...is myself.
You can probably go through any given review or post and you'll have no trouble finding references and remarks to the physical appearance of actresses, many of whom are 18 or at least barely over. Hell, I've awarded MVP awards to actresses for things reviewed just because they happen to be the prettiest, often for episodes or movies they don't even actually appear in. Yes, it's a problem, and it's my problem, or specifically I'm helping to perpetuate the problem. Yes I'm aware of it, I even made it my new year's resolution to stop, and given that it's already nearly Thanksgiving well obviously I performed the classic American tradition of not keeping to it. I'm hoping that maybe having a wider conversation about it, or well a blog post at least, will help.
But I also have to fess up to other things. I was going to mention this in a more specific, dedicated post and I'll be repeating all this fresh in such a post but...I really need to come out too. The issue of institutionalized sexual assault is a particular issue that's close to me for a number of reasons that you may already know if you're a regular follower of this blog (so like, exactly no one but still) but also for reasons that I haven't really talked about for years and years. I've had people very, very close to me be victimized by assault and rape (and by that I very specifically mean my fiancee)...and I've committed actions that by today's standards can be construed as sexual assault...and I myself have been victimized by sexual assault and attempted rape.
But like I said, I'll talk about all that in a dedicated post, I just want to briefly touch on my own actions - I never physically assaulted someone (not that I remember anyway, as cheesy a defense as that is - but keep in mind this was years ago and I actually have a proven medical condition towards forgetfulness) but I've definitely made women feel uncomfortable in a way that can be construed as harassment in a way that, at the time, I didn't understand (this was years ago when I was young, a tween and even teen). I don't want to sound like I'm defending people who commit assault, but a big part of it is that there's definitely a lack of education about it when I was growing up. I certainly hope that's changed, but a lack of education is what I really do believe lead to the institutionalization of sexual assault.
How I came around to learning and understanding about what it means to survive sexual assault, I had to do it the hard way. And no I'm not even talking about when I myself survived physical contact sexual assault and attempted rape, that's a piece of cake compared to how I actually had to learn - when I met the most wonderful woman I've ever met and I had to learn from her the horror stories of what happens to a person who survived extremely horrific rape, the details of which literally made me break down into tears when I shared them with professionals I trust (which, sorry but doesn't include any of you guys). The relevant details I can share I've already done so in a previous post over a year ago anyway, you can go find it yourself for the time being.
But like I said, I'll cover all this in a dedicated post.
- Also, some of my friends and co-workers seem to think my calling in life is to be a book reviewers. So I'm like, ok, I'll see about reviewing books then. Not as just another hobby blog either but for one of the big review sites in a paid position, so I'll have a go at that. BTW did I mention I have a dedicated book review blog now? And by "now" I mean about a year or so before I even created this one, even though it's completely empty because of course it is.
- Also, same said friends and co-workers seem to think it's my calling in life to be a YA author so, yeah I can try that too. I figure I can start out by adapting my Liv and Maddie script into a fanfic (yes I wrote one of those).
- Also we have a Tumblr now (well, I have a Tumblr, Mike's kinda on his on on that, sorry). Don't worry we're not fully migrating over there anytime..ever. In fact I'm just going to repost things there for more follows/readership and readership interaction, all content will be first and foremost posted here on this Blogspot. More than anything I'm just having a Tumblr to interact with one of my most favorite Tumblr blogs, Analyzing Taylor (yes I'm also a Tay-Tay head, I'm sure this surprises exactly no one).
- right now I'm sick which means the fact that I'm even writing this is a minor miracle. No, not majorly sick just "I have a cold" sick.
- Also just right now I've been busy. I've...just been trying to clear out my DVR. Yes clearing out my DVR is more important than this blog, which probably goes a long way towards explaining my grand total readership of like the five of you.
- ...actually, well...I can somewhat justify clearing out my DVR as being in the area of business related towards my blog as I've been binge-watching every episode of the first season of I Am Frankie, Backstage (yes that show that aired its S1 finale just over a year ago so sue me) and now I'm working on Mako Mermaids (yes that show that last aired on Disney Channel nearly two years ago) and Ride (yes that show that was on at the beginning of the year) and The Lodge (yes the one that has Dove Cameron on it now). Also a few DCOMs lingering left over from the 100th DCOM celebration (yes the one that was also nearly a year and a half ago that coincided with Adventures in Babysitting, P.S. there's been kind of a reason why those have been just lingering on my DVR).Oh, and Thundermans: Thunder in Paradise. Yes I'm pretty much just a hoarder when it comes to DVR recordings. And, um, kind of everything else if you knew me in real life.
- Also, I've been looking for a new job, or more specifically, just, uh, I guess you can say "reposition" my current work. As you may know I work in the publishing industry but I've been spending the last few months looking for a specific change, so that I can basically do exactly what I'm doing now - offering editing, agency and consulting services - but instead working for organizations and advocacy groups for survivors of violence and abuse who wish to tell their stories.
- On that note and in regards to why I want to work with survivors in this capacity...uhhh...I've consulted with some of my most active readers on this blog (and since there's a readership of only like five to begin with...yeah you probably know exactly who you are) because given recent topics in current events I feel it's important to address the institutionalization of sexism, sex assault and rape in entertainment since you damn well bet that's a relevant topic for this blog, with a number of child stars including Debby Ryan having come forward about being targeted by sexual assault at some point in their careers. But in order to address that I need to address certain...problems with how child stars that for example typically headline Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows are treated in entertainment media (if you know the latest controversy surrounding how some entertainment news media have treated and referred to Millie Bobby Brown...yeah, exactly like that) and...well, it's kind of hard to do that when the biggest offender I know, whether personally or on social media...is myself.
You can probably go through any given review or post and you'll have no trouble finding references and remarks to the physical appearance of actresses, many of whom are 18 or at least barely over. Hell, I've awarded MVP awards to actresses for things reviewed just because they happen to be the prettiest, often for episodes or movies they don't even actually appear in. Yes, it's a problem, and it's my problem, or specifically I'm helping to perpetuate the problem. Yes I'm aware of it, I even made it my new year's resolution to stop, and given that it's already nearly Thanksgiving well obviously I performed the classic American tradition of not keeping to it. I'm hoping that maybe having a wider conversation about it, or well a blog post at least, will help.
But I also have to fess up to other things. I was going to mention this in a more specific, dedicated post and I'll be repeating all this fresh in such a post but...I really need to come out too. The issue of institutionalized sexual assault is a particular issue that's close to me for a number of reasons that you may already know if you're a regular follower of this blog (so like, exactly no one but still) but also for reasons that I haven't really talked about for years and years. I've had people very, very close to me be victimized by assault and rape (and by that I very specifically mean my fiancee)...and I've committed actions that by today's standards can be construed as sexual assault...and I myself have been victimized by sexual assault and attempted rape.
But like I said, I'll talk about all that in a dedicated post, I just want to briefly touch on my own actions - I never physically assaulted someone (not that I remember anyway, as cheesy a defense as that is - but keep in mind this was years ago and I actually have a proven medical condition towards forgetfulness) but I've definitely made women feel uncomfortable in a way that can be construed as harassment in a way that, at the time, I didn't understand (this was years ago when I was young, a tween and even teen). I don't want to sound like I'm defending people who commit assault, but a big part of it is that there's definitely a lack of education about it when I was growing up. I certainly hope that's changed, but a lack of education is what I really do believe lead to the institutionalization of sexual assault.
How I came around to learning and understanding about what it means to survive sexual assault, I had to do it the hard way. And no I'm not even talking about when I myself survived physical contact sexual assault and attempted rape, that's a piece of cake compared to how I actually had to learn - when I met the most wonderful woman I've ever met and I had to learn from her the horror stories of what happens to a person who survived extremely horrific rape, the details of which literally made me break down into tears when I shared them with professionals I trust (which, sorry but doesn't include any of you guys). The relevant details I can share I've already done so in a previous post over a year ago anyway, you can go find it yourself for the time being.
But like I said, I'll cover all this in a dedicated post.
- Also, some of my friends and co-workers seem to think my calling in life is to be a book reviewers. So I'm like, ok, I'll see about reviewing books then. Not as just another hobby blog either but for one of the big review sites in a paid position, so I'll have a go at that. BTW did I mention I have a dedicated book review blog now? And by "now" I mean about a year or so before I even created this one, even though it's completely empty because of course it is.
- Also, same said friends and co-workers seem to think it's my calling in life to be a YA author so, yeah I can try that too. I figure I can start out by adapting my Liv and Maddie script into a fanfic (yes I wrote one of those).
- Also we have a Tumblr now (well, I have a Tumblr, Mike's kinda on his on on that, sorry). Don't worry we're not fully migrating over there anytime..ever. In fact I'm just going to repost things there for more follows/readership and readership interaction, all content will be first and foremost posted here on this Blogspot. More than anything I'm just having a Tumblr to interact with one of my most favorite Tumblr blogs, Analyzing Taylor (yes I'm also a Tay-Tay head, I'm sure this surprises exactly no one).
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