This is somewhat a companion post to our 100th post/1 year anniversary special post right below, since we talk about the state of tween/teen entertainment, particularly of the live-action variety, and it's given me thought about how tween/teen entertainment has evolved not over the years but decades, well predating even the Saturday Morning Half-Hour Animated Toy Commercial phenomenon. Mike and I talked about how sometimes the best shows have a subversive or rough edge to them, and how for the most part corporate types have put the kabosh on that today in favor of what they think is the sure bet of an established formula of slapstick humor and especially cheaply-delivered puns. But before there was a Suite Life of Zack and Cody, or That's So Raven or Even Stevens, before even Dan Schneider took an unexpected career turn from nerdy, early IT specialist to actor on Head of the Class and then later Hollywood television producer big-shot, some authors started making waves with some children's books they had written and would change the literary landscape since (and more).
The entire idea of children's (not tween or teen, those are very recent phenomenons) entertainment is a pretty new idea - consider that Grimm's fairy tales, considered the ur-anthology of children's stories, is roughly about as old as the stories of who I consider to be the first true young adult novelist, Charles Dickens. Not necessarily the fairy tales themselves (indeed some of them are truly ancient by the literal definition of the term - yet others, like the modern interpretation of Snow White codified by the Grimm brothers, was practically brand-new when they compiled their collection) but the whole concept of packaging them specifically for children. If you think about that, you'll realize it's not that old at all. Yes, consider that what's considered the first English novel, Robinson Crusoe, isn't much older still (around the middle of the 18th century) but consider that while the novel might be a relatively new concept, of course the concept of written entertainment isn't, but prior to the early 19th century there wasn't much of a distinction between entertainment specifically aimed at children and adult entertainment (not that kind of adult entertainment, get your mind out of the gutter! Lame punchline, I know). Those fairy tales the Grimm brothers collected were originally meant for the benefit of adults as much, or even more than what they were for children. Beyond simple nursery lines and stuff of that ilk, there wasn't much to go on for children to intellectually entertain and pre-occupy themselves with. Nor was there much reason to - children were basically pint-sized labor to exploit, if not by Dickensian overseers and ultra-capitalists then by their own families. A family farm's only source of labor was its own family, and if you needed more farm hands, typically you had to expand the family. Fun for mom and pop in the short term, but you get the picture that there wasn't much to life other than work, work, work (and this is why I tell people the past always sucks).
The Industrial Revolution certainly saw its share of child exploitation (that went on for decades, deep into the 20th century) but it started to reach a point, already by the turn of the 20th century, that mechanization and improvements in production efficiency meant more time was being freed up, and in the process several concepts began to rise - the whole concept of leisure time as well as public education. These concepts were hardly new (remember, Benjamin Franklin helped to establish public school systems in his native Philadelphia) nor were they exclusive for the aristocracy, but up until this point they might as well have been. What was a new concept was the government enforcing a new policy of compulsory education for all child citizens - yeah we may have groaned about it when we were forcibly marched off to watch our free time get gleefully publicly executed but whether our 9-year-old selves like it or not it was one of the most important and transformative policies in American history. It's a big reason why for both men and women entry-level jobs now consist of data entry, low-level management and even blogging instead of fence-pulling, ditch digging or military service come peace time or the hell of war for men and the family kitchen and nothing else for women.
With this new concept of compulsory public education, there was now a need for material these children could actually read so that, you know, they could learn to read. So for the next sixty years or so most children's books were written with the goal of being suitable for school use - which meant promoting moral upstanding and reverence to authority, and all those other classic values. Needless to say subversiveness was actively discouraged.
The end result is what you're no doubt familiar with - ultra-soft stories that would easily be at home on Disney Channel in the 80s (and indeed were) or could serve as the inspiration for after-school specials (and I'm willing to bet in some cases indeed were, too). At its best, a skilled author could still turn it into literature capable of standing the test of time, as Beverly Clearly who is probably the peak of this style of children's narrative. But often times it ended up being as cheesy and as forced as the humor on Bunk'd or Game Shakers, like original Full House on Zyloft, and consequently utterly forgettable as soon as the school year was over, if not that week, or the kind of dreck children would only read because they're literally being forced to read it.
Parallel was a very small, niche market of "dark" novels aimed at kids, but they were few and far between and for the most part just glorified Grimm ripoffs. They didn't have much in terms of foul language or overt sexualization, unless you consider young girls the age of the target demo meeting gruesome but still Disneyfied and moralized ends arousing (and, well, they kind of were meant to be - yeah it was a time of closeted sexual deviancy here). In fact, as "clean" as they would be to modern sensibilities they were pretty much treated as porn aimed at kids. We're talking deep underground for the time here, the stuff that near-literally gave birth to the phrase won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?! But, again, this stuff was about as common and mainstream as the Tijuana Bible which is to say not at all.
Beyond that, all you had were "adult books." Even books that are now considered classics for high school or middle school students to read, and books that would solidly be classified as young adult if they were published today - A Separate Peace, the entirety of Dickens' works, etc. - were marketed and sold for adults, with the full intention of adults reading them with the occasional enterprising and bright "advanced" student.
Then one day this guy named Robert Cormier wrote a book that was more or less an allegory about how he was pissed off that his son's school made his son sell stupid chocolates and stuff. It centered around personality cults and featured fist fights - stuff that was pretty heavy for kiddie fair. But because it focused on kids in high school, his publisher made the fateful decision to publish it as a young adult novel.
And even prior to that (about seven years or so in the late 60s), this woman named S. E. Hinton published a book called The Outsiders, about a group of high school kids who felt like a bunch of...well, outsiders. And then Judy Blume was writing feminism in young adult novel form.
But that didn't necessarily stop the flood of "soft" young adult fiction, a trend which in fact hasn't stopped and continues to this day. But I do think even the most mainstream of young adult novels have ended up becoming vastly improved product thanks to the market willing to distribute darker, gritter stuff with a very sharp, hard edge to it. It's not uncommon for young adult stories to tackle subjects of loss, bitter love gone wrong, and even disease and warfare in a very earnest fashion. You only have to look at J-Law's and Shaliene Woodley's careers to see how well this is going even still.
In fact it can even go completely the other way and, as with Family Guy, it starts to seriously lose its edge as it's adopted into the mainstream. I for one can tell you I've been sick and tired of the glut of Twilight and Hunger Games clones that still circulate the market, at least on the used book market and library circuits. Since the literature market tends to be cyclic based on genres, and it tends to be this because the people running the literature markets have a tendency to view the demos as morons, the young adult market is somewhat lost now, or at least more lost than it was in say 2013 or 2014. Between you and me, I'm hoping for both stronger realistic fiction in young adult fiction, as well as science fiction that borrows more from said realistic fiction and is less reliant on shopworn, done-to-death sci-fi tropes, especially both those that were "pioneered" during the heydey of Hunger Games only to be driven straight into the ground and those that sci-fi writers have relied on since Isaac Asimov was an unknown short story author.
In fact, the young adult book market parallels the anime market in a lot of ways. You have a lot of groundbreaking stuff that takes itself seriously, a lot of schlock that takes itself way too seriously, and a lot of mainstream stuff that is more than happy to let Fighty McNot-Goku call each of his attacks in very awkward fashion thanks to bad localization while the background blurs into monochrome but with speed streaks!
My point being, is that I think there is room for the same hard-edged approach that's popular in young adult literature and anime in the live-action tween/teen sitcom (or drama) market, it's just that, again, the corporate willingness isn't there. The closest examples I can think off the top of my head, at least as far as Disney Channel and Nickelodeon are specifically concerned, are all imported from Canada or Australia - My Babysitter's a Vampire, Backstage, even Make it Pop! and yes even The Other Kingdom and Mako Mermaids. MBAV, in fact, is somewhat often cited (including by me) as a single-cam series that successfully blends serious moments with the type of slapstick humor Disney Channel and Nick really loves (I've already reviewed the movie a year ago and you can just read that to tell how much of an MBAV fanboy I am). And again, if foreign markets are more willing to do it, I'm willing to bet someone who might get on, say, YouTube Red might be willing to try it out as well.
Other Thoughts
- I couldn't think of a place to put it in the main body, but speaking of that hard, raw edge, the more I think about it the more I think of an increasingly obscure but big-in-the-day series called The Clique, that ran from the very early 2000s (just in time to exist in a post-9/11 world, pretty much) all the way to 2011 or so and ended up being, altogether, 24 books (not counting the graphic novel and activity books - or the made-for-DVD movie starring Bridgit Mendler and her pal Samantha Boscarino - yeah this is pretty much where they got their start - and the Nintendo DS game). The Moral Guardians-That-Be derided it for being a manual on how to be a female bully, and they weren't exactly the most well-written books ever (you can go to the TVTropes page for greater details, but there were inconsistencies and just bad writing throughout). But it still had that very hard edge for this type of thing - a very honest look at bullying, from the perspective from the bully no less, and for an entire book series, so I can respect why it became so popular when it was.
- Fun fact: this blog was originally intended as a YA novel review blog but I kinda gave up on that after seeing that literally everyone else and their siblings do it already. So empty and unused this blog sat until Christian and Sean came along and inspired me to review other Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows instead.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
100th Post/1 Year Anniversary Special: Why This Stuff Matters
Hey guys, guess what, this post marks the 100th post on this blog! And guess also what else - on this day, September 21, one year ago, in 2015, I wrote this blog's very first post! 100 posts and 1 year...didn't exactly fly by, and several times, even more than Christian and Sean at GirlMeetsWorldReviewd, I seriously contemplated if it was more worthwhile to simply quit. I very quickly discovered the folly of trying to review every single new episode on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon - at its peak time I was devoting 15 hours to a single week on this blog, which was completely unsustainable for something that I don't get paid a dime for. Then I decided to venture out and review other shows - and some jackass decided to use the opportunity to troll me by posting a link to a bunch of rabid fanboys but that's neither here nor there. And I did learn several valuable lessons in the meantime. I learned how to prioritize reviews so that we review only the shows really the most worthwhile to review (Bunk'd and Game Shakers being so awful it's not even worth watching to begin with, while other shows like Henry Danger were, while not necessarily bad, were so formulaic that reviewing each episode just got tedious on its own anyway, with School of Rock falling somewhere in-between). I also learned not to let the opinions of rabid fanboys get to me, and that pathetic trolls will just continue to be uneducated pathetic trolls that will nonetheless scare me if only because they have real voting power (we'll see how well that goes in a few weeks) nor let it dampen my desire to review more "grown-up" shows (though given most of the ones we've reviewed, it's something I'm not very tempted to do again). But most of all I was lucky enough to have Mike join this blog, and looking through and doing a rough estimate he's done about 48%-51% of the total word count on this blog (if it's towards the lower end it's only because of my tendency to go on long-winded rants) and about 50%-52% of the actual post count on this blog, which really should be enough to tell the whole story. Double-team blogging makes a huge difference and Mike absolutely is the reason why this blog still exists a year later and why we can celebrate a 100th post at the same time, or for that matter at all. So give a big round of applause for him, uh, virtually I guess.
So given that 100 posts and a 1 year anniversary is kind of inevitable, I've naturally had some time to think about what to do for a celebration post. I don't want to just run through raw statics of say the blog itself (because that's honestly just kind of lame) or through the various shows and compile what are the best seasons and who has what Episode MVP award the most like Christian and Sean do because that's something I'd rather do near the end of the calendar year, during the dead of winter, when I have nothing else to do (especially since we do many more shows that's going to be an ass-load of time spent doing that). So I think I'll go ahead and do something different, something I've been wanting to do anyway*: address why this whole kiddie-show thing is important and why it matters, and why it's important for more than just trying to virtually baby-sit attention deficited little punks or for grown-ass men who are also deviants.
When I was doing research for this (yes I actually did research for this, see the * below) I ran across a TIME article about how they do children's television in the Netherlands. It's a very different landscape over there, and if anything it actually has a closer resemblance to some YouTube channels out there (and not even necessarily YouTube Red) than it does traditional broadcast or especially cable children's TV over here. A lot of it is creator-driven and along those lines involves much greater participation from people in the actual audience demo than here, where it's pretty obvious grown-ass corporate men and women are calling all the creative shots. A lot of it ends up being education-driven too, but not necessarily in the way old fart Millennials like me are still accustomed to thinking with incredibly boring and dry programs that are trying to be virtual classroom replacements - much of it's about very practical matters or even a bit more slice-of-life (i.e. reality show-ish) than education TV advocates here in the 'States might appreciate. Come to think of it, maybe there is a bigger resemblance to U.S. children's broadcast TV than I give it credit for, at least since early this decade. If you've ever seen the stuff they show on CBS during the prime-time children's hours Saturday morning you know what I'm talking about - at least two of the programs are simply docu-reality format period (following pet doctors/specialists), two of them are interview/news snippet type of things, and there's even a completely scripted, single-camera format show like what you might find on Sprout! (The Investigators, or something like that - really clever title I know, P.S. it's about investigating mail fraud, oooOooooOOOOooohhhHHhhhhhh). This is pretty much the entirety of the broadcast children's television landscape now, a very different picture from the late 90s and even into the middle 2000s when younger-demo anime absolutely dominated Saturday morning, and before that when broadcast was flooded with domestic animation of various genres and quality Saturday and Sunday morning and weekday afternoons (you can do a Google search and read about Disney Afternoon and pretend you're in a virtual museum!)
And then we come to the traditional children's cable juggernauts - Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network, with the former two cases being a mere shadow of their past glory. The latest episode of Girl Meets World garnered 1.4 million viewers (and perhaps garnered really is the right word for once given that number) and the latest DCOM aired so far, Adventures in Babysitting, despite being actually pretty good ended up with the lowest viewership for a DCOM in nearly a decade (second-worst since about the time Disney Channel became a basic cable network). Nickelodeon, until recently, was getting its butt thoroughly whooped by Disney Channel ever since iCarly left with 2013 and 2014 being particularly lopsided years, though lately things aren't looking so bad as Disney Channel's simply sunk to their level. Meanwhile, Cartoon Network manages to show some meaningful gains, especially in a demo Nickelodeon and Disney Channel hasn't tried to flirt with much (though they've certainly made effort to) - adults, both older Millennial and even younger X-Gen males and females.
So what's happening? I think it boils down to two things - both Disney Channel and Nickelodeon refuse to be flexible outside of their traditional narrative/content generation of sticking to traditional, corporate-driven sitcom and show formulas, and (very much related) refusing to be flexible outside of traditional network distribution and viewership models. I'll explore that in a future post but right now I just want to talk about where the future is headed, and how it relates to why stories for young children matter.
I read a book recently, I forgot which one exactly, but it had a great quote (I don't remember if it was in the actual narrative or in the acknowledgements) about why people like telling stories from a child's perspective. It was written from the perspective of a young teenaged girl (which is why I think it might actually be in the narrative proper) about how children and teens like telling stories and being involved in stories because it makes them feel like they matter. And trust me, it can be tough to feel like you matter when you're a teen, especially given what teens put themselves through (much of it trying to feel like they matter). Extra-curricular activities, social activities, etc. I think putting these thoughts and experiences down through some means - whether through pen, canvas, video, or whatever means happens to be convenient for that teen to express through - helps teens mentally sort through this stuff and figure out what kind of path they need to go down. And of course, it helps to share these experiences with other teens so that they can be inspired to see what kind of path lays ahead of them, too.
I've partially done that on this very blog myself, although only in the context of the mission statement of this blog - I've shared my experiences dealing with cancer at a very young age for cancer (not like a St. Jude's Hospital or Shriners ad but you still get the picture) and how that got me into, of all things, Jessie, and from there the rest of Disney Channel, Nickelodeon and ultimately this blog in the first place. I've shared why of all things Jessie ended up being the specific gateway to this kiddie stuff as cancer refuge in the first place, because Jessie herself (Debby Ryan) ended up reminding me of my ex fiancee who dumped me around the same time when I first discovered I had cancer - which, come to think of it, I guess is kind of odd I find comfort in the one thing that more reminds me of the bad stuff I went through, especially since the resemblance they had to each other started becoming too real when Debby got arrested for DUI.
But for whatever reason, this stuff matters if evidenced by nothing else through how often it comes up - through teens making videos on YouTube or putting up DeviantArt profiles and what not. And, at a certain point, by how much they used to connect and identify with these shows. Jessie had really high ratings until somewhere in Season 3 and especially in Season 4 where the show basically became Suite Life Minus Zack and Cody. Girl Meets World had success early on based on the promise of being "real," relatable and being something the demo can connect to, but I think it falters because it tried too hard, relied too much on old-fashioned narrative techniques and tropes (that, again, corporate types would make bigger assumptions on than actual kids) and ultimately didn't feel genuine enough and too cynically "corporate." Wizards of Waverly Place (which when I watch it now is actually kind of awful in places but that doesn't make Alex any less relatable), the Suite Life series, That's So Raven and Even Stevens are long gone. I think the only shows that really relates and resonates is Liv and Maddie and maybe Girl Meets World if nostalgists keep telling themselves that (sorry Christian and Sean) and both of those shows are absolutely on their last legs (I wouldn't be surprised if Girl Meets World is renewed for a fourth season - but at this point I'd be less surprised if they just call it a run and be done with it come February '17 apparently). Maybe maybe Best Friends Whenever though I think that show mostly survives on humor if it's even surviving at all. K.C. Undercover absolutely survives on Zendaya's star power (it's really strong star power) and a fantastic cast build around her but the plotlines by themselves actually really suck. Other than The Thundermans, Nickelodeon seems quick to cancel every show that comes by with even a modicum of charm (though I'll take this back if School of Rock also fails to survive into its sophomore season) and keep awful crap like Game Shakers (though it also seems to be trying out dirt-cheap docu-reality shows, especially Chrashletes of which the biggest [practically only real] expense is seeing how much it'll take Gronk to actually host a Nickelodeon show).
I absolutely believe that, eventually at least, Disney Channel and Nickelodeon will cease to exist in their current forms. Nickelodeon might evolve to become an alternative-outlet provider, but given the Disney corporate structure and how they've already expanded into a few potential alternative-distribution outlets as it is (plus "Channel" is becoming increasingly an anachronism) I expect Disney Channel to eventually simply fold. Maybe they'll just consolidate everything into an uber-Disney app and live-action shows (if they even still do them at that point) won't necessarily be so dramatically segregated from, say, being able to watch Pixar movies through said app.
I also read the Cracked.com article written by none other than Mara Wilson herself about what it's like to be a child actor (spoiler alert: it sucks) and her conclusion that one day we'd go so far as to completely replace child actors with CGI. I don't quite agree with her assessment - CGI is still a bit buggy when it comes to completely replicating and replacing a person out of Uncanny Valley territory - but I also at least partially disagree with the sentiment that being a child actor is always a bad thing (though the Debby DUI situation has me thinking about siding more closely with Mara). But as I said earlier, children and teens will find ways to express themselves, and acting very much is a part of that.
...but I do think in the future, the very near future in fact, child actors will increasingly be their own agents, their own producers, directors, and content creators as they more and more realize their dreams single-handedly through outlets like YouTube, maybe even YouTube Red. Having teens become YouTube Red partners, having them become cultural icons on their own ala people from PewDiePie to Austin Mahone and Justin Bieber, and having them be cable of producing scripted content (especially if a few enterprising ones try the single-cam approach - and some will) especially could be a killing blow against Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. It's something I have great hope for, because while user-created content is nice and it's steadily evolving, having a polished product is nice for kids to be entertained by - and is a powerful source of inspiration when it's made by kids practically exactly like them.
Plus, it would suck if kids' entertainment just devolves into endless faux-reality entertainment or prank-based content. Those are all fine and dandy actually, but kids do need stories of actual substance to grow their narrative boundaries, for the same reason why video games and YouTube itself needs to be broken up by proper reading and schooling.
Well, I think that just about wraps it up. I'll invite Mike over to add any thoughts, he's more than deserved it. Like I opened up with this blog really is half his anyway, in more ways than one (including literal!)
Christian and Sean are well-respected here.......but yeah, shots fired.
I want to thank you so much for the introduction and the kind words. Honestly, I really didn't think I was doing that much work on the blog until you pointed it out today. It's great how our 100th post is on the one-year anniversary of the blog's inception so we really were blessed today. I'm trying not to get emotional, but damn. Unknown, you're really going to bring me to tears. Reading all that just made me realize how grateful I am to be here, getting the opportunity to write and people can actually read and respond to it. I guess I'll share my own story of how I ended up here.
For as long as I can remember, I've been a fan of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. My allegiance to either network swayed at times. 2007-2009 was definitely when Disney dominated due to High School Musical, Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, Demi, and Selena. Yeah, those were good times. But they all walked out at some point and Nickelodeon really had the market cornered with iCarly, Victorious, and Big Time Rush. It's hard to believe, but at one time, all three of these shows were good at the same time. I'm not joking. Then Big Time Rush became the only show left with quality, and it ended.......with an actual series finale. I'll never forgive Nick for treating Victorious like it did.
So yeah, eventually, both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel went through a downward spiral. There was a time where I could tune into both networks and watch multiple shows apiece. Those days are long gone. I still want to review one episode from each live-action show out, but I haven't started yet. I still have time, but someone remind me on New Year's Eve Eve (for you slow people out there, December 30) to get to it if I haven't already.
At this point, neither network has anything in the same realm as the shows I watched growing up. I know I sound like an old head looking at it through rose-colored glasses, and 48% of my frustration comes from that, but the other 52% comes from the fact that my generation's shows were simply better. When I was eight years old, I had Drake & Josh and Zoey 101. Ten years later, eight-year-olds have Henry Danger and Game Shakers. Do you see how far the fall from grace has been for kids live-action shows? I'm keeping animation out of this, because as far as I know, the 2010s has been a damn good decade for kids cartoons.
When Unknown first brought up the blog, I just knew I had to jump at the opportunity before the competition beat me to it. I had no competition, but that's besides the point. I saw that Unknown shared similar sensibilities when it came to how we viewed Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, and the partnership has been like yin and yang from the beginning. I seriously can't remember a time where we disagreed with each other. Well, except for Invisible Sister, and I'll still fight him on that because that movie was surprisingly good. Anyway, this blog has been something I never truly appreciated until now, at least as much as I do in this moment. Unknown's put a lot of hard work into maintaining this blog even when it seemed unnecessary, and the fact that he's still here lets me know that I can trust him to keep things going. Rome wasn't built in a day.
There's one thing my partner said that hit me like a ton of bricks. Teenagers and children like to write their own stories because they feel like they don't have a voice, like they're just around to deal with growing pains until they become adults and settle into themselves. I never looked at it like that. I have an adult cartoon where pretty much all of the characters are kids, and that was a conscious choice because I didn't want the adults around. I just wanted my show to focus on the kids, and the characters remind me of a time when things were easier, when you didn't have to worry every single day about your future or what the news said because you were busy in your own world. Let's face it. Corporate people can't understand this. They're not focused on quality control, they just want shows that they think will be appealing. It reminds me of when Nicktoons first became a thing in 1991. Several different shows were developed during this time, and many were rejected because the company thought they were too formulaic.
Think about that. There was a time when Nickelodeon was worried about quality control, and didn't want generic programming because they knew kids deserved better. Doug, Rugrats, and Ren & Stimpy may seem pretty standard 25 years later, but when they first came out, they stood for something. They stood for Nickelodeon's attempt to stand out from the pack and air something unique, something kids had never seen before. Disney Channel was like that at one point too, just wanting to give kids something relatable and soulful. In 2016, soul is dead. Not just the genre, but this way of thinking by network executives. If I want subversive animation that actually stands out from the pack and gives me something to remember years from now, I just watch American Dad or Rick & Morty.
The only problem is, these shows are made for adults and teenagers who really want to laugh. Kids don't have an American Dad or a Rick & Morty or a classic Simpsons, do they? A Boondocks, seasons 1-3? Family Guy, seasons 1-5? South Park? The last kids show to really shake up the game like that was SpongeBob. Yeah, I said it. SpongeBob is seriously one of the best comedies I have ever watched, and the early seasons have aged like imported wine. It set out to do nothing but write interesting stories, tell clever and snappy jokes, give kids something sophisticated and silly but endearing altogether. It was just a straight comedy show.
I don't even see an early SpongeBob in 2016. When is that going to change?
Back to the main point. There really aren't that many good kids live-action shows at the end of the day. The Thundermans is good for what it is, but most people probably aren't even aware that it exists. Girl Meets World has been dripping with potential since the first episode, but at this rate, it's going to take years before it ever peaks, much less comes close to touching its predecessor. These shows can't be mentioned in the same breath as Drake & Josh and That's So Raven. Those shows were never high concept art, but they did what a lot of kids shows can't do today: Be entertaining. Seriously, is any kids live-action show right now even worthy of being compared to Drake & Josh in terms of comedy? That kind of stuff is beyond creators today, even Dan Schneider himself.
Okay, I'm going on a rant here. Unknown, you want the mic back?
Dang, I actually like what you wrote better than what I wrote! Of course that's a big reason why I really like having you here and why I specifically wanted to make sure to thank you in the very first paragraph. Needless to say, I really do thank you for your contribution to this blog so far. Without it this would be Post #24 or something, if it'd been kept updated at all.
Oh yeah, and I want to make it clear, Christian and Sean are well-respected here. I'm sure they don't mind the slight nab at them :) At least I thought it was a light enough jab....
Yeah, we can talk about the glory days of kidcoms and the greats especially. Like Drake & Josh. I saw my very first episode of Drake & Josh in 2012 (needless to say I was a late-comer, for reasons I already partially explained here and further explained in earlier posts) but that was back when they decided to run a bunch of episodes every day in October randomly for some reason, so while I didn't see the whole series I saw a very big chunk of it (at least a majority by episode count). Even back then, I didn't think it was just one of the greatest kidcoms ever, but one of the greatest sitcoms period. I mean it. It amazes me that I can go back and watch Drake & Josh, or even iCarly and Victorious on its best of days, and then look at Henry Danger on its worst of days or Sam & Cat and Game Shakers on...pretty much any given episode and it amazes me that the same guy did all this?!?! Big Time Rush was another really good one, but excepting Thundermans I can't remember a good non-Schneider live-action show that's managed to last; Haunted Hathaways was the closest at two seasons and there was a point where that show started to almost be nothing but "let's endlessly slime poor Amber Montana (Frank now?) and make a show of that," or Bella and the Bulldogs which on average was a much better show but Brec Bassinger herself recently tweeted the show is done. As we've discussed before 100 Things to Do Before High School is the best of them all but with ultra-low ratings (even lower than Disney Channel now), no word on renewal and with Isabel Monier now having a huge part in the upcoming Transformers movie it's safe to say it's done too. Hopefully at least that show was instrumental in getting her that huge movie role get, and will help her rise to stardom. Hell even Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn has moments and I think I heard that show got Season 3, so I guess I can name that. Legendary Dudas was surprisingly good but Nick has a very poor track record for single-cam and charming shows as of late, and as I've previously stated I've come to the conclusion that School of Rock is just slightly better-smelling garbage than Game Shakers. And as much as I complain about the ending of Jessie it at least got a half-assed ending. Even How to Rock (remember that show?) got a more complete ending than that.
Of course Drake Bell and especially Josh Peck were great actors too. I really liked Grandfathered, which I reviewed a few months back (the episode guest starring Drake Bell no less, making it a mini-reunion). Was it Drake & Josh good? Hell no. I really shouldn't even insult, say, Fraser or Newsradio by even mentioning them in the same paragraph. But it's at least as good as the single-cam sitcoms that actually manage to get renewed on ABC for example. In fact I'll eagerly go on record to call it better than the last five or so seasons of Modern Family or the last few of The Middle. And today's adult multi-cams? Yeah, forget The Big Bang Theory, you'll have to go back to that era of Fraser and Newsradio to find multi-cams really worth remembering anymore. Or at least How I Met Your Mother even though I haven't seen a full episode ever (I saw 15 seconds of the episode with the Korean Elvis and then changed it back to Girl Meets World. True story).
It really surprises me how much creative control Nick let the actual show creators have back in the day, especially when you compare it to now. I've seen some Salute Your Shorts through The Splat and...honestly it's a bit too cynical for my tastes but I suppose that's the point. Hey Dude is a little hokey, not too far off from Saved by the Bell on a dude ranch (again I suppose it's the point) but it's my kind of hokey (fun fact: one of the writers of that show was Graham Yost...who'd later go on to do the decidedly not-kiddie Boomtown, Justified [which I've mentioned here and there] and The Americans). I love CatDog, and Ren and Stimpy was one of those shows that has lost its edge today precisely because it's been so revolutionary, everybody else just had no choice but to catch up with it. It's funny you mention American Dad! as being subversive because I think it's suffered that exact same fate even before it hit the air thanks to Family Guy - that show along with old-school Simpsons had made subversive TV so mainstream, you have to wonder is it really subversive anymore if it is mainstream? Rick and Morty isn't an aberration, it's specifically what the demo flat-out expects (I mean, the very network it's on is called [adult swim]).
We're living in a golden age of entertainment, but again, precisely because of that entertainment can be frustrating. What used to be subversive and edgy is now referenced on a billion other TV shows, if not meta-self-referenced on those original shows now (yeah I'm looking at Family Guy again and even South Park). We demand more from our shows now, and rightly so, but not everyone's delivering. Even the insanely popular shows like TBBT are middling, average, milquetoast (there's an SAT word for you). And especially when it comes to kid's entertainment, it really does end up getting into an animation vs. live-action divide, for two related reasons: because Simpsons/Family Guy happened, and because a live-action equivalent of those shows didn't. Both of those shows used the freedom of their medium to expand far beyond what sitcoms up to that point bothered to try (there's an ancient interview out there where Seth MacFarlane pointed out the episode where the Griffin's house gets "fumigated" as a specific example, and how having a bunch of SWAT guys shoot up bugs in a house would necessitate a movie budget in live-action but it doesn't change the budget squat on an animated show) and they were just so jarring yet so good and entertaining that, like Ren and Stimpy before and like South Park, they've forced a change in how people think of animation. And because people still think of animation as largely being the domain of children (the "Animation Age Ghetto" that TVTropes talks about) well...ironically enough perhaps for that reason it forced all that innovation to trickle down to children's animation as well (that and the influence of anime in the 90s, with how in Japan animation really is treated as an alternative to live-action and not simply just something for kids). You have things like Regular Show and Steven Universe and My Little Pony. Who would've thought that My Little Pony would have Old-Fart Millennial/X-Gen appeal?
I think there are several problems with live-action shows now, at least as they exist on the network. For starters it's very hard for live-action to get that Family Guy/Simpsons watershed moment, because in order for it to really be transformative and subversive it has to be aimed at kids specifically, and few people on corporate-run television want to risk that. Up to this point and counting, whenever someone had an idea for a really subversive live-action show, even when starring kids, it just automatically got shoved into the adult demo. There's no preconception that it has to be for kids no matter what like animation. There's nothing to be subversive against, in other words.
And then there's the thing about that whole corporate mindset Mike mentioned. They don't want to rely on creativity or subversiveness, they want to rely on "proven" formula. That's not to say they didn't allow for their shows to have a bit of a slant and an edge, at least to an extent. iCarly was very edgy, especially at the beginning. iCarly very much tackled head-on the types of antagonists tweens and teens are sick and tired of all day but are very politically incorrect to acknowledge openly - teachers, authority and even corporate cynicism itself (iTake on Dingo, which was easy since it was shots at the competition, but still). Yes, Disney Channel and Nick still does it all the time but not with the relatively hard edge iCarly did. On a typical Disney Channel or Nick show today evil teachers were buttheads, but on iCarly they were outright assholes. On a typical Disney Channel or Nick show today, teachers were immovable obstacles and kids had to learn to deal with them and often with bad consequences (granted, it's a valuable lesson but meh) but on iCarly asshole teachers actually got their just desserts. Compare iHave my Principals or iGet Detention to the latest Gamer's Guide episode, The Long Weekend, and you can tell the difference between comic relief teachers (granted, Lauren Pritchard is pretty much hilarious in everything and it's Dana Friggin' Snyder) and actual asshole teachers who get their just desserts in the end. Both of those iCarly episodes were immensely satisfying.
Victorious had a hard edge too (Jade was pretty much Hard Edge in teen girl form suitable for kidcom sensibilities). The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That's So Raven, Wizards of Waverly Place all had a hard edge (again, Alex was walking teen girl wizard Hard Edge). Even Jessie to an extent, with some of the more "under the radar" humor it had, but it also tried to let the humor work with the plot instead of devolving into a slapstick and pun delivery device. It's interesting since we mention creative control too, since the actress who starred in the show herself supposedly put in a lot of input into the beginning. I think you can tell later on she either started to lose that input one way or another or just stopped caring - I dunno, maybe around the same time and maybe for the same reasons as she decided it was a good idea to start driving around in a brand-new $50,000 Audi and drink booze at the same time.
I think this is why in the near future the best content, including and especially live-action, will be from tweens and teens themselves. I don't think live-action will ever die, but I think i twill be the domain of creator-generators or whatever you want to call them because, while there are tweens and teens who certainly do animation routinely, live-action will always be easier and more convenient to some degree. They'll find corporate sponsors and partners through YouTube Red, or even Hulu or Netflix, or independent advertisers - or they won't, but they'll still put it up on YouTube anyway. PewDiePie, anyone? Or for that matter Angry Video Game Nerd, EgoRaptor (wow I am old) and literally every single Vine and Instagram celeb. Kids know how to be subversive - I did some teaching, I know - and they will put it into their works. It's just a question of, how well-polished is that final product going to be, and how long and who and in what form will it arrive?
And since Mike mentioned that he has an adult show starring kids, I've got a few ideas kicking around, but I don't really mention them much because my ideas come and go as they please so I don't find much of a point in going in-depth with something that has yet to have any permanence even within my own mind, and because actually I think it's bad luck to share ideas before they're seriously being worked on. But one of those ideas - more of a general concept anyway - is actually trying to goad parents into making their own children into stars, at least to a limited degree. All of the tasks necessary to make a live-action film are very useful life skills, in fact thanks to social media now moreso than ever. Whether that's acting, scriptwriting, shot composition, editing, or directing.
Also, if you want to talk about shots fired, Steven Universe is way better than Adventure Time (at least the two episode of Steven Universe I actually bothered to watch) and I actually like new Spongebob better than old standard-def era Spongebob, and Invisible Sister is still terribad *runs*.
* Oh yeah, I forgot to explain this the first time around. That whole "we're now two blogs!" thing which, as you've gathered, is kind of obsolete now. The idea was that I was trying to launch a blog/newsite more professionally-polished and geared towards kidcom and tween/teen entertainment news and editorials, complete with more polished, journal-quality essays on the past, present and future state of tween/teen entertainment (this post you're reading had its genesis from me kicking around what was supposed to be the inaugural post/essay). I even managed to convince someone to help me with Gawker - yes, that Gawker - to help host a dedicated URL on their Kinja posting platform (to make it clear, it would have had absolutely no affiliation with Gawker beyond simply using their software, and just like with this blog I would've been paid absolutely bupkis on it). Then two things happened - the first, of course, was that Gawker got absolutely wrecked as a result of the Hulk Hogan defamation lawsuit (I really don't want to get into the particulars, you can Google it or better yet go to Gawker.com and read from their perspective). And the second was the simple realization that there isn't much of a market for tween and teen entertainment, especially live-action entertainment, to be critically analyzed, which means the chances of launching the aborted blog into a bigger feature with the possibility of paid advertisers was quickly approaching zero. Several blogs already critically examine animation for all ages, in part or in whole, but when you start applying the same to live-action tween/teen entertainment people are extremely dismissive at best, or they start throwing accusations (like in the comments section) that you're only doing this because you have a serious literal hard-on for and enjoy having wet dreams about Selena Gomez or Zendaya (never mind that both of those actresses are well into being legal-aged, although that still doesn't excuse being creepy about them - or accusing others of doing so). Part of that is because of that whole thing Mike and I spent this entire post talking about - there's no subversive or hard edge to this medium of tween/teen entertainment anymore, so it immediately gets dismissed. Either way, it looks like this blog will continue to be the most worthwhile avenue for me doing this thing.
So given that 100 posts and a 1 year anniversary is kind of inevitable, I've naturally had some time to think about what to do for a celebration post. I don't want to just run through raw statics of say the blog itself (because that's honestly just kind of lame) or through the various shows and compile what are the best seasons and who has what Episode MVP award the most like Christian and Sean do because that's something I'd rather do near the end of the calendar year, during the dead of winter, when I have nothing else to do (especially since we do many more shows that's going to be an ass-load of time spent doing that). So I think I'll go ahead and do something different, something I've been wanting to do anyway*: address why this whole kiddie-show thing is important and why it matters, and why it's important for more than just trying to virtually baby-sit attention deficited little punks or for grown-ass men who are also deviants.
When I was doing research for this (yes I actually did research for this, see the * below) I ran across a TIME article about how they do children's television in the Netherlands. It's a very different landscape over there, and if anything it actually has a closer resemblance to some YouTube channels out there (and not even necessarily YouTube Red) than it does traditional broadcast or especially cable children's TV over here. A lot of it is creator-driven and along those lines involves much greater participation from people in the actual audience demo than here, where it's pretty obvious grown-ass corporate men and women are calling all the creative shots. A lot of it ends up being education-driven too, but not necessarily in the way old fart Millennials like me are still accustomed to thinking with incredibly boring and dry programs that are trying to be virtual classroom replacements - much of it's about very practical matters or even a bit more slice-of-life (i.e. reality show-ish) than education TV advocates here in the 'States might appreciate. Come to think of it, maybe there is a bigger resemblance to U.S. children's broadcast TV than I give it credit for, at least since early this decade. If you've ever seen the stuff they show on CBS during the prime-time children's hours Saturday morning you know what I'm talking about - at least two of the programs are simply docu-reality format period (following pet doctors/specialists), two of them are interview/news snippet type of things, and there's even a completely scripted, single-camera format show like what you might find on Sprout! (The Investigators, or something like that - really clever title I know, P.S. it's about investigating mail fraud, oooOooooOOOOooohhhHHhhhhhh). This is pretty much the entirety of the broadcast children's television landscape now, a very different picture from the late 90s and even into the middle 2000s when younger-demo anime absolutely dominated Saturday morning, and before that when broadcast was flooded with domestic animation of various genres and quality Saturday and Sunday morning and weekday afternoons (you can do a Google search and read about Disney Afternoon and pretend you're in a virtual museum!)
And then we come to the traditional children's cable juggernauts - Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network, with the former two cases being a mere shadow of their past glory. The latest episode of Girl Meets World garnered 1.4 million viewers (and perhaps garnered really is the right word for once given that number) and the latest DCOM aired so far, Adventures in Babysitting, despite being actually pretty good ended up with the lowest viewership for a DCOM in nearly a decade (second-worst since about the time Disney Channel became a basic cable network). Nickelodeon, until recently, was getting its butt thoroughly whooped by Disney Channel ever since iCarly left with 2013 and 2014 being particularly lopsided years, though lately things aren't looking so bad as Disney Channel's simply sunk to their level. Meanwhile, Cartoon Network manages to show some meaningful gains, especially in a demo Nickelodeon and Disney Channel hasn't tried to flirt with much (though they've certainly made effort to) - adults, both older Millennial and even younger X-Gen males and females.
So what's happening? I think it boils down to two things - both Disney Channel and Nickelodeon refuse to be flexible outside of their traditional narrative/content generation of sticking to traditional, corporate-driven sitcom and show formulas, and (very much related) refusing to be flexible outside of traditional network distribution and viewership models. I'll explore that in a future post but right now I just want to talk about where the future is headed, and how it relates to why stories for young children matter.
I read a book recently, I forgot which one exactly, but it had a great quote (I don't remember if it was in the actual narrative or in the acknowledgements) about why people like telling stories from a child's perspective. It was written from the perspective of a young teenaged girl (which is why I think it might actually be in the narrative proper) about how children and teens like telling stories and being involved in stories because it makes them feel like they matter. And trust me, it can be tough to feel like you matter when you're a teen, especially given what teens put themselves through (much of it trying to feel like they matter). Extra-curricular activities, social activities, etc. I think putting these thoughts and experiences down through some means - whether through pen, canvas, video, or whatever means happens to be convenient for that teen to express through - helps teens mentally sort through this stuff and figure out what kind of path they need to go down. And of course, it helps to share these experiences with other teens so that they can be inspired to see what kind of path lays ahead of them, too.
I've partially done that on this very blog myself, although only in the context of the mission statement of this blog - I've shared my experiences dealing with cancer at a very young age for cancer (not like a St. Jude's Hospital or Shriners ad but you still get the picture) and how that got me into, of all things, Jessie, and from there the rest of Disney Channel, Nickelodeon and ultimately this blog in the first place. I've shared why of all things Jessie ended up being the specific gateway to this kiddie stuff as cancer refuge in the first place, because Jessie herself (Debby Ryan) ended up reminding me of my ex fiancee who dumped me around the same time when I first discovered I had cancer - which, come to think of it, I guess is kind of odd I find comfort in the one thing that more reminds me of the bad stuff I went through, especially since the resemblance they had to each other started becoming too real when Debby got arrested for DUI.
But for whatever reason, this stuff matters if evidenced by nothing else through how often it comes up - through teens making videos on YouTube or putting up DeviantArt profiles and what not. And, at a certain point, by how much they used to connect and identify with these shows. Jessie had really high ratings until somewhere in Season 3 and especially in Season 4 where the show basically became Suite Life Minus Zack and Cody. Girl Meets World had success early on based on the promise of being "real," relatable and being something the demo can connect to, but I think it falters because it tried too hard, relied too much on old-fashioned narrative techniques and tropes (that, again, corporate types would make bigger assumptions on than actual kids) and ultimately didn't feel genuine enough and too cynically "corporate." Wizards of Waverly Place (which when I watch it now is actually kind of awful in places but that doesn't make Alex any less relatable), the Suite Life series, That's So Raven and Even Stevens are long gone. I think the only shows that really relates and resonates is Liv and Maddie and maybe Girl Meets World if nostalgists keep telling themselves that (sorry Christian and Sean) and both of those shows are absolutely on their last legs (I wouldn't be surprised if Girl Meets World is renewed for a fourth season - but at this point I'd be less surprised if they just call it a run and be done with it come February '17 apparently). Maybe maybe Best Friends Whenever though I think that show mostly survives on humor if it's even surviving at all. K.C. Undercover absolutely survives on Zendaya's star power (it's really strong star power) and a fantastic cast build around her but the plotlines by themselves actually really suck. Other than The Thundermans, Nickelodeon seems quick to cancel every show that comes by with even a modicum of charm (though I'll take this back if School of Rock also fails to survive into its sophomore season) and keep awful crap like Game Shakers (though it also seems to be trying out dirt-cheap docu-reality shows, especially Chrashletes of which the biggest [practically only real] expense is seeing how much it'll take Gronk to actually host a Nickelodeon show).
I absolutely believe that, eventually at least, Disney Channel and Nickelodeon will cease to exist in their current forms. Nickelodeon might evolve to become an alternative-outlet provider, but given the Disney corporate structure and how they've already expanded into a few potential alternative-distribution outlets as it is (plus "Channel" is becoming increasingly an anachronism) I expect Disney Channel to eventually simply fold. Maybe they'll just consolidate everything into an uber-Disney app and live-action shows (if they even still do them at that point) won't necessarily be so dramatically segregated from, say, being able to watch Pixar movies through said app.
I also read the Cracked.com article written by none other than Mara Wilson herself about what it's like to be a child actor (spoiler alert: it sucks) and her conclusion that one day we'd go so far as to completely replace child actors with CGI. I don't quite agree with her assessment - CGI is still a bit buggy when it comes to completely replicating and replacing a person out of Uncanny Valley territory - but I also at least partially disagree with the sentiment that being a child actor is always a bad thing (though the Debby DUI situation has me thinking about siding more closely with Mara). But as I said earlier, children and teens will find ways to express themselves, and acting very much is a part of that.
...but I do think in the future, the very near future in fact, child actors will increasingly be their own agents, their own producers, directors, and content creators as they more and more realize their dreams single-handedly through outlets like YouTube, maybe even YouTube Red. Having teens become YouTube Red partners, having them become cultural icons on their own ala people from PewDiePie to Austin Mahone and Justin Bieber, and having them be cable of producing scripted content (especially if a few enterprising ones try the single-cam approach - and some will) especially could be a killing blow against Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. It's something I have great hope for, because while user-created content is nice and it's steadily evolving, having a polished product is nice for kids to be entertained by - and is a powerful source of inspiration when it's made by kids practically exactly like them.
Plus, it would suck if kids' entertainment just devolves into endless faux-reality entertainment or prank-based content. Those are all fine and dandy actually, but kids do need stories of actual substance to grow their narrative boundaries, for the same reason why video games and YouTube itself needs to be broken up by proper reading and schooling.
Well, I think that just about wraps it up. I'll invite Mike over to add any thoughts, he's more than deserved it. Like I opened up with this blog really is half his anyway, in more ways than one (including literal!)
Christian and Sean are well-respected here.......but yeah, shots fired.
I want to thank you so much for the introduction and the kind words. Honestly, I really didn't think I was doing that much work on the blog until you pointed it out today. It's great how our 100th post is on the one-year anniversary of the blog's inception so we really were blessed today. I'm trying not to get emotional, but damn. Unknown, you're really going to bring me to tears. Reading all that just made me realize how grateful I am to be here, getting the opportunity to write and people can actually read and respond to it. I guess I'll share my own story of how I ended up here.
For as long as I can remember, I've been a fan of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. My allegiance to either network swayed at times. 2007-2009 was definitely when Disney dominated due to High School Musical, Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, Demi, and Selena. Yeah, those were good times. But they all walked out at some point and Nickelodeon really had the market cornered with iCarly, Victorious, and Big Time Rush. It's hard to believe, but at one time, all three of these shows were good at the same time. I'm not joking. Then Big Time Rush became the only show left with quality, and it ended.......with an actual series finale. I'll never forgive Nick for treating Victorious like it did.
So yeah, eventually, both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel went through a downward spiral. There was a time where I could tune into both networks and watch multiple shows apiece. Those days are long gone. I still want to review one episode from each live-action show out, but I haven't started yet. I still have time, but someone remind me on New Year's Eve Eve (for you slow people out there, December 30) to get to it if I haven't already.
At this point, neither network has anything in the same realm as the shows I watched growing up. I know I sound like an old head looking at it through rose-colored glasses, and 48% of my frustration comes from that, but the other 52% comes from the fact that my generation's shows were simply better. When I was eight years old, I had Drake & Josh and Zoey 101. Ten years later, eight-year-olds have Henry Danger and Game Shakers. Do you see how far the fall from grace has been for kids live-action shows? I'm keeping animation out of this, because as far as I know, the 2010s has been a damn good decade for kids cartoons.
When Unknown first brought up the blog, I just knew I had to jump at the opportunity before the competition beat me to it. I had no competition, but that's besides the point. I saw that Unknown shared similar sensibilities when it came to how we viewed Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, and the partnership has been like yin and yang from the beginning. I seriously can't remember a time where we disagreed with each other. Well, except for Invisible Sister, and I'll still fight him on that because that movie was surprisingly good. Anyway, this blog has been something I never truly appreciated until now, at least as much as I do in this moment. Unknown's put a lot of hard work into maintaining this blog even when it seemed unnecessary, and the fact that he's still here lets me know that I can trust him to keep things going. Rome wasn't built in a day.
There's one thing my partner said that hit me like a ton of bricks. Teenagers and children like to write their own stories because they feel like they don't have a voice, like they're just around to deal with growing pains until they become adults and settle into themselves. I never looked at it like that. I have an adult cartoon where pretty much all of the characters are kids, and that was a conscious choice because I didn't want the adults around. I just wanted my show to focus on the kids, and the characters remind me of a time when things were easier, when you didn't have to worry every single day about your future or what the news said because you were busy in your own world. Let's face it. Corporate people can't understand this. They're not focused on quality control, they just want shows that they think will be appealing. It reminds me of when Nicktoons first became a thing in 1991. Several different shows were developed during this time, and many were rejected because the company thought they were too formulaic.
Think about that. There was a time when Nickelodeon was worried about quality control, and didn't want generic programming because they knew kids deserved better. Doug, Rugrats, and Ren & Stimpy may seem pretty standard 25 years later, but when they first came out, they stood for something. They stood for Nickelodeon's attempt to stand out from the pack and air something unique, something kids had never seen before. Disney Channel was like that at one point too, just wanting to give kids something relatable and soulful. In 2016, soul is dead. Not just the genre, but this way of thinking by network executives. If I want subversive animation that actually stands out from the pack and gives me something to remember years from now, I just watch American Dad or Rick & Morty.
The only problem is, these shows are made for adults and teenagers who really want to laugh. Kids don't have an American Dad or a Rick & Morty or a classic Simpsons, do they? A Boondocks, seasons 1-3? Family Guy, seasons 1-5? South Park? The last kids show to really shake up the game like that was SpongeBob. Yeah, I said it. SpongeBob is seriously one of the best comedies I have ever watched, and the early seasons have aged like imported wine. It set out to do nothing but write interesting stories, tell clever and snappy jokes, give kids something sophisticated and silly but endearing altogether. It was just a straight comedy show.
I don't even see an early SpongeBob in 2016. When is that going to change?
Back to the main point. There really aren't that many good kids live-action shows at the end of the day. The Thundermans is good for what it is, but most people probably aren't even aware that it exists. Girl Meets World has been dripping with potential since the first episode, but at this rate, it's going to take years before it ever peaks, much less comes close to touching its predecessor. These shows can't be mentioned in the same breath as Drake & Josh and That's So Raven. Those shows were never high concept art, but they did what a lot of kids shows can't do today: Be entertaining. Seriously, is any kids live-action show right now even worthy of being compared to Drake & Josh in terms of comedy? That kind of stuff is beyond creators today, even Dan Schneider himself.
Okay, I'm going on a rant here. Unknown, you want the mic back?
Dang, I actually like what you wrote better than what I wrote! Of course that's a big reason why I really like having you here and why I specifically wanted to make sure to thank you in the very first paragraph. Needless to say, I really do thank you for your contribution to this blog so far. Without it this would be Post #24 or something, if it'd been kept updated at all.
Oh yeah, and I want to make it clear, Christian and Sean are well-respected here. I'm sure they don't mind the slight nab at them :) At least I thought it was a light enough jab....
Yeah, we can talk about the glory days of kidcoms and the greats especially. Like Drake & Josh. I saw my very first episode of Drake & Josh in 2012 (needless to say I was a late-comer, for reasons I already partially explained here and further explained in earlier posts) but that was back when they decided to run a bunch of episodes every day in October randomly for some reason, so while I didn't see the whole series I saw a very big chunk of it (at least a majority by episode count). Even back then, I didn't think it was just one of the greatest kidcoms ever, but one of the greatest sitcoms period. I mean it. It amazes me that I can go back and watch Drake & Josh, or even iCarly and Victorious on its best of days, and then look at Henry Danger on its worst of days or Sam & Cat and Game Shakers on...pretty much any given episode and it amazes me that the same guy did all this?!?! Big Time Rush was another really good one, but excepting Thundermans I can't remember a good non-Schneider live-action show that's managed to last; Haunted Hathaways was the closest at two seasons and there was a point where that show started to almost be nothing but "let's endlessly slime poor Amber Montana (Frank now?) and make a show of that," or Bella and the Bulldogs which on average was a much better show but Brec Bassinger herself recently tweeted the show is done. As we've discussed before 100 Things to Do Before High School is the best of them all but with ultra-low ratings (even lower than Disney Channel now), no word on renewal and with Isabel Monier now having a huge part in the upcoming Transformers movie it's safe to say it's done too. Hopefully at least that show was instrumental in getting her that huge movie role get, and will help her rise to stardom. Hell even Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn has moments and I think I heard that show got Season 3, so I guess I can name that. Legendary Dudas was surprisingly good but Nick has a very poor track record for single-cam and charming shows as of late, and as I've previously stated I've come to the conclusion that School of Rock is just slightly better-smelling garbage than Game Shakers. And as much as I complain about the ending of Jessie it at least got a half-assed ending. Even How to Rock (remember that show?) got a more complete ending than that.
Of course Drake Bell and especially Josh Peck were great actors too. I really liked Grandfathered, which I reviewed a few months back (the episode guest starring Drake Bell no less, making it a mini-reunion). Was it Drake & Josh good? Hell no. I really shouldn't even insult, say, Fraser or Newsradio by even mentioning them in the same paragraph. But it's at least as good as the single-cam sitcoms that actually manage to get renewed on ABC for example. In fact I'll eagerly go on record to call it better than the last five or so seasons of Modern Family or the last few of The Middle. And today's adult multi-cams? Yeah, forget The Big Bang Theory, you'll have to go back to that era of Fraser and Newsradio to find multi-cams really worth remembering anymore. Or at least How I Met Your Mother even though I haven't seen a full episode ever (I saw 15 seconds of the episode with the Korean Elvis and then changed it back to Girl Meets World. True story).
It really surprises me how much creative control Nick let the actual show creators have back in the day, especially when you compare it to now. I've seen some Salute Your Shorts through The Splat and...honestly it's a bit too cynical for my tastes but I suppose that's the point. Hey Dude is a little hokey, not too far off from Saved by the Bell on a dude ranch (again I suppose it's the point) but it's my kind of hokey (fun fact: one of the writers of that show was Graham Yost...who'd later go on to do the decidedly not-kiddie Boomtown, Justified [which I've mentioned here and there] and The Americans). I love CatDog, and Ren and Stimpy was one of those shows that has lost its edge today precisely because it's been so revolutionary, everybody else just had no choice but to catch up with it. It's funny you mention American Dad! as being subversive because I think it's suffered that exact same fate even before it hit the air thanks to Family Guy - that show along with old-school Simpsons had made subversive TV so mainstream, you have to wonder is it really subversive anymore if it is mainstream? Rick and Morty isn't an aberration, it's specifically what the demo flat-out expects (I mean, the very network it's on is called [adult swim]).
We're living in a golden age of entertainment, but again, precisely because of that entertainment can be frustrating. What used to be subversive and edgy is now referenced on a billion other TV shows, if not meta-self-referenced on those original shows now (yeah I'm looking at Family Guy again and even South Park). We demand more from our shows now, and rightly so, but not everyone's delivering. Even the insanely popular shows like TBBT are middling, average, milquetoast (there's an SAT word for you). And especially when it comes to kid's entertainment, it really does end up getting into an animation vs. live-action divide, for two related reasons: because Simpsons/Family Guy happened, and because a live-action equivalent of those shows didn't. Both of those shows used the freedom of their medium to expand far beyond what sitcoms up to that point bothered to try (there's an ancient interview out there where Seth MacFarlane pointed out the episode where the Griffin's house gets "fumigated" as a specific example, and how having a bunch of SWAT guys shoot up bugs in a house would necessitate a movie budget in live-action but it doesn't change the budget squat on an animated show) and they were just so jarring yet so good and entertaining that, like Ren and Stimpy before and like South Park, they've forced a change in how people think of animation. And because people still think of animation as largely being the domain of children (the "Animation Age Ghetto" that TVTropes talks about) well...ironically enough perhaps for that reason it forced all that innovation to trickle down to children's animation as well (that and the influence of anime in the 90s, with how in Japan animation really is treated as an alternative to live-action and not simply just something for kids). You have things like Regular Show and Steven Universe and My Little Pony. Who would've thought that My Little Pony would have Old-Fart Millennial/X-Gen appeal?
I think there are several problems with live-action shows now, at least as they exist on the network. For starters it's very hard for live-action to get that Family Guy/Simpsons watershed moment, because in order for it to really be transformative and subversive it has to be aimed at kids specifically, and few people on corporate-run television want to risk that. Up to this point and counting, whenever someone had an idea for a really subversive live-action show, even when starring kids, it just automatically got shoved into the adult demo. There's no preconception that it has to be for kids no matter what like animation. There's nothing to be subversive against, in other words.
And then there's the thing about that whole corporate mindset Mike mentioned. They don't want to rely on creativity or subversiveness, they want to rely on "proven" formula. That's not to say they didn't allow for their shows to have a bit of a slant and an edge, at least to an extent. iCarly was very edgy, especially at the beginning. iCarly very much tackled head-on the types of antagonists tweens and teens are sick and tired of all day but are very politically incorrect to acknowledge openly - teachers, authority and even corporate cynicism itself (iTake on Dingo, which was easy since it was shots at the competition, but still). Yes, Disney Channel and Nick still does it all the time but not with the relatively hard edge iCarly did. On a typical Disney Channel or Nick show today evil teachers were buttheads, but on iCarly they were outright assholes. On a typical Disney Channel or Nick show today, teachers were immovable obstacles and kids had to learn to deal with them and often with bad consequences (granted, it's a valuable lesson but meh) but on iCarly asshole teachers actually got their just desserts. Compare iHave my Principals or iGet Detention to the latest Gamer's Guide episode, The Long Weekend, and you can tell the difference between comic relief teachers (granted, Lauren Pritchard is pretty much hilarious in everything and it's Dana Friggin' Snyder) and actual asshole teachers who get their just desserts in the end. Both of those iCarly episodes were immensely satisfying.
Victorious had a hard edge too (Jade was pretty much Hard Edge in teen girl form suitable for kidcom sensibilities). The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That's So Raven, Wizards of Waverly Place all had a hard edge (again, Alex was walking teen girl wizard Hard Edge). Even Jessie to an extent, with some of the more "under the radar" humor it had, but it also tried to let the humor work with the plot instead of devolving into a slapstick and pun delivery device. It's interesting since we mention creative control too, since the actress who starred in the show herself supposedly put in a lot of input into the beginning. I think you can tell later on she either started to lose that input one way or another or just stopped caring - I dunno, maybe around the same time and maybe for the same reasons as she decided it was a good idea to start driving around in a brand-new $50,000 Audi and drink booze at the same time.
I think this is why in the near future the best content, including and especially live-action, will be from tweens and teens themselves. I don't think live-action will ever die, but I think i twill be the domain of creator-generators or whatever you want to call them because, while there are tweens and teens who certainly do animation routinely, live-action will always be easier and more convenient to some degree. They'll find corporate sponsors and partners through YouTube Red, or even Hulu or Netflix, or independent advertisers - or they won't, but they'll still put it up on YouTube anyway. PewDiePie, anyone? Or for that matter Angry Video Game Nerd, EgoRaptor (wow I am old) and literally every single Vine and Instagram celeb. Kids know how to be subversive - I did some teaching, I know - and they will put it into their works. It's just a question of, how well-polished is that final product going to be, and how long and who and in what form will it arrive?
And since Mike mentioned that he has an adult show starring kids, I've got a few ideas kicking around, but I don't really mention them much because my ideas come and go as they please so I don't find much of a point in going in-depth with something that has yet to have any permanence even within my own mind, and because actually I think it's bad luck to share ideas before they're seriously being worked on. But one of those ideas - more of a general concept anyway - is actually trying to goad parents into making their own children into stars, at least to a limited degree. All of the tasks necessary to make a live-action film are very useful life skills, in fact thanks to social media now moreso than ever. Whether that's acting, scriptwriting, shot composition, editing, or directing.
Also, if you want to talk about shots fired, Steven Universe is way better than Adventure Time (at least the two episode of Steven Universe I actually bothered to watch) and I actually like new Spongebob better than old standard-def era Spongebob, and Invisible Sister is still terribad *runs*.
* Oh yeah, I forgot to explain this the first time around. That whole "we're now two blogs!" thing which, as you've gathered, is kind of obsolete now. The idea was that I was trying to launch a blog/newsite more professionally-polished and geared towards kidcom and tween/teen entertainment news and editorials, complete with more polished, journal-quality essays on the past, present and future state of tween/teen entertainment (this post you're reading had its genesis from me kicking around what was supposed to be the inaugural post/essay). I even managed to convince someone to help me with Gawker - yes, that Gawker - to help host a dedicated URL on their Kinja posting platform (to make it clear, it would have had absolutely no affiliation with Gawker beyond simply using their software, and just like with this blog I would've been paid absolutely bupkis on it). Then two things happened - the first, of course, was that Gawker got absolutely wrecked as a result of the Hulk Hogan defamation lawsuit (I really don't want to get into the particulars, you can Google it or better yet go to Gawker.com and read from their perspective). And the second was the simple realization that there isn't much of a market for tween and teen entertainment, especially live-action entertainment, to be critically analyzed, which means the chances of launching the aborted blog into a bigger feature with the possibility of paid advertisers was quickly approaching zero. Several blogs already critically examine animation for all ages, in part or in whole, but when you start applying the same to live-action tween/teen entertainment people are extremely dismissive at best, or they start throwing accusations (like in the comments section) that you're only doing this because you have a serious literal hard-on for and enjoy having wet dreams about Selena Gomez or Zendaya (never mind that both of those actresses are well into being legal-aged, although that still doesn't excuse being creepy about them - or accusing others of doing so). Part of that is because of that whole thing Mike and I spent this entire post talking about - there's no subversive or hard edge to this medium of tween/teen entertainment anymore, so it immediately gets dismissed. Either way, it looks like this blog will continue to be the most worthwhile avenue for me doing this thing.
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Girl Meets World Reviewed: Let's Play Catchup
Hello, old friend.
You may have noticed that there haven't been any reviews in a couple weeks. That problem was addressed the other day by Unknown and since he covered everything perfectly, there's no need to be redundant. With that being said, Girl Meets World. After the "Ski Lodge" episodes, I really had to take a step back and just question whether or not I still wanted to review the show. The answer is no, I don't want to. I don't think the show is good enough to receive in-depth reviews for every single episode. That's why I have all the respect in the world for Christian and Sean over at GMWReviewed, because they have no choice and have committed themselves to a project that is frustrating, but full of genuine pride in their work. This blog was meant to cover shows from Nickelodeon and Disney Channel for the most part. Lately, the reviewing diet has been very limited. There are certain reasons for that:
1. Laziness. I'm going to be honest, I could really sit there and watch episodes of all these shows, but I have to discipline myself and be patient in order to do that. I mean, I just saw a few minutes of Bizaardvark the other day. That was enough to kill my spirit and make me afraid of actually checking out these other shows. I mean, Henry Danger? The Thundermans? I can do those shows, no problem. It's just everything else that gives me no hope.
Well, actually, that's the only reason. I could hold myself to the responsibility of tackling all of these shows, but maybe I just need to set a goal for myself. You know what? That's exactly what I'm going to do.
By the end of 2016, I will review one episode of each live-action sitcom currently airing on both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. The task might just end up killing me, but I want to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment with this blog. Just one episode of my choice and that's that. If I haven't done a full review for the show yet, it's fair game. I've talked about The Thundermans a lot, but not in the same way I have with Girl Meets World so that's an example. I'm already two shows down so for the next four months, it's on.
Anyway, since I'm going to focus on school more over the next few weeks and months, my reviewing is going to get scarce. Plus, I have scripts for my adult animated series to attend to and I want to resurrect my WordPress blog before it's too late. With all that in the way, I'm going to be sporadic with the reviews until further notice. I still have my goal in the back of my head, but other than that, I have nothing else to do on the blog for now.
So yeah, this post is about playing catchup. Ever since "Ski Lodge," three episodes of GMW have aired. The good news is, they were all pretty good on average. Well, the last two episodes anyway. So I'm just going to do some mini-reviews of these episodes and probably continue doing that for the rest of the season. Keep in mind that my "contract expires" the night of the season three finale, and if Disney Channel decides "whatever" and renews Girl Meets World for season four, I probably won't review it at all unless I absolutely have to. Enough talking. Time for some thoughts on Girl Meets World's last three episodes:
Yeah before we do that I'm just going to interject with a quick note about this blog, as this marks our 99th post! Since our 1 year anniversary is in about 20 days I figure we can combine our 100th post and 1 year anniversary posts together in some fashion. I'm thinking of some ideas, including soliciting our readership (yeah that means you) for any ideas or any words you want to see in the post. I'll also include some other things, not to take away from Mike so read through first!
"Girl Meets I Do"
Yeah, out of all three episodes, this one is definitely the weakest. I mean, you would think an episode about Shawn Hunter's wedding would be a standout, and I definitely care about this because it's Shawn getting married, but I don't know. It didn't strike a huge chord with me for one reason or another. One main problem with this episode is that it chooses to focus on Maya and how she feels about the wedding. I honestly don't care about Maya's feelings because this isn't about her. That's why I love it when Shawn flat out tells her that the wedding's not about her. I mean, he's not like "Bitch, if you don't suck it up and stop messing up the flow, I'm calling up Angela so you can be without a daddy again." He just tells her like it is and I appreciate that. That's why I wished there were more scenes with just Shawn dealing with his emotions as he begins to share his life with someone else. It was an okay episode, but nothing special. The wedding itself is fantastic, every joke kills and Mr. Feeny is in rare form as he just shuts down everything. Like when Topanga and the girls start up the Feeny Call and he tells them to stop it. Also, there are some nice bromance jokes with Cory and Shawn, but I think it's more at Cory's expense because it's like he's gay for Shawn. You know, because that's the joke, I think.
Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: William Daniels, for just elevating this episode another notch the second he showed up.
"Girl Meets the Real World"
This was a really well-done episode. I mean that. The fact that Joshua Jacobs wrote this makes me want to spit out my imaginary drink because I must be living in some parallel universe. I feel like the lesson was left a little more vague than it should have because it's not all there at the end, but this is a really good episode nonetheless. It tells its story in a way that doesn't come off as overbearing or heavy-handed. It's Riley coming to terms with the wickedness of the world, and her desire to become more evil since she doesn't see any hope for humanity. Zay got a chance to shine as well when Riley proves her newfound mean streak by eating the cookie that Zay's relative made for him. The best scene in this episode is something we pretty much never see on this show: Realism. Soul-shattering, unfiltered realism. Maya questions why Riley didn't give money to this homeless man that needed it to afford matching shoes. Riley states that for all they know, he's not really spending the money on shoes. Josh J.'s job must have been on the line unless he buckled down and delivered a quality episode, and that was a scene that felt straight out of Boy Meets World. This episode taught a very important lesson, that even with the existence of evil, it's more important to be a good person and leave a positive mark on the world. The only thing I don't like here, literally the only thing, is Smackle once again making a joke about her attraction to Lucas......while Farkle is sitting right there. Seriously, cut that bullshit out, it's not funny and makes Smackle unlikable while making Farkle look like a chump.
They used to do Smackle/Lucas scenes correctly. Did they really forget what made their dynamic work already?
Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Rowan Blanchard. Riley really shined in this episode as I was genuinely interested in her realization that the world can be a cruel, unforgiving place. I don't know if her naivete is going to come back in future episodes, but for now, I'm impressed with how the writers handled her character.
"Girl Meets Bear"
An episode about Riley losing her teddy bear and everyone pitching in to help her find out? Yup, sounds like the stupidest premise ever when you put pen to paper. However, an idea can be salvaged if you work at it enough, and who is already deserving of a raise on the writing staff for doing exactly that? That's right, Mackenzie Yeager. This is the second episode she's written since she joined the crew this season, and the last one was "Jexica" so she already came in hot. Eventually, she's going to write a dud but for now, she's really gotten a handle on these characters and how they operate so she needs to be kept on staff for as long as possible. This episode relies on comedy for the most part, but the jokes hit bullseyes most of the time and pretty much every character is likable in this thing, especially Maya and Zay. Maya is a complete ball of joy in this episode, going nuts over the taco special and that being her only motivation in this episode. She just wants to take advantage of the tacos on sale but she's bogged down by whatever Riley's doing. It works beautifully. We also get a great meta joke with Farkle and Lucas ("Why did you two switch characters?"), the return of Alan's Navy gloves, and Zay continuing to shine as a character. He just asks Maya out on a date, acts on his feelings and gets what he's looking for. Very rarely does anyone on this show handle romance like an actual person would so it's refreshing for Zay to just go get what he came for and succeed. I'm also glad they didn't find the bear in the end because I would have thrown up in my mouth had that happened. This might just be the best episode of the season. It's not saying much, but nobody should sleep on Mackenzie Yeager's writing. She's now a force to be reckoned with.
Episode Grade: A-
Episode MVP: Amir Mitchell-Townes. It's not even debatable, Zay was the freaking man in this episode. Also, I loved the callback to Riley eating his cookie. Since when does this show ever reference something that happened in the previous episode? It's stuff like this that almost makes that "Ski Lodge" garbage worth it.
Well, there you go. Girl Meets World is once again in a groove. But once again, the show will drop the ball and go through a cold streak very soon. "Jexica" and "Permanent Record" gave me a lot of hope that we would finally see this show come together......then "Triangle" aired and made me want to spit on the ground. What I'm saying is, GMW is as bipolar as they come, but at least we finally got some genuinely good episodes again. There are only four gems this season ("Jexica," "Permanent Record," "Real World," "Bear") but there could be more if we just believe hard enough. Can this show survive the pressure and turn a lump of coal into a diamond, or will it fumble once again and grind itself into dust? Find out some other time. Right now, it's time to........take care of some other things.
You may have noticed that there haven't been any reviews in a couple weeks. That problem was addressed the other day by Unknown and since he covered everything perfectly, there's no need to be redundant. With that being said, Girl Meets World. After the "Ski Lodge" episodes, I really had to take a step back and just question whether or not I still wanted to review the show. The answer is no, I don't want to. I don't think the show is good enough to receive in-depth reviews for every single episode. That's why I have all the respect in the world for Christian and Sean over at GMWReviewed, because they have no choice and have committed themselves to a project that is frustrating, but full of genuine pride in their work. This blog was meant to cover shows from Nickelodeon and Disney Channel for the most part. Lately, the reviewing diet has been very limited. There are certain reasons for that:
1. Laziness. I'm going to be honest, I could really sit there and watch episodes of all these shows, but I have to discipline myself and be patient in order to do that. I mean, I just saw a few minutes of Bizaardvark the other day. That was enough to kill my spirit and make me afraid of actually checking out these other shows. I mean, Henry Danger? The Thundermans? I can do those shows, no problem. It's just everything else that gives me no hope.
Well, actually, that's the only reason. I could hold myself to the responsibility of tackling all of these shows, but maybe I just need to set a goal for myself. You know what? That's exactly what I'm going to do.
By the end of 2016, I will review one episode of each live-action sitcom currently airing on both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. The task might just end up killing me, but I want to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment with this blog. Just one episode of my choice and that's that. If I haven't done a full review for the show yet, it's fair game. I've talked about The Thundermans a lot, but not in the same way I have with Girl Meets World so that's an example. I'm already two shows down so for the next four months, it's on.
Anyway, since I'm going to focus on school more over the next few weeks and months, my reviewing is going to get scarce. Plus, I have scripts for my adult animated series to attend to and I want to resurrect my WordPress blog before it's too late. With all that in the way, I'm going to be sporadic with the reviews until further notice. I still have my goal in the back of my head, but other than that, I have nothing else to do on the blog for now.
So yeah, this post is about playing catchup. Ever since "Ski Lodge," three episodes of GMW have aired. The good news is, they were all pretty good on average. Well, the last two episodes anyway. So I'm just going to do some mini-reviews of these episodes and probably continue doing that for the rest of the season. Keep in mind that my "contract expires" the night of the season three finale, and if Disney Channel decides "whatever" and renews Girl Meets World for season four, I probably won't review it at all unless I absolutely have to. Enough talking. Time for some thoughts on Girl Meets World's last three episodes:
Yeah before we do that I'm just going to interject with a quick note about this blog, as this marks our 99th post! Since our 1 year anniversary is in about 20 days I figure we can combine our 100th post and 1 year anniversary posts together in some fashion. I'm thinking of some ideas, including soliciting our readership (yeah that means you) for any ideas or any words you want to see in the post. I'll also include some other things, not to take away from Mike so read through first!
"Girl Meets I Do"
Yeah, out of all three episodes, this one is definitely the weakest. I mean, you would think an episode about Shawn Hunter's wedding would be a standout, and I definitely care about this because it's Shawn getting married, but I don't know. It didn't strike a huge chord with me for one reason or another. One main problem with this episode is that it chooses to focus on Maya and how she feels about the wedding. I honestly don't care about Maya's feelings because this isn't about her. That's why I love it when Shawn flat out tells her that the wedding's not about her. I mean, he's not like "Bitch, if you don't suck it up and stop messing up the flow, I'm calling up Angela so you can be without a daddy again." He just tells her like it is and I appreciate that. That's why I wished there were more scenes with just Shawn dealing with his emotions as he begins to share his life with someone else. It was an okay episode, but nothing special. The wedding itself is fantastic, every joke kills and Mr. Feeny is in rare form as he just shuts down everything. Like when Topanga and the girls start up the Feeny Call and he tells them to stop it. Also, there are some nice bromance jokes with Cory and Shawn, but I think it's more at Cory's expense because it's like he's gay for Shawn. You know, because that's the joke, I think.
Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: William Daniels, for just elevating this episode another notch the second he showed up.
"Girl Meets the Real World"
This was a really well-done episode. I mean that. The fact that Joshua Jacobs wrote this makes me want to spit out my imaginary drink because I must be living in some parallel universe. I feel like the lesson was left a little more vague than it should have because it's not all there at the end, but this is a really good episode nonetheless. It tells its story in a way that doesn't come off as overbearing or heavy-handed. It's Riley coming to terms with the wickedness of the world, and her desire to become more evil since she doesn't see any hope for humanity. Zay got a chance to shine as well when Riley proves her newfound mean streak by eating the cookie that Zay's relative made for him. The best scene in this episode is something we pretty much never see on this show: Realism. Soul-shattering, unfiltered realism. Maya questions why Riley didn't give money to this homeless man that needed it to afford matching shoes. Riley states that for all they know, he's not really spending the money on shoes. Josh J.'s job must have been on the line unless he buckled down and delivered a quality episode, and that was a scene that felt straight out of Boy Meets World. This episode taught a very important lesson, that even with the existence of evil, it's more important to be a good person and leave a positive mark on the world. The only thing I don't like here, literally the only thing, is Smackle once again making a joke about her attraction to Lucas......while Farkle is sitting right there. Seriously, cut that bullshit out, it's not funny and makes Smackle unlikable while making Farkle look like a chump.
They used to do Smackle/Lucas scenes correctly. Did they really forget what made their dynamic work already?
Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Rowan Blanchard. Riley really shined in this episode as I was genuinely interested in her realization that the world can be a cruel, unforgiving place. I don't know if her naivete is going to come back in future episodes, but for now, I'm impressed with how the writers handled her character.
"Girl Meets Bear"
An episode about Riley losing her teddy bear and everyone pitching in to help her find out? Yup, sounds like the stupidest premise ever when you put pen to paper. However, an idea can be salvaged if you work at it enough, and who is already deserving of a raise on the writing staff for doing exactly that? That's right, Mackenzie Yeager. This is the second episode she's written since she joined the crew this season, and the last one was "Jexica" so she already came in hot. Eventually, she's going to write a dud but for now, she's really gotten a handle on these characters and how they operate so she needs to be kept on staff for as long as possible. This episode relies on comedy for the most part, but the jokes hit bullseyes most of the time and pretty much every character is likable in this thing, especially Maya and Zay. Maya is a complete ball of joy in this episode, going nuts over the taco special and that being her only motivation in this episode. She just wants to take advantage of the tacos on sale but she's bogged down by whatever Riley's doing. It works beautifully. We also get a great meta joke with Farkle and Lucas ("Why did you two switch characters?"), the return of Alan's Navy gloves, and Zay continuing to shine as a character. He just asks Maya out on a date, acts on his feelings and gets what he's looking for. Very rarely does anyone on this show handle romance like an actual person would so it's refreshing for Zay to just go get what he came for and succeed. I'm also glad they didn't find the bear in the end because I would have thrown up in my mouth had that happened. This might just be the best episode of the season. It's not saying much, but nobody should sleep on Mackenzie Yeager's writing. She's now a force to be reckoned with.
Episode Grade: A-
Episode MVP: Amir Mitchell-Townes. It's not even debatable, Zay was the freaking man in this episode. Also, I loved the callback to Riley eating his cookie. Since when does this show ever reference something that happened in the previous episode? It's stuff like this that almost makes that "Ski Lodge" garbage worth it.
Well, there you go. Girl Meets World is once again in a groove. But once again, the show will drop the ball and go through a cold streak very soon. "Jexica" and "Permanent Record" gave me a lot of hope that we would finally see this show come together......then "Triangle" aired and made me want to spit on the ground. What I'm saying is, GMW is as bipolar as they come, but at least we finally got some genuinely good episodes again. There are only four gems this season ("Jexica," "Permanent Record," "Real World," "Bear") but there could be more if we just believe hard enough. Can this show survive the pressure and turn a lump of coal into a diamond, or will it fumble once again and grind itself into dust? Find out some other time. Right now, it's time to........take care of some other things.
Girl Meets World Reviewed: Girl Meets Gravity
It's not my 'Krainian episode.......'cause this one sucks.
This......this episode. "Girl Meets Gravity," the season two premiere of Girl Meets World. How does one manage to talk about one of the worst episodes in the history of the series? You might remember that I have made my disdain for this episode clear on several other occasions, but I haven't seen it since its original airing. I just remember it being so bad, there was no point in ever watching it again.
I recently saw it for the second time and let me just say that I hate this episode even more now. Especially considering all the crap that this show has done since then, and you keep this episode in the back of your head through it all. When you do, you realize that the writers recognized what people didn't like about Girl Meets World a long time ago, but they don't intend to change anything because that's just the way things are supposed to be. I can't say it's the worst ever, because stuff like "World of Terror 2," "Commonism," "Triangle," and "Ski Lodge" exist. If I were putting together a bottom five so far, "Gravity" would find a place though. It's reflective of everything people can't stand about this show, and it came at a time when we were expecting a lot better. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's go.
The episode starts in the weirdest way possible: With Riley standing in front of a green screen meant to resemble the universe and talking some crap about outer space or something. I'm sorry, I just can't take this seriously. This bizarre narration by Riley is done several times throughout the episode, and each time, it just breaks up the pace and reminds me that I don't have a clue of what's going on. It would have been absolutely horrible if Riley started doing this every episode, so thank God for that, or as our narrator puts it, the mind of God. But yeah, remember Clarissa Explains It All and how Clarissa would always speak to the camera? This is what happens when you do that wrong. We're not even a few minutes in and already, I'm annoyed.
So the real important stuff starts when Riley is forced to get out of bed by Cory and Topanga. Riley doesn't want to get up even though it's the first day of school because she's afraid Cory is going to be her teacher again. Then we have a joke about how Mr. Feeny was teaching the kids all the time on Boy Meets World......because that's exactly what happened. They're not exaggerating to be funny, it's a genuinely hilarious joke that works with the situation. This is how you do meta humor correctly, when you have the history to back it up and you can poke fun at yourself. But that's pretty much all the quality self-referential jokes we're going to get tonight. Maya comes in, the girls talk about how mature they are now, kings and whatnot, then they leave barefoot. What a weird freaking joke. It's not like they forgot to put on shoes, they're just not wearing them. Why would Maya not be wearing them? Yeah, things are not looking up right now, guys.
So the kids walk into their new eighth grade class and meet the new teacher. They do this whole somewhat funny bit about how Cory let the kids do whatever they want, but this new teacher's hardcore, yo, and he's not playing around. One of the biggest problems with this show, at least at the time, is that they constantly point out things that don't make any sense, joke about it, and continue to do it. Being self-aware is pointless and unfunny if you don't plan to do anything about these problems because they seriously hinder the enjoyment of the show. By doing this, it's like a middle finger to the fans because you're essentially saying that nothing is going to change. Joking about it over and over again doesn't fix anything. And of course, Riley and Maya act like socially awkward weirdos and get the new teacher out of there.
Guess who their teacher is going to be now? You'll never guess. Could it be............yup, Cory. Betcha didn't see that coming, lol.
Look, we all know Cory was going to be the teacher again. There was some hope, but they kept beating it into you how things were going to change that when Cory finally walked through the door, none of it mattered. We all knew what was coming but they kept dragging it out.
So of course, Riley and Maya don't want to deal with Cory again and decide to leave for a new class. Meanwhile, at the bakery that we're just now seeing for the first time in ages, Mrs. Svorski is doing her shtick with Topanga and Auggie. Also, green screen Riley talked about sipping on gin and juice from the sun, the stars, and the moon. I don't know, something like that. Anyway, it seems like Mrs. Svorski knows something we don't and wants to be ready for it so she passes ownership of the bakery to Topanga. It must be really stressful to juggle, what with the lawyer job and all, but she accepts anyway. I guess the Ukrainian bakery joke is pretty funny. Maybe it's just the accent.
So back at school, Riley and Maya meet their new teacher and classmates. It's literally the same joke as before. The girls expect the world to cater to them and for things to go one way, but then they go the other way and they don't know how to handle it. Right now, Riley and Maya are insufferable. When your two protagonists are off their game and no one picks up the slack, that's a serious problem. Of course, this classroom scene is unique because the joke is that there are Riley, Maya, Farkle, and Lucas clones here. Except that's not a joke because none of it is funny. I'm serious, I'm just sitting here not understanding what's going on at all. We know what the lesson is here, but that's not going to stop them from hammering it in as much as they can, because kids can't pick up on subtlety at all and they're dumb. Seriously, at this point, just make the theme song "Sledgehammer" by Fifth Harmony and rewrite some of the lyrics. It's going to work just as well.
There's another thing I want to talk about since they keep doing it: The self-referential stuff. It gets very annoying very fast because the writers are relying on it as the one joke. It's not funny because these problems have plagued the show for a while, and the writers have done absolutely nothing to change that. Well, not absolutely nothing. To the show's credit, it did improve after this episode, but it just ended up with other problems. Also, it almost feels like Girl Meets World hasn't earned the right to make fun of itself. These meta jokes come off like the show has been on the air for years and is just now deciding to respond to critics. I would compare this to "Eric Hollywood," but what's the point? That's the kind of comedic brilliance that GMW has never reached.
Let's just save time here. Riley and Maya head to the bakery and it's pretty obvious that Riley is annoyed. For some reason, it feels like her parents are constantly circling her, like planets as she explicitly states because nobody was getting the metaphor before. No, seriously, thank you for being so on the nose about it. I didn't get it when you have been staring at me through outer space several times, breaking up the pace of the episode and wasting my time by trying to come off as deep. So it turns out that the girls find out about Mrs. Svorski's plans and Topanga is now the owner of the bakery, their supposed hangout. I say supposed because I've never seen these two step foot in this place before this episode, and after this episode, they spend all their time there so why are they complaining? Riley doesn't have to go to 'Krainian bakery if she doesn't want to see her mother. Who hangs out at a place like this anyway?
Topanga has also brought in Maya's mother to help out, and this gets the girls so freaking hot.......with rage, get your minds out of the gutter. They just flat out say that they don't want their parents all up in the videos dancing anymore. God, can somebody slap Riley and Maya? I haven't enjoyed either of them in this episode, and they've had the most screen time so I can't just ignore it. All they do until the you know what scene is complain about everything and talk in ways that suggest they know they're on a TV show. Look, I love meta humor and breaking the fourth wall. When it's done well, self-references can be absolutely hilarious. But this is just too much and none of it is even funny. So Riley and Maya sit down in the bakery as the Matthews family leaves. Mrs. Svorski is on the far end of the bakery and it looks like her bones are going to fade into dust through the walls as Auggie looks at her one last time. Apparently, she gave him a present, which should be a cause for concern because she's not acting like she's retiring. She's acting like, well...................
...................anyway, we cut back to Riley doing her best Carl Sagan impression. It looks really weird because she's not looking at the camera and it's even more apparent that she's standing in front of something so the illusion of the Milky Way is gone. Then she walks to her left next to a picture of Mrs. Svorski and it turns out that Riley has given this off-kilter, inappropriate speech in front of a small crowd of people who came to honor Mrs. Svorski after she killed herself. Yeah, she killed herself, I'm going with that. When this episode first aired, we all knew Svorski was going to die. It was just a matter of how. We're never told how, but considering everything that we saw in this episode, I don't think Mrs. Svorski just knew that it was her time. She was trying to end it all and no one seemed to realize her cry for help but since this is a kids show, that's not really something we're ever going to address. But yeah........the woman committed suicide.
With that being said, this is absolutely jarring. It's one thing for Riley to do this narration away from the episode because it at least helps kids understand the metaphor even more than they already did. But you really expect me to believe that Riley Matthews gave this long-winded, metaphorical, bizarre speech at the wake of some woman she barely knew? No, I'm not buying what this episode is selling. It's funny because Riley talks about not being the center of attention, but she's taking the time at a reception for a woman she barely knew to explain how she learned that? It's just so abrupt to cut from the other bakery scene to Riley's narration to this. "Oh yeah, kids, it's okay. Mrs. Svorski most likely splattered her brains all over the walls, but Riley learned her lesson so it's all good that she's saying all this." I'm sorry, but I don't feel anything for this scene. We barely knew Mrs. Svorski ourselves as fans, so this scene just comes off as needlessly sappy and a way for the lesson to be taught as blatant as humanly possible.
Also, Mrs. Svorski left Auggie a suicide note in her present because apparently, that's something you do to a little kid. "It's not my 'Krainian bakery. I'm dead." I don't know why in God's name she thought it was okay to give Auggie that, and that pretty much confirms the theory that she killed herself, but either way, that's the funniest thing in the whole episode. I swear, it's just so unexpected and callous, that I can't help but laugh at it. It's definitely the best joke in these 22 minutes of anti-humor.
What comes next is truly one of the most heartwarming moments in the entire series. Cory calls up Mr. Feeny late at night just to see if he's alright. Feeny confirms that he's alive and well, and that's the end of the episode. That one scene is seriously what keeps this episode from getting an F, and if I didn't know better, I would say that they put this scene in just to save the whole thing.
So yeah, I still hate this episode just as much as I did when I first watched it. There's really not much to it other than a lesson bashed over your head constantly, smug meta humor, Riley and Maya being turned up to 11 just so they could learn the lesson, and a forced attempt at emotion by killing off a character we barely knew. I mean, when Sesame Street killed off Mr. Hooper, they........you know what? I'm not even going to state the obvious. Mr. Hooper's death was everything that Mrs. Svorski's wasn't, especially considering the fact that Mr. Hooper never left Big Bird a suicide note like this: "I'm dead. No one else is going to make your birdseed milkshakes, so get on with your life." Seriously, this episode was so embarrassing to watch the first time. It was the season premiere, and they decided to open it up with that? It almost seemed like Girl Meets World didn't want to change, and considering everything else we've seen since then, that just might be true.
Episode Grade: D-
Episode MVP: William Daniels. The Cory/Feeny scene deserved a way better episode to belong to.
Credit to Christian from GMWReviewed for coming up with the Mrs. Svorski suicide theory.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
-I will be forever grateful to the writers of this show for changing Farkle's character.......and sticking to it. This episode reminded me just how satisfying "Yearbook" was.
-The Farkle Time bit was actually pretty funny too. I don't think anybody has referred to using the bathroom as taking a farkle.
-Apparently, Riley's narration stuff was supposed to be a reference to the play Our Town. The play is also explicitly mentioned twice, so there's evidence to back it up. I've never read Our Town, but I have to assume there was nuance and subtlety when it used this narration compared to this episode.
-Seriously, it's really weird how Mrs. Svorski acts in this episode, just knowing she's going to die soon and no one ever questions it. They kinda just ignore what she's doing the whole time. I'm still holding onto the suicide thing, especially since Moesha did this exact same plot. The main difference is when one of Moesha's friends did what Svorski did, she was actually going to kill herself. Put this episode in the hands of a different show and I don't think it turns out the same way.
-I was going to use my regular green for this but I started writing in black and I realized that it looks really nice. This might become my new color.
-I'm honestly surprised Joshua Jacobs or anyone else in the family didn't write this. It was actually Randi Barnes. Then again, after looking through her track record, I probably shouldn't be surprised. She penned "Father" and "Brother," both pretty solid episodes. But she was also one of the three people responsible for the abomination known as "Game Night."
Hey guys. Yeah I'm coming in...19 days late. It's been a hectic September, I worked my butt off just to make sure the 100th/1 year anniversary post came in on time.
Not only that, but I'm 100% in agreement with Mike. This is my favorite part since I don't have to do anything, yay! No, seriously, for someone trying to be an author I sure hate writing and I love reading, so it's deeply satisfying to read someone else's thoughts and analysis, especially when they agree with you :)
The only thing worth adding is that I think we've seen the consequences of GMW thinking it's too clever than it is - that instead of truly returning to Boy Meets World's roots, it just bought into the hype - and stuff like Meets Gravity be it.That's why it was trying sooooo hard to be profound from the green screen opening effect/Old Town quote onwards.
Well, there's a second thing worth adding - I think the "It's not My 'Kranian Bakery, I'm dead" was their attempt at Disney Channel-friendly dark humor, but it just ended up falling flat and, well, dead. Nice try GMW staff (from this point on instead of singling out Jacobs or Menell, yeah I'm just going to blame them collectively for everything wrong - and right, when it happens. And yes even in Season 3 it happens).
Episode Grave: F. The misspelling is very intentional because that's where it freakin' belongs, right alongside Mrs. Svorski. Let that be the epitaph on this episode's tombstone.
Episode MVP: William Daniels, duh. Mike's explained why, Christian and Sean's explained why, I don't think it really needs to be explained any more why.
Extra Thoughts:
- I also agree with Mike that there are worse episodes, but both Ski Lodge and Triangle are Season 3, so that greatly improves the chances of Gravity's title as Worst S2 episode. Plus I for one am not hesitant to award multiple Fs per season. On the Gravity-Commonism-World of Terror 2 spectrum I'm not really sure how I feel about the placement, other than Gravity really did set an awful precedent, it was the worst episode by far of the string of episodes it was included with (maybe even for the entire first half of S2), and it was such a bad misfire the crew should've learned their lessons from it, not build on top of it. On the other hand, I'd eagerly rate World of Terror 2 as the worst episode of the entire series. I'm not even going to say "so far" I'm calling it now, all the way to the series finale. Not only did it manage to be horrifically bad (and given it's the Monstober episode, not in the way they intended) but by dragging Austin & Ally in with it it managed to actually spread its damage to other shows. That's an impressive feat of shit-stirring right there. The message board equivalent of that would pretty much result in an automatic suspension if not outright ban of the offending parties pretty much universal, no matter where you go. Although in all fairness by and large the whole Monstober crossover concept was an abject failure depending on the show (some shows did well with it, others...really should've been exempt for their own good).
- You know, not only all that stuff Mike talked about but even the very concept of the Monstober crossover event is a result of that "corporate thinking" our 100th/1 year anniversary post (and follow-up) talked about.
- I'd be tempted to include Our Town in a list of most overrated novels in history.
This......this episode. "Girl Meets Gravity," the season two premiere of Girl Meets World. How does one manage to talk about one of the worst episodes in the history of the series? You might remember that I have made my disdain for this episode clear on several other occasions, but I haven't seen it since its original airing. I just remember it being so bad, there was no point in ever watching it again.
I recently saw it for the second time and let me just say that I hate this episode even more now. Especially considering all the crap that this show has done since then, and you keep this episode in the back of your head through it all. When you do, you realize that the writers recognized what people didn't like about Girl Meets World a long time ago, but they don't intend to change anything because that's just the way things are supposed to be. I can't say it's the worst ever, because stuff like "World of Terror 2," "Commonism," "Triangle," and "Ski Lodge" exist. If I were putting together a bottom five so far, "Gravity" would find a place though. It's reflective of everything people can't stand about this show, and it came at a time when we were expecting a lot better. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's go.
The episode starts in the weirdest way possible: With Riley standing in front of a green screen meant to resemble the universe and talking some crap about outer space or something. I'm sorry, I just can't take this seriously. This bizarre narration by Riley is done several times throughout the episode, and each time, it just breaks up the pace and reminds me that I don't have a clue of what's going on. It would have been absolutely horrible if Riley started doing this every episode, so thank God for that, or as our narrator puts it, the mind of God. But yeah, remember Clarissa Explains It All and how Clarissa would always speak to the camera? This is what happens when you do that wrong. We're not even a few minutes in and already, I'm annoyed.
So the real important stuff starts when Riley is forced to get out of bed by Cory and Topanga. Riley doesn't want to get up even though it's the first day of school because she's afraid Cory is going to be her teacher again. Then we have a joke about how Mr. Feeny was teaching the kids all the time on Boy Meets World......because that's exactly what happened. They're not exaggerating to be funny, it's a genuinely hilarious joke that works with the situation. This is how you do meta humor correctly, when you have the history to back it up and you can poke fun at yourself. But that's pretty much all the quality self-referential jokes we're going to get tonight. Maya comes in, the girls talk about how mature they are now, kings and whatnot, then they leave barefoot. What a weird freaking joke. It's not like they forgot to put on shoes, they're just not wearing them. Why would Maya not be wearing them? Yeah, things are not looking up right now, guys.
So the kids walk into their new eighth grade class and meet the new teacher. They do this whole somewhat funny bit about how Cory let the kids do whatever they want, but this new teacher's hardcore, yo, and he's not playing around. One of the biggest problems with this show, at least at the time, is that they constantly point out things that don't make any sense, joke about it, and continue to do it. Being self-aware is pointless and unfunny if you don't plan to do anything about these problems because they seriously hinder the enjoyment of the show. By doing this, it's like a middle finger to the fans because you're essentially saying that nothing is going to change. Joking about it over and over again doesn't fix anything. And of course, Riley and Maya act like socially awkward weirdos and get the new teacher out of there.
Guess who their teacher is going to be now? You'll never guess. Could it be............yup, Cory. Betcha didn't see that coming, lol.
Look, we all know Cory was going to be the teacher again. There was some hope, but they kept beating it into you how things were going to change that when Cory finally walked through the door, none of it mattered. We all knew what was coming but they kept dragging it out.
So of course, Riley and Maya don't want to deal with Cory again and decide to leave for a new class. Meanwhile, at the bakery that we're just now seeing for the first time in ages, Mrs. Svorski is doing her shtick with Topanga and Auggie. Also, green screen Riley talked about sipping on gin and juice from the sun, the stars, and the moon. I don't know, something like that. Anyway, it seems like Mrs. Svorski knows something we don't and wants to be ready for it so she passes ownership of the bakery to Topanga. It must be really stressful to juggle, what with the lawyer job and all, but she accepts anyway. I guess the Ukrainian bakery joke is pretty funny. Maybe it's just the accent.
So back at school, Riley and Maya meet their new teacher and classmates. It's literally the same joke as before. The girls expect the world to cater to them and for things to go one way, but then they go the other way and they don't know how to handle it. Right now, Riley and Maya are insufferable. When your two protagonists are off their game and no one picks up the slack, that's a serious problem. Of course, this classroom scene is unique because the joke is that there are Riley, Maya, Farkle, and Lucas clones here. Except that's not a joke because none of it is funny. I'm serious, I'm just sitting here not understanding what's going on at all. We know what the lesson is here, but that's not going to stop them from hammering it in as much as they can, because kids can't pick up on subtlety at all and they're dumb. Seriously, at this point, just make the theme song "Sledgehammer" by Fifth Harmony and rewrite some of the lyrics. It's going to work just as well.
There's another thing I want to talk about since they keep doing it: The self-referential stuff. It gets very annoying very fast because the writers are relying on it as the one joke. It's not funny because these problems have plagued the show for a while, and the writers have done absolutely nothing to change that. Well, not absolutely nothing. To the show's credit, it did improve after this episode, but it just ended up with other problems. Also, it almost feels like Girl Meets World hasn't earned the right to make fun of itself. These meta jokes come off like the show has been on the air for years and is just now deciding to respond to critics. I would compare this to "Eric Hollywood," but what's the point? That's the kind of comedic brilliance that GMW has never reached.
Let's just save time here. Riley and Maya head to the bakery and it's pretty obvious that Riley is annoyed. For some reason, it feels like her parents are constantly circling her, like planets as she explicitly states because nobody was getting the metaphor before. No, seriously, thank you for being so on the nose about it. I didn't get it when you have been staring at me through outer space several times, breaking up the pace of the episode and wasting my time by trying to come off as deep. So it turns out that the girls find out about Mrs. Svorski's plans and Topanga is now the owner of the bakery, their supposed hangout. I say supposed because I've never seen these two step foot in this place before this episode, and after this episode, they spend all their time there so why are they complaining? Riley doesn't have to go to 'Krainian bakery if she doesn't want to see her mother. Who hangs out at a place like this anyway?
Topanga has also brought in Maya's mother to help out, and this gets the girls so freaking hot.......with rage, get your minds out of the gutter. They just flat out say that they don't want their parents all up in the videos dancing anymore. God, can somebody slap Riley and Maya? I haven't enjoyed either of them in this episode, and they've had the most screen time so I can't just ignore it. All they do until the you know what scene is complain about everything and talk in ways that suggest they know they're on a TV show. Look, I love meta humor and breaking the fourth wall. When it's done well, self-references can be absolutely hilarious. But this is just too much and none of it is even funny. So Riley and Maya sit down in the bakery as the Matthews family leaves. Mrs. Svorski is on the far end of the bakery and it looks like her bones are going to fade into dust through the walls as Auggie looks at her one last time. Apparently, she gave him a present, which should be a cause for concern because she's not acting like she's retiring. She's acting like, well...................
...................anyway, we cut back to Riley doing her best Carl Sagan impression. It looks really weird because she's not looking at the camera and it's even more apparent that she's standing in front of something so the illusion of the Milky Way is gone. Then she walks to her left next to a picture of Mrs. Svorski and it turns out that Riley has given this off-kilter, inappropriate speech in front of a small crowd of people who came to honor Mrs. Svorski after she killed herself. Yeah, she killed herself, I'm going with that. When this episode first aired, we all knew Svorski was going to die. It was just a matter of how. We're never told how, but considering everything that we saw in this episode, I don't think Mrs. Svorski just knew that it was her time. She was trying to end it all and no one seemed to realize her cry for help but since this is a kids show, that's not really something we're ever going to address. But yeah........the woman committed suicide.
With that being said, this is absolutely jarring. It's one thing for Riley to do this narration away from the episode because it at least helps kids understand the metaphor even more than they already did. But you really expect me to believe that Riley Matthews gave this long-winded, metaphorical, bizarre speech at the wake of some woman she barely knew? No, I'm not buying what this episode is selling. It's funny because Riley talks about not being the center of attention, but she's taking the time at a reception for a woman she barely knew to explain how she learned that? It's just so abrupt to cut from the other bakery scene to Riley's narration to this. "Oh yeah, kids, it's okay. Mrs. Svorski most likely splattered her brains all over the walls, but Riley learned her lesson so it's all good that she's saying all this." I'm sorry, but I don't feel anything for this scene. We barely knew Mrs. Svorski ourselves as fans, so this scene just comes off as needlessly sappy and a way for the lesson to be taught as blatant as humanly possible.
Also, Mrs. Svorski left Auggie a suicide note in her present because apparently, that's something you do to a little kid. "It's not my 'Krainian bakery. I'm dead." I don't know why in God's name she thought it was okay to give Auggie that, and that pretty much confirms the theory that she killed herself, but either way, that's the funniest thing in the whole episode. I swear, it's just so unexpected and callous, that I can't help but laugh at it. It's definitely the best joke in these 22 minutes of anti-humor.
What comes next is truly one of the most heartwarming moments in the entire series. Cory calls up Mr. Feeny late at night just to see if he's alright. Feeny confirms that he's alive and well, and that's the end of the episode. That one scene is seriously what keeps this episode from getting an F, and if I didn't know better, I would say that they put this scene in just to save the whole thing.
So yeah, I still hate this episode just as much as I did when I first watched it. There's really not much to it other than a lesson bashed over your head constantly, smug meta humor, Riley and Maya being turned up to 11 just so they could learn the lesson, and a forced attempt at emotion by killing off a character we barely knew. I mean, when Sesame Street killed off Mr. Hooper, they........you know what? I'm not even going to state the obvious. Mr. Hooper's death was everything that Mrs. Svorski's wasn't, especially considering the fact that Mr. Hooper never left Big Bird a suicide note like this: "I'm dead. No one else is going to make your birdseed milkshakes, so get on with your life." Seriously, this episode was so embarrassing to watch the first time. It was the season premiere, and they decided to open it up with that? It almost seemed like Girl Meets World didn't want to change, and considering everything else we've seen since then, that just might be true.
Episode Grade: D-
Episode MVP: William Daniels. The Cory/Feeny scene deserved a way better episode to belong to.
Credit to Christian from GMWReviewed for coming up with the Mrs. Svorski suicide theory.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
-I will be forever grateful to the writers of this show for changing Farkle's character.......and sticking to it. This episode reminded me just how satisfying "Yearbook" was.
-The Farkle Time bit was actually pretty funny too. I don't think anybody has referred to using the bathroom as taking a farkle.
-Apparently, Riley's narration stuff was supposed to be a reference to the play Our Town. The play is also explicitly mentioned twice, so there's evidence to back it up. I've never read Our Town, but I have to assume there was nuance and subtlety when it used this narration compared to this episode.
-Seriously, it's really weird how Mrs. Svorski acts in this episode, just knowing she's going to die soon and no one ever questions it. They kinda just ignore what she's doing the whole time. I'm still holding onto the suicide thing, especially since Moesha did this exact same plot. The main difference is when one of Moesha's friends did what Svorski did, she was actually going to kill herself. Put this episode in the hands of a different show and I don't think it turns out the same way.
-I was going to use my regular green for this but I started writing in black and I realized that it looks really nice. This might become my new color.
-I'm honestly surprised Joshua Jacobs or anyone else in the family didn't write this. It was actually Randi Barnes. Then again, after looking through her track record, I probably shouldn't be surprised. She penned "Father" and "Brother," both pretty solid episodes. But she was also one of the three people responsible for the abomination known as "Game Night."
Hey guys. Yeah I'm coming in...19 days late. It's been a hectic September, I worked my butt off just to make sure the 100th/1 year anniversary post came in on time.
Not only that, but I'm 100% in agreement with Mike. This is my favorite part since I don't have to do anything, yay! No, seriously, for someone trying to be an author I sure hate writing and I love reading, so it's deeply satisfying to read someone else's thoughts and analysis, especially when they agree with you :)
The only thing worth adding is that I think we've seen the consequences of GMW thinking it's too clever than it is - that instead of truly returning to Boy Meets World's roots, it just bought into the hype - and stuff like Meets Gravity be it.That's why it was trying sooooo hard to be profound from the green screen opening effect/Old Town quote onwards.
Well, there's a second thing worth adding - I think the "It's not My 'Kranian Bakery, I'm dead" was their attempt at Disney Channel-friendly dark humor, but it just ended up falling flat and, well, dead. Nice try GMW staff (from this point on instead of singling out Jacobs or Menell, yeah I'm just going to blame them collectively for everything wrong - and right, when it happens. And yes even in Season 3 it happens).
Episode Grave: F. The misspelling is very intentional because that's where it freakin' belongs, right alongside Mrs. Svorski. Let that be the epitaph on this episode's tombstone.
Episode MVP: William Daniels, duh. Mike's explained why, Christian and Sean's explained why, I don't think it really needs to be explained any more why.
Extra Thoughts:
- I also agree with Mike that there are worse episodes, but both Ski Lodge and Triangle are Season 3, so that greatly improves the chances of Gravity's title as Worst S2 episode. Plus I for one am not hesitant to award multiple Fs per season. On the Gravity-Commonism-World of Terror 2 spectrum I'm not really sure how I feel about the placement, other than Gravity really did set an awful precedent, it was the worst episode by far of the string of episodes it was included with (maybe even for the entire first half of S2), and it was such a bad misfire the crew should've learned their lessons from it, not build on top of it. On the other hand, I'd eagerly rate World of Terror 2 as the worst episode of the entire series. I'm not even going to say "so far" I'm calling it now, all the way to the series finale. Not only did it manage to be horrifically bad (and given it's the Monstober episode, not in the way they intended) but by dragging Austin & Ally in with it it managed to actually spread its damage to other shows. That's an impressive feat of shit-stirring right there. The message board equivalent of that would pretty much result in an automatic suspension if not outright ban of the offending parties pretty much universal, no matter where you go. Although in all fairness by and large the whole Monstober crossover concept was an abject failure depending on the show (some shows did well with it, others...really should've been exempt for their own good).
- You know, not only all that stuff Mike talked about but even the very concept of the Monstober crossover event is a result of that "corporate thinking" our 100th/1 year anniversary post (and follow-up) talked about.
- I'd be tempted to include Our Town in a list of most overrated novels in history.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
The Current State of This Blog and Updates (for the five of you who care)
Hey ya'll. How ya doin?
Yeah that was awkward but I can't think of a better intro. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere for the long term (for the five of you who bother to read us) but as you've noticed there hasn't been any activity in nearly a month. That's for a few reasons which I'll get into below along with what we will be doing (or are doing) soon:
- For starters, this blog (well, me) bids a fond and hopefully temporary farewell to Mike, who is the best thing that's ever happened to my blogging life (yes I have a blogging life beyond this blogging life...which doesn't leave a lot of room for an actual life). See, Mike just graduated high school and is now off to college. Having a dual education and aerospace degree (either one of those is pretty tough on their own needless to say, especially the aerospace one) I know first-hand adjusting to the college life is pretty busy, and so for that reason I won't even start bothering Mike to come back until, say, mid-October. So that's about how long his vacation from here's going to be, and it'll be a well-deserved vacation (hopefully he'll make good use of it!)
- As for me, I've been largely just enjoying the summer vacation time myself, as well as making plans and adjustments for when that summer vacation time is inevitably over (104 days of summer and all) including a major career shift that, hopefully and if anything, will mean additional time and skills sets that can be put into vastly improving this blog especially with Mike's (again hopefully temporary) absence. In the meantime, expect only minor updates and mini-reviews until no later than after Labor Day (the way things are looking actually, potentially a whole week afterwards).
- You probably haven't noticed this yet if you've only been paying attention to the front page but I went ahead and and made updates to most of our previous reviews (this entire process took five hours). Since we cover a lot more than, say, GirlMeetsWorldReviewed.com - other shows on Disney Channel, other shows on Nickelodeon, DCOMs/NOMs, even the occasional non-kid fare - I've decided it'd help our single-digit readership if they had a better idea of what the heck they're reading in the first place. So to that end, nearly all of our reviews now start off with a description of just what the heck it is, who the heck stars in it, what the heck network airs it, what the heck genre it is and above all why the heck we're reviewing it in the first place (if it's pretty obvious that what's being reviewed has something to do with children's entertainment, and since that's the mission statement of this blog, such explanations are going to be pretty terse so that's one way to tell). You'll note a pretty glaring exception to this - Girl Meets World. That's because we've done so many of those damn reviews (nearly as much as GMWReviewed itself since we've started) it just got tedious and again, we've done so many of them and most of the readership is already familiar with it (it is called Girl Meets World after all) it didn't seem worth the effort to spend potentially another three or so hours on top of what I've already done. If you can't figure out what Girl Meets World is and why we're reviewing it by now, then the only thing I have to say is I hope you're at least smart enough to figure out what a ballot is come November.
- Our one-year anniversary is coming up very soon (and, incidentally, this post marks +1 more in what we've done in 2016 so far than what we've done in all of 2015 as well as our 997th post overall - yes I originally said 99th because I'm terrible at math, hence why I'm an English teacher and not an aerospace engineer now). Especially with Mike's absence I don't know if we'll do anything other than a "hey we're one year old now" post (which given our track record will probably be late anyway). Maybe we'll combine our 100th and 1-year anniversary post? (If so, it will be our 100th post by technicality since there are a few "hidden" posts we've yet to publish, reviews of GMW and other shows we're still polishing).
That's pretty much it - no point in going into detail about the minor updates and mini-reviews when doing so will require almost as much effort as simply writing them. So hang tight there, more's on the way soon.
Wow. It's really, really funny you mention this because I was just about to make a post myself about the state of this blog. I'm going to check out some of your other blog posts here to see those changes firsthand, but I do have some thoughts on Girl Meets World that I want to share in my next blog post.
But, yeah, I'm going to post sporadically from this point forward, at least until I'm ready to commit fully again and I actually have more material to review. I'm definitely not leaving for good, but maybe I'll write up some reviews in the interim and post them later. Hopefully, I see you sooner rather than later and we can get this blog back in the swing of things, partner. :)
Yeah that was awkward but I can't think of a better intro. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere for the long term (for the five of you who bother to read us) but as you've noticed there hasn't been any activity in nearly a month. That's for a few reasons which I'll get into below along with what we will be doing (or are doing) soon:
- For starters, this blog (well, me) bids a fond and hopefully temporary farewell to Mike, who is the best thing that's ever happened to my blogging life (yes I have a blogging life beyond this blogging life...which doesn't leave a lot of room for an actual life). See, Mike just graduated high school and is now off to college. Having a dual education and aerospace degree (either one of those is pretty tough on their own needless to say, especially the aerospace one) I know first-hand adjusting to the college life is pretty busy, and so for that reason I won't even start bothering Mike to come back until, say, mid-October. So that's about how long his vacation from here's going to be, and it'll be a well-deserved vacation (hopefully he'll make good use of it!)
- As for me, I've been largely just enjoying the summer vacation time myself, as well as making plans and adjustments for when that summer vacation time is inevitably over (104 days of summer and all) including a major career shift that, hopefully and if anything, will mean additional time and skills sets that can be put into vastly improving this blog especially with Mike's (again hopefully temporary) absence. In the meantime, expect only minor updates and mini-reviews until no later than after Labor Day (the way things are looking actually, potentially a whole week afterwards).
- You probably haven't noticed this yet if you've only been paying attention to the front page but I went ahead and and made updates to most of our previous reviews (this entire process took five hours). Since we cover a lot more than, say, GirlMeetsWorldReviewed.com - other shows on Disney Channel, other shows on Nickelodeon, DCOMs/NOMs, even the occasional non-kid fare - I've decided it'd help our single-digit readership if they had a better idea of what the heck they're reading in the first place. So to that end, nearly all of our reviews now start off with a description of just what the heck it is, who the heck stars in it, what the heck network airs it, what the heck genre it is and above all why the heck we're reviewing it in the first place (if it's pretty obvious that what's being reviewed has something to do with children's entertainment, and since that's the mission statement of this blog, such explanations are going to be pretty terse so that's one way to tell). You'll note a pretty glaring exception to this - Girl Meets World. That's because we've done so many of those damn reviews (nearly as much as GMWReviewed itself since we've started) it just got tedious and again, we've done so many of them and most of the readership is already familiar with it (it is called Girl Meets World after all) it didn't seem worth the effort to spend potentially another three or so hours on top of what I've already done. If you can't figure out what Girl Meets World is and why we're reviewing it by now, then the only thing I have to say is I hope you're at least smart enough to figure out what a ballot is come November.
- Our one-year anniversary is coming up very soon (and, incidentally, this post marks +1 more in what we've done in 2016 so far than what we've done in all of 2015 as well as our 9
That's pretty much it - no point in going into detail about the minor updates and mini-reviews when doing so will require almost as much effort as simply writing them. So hang tight there, more's on the way soon.
Wow. It's really, really funny you mention this because I was just about to make a post myself about the state of this blog. I'm going to check out some of your other blog posts here to see those changes firsthand, but I do have some thoughts on Girl Meets World that I want to share in my next blog post.
But, yeah, I'm going to post sporadically from this point forward, at least until I'm ready to commit fully again and I actually have more material to review. I'm definitely not leaving for good, but maybe I'll write up some reviews in the interim and post them later. Hopefully, I see you sooner rather than later and we can get this blog back in the swing of things, partner. :)
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