Mike's Quest, Part 4 ( "Game Shippers")

 From Drake & Josh to iCarly to.........whatever this is.

Hi. My name is Mike Anderson and this is my quest. I'm like that guy. That Spanish guy. You know, the one who fought the windmills? I don't know, Don Quixote or something. Anyway, I'm on a mission to review at least one episode of every live-action sitcom currently running on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. Will I be able to do it by the end of the year? Very low chance of that happening, but I don't see the point in forgetting about this. It keeps me busy. The rules I made up a year ago no longer apply since too much time has passed, but I do have one question:

Should I review I Am Frankie or not? Let me know in the comment section, or maybe Ray can fill me in on if the show's worth the time.

I haven't even seen it yet, I'm just letting it build up on my DVR like everything else.

Hey, did you know that Seth MacFarlane has a new show? It's like a Star Trek spoof or something. Hey, I did a review of it down below! You can, like, add your thoughts to it!

Shows reviewed: The Thundermans, Liv & Maddie, Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn

Shows yet to review: Bunk'd, School of Rock, Stuck in the Middle, K.C. Undercover, Raven's Home, Andi Mack, Bizaardvark

I'm not going to beat around the bush here: Game Shakers sucks. You probably already knew that, but yeah, Game Shakers sucks. The only thing about the show that surprises me is how long I took to review it. I could have torn the pilot to shreds, but it's not fair to any show to do that. Even if the pilot was aggressively terrible (and it was), letting a show develop and figure itself out is important to understand as a viewer. But after two years, I'm not giving it the benefit of the doubt anymore. This show is just as bad as it was in season one. It hasn't made any attempt to improve from what I can see. Hudson is still mentally disabled saying random things at random times because stupid people are funny, Kel Mitchell is still acting circles around the rest of the cast, and this is still a waste of Benjamin Flores, Jr.'s time.  In a perfect world, The Haunted Hathaways would have been given more seasons.

I've been watching episodes of The Haunted Hathaways on TeenNick (you know what else is weird? That it's TeenNick, not TeeNick, like they haven't yet caught on to the fact that Teen ends with an "N" and Nick starts with an "N") and even though I've seen every single episode of The Haunted Hathaways new (well, except for the penultimate episode, Haunted Swamp or whatever, but I did eventually see that one anyway) after watching them more recently I've concluded that...this series was actually kind of awful, too. A good three quarters of it really is just Taylor (that's Amber Montana, now Amber Frank) getting gunk'd on, or other crap happening to her, and a part of me has to wonder if all that didn't effect her outlook on the whole acting gig period. 

You have to remember, the period starting at the very beginning of 2013 (really even into 2012, pretty much as soon as iCarly ended) all the way to 2015 (when THH got canceled) wasn't a good time for Nickelodeon at all. They were cancelling series left and right and especially at the beginning of that period, 2013-14, they really basically handed Disney Channel any ratings advantage they wanted on a bright, shiny silver platter. That was a real golden time for Disney Channel (well, continuing the golden era that started all the way back with Wizards of Waverly Place) and while they had shows that gave that golden era legitimacy (Good Luck Charlie, Jessie, Austin & Ally, Shake it Up, Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, even A.N.T. Farm were all pretty much at their peak at that time) it's easy to think that the relatively weak state of Nickelodeon helped bolster that position even further. Along those lines, the ratings for both THH and Thundermans were in the proverbial toilet (quite literally, worse than Sam & Cat, so think about that), and it's very likely both would've been canceled at that point in 2015 if it weren't for the fact that had Nickelodeon actually done that, it would've wiped their live-action slate completely clean - when live-action multi-cams were still their bread and butter at the time (this being at the very end of the era when Nickelodeon bet the farm on live-action multi-cams from the height of the Schneider era and before the current era when Nickelodeon started to fall back more on animation - heck it's probably because of this that Nickelodeon started to fall back on animation again) and when they just didn't have enough new shows waiting in the wings to pick up the slack had both been canceled. So one series had to survive guaranteed, in the same way Chrylser wasn't going to back down from their new Pacifica minivan because even if it had failed it would've meant they had dang near literally zero cars to actually sell (no seriously, go on their website and you can see for yourself that they have exactly two car models to offer, the Pacifica and the ancient 300). With all that said, Thundermans was easily the stronger of the two at the time so it was a no-brainer, and it just so happened that Thundermans also found its voice in the second season and went on to not only become the network's ratings juggernaut but go on for a total of four seasons, the first show to do so since Big Time Rush and there was serious talk about the show even getting a fifth season, something the network's seen exactly once out of its live-action shows in the form of iCarly. So I'll admit, it does make one wonder what would've happened if they had simply renewed both shows instead of been so cancel-happy at the time.

But at the very least, yeah, THH is infinitely better than Game Shakers, even at that show's worst.

 "Sky Whale" was, not even kidding, the worst pilot episode I've seen of any show. It's really interesting that the show is at the same level of quality now that it was when it first started. At least Henry Danger was somewhat decent at first until it became absolutely unbearable and stupid every episode. The bar continues to be lowered with everything that Dan Schneider creates, and this episode emphasized that. Why make an actual story when we can spend the entire runtime reminding you how great iCarly was?

So the episode is about iCarly stans Babe and Kenzie trying to meet Nathan Kress so they can ask him who Freddie ended up liking on the show. This is the big question that will pull people in: Who was Freddie into more? Who do you ship? Who cares at all? The one thing I wanted to talk about here was that we're now officially at the point where iCarly is considered a classic show. You know, to the point where they have the characters reference it as this great thing and call it "classic." I mean, I get the motivation since this was arguably Dan Schneider's most popular show and got a lot of mainstream attention during its run. But the show just ended a few years ago. Are we already looking at it as this all-time legendary kid sitcom? The show dipped in quality after a certain point, and a lot of what it did was like a slightly better version of whatever these shows do now. Imagine a few years down the line where these Schneider shows start referencing Victorious and Sam & Cat and praising them as shows on the level of All That or Hey Arnold.

That underlining and bold'ing was me, Ray, BTW. I did that for emphasis because they already started doing that. In the latest episodes of Henry Danger, Live and Dangerous Pts. 1 and 2, BTW. In reference to Sam & Cat, no less (at least Victorious more than kinda deserves that level of praise, prior to "Season 4" at least). 

We'll get to Live and Dangerous too, BTW.

You know what? This could be an entirely different post. Bottom line, watching this episode was a waste of time. All it did was advertise the iCarly marathon that Teenick had a few weeks ago. "Hey, the characters love this hilarious and intelligent show! I should watch it too!" The only plot here has no resolution. Nathan tells the kids that he doesn't know who Freddie ended up with since he wasn't a writer or producer so how the hell would he even be able to answer that question? Then right before he tells them who he thinks Freddie would be with, something happens with Double G and the episode just ends. Literally the only reason to watch this episode gets killed in the last few minutes. They baited you with the guest appearance of an actor you remember from that show you liked when you were younger, and don't even answer their own question. What was the point of making this an episode other than elevating the status of iCarly to kids who were probably too young to remember it? In between that, there's nothing else to keep you interested. The jokes are unfunny, the characters just talk about the show and how good it was, and it doesn't even look like Nathan himself wanted to be there. This isn't even a Game Shakers episode, it's just a commercial for Dan Schneider's last good show. And it's a little pathetic that they felt the need to do this. iCarly was a successful, beloved show in its time, and not only was it a ratings hit, but it had quotable moments and scored high-profile guest stars. It was never an underrated show that deserved more attention or got cancelled before its time like Victorious. It can stand on its own two feet. But this episode obviously had a different opinion.

Episode Grade: F
Episode MVP: Kel Mitchell, by default. Seriously, him and his entourage are what save this show from being 100% unwatchable. The funniest moment in the series is during the Christmas episode where Double G performs "Jingle Bells" and ends up getting his head caught on fire. He's just running around the whole time and his crew stands around like idiots having no idea what to do about it. It was absolutely hilarious and I feel bad for everything Kel does to make this show worth a damn.

EXTRA THOUGHTS
-The only notable thing I got from this episode wasn't even from this episode. It was actually afterwards on this new hangout show on Nick where I found out that there will be a Henry Danger/Game Shakers crossover in November. I have no idea how that will work or why this is happening, but from the looks of it, it will be a Henry Danger episode. Not that it matters, but, you know. I look forward to trashing it when it comes out. Besides, crossovers are always fun to me. In this one, I finally find out which show is worse.

-The way this episode's conflict is set up is just so weird. Babe and Kenzie are watching the iCarly marathon on Teenick (which they essentially say so this is self-promotion) and having a good old time. But they're not watching actual episodes, they're just watching random scenes from the series. And it's not like there's any indication that time has passed, because every time they cut to the screen, they show a random clip. It's like they're watching a YouTube compilation video, which would make more sense. Then Triple G and Hudson join in and just start laughing at these clips with zero context. Then Double G and his crew come in and start watching too. Then they all fall asleep having watched the random clip marathon for several hours. There's no conflict here or anything, it's just that they overslept even though the episode makes it seem like Babe and Kenzie should have been doing something else. That's when Hudson asks if the show ever revealed who Freddie ended up with. Why did they put in this scene of everyone watching iCarly? What does it add to the plot other than telling us that iCarly is now getting the Drake and Josh treatment? The only good thing that comes out of this is Double G referring to the show as a less funny version of Kenan and Kel. I loved that joke, but that's the only sign of humility that this episode gives us.

-Also, the conflict itself is pretty dumb. Why would the majority of iCarly fans care about who Freddie ended up with? Was that something that people kept asking Dan so he made this episode? Besides, there's proof that he liked both girls depending on who you ship. The series finale gave Freddie a win with Carly's goodbye kiss, but that Sam & Cat episode indicated that Freddie might have been willing to give Sam another chance. So everybody's happy and I shouldn't even be talking about this because that's not what I signed up to do.

-Another weird scene is where Triple G, Hudson, Double G, and his boys are hosting an iCarly viewing party in the middle of the day. What the hell is going on here? Don't these people have work or school? What day is this? They're just dancing around eating spaghetti tacos and having a good old time. I get that this appeals to iCarly fans (except me), but couldn't they have actually tried to write a decent story revolving around the show while not making it seem like it's the greatest thing Nickelodeon ever made?

-Hudson said some dumb shit in this episode, but I can't remember it at all. I actually want to talk about Hudson for a minute. He's probably the worst character Dan Schneider has created in a long time. He literally just exists to say random non-sequiturs and stupid one-liners that aren't funny at all. I don't know why people are obsessed with stupid characters so much. They have no value to the show if they're only capable of saying and doing dumb things and the characters hate them as much as the audience does. I'm not saying shows shouldn't have stupid characters, but you need to flesh them out and give them more traits beyond being stupid. Their stupidity shouldn't define who they are. Drake Parker is a great example. He did poorly in school, and didn't always catch on to things but cared deeply about his music, was charismatic, and made up for what he lacked in brains with his social skills. Plus, he was at least aware of how stupid he was and some great jokes were made from his stupidity. Hudson will never have a "South Amareeca" moment because at least 96% of what he says is "South Amareeca" shit. This is what his dialogue sounds like:

BABE: We really need to work on this game.

KENZIE: I know! You don't have to jump on my back!

TRIP: Will you guys calm down?

HUDSON: If tomatoes are a fruit, then are lemons vegetables?

-How long is this season supposed to be? Benjamin Flores, Jr.'s voice has already changed but in the episodes airing now, Trip still sounds the same. It feels like this season is never going to end because of how much it has been stretched out.

-Game Shakers is based in New York. I want the city to be associated with shows like Power and Everybody Hates Chris, not this crap.