Shows of the decade: 2009-2011 (the peak)

So it’s that time where we don’t just reflect on the fact that it’s near the end of the year but that it’s 2019 which means next year three whole digits on the calendar change and people reflect their best of decade lists, even though the decade technically ends after 11:59 pm Dec 31 2020 so....

Also this is my first long post on phone, it’s the only practical way I’m gonna have the time and energy to do this anymore. But some features are gonna be limited because Blogspot/Blogger is hot garbage (like this weird bug that, if you try to apply text edits or formatting it defaults to the freakin' title bar) so...so now the like three of you know....

I’m starting the “decade” by rolling it back to 2009 since that’s a pretty important year for both networks (if you check out NickAndMore on Twitter - which I hope you do - the Google search metrics suggest 2009-2011 was the peak for both networks). This was also a good three years before I actually started watching either network so this is going to entirely be second hand info, or shows I watched as reruns after-the-fact (with the exceptions of shows still premiering when I watched of course, , but even those episodes were different from the first seasons for a few technical and creative reasons). Speaking of which, a big technical reason was HD - 2009 was when both networks more or less totally switched to 1080p.

But 2009-2011 was a huge watershed period for both networks - but let’s talk about what shows had been running up to that point first.

Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows were very different, true, but I think more similar than people might realize. Phil of the Future, That’s So Raven and Cory in the House, along with Drake and Josh and Amanda Show has already left being solidly on the Dubya era, as great as most those shows still are today. Hannah Montana, Suite Life on Deck, Wizards of Waverly Place, and iCarly were such long-runners they started well in the era prior to HD and the latter two would even extend beyond the era covered here, albeit just barely.

I don’t think it’s easy to overstate how immensely important these shows were to the networks or even tween pop culture in general at the time, and to their credit I think few people do. But it’s important to realize how these shows changed, and how the shows that came after differed (and how those shows were influenced by newer shows of this era) but how they’re still influential today, maybe even more so.

But the fact is, these shows were solidly in the tween demo, smack dab in middle school. In fact I don’t think Hannah Montana and SLoD made any effort to grow from there at all - but we’re jumping ahead a bit. I’m not saying a 7th grade tweener show can’t be great - I’m literally talking about some now - but they’re very hard to take seriously from a “this culturally matters” standpoint. They were culturally *relevant* but relevance is fleeting. To *matter* is to be enduring, and endearing.

And HM can’t help but come off as cynical towards its tweener demo. Very much after school special plotlines, very white bread lessons on schoolyard crushes that deep down the afflicted lovers know has the permanence of a gnat - I’m sorry but while I do find the show legitimately entertaining and even good, I can’t blame people for giving this show such a cynically harsh reputation as it has. Likewise JONAS which was more or less a single cam gender swap version but...again a little ahead of ourselves.

And SLoD was...well.... It’s early episodes carried over a charm that ZaC had, particularly Monster Mash(?) and International Date Line are ones that stick out. But in the final season they went all A.N.T.Farm and doubled down on tweener lowest common denominator humor.

WoWP and iCarly on the other hand grew with their audiences and screwed real street cred in the process. I’m not saying actual *teen* shows had it any easier getting “does this culturally matter” recognition, but these two shows made it seem like it. I mean, Emma Stone at the height of Emma Stone. Just showing up randomly more or less just to claim she’s on iCarly. And just to be clear this wasn’t a stunt *Emma Stone legit just wanted to be on iCarly.* And Shakira on WoWP, along with Jeff Garlin (including not just with Shakira but as it turns out actually as Shakira), Rob Reiner, I want to say Dwayne Johnson maybe? All of this from a show apparently on the bubble right after its first season and derided as just cashing in on Harry Potter mania.

Because both those shows bothered to grow, in more ways than one. They transitioned from mid tweener at best to late tweener/early high school and even into teens and saw major success and are fondly remembered to this day a decade later. And this would be hugely influential on shows just coming out this period and into the next, although I don’t know if you can really say which had influence over what.

But it was clear Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were gonna go upmarket and up-age.

For Disney Channel it was hedging bets to still have massive middle tweener appeal and split the difference with more overall family appeal too. Sonny With a Chance (the network’s first multi cam show to be shot and aired in HD from the first episode) was still very much a tweener show at heart and because of circumstance didn’t get an opportunity to grow. Shake it Up likewise - but it *did* have a Chance (that’s intentional capitalization because I’m calling back to Sonny...oh nevermind). Plus it’s very premise - not so much the song and dance but the two stars as friends, and the diverse, hip ensemble built around them even up to Caroline “wtf that’s actually her name/wtf she actually works for Trump now” Sunshine - has massive growth potential in terms of demo age. But also not without controversy - even from Demi Lovato who had just barely left the network at that point.

Good Luck Charlie would have no trouble avoiding that controversy, practically by design. An immensely charming and endearing show, it remains to this day one of my most favorite shows period, and even most important. Arguably more of a throwback to the family programs that defined ABC’s TGIF block and Wednesday night in the 90s, the show had solid writing to appeal to all ages and compared to practically all else was well-grounded almost to the point of, again, charm. GLC was a celebration of family and just being a normal teenage girl - a multi cam Lizzie McGuire almost a decade later, or an updated Disney Channel Clarissa Knows Best some two decades later. It was almost groundbreaking for how relatable it was - and while it doesn’t have the diversity sensibilities of today it still stands true (and while we do have similar shows with better representation we’re still lacking that age and maturity Bridgit Mendler brought to her role, exuding not only that relatability but that whole, I’m Really A Cool Girl vibe - but we’re jumping *way* ahead into the decade now with Sydney to the Max and a return to going “young-market”).

Nickelodeon, on the other hand, wasn’t going to waste time with super-broad appeal. They dominated  in the two decades prior by being super focused towards boys - but moreover by appealing to their inflated sense of maturity - and at the start of the 2010s they were determined to repeat history with being the go-to network for older tween and teen girls with iCarly’s Dan Schneider showing the way.

Dan Schneider - for all his faults, and not the least of which the allegations against him, something that as my long time readers (all three of you) know I insist on making a big deal of - well, you have to say, he had an insanely uncanny knack of understanding cool at this time. I mean, he outright *mastered* it. iCarly was leading the way after all - but it paled in comparison to the distaff counterpart to his own Drake and Josh, Zoey 101. Now mostly remembered for controversies specific to Jamie Lynn Spears which today are painfully unfair and unwarranted, this was Nickelodeon’s perfect answer to Good Luck Charlie even before Good Luck Charlie. Removing the parents entirely, the show concentrated on “relatability through coolness.” Zoey was relatable because despite being forced to endure through such antics not so much zany as outright insane, and even being socially disadvantaged, Zoey managed to do so while being just so damn cool.

Schneider doubled down on this with his next show as Zoey 101 bowed out near the beginning of this era, with what could arguably be considered his crown jewel - a show with its title stylized as VicTORious. Practically a John Hughes flick perfectly updated for 2010 as a multi cam comedy on basic cable, the show utterly oozed cool. Tori Vega is probably one of the most relatable characters in the history of either network for the same reasons Zoey had been, but supercharged - the plots were zanier and sometimes the whole world was against her, and rarely did she ever totally win, but even drenched in rain, trapped in a parade float or dragged by dogs she and her diverse entourage of friends always came off as the coolest teens on the planet. Schneider just got it.

Not just Schneider, it turns out. True Jackson, VP (a show I just literally started watching) - the show that launched Keke Palmer’s career - also exuded and oozed cool effortlessly. Effectively a mini-me-ized version of the late 90s/early 2000s solidly adult sitcom Just Shoot Me (incidentally a fave of mine back in the day - man I’m old) but with a diverse cast of teens, it leveraged its actors and setting to make the world seem much, much cooler than it actually is.

And of course you can't forget about animation - although Phineas and Ferb (premiered back in 2007) and SpongeBob Squarepants (which dates back to the prior millennium) had dominated Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, respectively, as far as animation goes - something that P&F would continue to do so well beyond this era and SpongeBob...well, quite possibly forever, practically. That said I cannot underemphasize their impact on both networks or the wider pop culture - there's a reason why SpongeBob has lasted so long, with at least three theatrical movies and a freakin' musical. And Phineas and Ferb ended up being a big reason why I even ended up watching either network in the first place, so I owe it quite a hefty piece of personal nostalgia. We also can't forget Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender - arguably something that should've been more influential than it already had been. Unfortunately I ended up missing The Last Airbender boat - but don't worry, I'll have more things to say in the next era to be covered.

When examining the shows from Disney Channel and Nickelodeon from this era, there’s a lot to consider - especially since this is arguably the most influential era of either network’s entire histories, or at least in relevance to today’s live-action programming. Hannah Montana has raw popularity to be a cultural force, WoWP, SiU and GLC carried a lot of force deep into the decade and iCarly showed that these networks can be cool even to an older demo - much, much older in fact - and again we can't forget the raw popularity and brilliance of Phineas and Ferb and, yes, SpongeBob (and at least for cartoons P&F far away takes my vote for this era)...but if we’re determining the greatest of this era, and possibly the whole decade, I think it’s going to have to be VicTORious. Being a sort of middle child, and by the end of its run being seen as something of an already bygone era with some behind the scenes issues that have only now come to light, it wasn’t as influential as iCarly or the shows at the crosstown rival, but to this day it still feels the coolest, the freshest and even the most relatable. A very close second, and taking first for Disney Channel is Good Luck Charlie, but I can’t understate how huge almost any of these shows were back then - or even today.

Next time we’ll look at 2011-2014 and both networks’ extended foray into an expanded, older demographic (while still being tween-friendly, if not relapsing into focus) with A.N.T. Farm, JESSIE, Austin & Ally, Dog With a Blog, and Liv and Maddie on Disney Channel and, let's face it, the network's first real serious cartoon of the decade, Gravity Falls. And on Nickelodeon we'll be looking at the short-lived School of Rock, Sam & Cat...well, 2011-2014 ended up being a very rocky period for Nickelodeon for reasons arguably largely self-inflicted (if you're wondering why people had a problem with Cyma...). As well as their few standout huge successes, namely TMNT, Korra, Big Time Rush...umm, that's pretty much it. And we'll be looking at DisneyXD for the first time with Kickin' It, Pair of Kings and Lab Rats.

All-In-One Roundup of Disappointing Shows Too Disappointing for Me to Watch (Big City Greens; Pup Academy; Hunter Street S3; the literal entirety of whatever Marvel shows they're showing on Disney XD but Spider-Man especially; Finding Dory)

In lieu of pulling a quote from any episode of any of these shows/movies, I think it'd be more appropriate and illustrative if I leave a certain image here instead....

It's mid-late evening in early October, on a Sunday no less; I am cold, I am bored, Disney Channel is showing endless reruns, I have a huge migraine and in a misguided effort to self-cure said migraine, I am drunk.

So it's time to do a mass run-down of shows I find disappointing!

Big City Greens
What is it? The most obnoxious show on mainline Disney Channel right now. Pretty much their version of Spongebob
Where did it air? Umm...Disney Channel.
Who stars in it? Some voice actors? I dunno I have a headache and I am drunk.
Why are we reviewing this? I dunno, I have a headache and I am drunk.

So Spongey444, the man behind the excellent blog (except when he reviews Big City Greens), apparently likes this show.

After what has to be well into its second season now...yeah I've come to the conclusion that I can't stand it.

People Watching is the only episode of the entire series I like, probably because it speaks directly to my writing instincts. Other than that...it's about a insufferable brat and some periphery of his other family (who also have a tendency to act like brats, adults included if not especially), and that's it, as far as I'm concerned.

When I say that this is Disney Channel's Spongebob, I really mean it. For starters it totally dominates the schedule; you turn on your TV, especially during daytime hours and there's a damn good chance Disney Channel will have BCG. But it also seems to have basically the same style of humor. I can't really get into Spongebob - more than anything I honestly find it extremely boring. And honestly, all the brattiness of the main characters aside, I also find BCG to be...fundamentally boring.

Yet at the same time this show is clearly popular, and there's no doubt about Spongebob's popularity. It has a Broadway musical show, for crying out loud, something I actually want to see (and just a bit of trivia, it has Thunderman's Mrs. Wong as...is it Karen? Eh I don't remember which character she plays whatever. But I feel Karen is a damn good guess. She just strikes me as the type of person you'd cast as Karen if you're gonna cast her in a Spongebob musical). But...I just can't get into it. 

That isn't to say there aren't episodes I don't like. I actually really liked the Spongebob anniversary special, at least the parts above water (the party planning parts felt unnecessary and tacked on just to make the episode an extended special). In fact there's a ton of episodes I like. I don't think I watched a boat driving episode with Mrs. Pufferfish I didn't like, that's when the show shows its strengths. And Mr. Krabs-centric episodes, probably because IRL my personality has a dangerously close resemblance to Mr. Krabs (greed is a hellava sin, yo). But say...6 times out of 10, I just find myself being bored and really regretting, at the very least, not watching another network.

Fortunately for Nickelodeon, chances are Disney Channel's counter-programming is probably BCG which if you don't get it by now, I think is even worse. It's going to boil down to a personal taste thing, and clearly I am in an extreme minority here - and because of that it's hard for me to quantify any objective reasons why I don't like it - but I'm just going to have to say, I don't like it. 9 times out of 10, if I do have it on, it's just to act as background noise when I'm doing something and I just don't want a completely quiet house, and at least I can rely on Disney Channel to be inoffensive as background noise, BCG included (and during the hours when I want this, it's almost always a toss-up between this and Spongebob, and BCG usually wins if only because, only being in its second season, it does come off as fresher).

Series Grade: C-. Keep in mind this is extremely subjective and, very clearly, I'm in a slim minority here.
Series MVP: *shrug* I dunno, I don't care. H Jon Benjamin, because H Jon Benjamin (and I'm claiming this as legitimate because I swear he's in the Cricket Calls shorts, uncredited.

BTW I actually love the Cricket Calls shorts. Go figure).

Hunter Street
What is it? Single-Cam 24-minute format KidCom with some drama trappings, produced as English-language programming with largely native English speakers (either American or British, for the most part) but by a Dutch studio, on location in the Netherlands. Go figure.
Where did it air? Haha, that's actually the interesting part. But the simple answer is Nickelodeon (the Dutch studio that produces it in the first place literally is Nickelodeon Netherlands). But although it was originally scheduled to air on mainline Nickelodeon...it got booted to TeenNick (which is available in HD in select parts of Burbank near where most Nickelodeon's live-action shows are produced and...absolutely nowhere else) even before the scheduled season premiere (which means for 99.98% of all viewers it's possible to view it in HD only through Nickelodeon's super-annoying app). 

And after going through this experience, I can see why.
Who stars in it? Although most of the actors are actually American citizens with a few select British ones (like Jake's actor, most notably)...well let's face it you're not going to get many recognizable names in a production like this, even by typical Nickelodeon/Disney Channel KidCom standards.S3

So yeah. Hunter Street wasn't exactly perfect to begin with but at least it was passable entertainment. I gave S1 a C+. S2 was...worse in some areas, but better than others (the addition of Jake was a pretty good plus, he's a legit good actor), evening out to the same C+ score.

S3 was...a great big A.N.T. Farm S3/Jessie S4-style crash straight into the ground leaving nothing recognizable but a giant smoking impact crater. 

It starts off agonizingly slow, with the Hunters stuck in a B&B in the middle of the forest for way, way too many episodes (it's not even haunted, despite how much the show wants to fake out how it is). Way too many of these episodes are too focused on the Hunters going around in circles over the same damn clues culminating into far too few mysteries. And an ending way too freakin' pat and predictable, to the point where I haven't even seen the last two or three episodes and guess what, I'm not ever bother going to.

See above image for reference. Except instead of just not understanding WTF is going on...there's nothing going on.

As I understand it it was basically down to whether or not to renew this show or I Am Frankie for S3 - it was an either-or choice as mandated by the parent network, much like what happened pretty much exactly 6 years ago between The Thundermans and The Haunted Hathaways. And unlike that time - after seeing some S2 Hathaways episodes and...yeah I think they made the right call choosing Thundermans, they so didn't make the right call this time. I Am Frankie will be sorely missed and this was a stinker of a season.

Season Grade: A flat D. I'm pretty much obliged to give this grade if I can't even finish out the freakin' season.
Season MVP: ...so this is going to be very awkward and controversial, especially since the vast, vast majority of my professional writing outside of this blog is very specifically and explicitly pro-feminist and pro-#MeToo. Hell I go out of my way to incorporate pro-feminist and pro-#MeToo material on this freakin' blog, all the time, and not the least of which using this very blog as a means of publicly coming out as transgender. 

...and yet that said I use the Episode MVP award all the time to give it to actresses for no other reason than I just find them extremely pretty. Usually because, honestly, there's nothing provided in the actual acting, or at least overall quality, of the show to award it legitimately. But I'm forced to recognize that awarding Episode MVP on the basis of who happens to be the hottest...isn't exactly the most feminist. 

On the other hand I have met people who have told me that there's nothing wrong with awarding MVP along these lines. That, yes, acknowledging a woman's beauty can be feminist. I just wish I had a definitive answer or - let's face it, what I'm really looking for is a means to rationalize objectifying women while still claiming some (false) legitimacy to a feminist card. But I'd really like to know what my readership thinks.

You know, all three of you.

But anyway, Season MVP goes to Sarah Nauta (Jasmyn) because (and you can see this coming from all my rambling) OMG she's freakin' gorgeous.

She is by far the best looking of the main cast across any of the seasons. Although I might be biased because she really does look like a girl I had a major crush on back in high school (you know, because I didn't make this creepy enough as it is). Also she's 21, so yeah, legitimately, no pedo (ewww, just saying that gives me the creeps though.

And yet, I still did it.)

Honestly some mention of MVP should go to Wilson Radjou-Puljante since I think he's the most legitimately talented, or at least I enjoyed his screen presence the most (aside from creepy eye-candy factor). But it seemed like the show went out of its way to boot him off which...is definitely contributing to its D score.

Also I want to mention Thirsa van Til (Rex Legend's assistant) because...yeah she's also super-pretty. And the makeup artist that did Erik's makeup (in-show, so an actual actress not literally a makeup artist although for all I know she's the show's actual makeup artist, she didn't have any speaking lines) because she's even prettier than Sarah and Thirsa. Combined, even.

And the really pretty redhead that got beat up by Frankie, Andrew and what's her face at the very last episode of I Am Frankie because she's really pretty, and also she got beat up by three androids so I have to show some props or appreciation for putting up with that. And I miss I Am Frankie. And cute redheads.

Yeah that's enough creepiness perviness for this writeup.

Pup Academy
What is it? 24-minute live-action single-cam kidcom. With talking animals. Yup, it can only be from Air Bud productions!
Where did it air? Disney Channel 
Who stars in it? Ummm, a bunch of talking dogs? Oh and some humans too. But seriously I don't know who and I'm too lazy to look it up. 

This...is just too damn kiddie for me. Hard pass.

Series Grade: C-
Series MVP: Meh

Finding Dory
What is it? It's...Finding Dory, I'm pretty sure you know the particulars of this one.

...you know what, I'm just going to say it got hit with massive sequelitis.

Movie Grade: eh

Just another random essay post that I can't think of a good title for

Anyway, this is meant to be a post on Jessie's 8 year premiere anniversary (today, September 30). I was going to say some things about the show but...eh, my last post ended up stealing that thunder, oops. 

But my point still stands that Jessie...sure as hell experienced some deevolution there. I've been watching the show just on Disney Channel (they...sure love their Jessie over there) and let me tell you, the difference between a good episode and a bad episode is night and day. I just wish Christian and Sean had watched a good episode, although I insist they did. 

But let's look at 2013 compared to now. I won't run down every show because I've done that so many times in the past. I just want to run down some of the big tentpoles that were my favorites - of course Jessie, but Shake it Up, Austin & Ally, Good Luck Charlie and the big newcomer of that year, Liv and Maddie. 

Not all these shows had the same quality of writing - yeah we won't talk about Austin & Ally. But there was a real sense of a continuing storyline with a bunch of people that really felt interconnected with each other - not necessarily as a family but at least close to it.

Sydney to the Max and to a lesser extent Coop & Cami (yes I watch that show now) do a good job of this. Just Roll With It...well it makes attempts (which are surprisingly successful) but at least it works with its premise well. Hell even Bunk'd is...a great improvement over what it was.

And then we have Raven's Home. The more I think about it, to get into that really deserves its own post. Really I have no idea what I'm doing with this one and...yeah I'm calling it a night.

Saturday September 14 2013 - Saturday September 14 2019: Reflecting on six years

...well ok not exactly six years but it is when I technically started a blog. Namely, this one. But I feel it's an important anniversary for this blog (i.e. the one you're reading now) all the same. 

For starters September 14, 2013 is the day after the premiere of G.I. Jessie which of course was the 2nd season finale of Jessie. We've done a review of that here - and umm, literally the exact same review again here (the biggest post of the year by far - and very close to being this blog's last at the time) but I also feel that was a pretty big watershed moment for myself and really, this whole KidCom deal. Not a sudden one mind you but it was a start.

As I mentioned in the aforementioned review I'm not entirely sure which season of Jessie was best: S1 or S2. S2 definitely had a tonal shift, simultaneously (and yes, contradictory) dramatic and subtle - but a big part of being both of those at the same time was that it wasn't exactly sudden.

Well, not entirely so. S1 was definitely more "grounded" like a normal(-ish) Disney Channel KidCom of the time, or at least compared to say Good Luck Charlie (and of course Liv and Maddie but we're not quite there yet, timeline-wise). But even quite a few other shows at the time with high-concept plots like say Shake it Up and even to a lesser extent Wizards of Waverly Place had a relatively "grounded" feel. Or to put it another way: it was more character-driven than plot driven. Actions (and consequences, a really big driver with KidComs) felt more driven by the actual characters and their naturalistic actions and motivations rather than to merely serve as vehicles to move the plot forward (as in say Austin & Ally and A.N.T. Farm, although A.N.T. Farm certainly had extremely character-driven episodes, to its credit. And so did Austin & Ally too, to that show's credit). I've had discussions with some of you on Twitter about this, especially around Tuber and Maile and how they were major drivers behind the scenes with S1.

S2...for the most part...was still very character-driven with, for the most part, actions and consequences in turn feeling character-driven. But that tonal shift was readily apparent with The Whining (which for some reason is the highest-rated episode on IMDB? Seriously, WTF?) where it's pretty clear that, instead of having the characters influence and drive the plot and from there, the consequences, the characters were instead effectively hijacked by the plot in order to force them along a predetermined path, and the consequences instead coming off more like the tacked-on conclusion paragraph of a 7th grade essay about how rising gas prices affect fossil emissions. In other words...it's not so much that the writers had an idea of what the ending was going to be as so much as what the actual character consequences are, and just basically wrote the rest of the episode around that.

This is pretty much how they wrote those cheesy, awful, morals-based after-school specials back in the 80s. It's writing down to your audience and while even I'll admit Jessie wasn't exactly the greatest Disney Channel KidCom ever, it certainly suffered moreso for it.

I think that's why I'm not exactly fond of Trashin' Fashion and Lizard Scales and Wrestling Tales either. In the former the A-plot was absolutely ruled by arriving at a pre-determined set of consequences, and in the latter, both plots were. And it's especially noticeable when both episodes are ostensibly extremely character-focused episodes on Emma and Luke respectively, with ostensibly big character development. 

...but the writers of those particular episodes don't know how to write character-focused episodes. Or at the very least, they've confused pre-arranged consequences for actual character development.

In a lot of ways Gotcha Day - the episode that got me into this show (and at least in some part the network as a whole) is like this too - but going back watching the show, the characters actually feel more naturally-motivated. And as much as Christian and Sean over at Girl Meets World Reviewed hated Green-Eyed Monsters, that was absolutely, entirely an episode where the characters actually felt naturally self-motivated instead of being intellectually stuck on rails forced into a predetermined conclusion. 

S2 would certainly see an uptick in this kind of episode - Pain in the Rear Window and Toy Con are ones that really stick in my mind especially since they were pretty close to each other in original premeire date. And of course I think this gets to Mike's points about G.I. Jessie. But S2 still had plenty of episodes that feel very character-natural including some of my most favorite episodes of the entire show - The Trouble With Tessie, Why Do Foils Fall in Love (really stupid title BTW but whatever) and Kids Don't Wanna Be Shunned (again, with the last two especially because they're so close in proximity to when they premiered) and Punch-Dumped Love despite it's incredibly stupid, inane B-plot. And of course the penultimate episode of S2, Break-Up and Shape Up which is still well-praised by the fans (at least according to my Twitter interactions) and makes for a much better finale than G.I. Jessie. But still, I think the actual character-focus vs. consequence-focus was still there.

Things started to fall apart at a slow pace still as S3 continued - Ghost Bummers, Caught Purple Handed, and so on (October and November and just the beginning of the season in general weren't good months for good Jessie episode premieres, it turned out) but you still had a ton of great actual character episodes like The Cheapskate, the Primate and the First Date being a good one in the October-November window. And Hoedown Showdown for a very Emma-focused one. And of course at the very end concluding with There Goes the Bride which makes a much better finale than Orray for Ollywood/Jessie Can't Make Up Her Mind For a Finale Title but unfortunately we still have a few episodes of S3 and a whole S4 to go. But the ratio of consequence-focused episodes was definitely creeping up - Morning Rush, Coffee Talk, Spaced Out (double points for being yet another dream fake-out) and so on. 

And yeah, speaking of S4...that whole damn season was pretty much consequences-focused, from Africa is So Far...i! to Jessie Goes Submitting Multiple Episode Titles. The only episode I can think of that really even comes remotely close to feeling like a natural character episode is A Close Shave, then all the way near the end with Identity Theives, and more-or-less Dance, Dance Resolution which was a lot closer to Identity Thieves than A Close Shave, air-date wise. 

But yeah, I just wanted to get that out for the six-year kindaversary so, there you go.

Raven's Home Reviewed: Diss Track (S3E6)

Pump-FAKE!
...is that the only thing you say?

What is it? blah blah blah you know

...so after being so harsh on the last episode (and make no mistake: I absolutely stand by everything I said about it down to the...what did I give it? An F rating?) they went and threw in a pretty decent one.

Yeah. I actually really liked this. It had several points going for it:

 - it was well-written
 - Principal Kwan acted like an actual principal and not like a lunatic
 - it had a good lesson behind it
 - it had great interactions between the kids and they actually acted pretty natural (for a Disney multi-cam at least)
 - Principal Kwan acted like an actual principal and not like a lunatic
 - it had a pretty good and actually heartwarming resolution
 - Principal Kwan acted like an actual principal and not like a lunatic

This is without a doubt the best episode of Season 3 so far and...really one of the best of the entire show. That said...the show's been rather lackluster so far. I hate to say it but I think Season 1 might be the best season of this show, where it occasionally got into I'd say B- territory. Season 2 was...alright in parts, especially the first arc of the season where Booker revealed he was psychic to Raven and he got introduced to the Sleevemore institute, but they definitely also did many creative decisions that sent the show into the wrong direction. And then Season 3...has been especially lackluster, feeling like a show from 15 years ago aimed at maybe 4th graders at best. 

Episode Grade: B+
Episode MVP: Isaac Ryan Brown really does put the whole package together. There's serious talent in front of the camera (Raven-Symone proved that 15 years ago) it's just the talent behind the camera that's somewhat lacking.

Extra thoughts

 - as of the time of this writing (9/13) it's the six year anniversary (meaning that 6 years ago 9/13 was also a Friday - lucky us I guess) of...when G.I Jessie aired. Whee! 

 - it also means that tomorrow is the 6 year anniversary of my blog. Well...not this blog, but this blog -> http://writingsofray.blogspot.com/

Raven's Home Reviewed: Dress to Express (S3E5)

I'm too drunk rn I can't remember a good quote from this episode so I'll just post what IMDb says:

Booker and Levi find themselves on opposite sides of the Carver School dress code(that doesn't happen), while Nia and Tess clash over the authenticity of each other's recent fashion choices (that doesn't happen, either).

What is it? ...blah blah blah I think we all pretty much know Raven's Home at this point too.

...S3 has been improving but man was this a pretty bad episode, sorry. And when I looked it up on IMDb to confirm its production code I'm like...9.3/10? Are you guys high?

Not that it was...bad bad. But it wasn't good either.

This episode suffered from what I'm going to call Girl Meets World Syndrome (did I use that already? For like back in S2 of Andi Mack? Probably....) It's a bunch of tropes and After School Special Messages that frankly every kid knows by now because every grown-up has been pounding it into their heads nonstop thrown together into an episode. And to make it worse we have 24 minutes divided into three subplots.

So about what this episode actually is about. Yeah none of what IMDb says happens. Levi is filming a documentary about what Booker, Nia and Tess do - Booker is arguing with Raven on how to dress, Nia is arguing with some dude running the Earth club over Earth-shaming, and Tess is...doing some cotillion thing? That the Principal is running?

What the actual fuck?

Anyway each of these subplots resolves themselves in predictable cliche garbage, end of story, end of review, I'm done here. Nothing to see here folks.

9.3/10 on IMDb what the actual fuck folks?

Episode Grade: A big fat F. I was all set to give it a D- or even something in C range but the more I think about it the more I realize just how much garbage this episode is. Nothing of true consequence happens and unlike say A Moving Day on Andi Mack I do feel the audience basically had their time wasted.
Episode LVP: Levi for this stupid documentary framing device.

Extra Thoughts

 - National Ice Cream Day must be huge because you get two posts! I guess go out and enjoy BoGo from Ben & Jerry's too, or something.

 - Speaking as someone deeply involved in the education world Principal Kwan is fucking insane and needs to be fired tout suite, I fucking mean it. Speaking as a (somewhat) rational viewer/reviewer of a Disney Channel multi-cam KidCom...Principal Kwan is still fucking insane. There's no good plot explanation as to this whole cotillion-in-a-public-middle-school plot other than the writers just threw it in because, well, what the fuck.

 - and a more tragic and depressing note: I've talked about the role and nature of production companies and the production company cards you see at the end of shows, way back when on a post about Raven's Home S2. You've no doubt noticed the new It's A Laugh card (not sure if I like such dominating whitespace but oh well) and for a new company, Funny Boone Productions. Funny Boone Productions is named after the woman depicted on that card - Eunice Boone who was slated to helm S3 of Raven's Home and has a pretty impressive resume of TV show and movie production behind her - but tragically died of a heart attack, as I understand, before S3 actually began production, and her face being the literal face of the production card is the show's tribute to her.

Andi Mack Reviewed: A Moving Day (S3E19)

He's not a hermit chef!

What is it? ...it's Andi Mack, I'm too drunk to do this right now you know what this show is....

I've pretty much skipped over the vast, vast majority of S2 because...the show really, really went downhill at that point, deal with it. But now that the show is ramping up towards the end, I'll have to admit, it's really returned to form. I've seen most of S3 at this point (just skipping the very beginning) and while certain points...still have rough spots it's back to being the show I fell in love with waaaaay back in 2017 (although it's crazy that this show'll only be putting out new premiere episodes for comfortably well within a three calendar year span...Girl Meets World did it over four albeit only barely and then only by cheating...but still not nearly cheating as badly as Wizards of Waverly Place which managed to sneak exactly one episode into calendar year 2012 for a total of 6...and if you want to cheat even more, 7 consecutive calendar years thanks to the 2013 Alex vs. Alex special...and Austin and Ally not only managed to span 6 consecutive calendar years but Jessie,  Good Luck Charlie and Liv and Maddie did 5...man, it does kinda make me feel Andi Mack, the one show that was clearly meant to be the network's tentpole from the get-go, really did end up getting a screwjob in the end, but I really digress). 

A Moving Day is, Bee-Tee-Dubs, the penultimate episode of the entire series. Again, it's crazy to think...nope, not going to repeat that rant I just got finished with again. But at the very least they're putting to a close one important plot thread.

Yup that's right, spoiler alert: Bex and Brody actually get married in this episode, for real.

Most of the episode is either buildup to this moment, or just complete and total filler or...really, and strangely, manages to be both, but...while they are more or less throw-away in the grander scheme of things they don't feel like a waste of the viewer's time. That said it's...really hard to discern which is the "main" plot without watching all the way through and understanding how both subplots fit in to the big spoiler-laden reveal...which I just spoiled for you in the above single-line paragraph but oh well, I'm betting you've already seen this episode by now anyway.

The "main" plot-I-guess is about Bex "winning" an exclusive dinner with a celebrity chef and the whole family (minus a certain someone, we'll get to that one in the Extra Thoughts part) loads up in the car and...yeah the vast, vast majority of it is just Cece complaining nonstop about everything. That's pretty much it. You can pretty much just skip to the main event here.

But before that we also have a second plot with Buffy, Cyrus and Jonah helping Jonah's mom move stuff, and Cyrus finds a big pile of exercise tapes he recognizes because the content of those tapes apparently had been viral on the Internet for a good while now, and we find out the exercise lady in those tapes is Jonah's mom.

...that's pretty much it, too.

I can't even say the freakin' wedding itself has a lot going for it because...not a lot happens there, either. Yes it's the usual trapping of a wedding...well, not quite. It's a very spartan wedding by design and desire, but most of the actual screen time ends up being ceremonious and...let's face it, filler.

This whole big episode is just one giant case of filler, even despite the fact that it has one of what should be the most monumental events of the entire show occurring in it, and is the show's entire penultimate episode no less. 

And there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

For me it was a very fun episode to watch and if it had been "bigger" or especially "heavier" I don't think I would've enjoyed it as much. One of my big complaints of S2 was that it was trying to make every single damn moment literally A Moment(TM) to the point where they were pretty much stumbling all on top of themselves. Like how Buffy finally has her big chance to prove herself to the rest of the basketball team and...it runs headlong into her mom coming back from the Army (or whatever, sure it's the Army). Literally the entire show comes to a dead stop - I mean it, you can see the exact frame it happens, I swear - so that Owe can have this big Moment-Ontop-of-Moments(TM). Or Buffy having to move away...only for her to move right back literally in the same damn episode. 

You know this type of shit seems to happen to Buffy a lot, I've noticed.

But this season's seen massive improvement regarding that Moments Management(TM - and that's my trademark I'm patenting a system on how to write good dramatic middle school sitcoms) - we've seen Jonah dump Amber, date a cute deaf girl and then get schooled on how much of a tool he is, then he dates Amber again and even though he breaks up with her again Amber also does end up schooling Jonah on what kind of a tool he is too. We've seen Cyrus in a relationship that seems to be budding towards boyfriend status, we've seen Buffy in a relationship that seems to be budding towards boyfriend status. And of course the whole will-they-won't-they marriage saga which came to a definitive conclusion this episode. 

But my point is, they've toned down those damn moments by a lot, with this episode being an extreme example (a single moment surrounded by, again, pretty much filler). But it was just really, really nice seeing these crazy kids go on one of those wacky adventures even if it was pretty mundane and nothing really happened before the wedding.

Beats dropping the whole damn game because they can't wait for half-time for your mom to show up, that's for sure.

Episode Grade: A-.
Episode MVP: I'll have to give it to Asher Angel because he does do a really good serious deadpan, why not.

Extra Thoughts

 - well if I'm making a new post it must be a holiday so...Happy National Ice Cream Day. I hope you went out to Cold Stone and got that BoGo offer.

 - yeah the whole, um, "Ham" situation. This is ancient news by now but it goes to show how one guy can really ruin a show and how much a show has to scramble to get it together. I've heard that the scenes they cut out from all episodes that had been produced up to that point were almost negligible, go figure, and likewise for most of the episodes yet to air, but they absolutely butchered the episode that was set next to air right after the news broke out. I've discussed it on social media but I really wish they just put a hard hiatus on airing the episodes and actually bothered to go back and do their best to refilm new scenes. 

 - I certainly have thoughts about Raven's Home, Amphibia, and after nearly a year after the fact I just finished binging Nickelodeon's I Am Frankie S2 but...those really deserve their own posts. Maybe...whatever the next holiday is.

Cameron Boyce

Like pretty much everybody I was as shocked as you guys were when I woke up and learned that he had died apparently in his sleep from a seizure. RIP Luke :(

But I also want to talk briefly about the Debby situation. I know it's not her fault that people ended up making his death about her, but I think posting a snippet about Cameron talking about doing good on social media vs. doing bad, after shutting off all comments on her Insta...kinda seems like she's adding onto shifting his death being about her, if you ask me.

That's pretty much it.

UPDATE: Just for clarification's sake since Spongey and Shipping Wars are Stupid brought it up, but yeah, what happened was that people were bombarding Debby's social media, particularly Insta, with SAY SOMETHING DEBBY! until she just turned off all comments. Then she put up a video of Cameron at the Thirst Project talking about how social media gives people the power to do good or to destroy. That's pretty much it and she's turned comments back on. And yeah this is like...almost two weeks ago now but meh.

Anyway I just want to say...yeah, I mean, there's nothing really to say other than the obvious (or at least what Spongey and Shipping Wars are Stupid have already said).

Alexa & Katie Reviewed: Episodes S1E1-S1E3

Dylan: Well, guess what this "dweeb" is doing Saturday night? It's gonna be epic. 
Alexa: Midnight mathlete meeting? 
Dylan: That's Tuesday.

What is it?: 24-minute multi-cam KidCom

Where did it air? It's a Netflix original, which means many if not most of you have probably already seen every episode released so far by now but oh well

Who stars in it? Skylar from Mighty Med (remember that show?) and someone named Isabel May, apparently there's some ambiguity as to whether this is actually her first credited acting role whatosever, or on Young Sheldon, but either way, impressive start! Also one of the guys who hung out with the goofy sidekick from Best Friends Whenever (remember that show?) when they had their own band and Tiffani Thiesen, I don't think I need to explain who she is especially if you have a modicum of interest in these kidcoms and/or are actually as old as I am.

Why are we reviewing this? Well it's a kidcom sooo.... And also it's on this newfangled Netflix thing which I hear is a big thing!

To the best of my knowledge this is one of the first multi-cam kidcoms to actually be produced specifically for Netflix - Netflix of course hosts a bunch of other people's shows (pretty much the entire Disney Channel library at one point at least, and Liv and Maddie is still up there, at least) and they've slapped their "Netflix Original" label on a bunch of foreign shows they've imported years after the fact (Mako Mermaids being one of the most significant early ones - althougth they did indeed put money into that one it aired in Australia first, along with a few others, Ride Free and Go! Live Your Dreams, or something). Netflix itself, and by itself, has also produced a number of truly exclusive animated shows such as...Boss Baby: The Series? Really? Excuse me? But I think this is one of the first multi-cam kidcoms that specifically went straight to Netflix as a North America network exclusive.

...no, no wait, I take that back: their first multi-cam original/exclusive was a few years back, and I even mentioned this in my last post: the AwesomenessTV-produced, Hodgson and Pollack (of Suite Life and A.N.T. Farm fame) helmed...Richie Rich. What's almost universally considered the worst show in the history of Netflix, bar-none, even giving it consideration that it's a multi-cam kidcom.

So let's call Alexa and Katie the first multi-cam KidCom since.

Anyway, Alexa and Katie is about Alexa, who has cancer, and Katie, who doesn't have cancer but is Alexa's best friend. And I suppose this is somewhat of a spoiler but...as of the semi-cliffhanger end of E3, everyone thinks it's Katie who has cancer, not Alexa (although the immediate next episode seems to make no effort to build off this but, um, whatever). But fore the most part the show seems to be fully about Alexa overcoming being in remission and undergoing treatment while having to live a normal life, although said treatment definitely seems to be front and center of everything.

Now, those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning (which from what I can tell is everyone reading - so like the three of you, Hello Spongey and Shipping Wars Are Stupid) will know I've survived cancer myself. It's literally a big reason why I'm ultimately even writing this review - and I don't mean just analyzing the cancer aspect of this show, but as in having this blog in the first place. And I can say from personal experience how Paris Berelc and her character portray the experience is, at least how I feel in my (I'd say, very informed) opinion, is very accurate. It's probably the one singular aspect I appreciate best about the show. 

And that's a very big chunk of the show right there, being what the very premise revolves around. As for the other aspects, well...they tend to revolve around that. The vast majority of Alexa's interactions are framed around her cancer experience, whether with her family, Katie or with pretty much everyone and all plot developments concerning school. Katie is navigating trying to be the best friend of someone who's physically limited by cancer treatments. And that's it. That's the show right there. Not in a nutshell, (well yes) but practically every plot point can be summarized as occurring in relation to Alexa's cancer. So it's not exactly a casual, "normal" depiction of these slice-of-life school and family-focused KidComs (however high-concept they end up being, like Liv and Maddie) but I suppose that's the whole point.

As such, again, that whole cancer aspect is what I latch onto the strongest, but looking at it objectively as a KidCom I'd say it's...somewhere in between Season 1 of LaM and somewhere in S2 when that show suddenly got really, really good. Definitely leaning towards the former for the time being, though. It's got a lot of those S1 teething problems I've talked about before, both specifically and in general (no I'm too lazy to look up the specific posts, sorry). And I think the writers are going to take a while to figure out how much they want to balance the cancer vs. regular slice-of-life antics thing, and I suspect as the show goes on it'll lean more towards the latter. But so far, it's solid and promising enough, and I'm pretty impressed with how honestly it's showing what it's like to be a cancer patient - not necessarily the during, but especially the after when there's that huge sigh of relief but also that huge adjustment period and coming to terms that you're not really 100% yet.

Episode Grades: B- for E1, B for E2 and 3.

Episode MVPs: ...I guess I'll give it to Paris Berelc for all three, although I think Isabel May comes close or even exceeds at moments.

Extra Thoughts:

 - so the three of you who bother to read this (high again, Spongey and Shipping Wars are Stupid) are probably wondering how I'm even watching the three episodes without Netflix, save for burning a free trial period. I just got done visiting my parents and so I watched it off their account. They've given me permission to use their account but I've heard horror stories of Netflix tracking this stuff so if someone can fill me in before I commit, I'd appreciate that.

 - so apparently and given my last post I write on this blog during holidays now. Happy Independence Day, ya'll.

 - the opening quote was chosen strictly on the basis of how quite literally out of place it is on the series' TVTropes page, being not only very randomly at the bottom of the main (and so far only for the series) page, but not even detached from what happens to be the last trope listed there.

 - speaking of which it's from the fourth episode which I got about halfway through, with Dylan being played by Jack Griffo in a role we're, let's face it, very not used to seeing him in. So here you go folks, as close to a Mighty Med-Thundermans crossover as we're ever, ever going to get.

 - ...yeah the "live audience-chosen prank" aspect of Just Roll With It, isn't working. They really want to have their cake and eat it too with this show: wrap around a typical kidcom with very impactful, meaningful moments but not expect the jarring interruptions and breaking pranks to not interfere with it. Like I said they should've made it basically Walk The Prank but with Disney Channel regulars exclusively instead. I'll write more on that later.

 - yeah Bunk'd is...marginally improving. Enough to get out of C Territory? ....eeehhhhh. The latest episode, the rather so-straightforwardly-named-it's-kinda-bizarre Yes, Lies and Tower Escape is the first one in series history to get into B territory on this blog, right at a B-. So maybe Phil Baker is onto something again after all.

Coming out of retirement this one time: G.I. Jessie Reviewed (again)

Just to be clear I'm doing this because Mike said, and I quote, I just want to say that if Ray sees this at some point and never gives his two cents, it would have all been for nothing.

If you want to read the original review, it's here, but I'm also just going to copy-paste the entire thing down below (with my commentary, in red of course)

Now I know not to watch this again. And knowing is half the battle. 

It all started when our grand pappy Shannon loaned their grand pappy Prescott a corn picker... (yeah I'll go with this quote for an opening why the hell not)



I just want to say that if Ray sees this at some point and never gives his two cents, it would have all been for nothing. Yes I'm being excessively comprehensive when I'm reposting this lock, stock and barrel.



I say that because you would expect Ray to review an episode of Jessie, not me That's true but...more on that later. But I figure it was time for a change of pace from talking about Dan Schneider shows and avoiding the Thundermans write-ups for several months, long after people have already forgotten about the existence of the series (I just need to find the last couple episodes and I'm straight) Yeah, a change of pace isn't bad really, plus I haven't even seen the last eps of Thundermans either. The good news is, this episode has a lot to talk about and unpack. The bad news is, most of the discussion today will be negative so it's almost like unpacking an enormous beehive and hoping you won't get attacked. It's not good for me or anyone else who reads this to try rolling that dice, but I have to roll them anyway.

I mean...the thing about unpacking an episode is, at least when it comes to multi-cam comedies and especially ones aimed squarely at tweens, is that you can legitimately argue it's rarely for good reasons. Jessie isn't trying to be say True Detective where unpacking it is part of the viewing experience. If you're finding yourself with things to unpack...yeah probably something went terribly wrong.

Terribly, terribly wrong.

But that's not to say you can't unpack an episode of Jessie for good reasons. But we'll get to that too.

So at this point, we're all aware of what Jessie is, right? I don't need to bring anybody up to speed? *raises hand* Great. The thing is, even though I remember it, and I remember being a fan of it, I don't remember it being one of my favorite shows. I always thought it was decent, but I was more interested in Good Luck Charlie and A.N.T. Farm, mostly because they were better shows with more entertaining characters.I'll agree with that. I keep telling people, A.N.T. Farm had some really great episodes. The Black History Month episode (just regular episode, not special) is legitimately one of the greatest episodes in the entire history of the network - at least when it specifically comes to these live-action multi-cams (incidentally, I would also rate That's So Raven's Black History Month special as among the top too). Fun fact: I actually tweeted this to Dan Signer back in the day and he tweeted back a huge thanks along with a comment about how hard the crew worked on it (and it shows). ConfinemANT is also a really good episode, in fact it was one of the things that made me fall in love with the network in the first place, being one of the first of these multi-cams I ended up watching. It's just that those got lost with a lot of really, really terrible ones (especially Season 3 which...to be brutally honest here is almost unspeakably bad). In fact, speaking of which, I make the same case with Jessie all the time. Though, Good Luck Charlie, I feel, is just pretty objectively really good. At least for Disney Channel, if nothing else.  Also, I used to have a big crush on Bridgit Mendler so that might have played a role in it too Ha!. Eventually, I became less interested in Jessie, mostly because it went from decent to mediocre after a certain point that point being November 2013 though you can argue a month or so earlier  - if not, in fact, this very episode we're reviewing being that turning point - but I like to think 2013 was overall a high year for the show and the network as a whole and it was never something I was that interested in to begin with. It also doesn't help that the show was surrounded by much better competition, and the fact that I was becoming disinterested in both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel as I was getting deep into high school. I remember thinking the series finale was mediocre generous assessment, and then instead of letting these characters die, they gave them a spin-off at a summer camp. And believe me, if I ever review that show, it will be a sign that I'm no longer getting enough oxygen. At least it's over haha.



I saw that this episode was on TV the other day so I decided to give it a shot. I remember a lot of people hating it when it first aired because the characterization was off which is true, especially from the kids doubly true. I didn't think much of the episode either, but it had been a long time since I had watched it. Maybe things would be different this time?



And they were. They definitely were, because this episode is much worse than I remember it being.



The plot here is that Jessie takes the kids with her to her father's military base in Texas Fort Tavey, if you really want to know - obviously *not* a real military base but named for Shari Tavey, one of the crew of laughing joking numbnuts producers that I kinda blame for, as Mike put it, this show going from at least decent to mediocre for the weekend. Jessie sees it as an opportunity to make peace with the old man after she ran off to New York to pursue an acting career. While in Texas, she finds out that her father is not only getting married again, but he is marrying his commanding officer, who just so happens to be the mother of Darla Shannon, Jessie's greatest enemy. Meanwhile, Emma finds love when she falls for Darla's brother Caleb, and Bertram has his own plot that's not worth getting into because the episode would pretty much be the same without it.


There's a saying the three of you or so who will every bother reading this are probably already familiar with - Don't Meet Your Heroes. I have to say, from my own personal experience it seems to be unfortunately more often true than not.
But it also applies to plot points. Not fictional characters, plot points. For the exact same reasons, now that I think about and type it. See, you build up all expectations of your heroes and you find out...they're only human.
You have all these great expectations of what plot points that have been alluded to during the whole show's mythos since the beginning and you find out...this is still a multi-camera KidCom limited by the shoestring budget and demands of Disney Channel.
For emphasis' sake of what I'm getting at with this network-mandated budgetary restriction and really the heavy sense of apathy I get from this imposition, especially after as Mike keeps getting at watching the decline of Jessie and now in 2019 the decline of the network as a whole, and in hindsight - the salary Nickelodeon was giving just to Miranda Cosgrove was greater than the top dozen Disney Channel stars combined. 
Which is to say now over half a decade later, I'm really disappointed with how meeting Jessie's surviving family (yes surviving family) ended up being like. There's only so much they can do for the dad, yeah, but...to this day we still have no clue what happened to her mom. But, I mean, they could've done better. I don't mean as far as casting goes the actor was fine. But give him meatier material. It's the dad of who was then the most beloved character on the whole freakin' live-action network (yes more than Bridgit, sorry Mike, although by a very narrow margin and I'm sure Bella and Zendaya still probably gave Debby a run for her money as far as popularity's concerned).
But then we do get into casting with Darla. I mean, the actress they went with was fine, she's certainly not untalented and I mean if you want to go that direction she's certainly pretty but...I mean, it's hard for me not to make it sound like I'm shitting on the casted actress but still it feels like a missed opportunity, just because in my mind just the person they would end up casting as Darla as they inevitably finally reach an episode where we see her ended up being one of those "Don't Meet Your Hero" moments. I was really hoping it was going to be Brenda Song for obvious reasons, not the least of which it really seemed like they were trying to make Darla out to be London 2.0 (oh and we'll get into that part later), or barring that, then Sarah Hyland, who is one of Debby's friends IRL and also a popular actress more or less under the Disney wing (it was only until relatively recently that I even learned that Modern Family was actually made by FOX Television Studios, but hey she did do a DCOM) and also legit one of the hottest chicks on the whole freakin' planet, but also someone who I thought could really pull off what they had been building Darla up to. But moreover I just really wanted to see Sarah on Jessie, and Debby on Modern Family (fun fact: they've had Kevin Chamberlain on that show), I think those two would be really natural fits on each of those shows at least as just a one-episode wonder guest spot, and I always imagined the role of Darla being perfect for Sarah. 
But as I said, Don't Meet Your Heroes also applies to plot points and even just casting decisions.








One of the biggest problems in this episode is the behavior of the kids. They're complete brats for 44 minutes, and they don't let up at all until Jessie gives them a speech about how awful they all are. Then they go back to being brats, and save the day in spite of all the trouble they caused, while also potentially making it worse which I'll get to soon. I can't remember how the kids acted consistently from episode to episode, but their characters here are insufferable beyond compare. All they do is complain about things, destroy whatever they see, and run off at the mouth when someone should have smacked them for having loose tongues. And they do all of these things unsupervised. For 44 minutes, nobody is watching these children, which gives them free rein to act like they have no common sense or ability to restrain themselves. But that's the thing. I feel like they would normally behave like actual human beings, but they don't.

How consistently the characters act, especially the kids (you know, the ones who got their own spinoff show - and I'm bringing that up because that's another point that deserves its own details)...really depends from season-to-season. Which is to say barely meeting the actual definition of "consistent."

But...there also is a pretty common consistency throughout the entire show from New York New Nanny to Ooray for Ollywood...and yeah, it's the kids acting like brats.

I mean, go rewatch New York New Nanny and Ooray for Ollywood and tell me, what's the difference in behavior between the kids in New York New Nanny, the kids in G.I. Jessie and the kids in Ooray for Ollywood? Exactly nothing. That's what. What Mike just described the behavior of all these characters is literally no different from either of those two episodes, aside from Jessie's supervision (or at least in what kind of valid excuse she has for not exercising it).


I get what the show is trying to do here. Jessie needs to have her breaking point and dress these kids down like never before, so in order for the story to work, Luke, Zuri, and Ravi have to be irredeemable pieces of shit. But that just makes things worse because of how far they go to accomplish this goal. We're not seeing an actual story here, the kids are just acting out, blatantly defying Jessie's authority multiple times, and making the experience worse for her for no apparent reason. And it's not like they don't know any better. They're told multiple times not to play stupid games, sometimes by Ravi himself, and they continue playing stupid games. So when Jessie gives them their stupid prize by quitting her job, I don't feel bad at all. They brought this on themselves.



I'm not done talking about these stupid kids just yet because the whole review could be about breaking down every terrible thing they do. But the other big problem in this episode is Jessie's father. I have no reason to identify with him or see things from his perspective because he has no likable qualities whatsoever.And see, here's another example of what I'm talking about with "don't meet your heroes" applying to plot points. Jessie's only been talking about her father, on and off, from not just Day 1 but literally Minute 1 - the very first line of dialogue for the whole freakin' show, back in New York New Nanny, is Jessie talking about her dad and his disappointment with her not joining the "family business" of - if you don't mind me being unabashedly, extreme-left political here - enlisting into what had become the armed imperialism arm of Dubya Bush and now of Trump the Toupee (and I'm mentioning this in this specific language because I may decide to build upon it and tie it into the plot, I dunno - I forgot half of what I'm doing here in the first place) and wanting to be an actress instead. Oh and BTW in that line of dialogue he was in the Marines not the Army but that's a detail that I noticed changes often on TV shows in general. But left-wing politicizing aside my point being, Jessie's dad had been built up and woven directly into the mythos of the show itself very heavily. Of course we had lofty ideas of what Jessie's dad was like, taht was the whole point of all the dialogue mentioning him. He was this larger-than-life figure that, for better or worse, shaped his daughter into the leading character we see every single episode. And what we end up with instead is...well, I'll let Mike continue: He still harbors resentment towards Jessie for leaving Texas, which is fair enough, and there's always this underlying feeling that this resentment is what is weighing down all of his conversations with her. But he does everything wrong. He invites Jessie to Texas without telling her the real reason he brought her there. He expects her to get along with Darla for no apparent reason, which is ridiculous because Darla is another piece of shit that has no intention of getting along with Jessie. And then he just announces that he's getting married to Darla's mother. What the hell is happening here?

Pamela O'Connell and the rest of the creative staff quitting about giving a shit is what.
This episode really wants me to feel sorry for a man that misled his daughter into thinking the Texas trip was so they could reconnect, tried forcing his daughter to get along with a woman she clearly didn't like and didn't like her back, and then just decided to drop this marriage bomb on her. He was going to wait for Jessie and Darla to get along before revealing the marriage, which was all supposed to be in one weekend. And the episode acts like Jessie is in the wrong for having resistance to this whole situation. Again, what the hell is happening here?

See previous comment.

But let me talk about Darla here, to make good on a promise I made earlier about her being London 2.0. Or at least that's what the show originally made her out to be. While, sure, there may be underlying resentment implied, the overall implication I got from the backstory built up about Darla was that they may have more or less been frenemies or even outright friends, again not unlike the Bailey/London dynamic. Jessie didn't hate Darla, at worst she was jealous and wanted to prove that she was just as well-off materially as Darla. Then out of nowhere we get this episode and BAM!, Jessie hates Darla because back when they were kids Darla committed what would legally be defined as severe sexual assault against Jessie. 

And yeah yeah I'm being way overly dramatic here, but this sudden extreme tonal shift on character dynamics is jarring, confusing and, well, an honest betrayal of expectations. Yeah I know this is a Disney Channel multi-cam, shut up. Good Luck Charlie built up a great mythos and backstory with its subtle, downplayed dynamic of a very typical and even arguably bland middle-America WASP family. Shake it Up did the same with its TV dance crew, as did ANT Farm about its special advanced talent school. Andi Mack is doing the same as what Good Luck Charlie did in 2017-2019 (even if, if anything, it's trying way, way too hard). Wizards of Waverly Place, one of the greatest shows on the network, was nothing BUT this in its very premise. "It's just a Disney Channel multi-cam" is no excuse when plenty of Disney Channel multi-cams do it all the time.

Hell, this show, yes Jesse, was one of those examples. At least for most of the first two and even into the third season. As was virtually any given Disney Channel show, animated or live-action (to say nothing about Gravity Falls which again was very literally Mythos: The Disney Channel Cartoon Show as its premise) that aired any premiere episode whatsoever between January 1, 2012 and December 31, 2013. Yes I'm insisting on this, now and forever.

Oh yeah and on top of that Jessie's family and Darla's family have a random generations-old feud, ok.
Under normal circumstances, Jessie would want nothing to do with her father which BTW is literally the foundation for the premise of this show, and take the kids back to New York before telling them that they can find a new nanny. But neither of those things happen because we're supposed to act like all of these characters are good people. Except for Darla, who we only hate because we're told to. To her credit, she is a terrible person, but she's not the only terrible person in the episode. In the end, Jessie's father says that he's sorry for springing everything up on her, and that's it. That's his only act of contrition in the episode. The kids are also remorseful, but that's only because they got faced with actually having to deal with the consequences of their actions. And it's all forgotten about within minutes. Jessie snaps at the kids for everything they did, quits her job, and minutes later, she's in the B.A.T. with the kids bonding over the snow cone machine inside it. At least they halfway try to bring Jessie closer to her father, but after everything the kids have done, there's no reason why Jessie should be their nanny again. It's just something that happens, and only because the kids were stupid enough to press buttons inside of an ATV they were never supposed to touch in the first place. Why do I hate almost everybody in this episode?



The last thing I want to elaborate on is the length of this episode. It was one hour, but it felt like six hours, because all I wanted was to review this episode as quickly as possible. A regular decent episode could help mask some of the show's flaws, but with 44 minutes, everything gets exposed quickly. The characters are almost all full of smart-aleck quips that don't really work, and none of them are that well-written to care about what happens to them either. It's just exhausting to see a bunch of kids act like spoiled sociopaths for an hour, and a man try to manipulate his only daughter into accepting his decisions because of his resentment over a past transgression a transgression Jessie was entirely justified over. I guess here I might as well make good on that whole "armed imperialism branch of Dubya and Trump" promise. As a Millennial I feel it's only natural that my worldview be heavily colored by the decade of the 2000s - a massive, devastating and crippling attack on this country - so crippling in fact that almost two decades later we haven't recovered from it and it's increasingly likely that we never will, which means Bin Laden won, deal with it - followed by seemingly endless military ventures that turned into blood-sucking blunders - as in thousands of young men and women died needlessly in the name of an imbecilic President who now feels sorry about it all, too little too late, and his crony-cabinet of bloodthirsty warmongers and now the ultimate logical conclusion of that crony-cabinet of bloodthirsty warmongers, an asshat of a President who if anything gives credibility to America being the Great Satan, all of which ultimately just compounds to all of that crippling devastation we never recovered from and if anything only helps cement Bin Laden's ultimate victory. Thanks there, neo-conservativism. So yeah, I don't blame Jessie for not wanting to voluntarily sign up to go die in the name of giving Karl Rove and Dick "Most Appropriately Named VP Ever" Cheney another war-stiffy (although yeah this would've been under Obama's watch bu whatever, he wasn't exactly the most perfect President ever it turns out either). Plus all the more power for Jessie for wanting to go to such extreme lengths to achieve her dreams, to the point of arguably needlessly antagonizing her own father. At this show's premise it was about a young girl who would stop at nothing to achieve her dreams - but be constantly reminded the importance of family and humility along the way. And come to appreciate the legacy her dad had given her to help her along the way. Or at least that's what it was in my mind. No, wait, this isn't something I'm making up in my own mind this is the actual premise the show sold itself to us on. Again, Disney Channel multi-cams are capable of achieving this loftiness. This show had been doing it up. To. This. Exact. Point and even at least a little beyond. Which is why I don't believe in giving Pamela O'Connell and crew any quarter in their ability or willingness to deliver. The pacing really doesn't work at all. Half the time, it feels like I'm watching the same scene. I guess I could give them credit for the scene with Jessie and Emma in the bunker, but that would have been great if the episode justified it.


Like I said, Jessie's father deliberately withheld information from his daughter and forced her to accept what was coming to her because he couldn't let the past go, so this was his attempt to manipulate the situation in his favor. And the episode plays it as if Jessie was being unnecessarily cruel to her father, her future stepmother, and her future stepsister for no apparent reason. Wait, I forgot, that's how this story usually works.



You know, Disney sitcoms seem to get a bum rap everywhere I look. A lot of people point them out as being especially bad. I find it weird because Nickelodeon sitcoms really haven't been that much better in the last five years or so, but Disney Channel's live-action shows carry a bad reputation like a terminal illness. Like, a Disney sitcom having poor quality is treated like a stereotype. Episodes like "G.I. Jessie" are proof to me that this stereotype exists for a reason. For 44 minutes, Jessie goes out of its way to give you the worst episode they could come up with. The characterization is awful, the overall writing is poor, the motivations are weak, the jokes are mediocre, the resolution is stapled together with bits of fax paper, and the feeling you get overall from watching this is shame. Shame that they thought this was good enough to air on television.

And yeah, I totally get that stereotype and why it's really a bum rap. Ranting and railing against that bum rap and stereotype is literally the whole goddamned reason I started this blog in the first place. 

Which is why it's so heartbreaking when they come along and just want to live down to it.

Especially in 2019 when frankly their efforts almost across the board have been...well, outright terrible a lot of times.

The interesting thing about "G.I. Jessie" is that it is an awful episode, but it's a different brand of awfulness. It's not the same kind of awfulness like those Nickelodeon one-hour holiday specials. You know those specials are going to be terrible going into them, and you feel like your soul is exiting your body as the minutes go by so when you're done watching, it's like you let your family down because you watched it. When I watched "G.I. Jessie," I didn't feel that way. I thought it was a bad episode, but I was thinking more of a C grade for it. It wasn't until I started writing this review and looking back at everything that I realized how terrible it was. It was the kind of awfulness that sneaks up on you, and when the clarity kicks in, you can't think about the episode the same way ever again.

Up to this point I've been almost exclusively talking about this episode in response to Mike and in retrospective in 2019, really mostly being informed by the review and opinions Mike put up. I haven't seen the episode nearly as recently (at least in full) that Mike had, but really I've seen it so often I feel I don't need to. I genuinely feel I have the episode practically memorized (along with every other Jessie episode at least prior to the gawdawful S4).

But it's worth talking about the episode from the perspective of when I first saw it - which I think especially given my status as perhaps the world's only Jessie superfan (or surviving one, at least) is surprisingly easy to do. 2013 - literally the entire calendar year, from the first second of January 1 to the last second of December 31 - was a very pivotal year for me, and this network and this specific show were actually major reasons for that, for in turn various reasons I've already explained in detail in various parts of this blog. For now I'll just say that even, what, six years later? (yeah I'm terrible at math) that first impression is still very powerful and memorable to me. And I actually remember being very wowed by it - but I think that was all just being caught up in the spectacle of finally seeing Darla and Jessie's dad and just yet another one-hour special. 

...while I certainly think Mike's points are valid and would even at least broadly agree with them, I don't know if I'd be as harsh as he is. But that said...the absolute and most fair and honest I can be, mainly with myself is that, I severely overrated this episode upon its premiere viewing. I was particularly enamored with the show, with the title character, with finally seeing these two characters mentioned all the time, and I let my perception of that show get colored by that. For years afterward, in fact, well after the show would premiere its last. Perhaps even letting it unfairly age even better than what it deserved upon retrospect of that really awful, terrible season. 

But yeah, as again possibly the world's only (surviving) Jessie super-fan...we got ripped off here, folks.
Episode Grade: F
Episode MVP: Peyton List. If there was any bright spot here, it was Emma because she was the only character I could tolerate, and she was also the one that helped Jessie understand things from her father's point of view. Now I know the whole reason Bunk'd existed in the first place. 

Episode Grade: C Again I'm not going to be as harsh as Mike, but this wasn't a good episode. It wasn't a bad episode...or at least not the most terrible that Jessie ever offered, even if we just flat out forget Season 4 ever existed. Which is why I think a flat C is very fair.

It still has things going for it. Like...it was a really big 1-hour special at the time. And it's not a Season 4 episode. Ok, I'm really reaching here. But I don't feel like it's in F or even D territory.

...ok, maybe it's in C- territory.

Episode MVP: I'm tempted to agree with Mike and give it to Peyton List but I think I'm going to have to give it to Debby here. This really should've been her episode, or her dad's episode, but it ended up getting hijacked by a combination of the kids and freakin' plot of all things instead of being the tightly focused character episode it should've been (or at least pretends/deludes itself into thinking it actually is). But still, I think Debby doing her best to at least give the sense that this episode is as Jessie character-focused as it thinks it's being outweighs Peyton trying her best to make Emma seem actually helpful in doing all that anyway.
EXTRA THOUGHTS 
-Seriously, if Ray sees this, I would like him to share some thoughts on it here I am!. Especially since he believes Jessie fell off a cliff in the last two seasons. But this was the 27th episode of season two hey it was the last one of the season at least!, so.....maybe this was a harbinger of things to come? I usually cite Ravi going through puberty as the time to stop watching.

So I feel like I've talked about this show so much that I was honestly convinced that people were tired of it, which is why I stopped for so long. But Mike's got me halfway convinced that I might be wrong about that.

But I really feel that regarding this episode and exactly were Jessie fell of is...well...I think it's actually complicated. And in those actually rare cases where it is pretty clear-cut (*cough* ANT Farm Season 3...*cough* Andi Mack Season 2...*cough*FREAKIN' GAME OF THRONES) it's complicated for any TV show.

I could say it was this episode, except I feel Season 3 was still overall at least solid enough. But again that could be that nostalgia filter of delusion talking. Like Toy Con...at least had enough redeeming moments. So did The Tell-Tale Duck. And I just remembered Toy Con was S2. Umm...Krumping and Crushing had redeeming moments, so there. Hoedown Showdown is actually a classic episode, I think. Cheating and looking down the programming guide for S3 off my TV screen right now, I'd definitely say there's a lot more episodes I like and enjoy, or at least tolerate watching, than I don't like, but the ratio isn't as high as it was in S2. S2 admittedly had an auspicious start with The Whining which...is basically G.I. Jessie again but without the dad or Darla, it's Halloween and at least the one good thing is that it's only 24 minutes long but yeah it's about as bad or worse than this one. And it's followed up by Green-eyed Monsters which the guys at GMW Reviewed infamously reviewed but I still like, damnit! And yeah it had some, well subpar episodes - Trashin' Fashion, Pain in the Rear Window, the aforementioned Toy Con, followed up again by To Be Me or Not to Be Me, The Jessie-nator: Grudgement Day and finally back to G.I. Jessie (interestingly enough this covers all of the mandated theme episodes for that season). That's 7 out of 27 or so. 

For Season 3 we have Ghost Bummers (yeah Jessie Halloween episodes suck), Lizard Scales and Wrestling Tales (which upon recent viewing wasn't that bad, but bad enough I'm putting it on this list), Acting with the Frenemy, Where's Zuri? (which again wasn't that bad but still), immediately followed up with Morning Rush, Coffee Talk, and...that's it? Hmm that's...6. One less than S2 with the same number of episodes total. Go figure.

And then with S4 it's just easier to list the episodes I actually like. Which is A Close Shave, Karate Kid-tastrophe, Dance Dance Resolution, Identity Thieves...yeah that's it. Since we're doing reverse math that's 22 bad episodes out of 26 or so. Or only one good episode out of seven and a half episodes total. Yeah I saw things fell off a cliff in S4 all right. 

But I think just where I was when I was watching these episodes matters too, which is something I've talked about before and even when I talked about first impressions of G.I. Jessie. I guess it's a good idea to go back and watch them all again then. But I think it's extremely unfair to dismiss at least the personal importance this show has for me. Again, we very literally wouldn't be here (as on this blog) otherwise. I never, ever would've visited GMW Reviewed without Jessie. There's a real domino effect and without Jessie I think I would've missed out on a lot.

...or without Good Luck Charlie. I think I have to re-evaluate which show truly is responsible for shaping me into who I am today (and really if that's even a good thing). But again I think it's outright unfair and dishonest to dismiss Jessie's personal importance of me, for better or worse, regardless the quality of the show itself.

If you really want me to elaborate on that, I guess I can do that in a future post. Yes really I'll do that I mean it.
-"HEY JESSIE!" I forgot the way this theme song used to climb inside your ears and stay there. It was like catchy garbage.

Fun fact: there is a certain person who agrees with you. Her name is Debby Ryan.



-Initially, Jessie was supposed to go to Texas by herself and Bertram was supposed to watch the kids. Honestly, since this episode is a personal story about Jessie and her father, it would have been way better to do it like this. Instead, Jessie decides to take the whole family with her after the kids destroy the roof and an entire water tower with a rocket. That's literally the first thing they do in this episode. Actually, this entire scene serves as a microcosm for the whole 44 minutes: The kids do something awful, and their response is to act like they didn't do anything wrong, or be proud of what they did, or find a fall guy (usually Ravi).

I think this really gets to what I've been talking about. Although I'm interested in knowing where you heard this behind the scenes info.
-Emma and Caleb's story makes no sense. Jessie and Darla bring up this longstanding feud between their families, with decades of history. Under these circumstances, Jessie's father and Darla's mother shouldn't want anything to do with each other romantically. If anything, that should have played a part in Jessie not wanting her father to get remarried. Instead, this "feuding families" plot is pushed on someone that's not a part of either family (Emma), so there's no reason to care about this. And the whole thing is null and void because Jessie's father is marrying Darla's mother so........go to hell for paying attention, I guess?



-Alright, let's go over the kids' activities: They commit property damage four times (destroying the roof/water tower, knocking down a 70-year-old statue, creating a hole in the wall at the rehearsal dinner using the B.A.T., and causing the munitions bunker to self-destruct), attack Darla with experimental weaponry unprovoked, and inadvertently set off the bunker's self-destruct button after firing a missile at it, with Jessie, Emma, and Caleb locked inside. Had they not used the grappling hook to get the door unlocked, they would have been responsible for the deaths of three people, and the bunker ends up destroyed anyway because they forgot to turn off the self-destruct button. So, on top of three people almost being killed, the bunker is destroyed anyway, resulting in what I have to assume is years worth of military equipment blown up. What's Jessie's response to realizing this? Blame Ravi.

It's funny because Ravi gets blamed for what in effect is a one-boy act of war.
-The kicker is that Emma was the one who locked herself, Jessie, and Caleb inside the bunker because she didn't know what else to do. The most tolerable character in this episode and she couldn't even get off scot-free.



-Seriously, I can't get over how terrible the kids are in this episode. Their behavior is disgusting in a way that I haven't seen in a long time from TV characters. And I know they're still children, but again, they knew what they were doing the whole time and didn't care about the consequences until they went way too far. And it's not like they were really sorry for what they did. They just didn't want to lose Jessie. Luke and Zuri even blame Ravi for not keeping them from doing the things they did. At the end of all this, how am I supposed to root for them? They make Jessie's life a living hell and they love it. I don't know how Ray was able to stick around after this episode.

Well it's a three-step process really, all you have to do is 1.) get cancer 2.) have your fiancee break up with you 3.) arbitrarily decide Debby Ryan looks like your new ex over the fact that they're both dye-reds. Simple as that really.

But that gets back to what I'm saying about perception coloring...uhh, perception I guess. I'm glad I did stick around because I really do think S3 is better than it is worse, but the simple matter is I just didn't see it as being that terrible at that time, for whatever reason. I think Mike even mentioned as much at the beginning of his review, all that time and words ago.

But we have to also talk about another point....
-The only reason I don't hate Jessie's father as much as I should is because the kids were far, far worse. But after everything he did, I really don't think Jessie should have tried to meet her father halfway. It was clear he didn't respect her, while also expecting her to have eyes in the back of her head and watch the kids at every turn. He literally blames Jessie for the kids finding the B.A.T. and committing property damage. You know, even though Jessie had a role in the rehearsal brunch and probably didn't even see them leave. And they were sitting there unsupervised because apparently, nobody else was capable of watching them. And they had easy access to a military vehicle that should have been locked away. And they were told already to stay away from the B.A.T. so they intentionally went against basic instructions.

...and that point being, is that this episode really plays out like a really bad episode of Suite Life on Deck (Season 3, if you're interested in knowing. Particularly Party On!, one of the worst things in this network's entire history and written by the two bloomin' geniuses who's not only largely responsible for ANT Farm S3 but also what many people consider literally the worst show to ever air on Netflix so far and literally Sean Kingston was the only redeeming feature of it at all.) Really, go back o S3 of SLoD and you'll see: characters acting out of character, characters in particular acting bratty and insufferable, the plot derailing itself for reasons incomprehensible to actual humans, and so on. And while Hodgson and Pollock were too busy ruining ANT Farm to be associated with Jessie, much of the same staff including most of all O'Connell carry over. Just like with Dan Schnieder there seems to be a particular kind of humor and writing going on, and just like with SLoD that humor and writing became more and more pervasive as the show went on, especially into Season 4.

It's worth mentioning that the Tuber and Maile pair, who were involved with such shows as Even Stevens and Phil of the Future, were also major movers in Jessie S1 but were apparently given the Rian Johnson treatment by O'Connell herself in S2. 
-Zuri has such a weird line in this episode that I really don't understand. I'm just pointing it out because this was an actual line that Skai Jackson had to read off the script, memorize, and then repeat on camera during filming. So, when Jessie and the kids go to save Emma, they find out that the B.A.T. can fly and they go to the munitions bunker. When Ravi questions if they are in heaven, Zuri sarcastically quips, "Am I playing washboard for the late, great country legend Tammy Wynette? Then no."


-That line was said by Zuri, a girl that shouldn't know anything about country music or who Tammy Wynette is. I didn't even know who Tammy Wynette was until I looked her up. Besides that, it's just a really unnatural response to someone questioning the danger they are currently in, and they give this weird line to someone who wouldn't know anything about Tammy Wynette for the sake of a joke. It's one of those lines that only sitcom characters say because nobody talks like that in real life.

...I actually like that line! Emphasizing Zuri's out-of-nowhere, undying passionate love for all things country is one of the few character traits of any character the show bothers to keep consistent even into Bunk'd! It's even a major plot point in Hoedown Showdown, implying that Zuri thinks Maybelle is a better sister than her actual sister, Emma. Man, the plot potential of that one if they had bothered....
-The weird thing about this episode is that Jessie's father insists that Jessie get along with Darla. But how come nobody says anything to Darla? She antagonizes and talks down to Jessie for the entire episode and nothing happens. It's not like she's putting on a facade, like she's overly sweet to the adults and mean to Jessie behind their backs. She's openly disrespectful and catty towards Jessie regardless of who else is nearby, so why does she never get talked to? Why is Jessie supposed to put up with this? Why is everything in this episode making me want to stop reviewing?

Yeah you got me on that one.

 - Fun fact: I started this response to this review the day after my last post, February 14, right on Valentine's Day. It's now the first day of summer (or at least what so far passes for summer this year - Fuck 2019, The Year of the Rotten Toupee as Freaking President, John Oliver had it a full three years too early). 

Yeah this is getting to a major reason why I've more or less given up about this blog. It's been a massive time sink for what I can discern no actual benefit at all, and in fact detracting away from a lot of stuff I just really, really need to do instead. One of those things is getting a place by myself (more or less) so who knows? Maybe that will change again.

But yeah a lot has happened in that nearly half a year, hasn't it? We've gotten a few new show on Disney Channel and ones that are still around. 

 - A new season of Bunk'd for a total of four, howabout that? This new season is entirely helmed by Phil Baker of Good Luck Charlie and Andi Mack fame, go figure, with Lou being the greatest legacy character left. And after the first episode of the season...I honestly can't even tell Phil Baker wrote this one as opposed to O'Connell and her crew. Then again Andi Mack fell off a giant cliff so...First Episode Grade: C-. At least it ties with the highest grade the show's achieved on this blog so far. First Episode MVP: Miranda May by staggering default. Fun fact: I really did think she was Savannah May's sister. I mean I can't be the only one here.

Actually screw that, S4 E1 of Bunk'd MVP is Savannah May. She's almost 19 which in my book makes it barely not awkward enough to make it ok to say I think she's cute as hell, and that's good enough for me to award her MVP status to a show she has literally nothing to do with. It's not like it's even the first time anyway. 

But since I did resolve to be less creepy I guess it still goes to Miranda.

 - And we have Sydney to the Max which is probably the best live-action show on the network so far, by a wide margin. Yes even compared to Andi Mack which...well after getting out of the loop for a bit is a bit hard to follow now. It's not exactly the second coming of Good Luck Charlie but it's as close as this network's ever gonna get for a while and I credit most of the shortcomings to the fact that it's more of a very late elementary school/very very early tween-centric show and it's certainly got its charm and feels. Fun fact: adult Max was a semi-regular on Suits (where he actually played a giant raging douchebag with, as it turns out, a heart of gold) and you know how much I love lawyer shows. Speaking of which I do find the casting to be really great too, aforementioned adult Max along with Sydney really hit those sitcom beats and they do have great...umm...I really, really don't want to use the word "chemistry" for a freaking father-daughter relationship. Season grade so far: B. Series MVP so far: I guess the aforementioned adult Max, Ian Reed Kessler. Although Caroline Rhea has more than her fair share of moments, sure. She's an in-demand legend for a reason, you know.

 - Coop and Cami Ask the World: Meh. Season 1 grade so far: C+. Series MVP so far: eh whoever I'm not paying attention.

 - Raven's Home Oh My God What The Fuck Happened How The Hell Can This Be Related to Freaking That's So Raven? Then again, so was Cory in the House.... Series grade so far: D-. Series MVP so far: I dunno. I just want to say the videos they're airing for Isaac Brown's song BFF are literally worse than the worst of Kids Bop. I mean it.

 - I'm pretty sure that covers all the live-action shows so far except for Andi Mack and...ummm...whatever Just Roll With It is supposed to be. After the second episode it just occurred to me: this is basically Walk the Prank reformatted into a multi-cam and slightly less half-assing the sitcom portion. Remember Walk the Prank? Remember how weird-ass and out of place those scripted single-cam segments were? Yeah Just Roll With It takes that and turns it up to 11.

We just got done talking about Jessie and emotional investment (or in the case of G.I. Jessie, lack thereof). All the great Disney Channel multi-cams - Jessie at its best, Good Luck Charlie, WoWP, Shake it Up, even Austin & Ally and so on - invest heavily in, well, character and plot investment. The very premise of Just Roll With It - the audience literally votes on plot developments after a very jarring interruption - makes that all but impossible. I think it's pretty safe to say that even the youngest of children watching these shows understands that these are just actors playing along with a script, but it's that sense that these fictional characters are still people we can relate to and care about is what makes these shows worth watching in the first place. Again, we just spent this whole review explaining that, as is the nature of reviews in general. Again, the premise of Just Roll With It make it all but impossible. It's a one-trick pony of a gimmick desperately in search of needing to fill the remaining 14 minutes of non-commercial run time. 

Now that I think about it I wonder why they didn't double-down on the actual point of Walk the Prank, the, you know, prank portion? That's what these voter-decided plot points really are, just voting on what prank to play on the cast. That's not a valid premise for even a multi-cam Disney Channel kidcom, not even to pass off as the high concept, and yet they somehow deluded themselves into thinking just that. But I can't see how that's sustainable and how they can realistically expect a second season, aside from an automatic renewall because Disney Channel is that desperate for content and BTW, yes they totally are, for real. Being actually pretty familiar with the process of how these multi-cam kidcoms are made, I'm really trying to wonder how they even do a freaking table read, again given the very premise of the show. 

I'm almost wondering, again going back to doubling down on the, you know, actual prank portion of Walk the Prank, if they instead should've done some sort of thing where they go to another show, whether it be Coop and Cami or Sydney to the Max or whatever, and prank those actors and go to a different cast every week. Obviously pranking them during the taping of an actual episode would be disruptive, but they can do something akin to World Meets Girl and have it be a mixture of a meet the cast kinda thing with those semi-scripted prank elements. As it is right now, Just Roll With It is incredibly awkward and mostly tripping over its own premise. Season 1 grade so far: D+. Series so far MVP: how do I even, really?

And so we have our animated offerings which are...just two, really? And half of that premiered only this week? Oh wait there's also Go Away Unicorn I show I have not watched anyway. Big City Greens is...meh? I know Spongey disagrees with me which...forces me to conclude his taste is inferior to mine? Eh, that's harsh even for me. I mean it does have moments but it really feels like they're playing the same joke over and over and over again. Series grade so far: C-. And we have Amphibia which just premiered this week, seems to have a lot of promise (series grade so far: B) and features Brenda Song, an Asian woman, voicing an African-American/Latinx character.

I'm sure nobody at all is going to voice a problem with that.

Anyway, see you guys next time.

Maybe.