Girl Meets World Reviewed: Girl Meets Sweet Sixteen

Life knew that this show had to end sooner rather than later.

I had a quote from the episode pulled up but I forgot it

I don't care what anyone says, Girl Meets World had a death wish. The fact that they even made this episode along with this Friday's series finale is proof that Michael Jacobs and company knew time was up. Disney most likely told them months ago that the show was cancelled, but they weren't ready to announce it publicly and wanted the writers/producers to keep it a secret. Rider Strong knew it, or else he would have never came out and said that it ended on that podcast. Things just seem a little bit too suspicious. Like, the show's team was uncertain about the future so they made these episodes? Stuff like this has finality, it has a very big feeling of cleaning out the closet. I think the fans just didn't realize this until the episodes came on TV.

Eh, it's pretty standard practice for the network to pull this sort of stuff off. Especially since we have an example of the type of disaster that can result when networks actually bother to be upfront and honest with its audience. It had been known since, I dunno, March '12?, that the run of new Victorious episodes between August '12 and Feb '13 would be the very last, and that run was the lowest rated of that entire show. It went from being a 3-4 million viewers per episode show to less than 2 million per practically overnight and it pretty much kicked off the start of Nick's hard tumble down until when it didn't so much as recover as much as Disney Channel just tumbled harder and further (i.e. the past year). So if being a little disingenuous about the show's fate can help the ratings, well, eh I can't blame 'em. Though in this case it's a bit like trying to close the barn doors after the horses had already run away, joined the circus, got the circus act closed down due to animal rights abuse accusations and then got high-power jobs on Wall Street where they went back and bought the farm and turned it into another strip mall with an anchor store that sells specialty products for horses. 

As for the show having a death wish, well...I'd certainly agree although maybe not in the sense you're getting at. I'm really, absolutely now convinced that Jacobs just simply didn't change in the least bit since the final dreadful season or two of original-flavored Meets World, and any hope that we had about him putting together another out-of-the-park series was just wishful thinking. Not to mention, as Sean at GMWReviewed mentioned time and time again (or was it Christian?), the vast majority of Boy Meets World's success was a hands-off affair as far as Jacobs was concerned. Being a Star Trek fan and recognizing how the best years of The Next Generation happened after Gene Roddenberry died (or the original series where it wasn't so much Gene Roddenberry as it was Diane Constance Fontana who move a lot of that show's creative decisions, and would go on to do so for a huge chunk of TNG until she simply aged out of being able to do so), or even as a Jessie fan and recognizing that Pamela O'Connell kicking Tuber and Maile (and depending on who you believe, Debby herself even) out to gain more control over the series resulted in its very noticeable nosedive in quality in Seasons 3 and especially 4 - yeah, I think I can get that.

As I watched this episode on Friday night, I was left confused at certain parts. I was having mixed to positive feelings about it. Hell, at one point, I was considering this episode as one of the best of the series. Yeah at no point was I thinking that. I was fully prepared going in hoping so, but I think the constant naval-gazing was a clear signal that it was a no. That is, until I watched it again. I didn't want to have an incoherent review where I said something I didn't mean. That puts you a billion lightyears ahead of me! Watching it again, I really made the right call. The episode was considerably worse this time, and some of it, to me anyway, represented what I despise about this show. But despite all that, I don't really feel any anger towards it. It's not even disappointment. At this point, I just feel pity. I pity this show because of what it could have been and what it ended up being. This is one of the biggest cases of wasted potential that I have ever seen. Episodes like "High School," "Triangle," "Ski Lodge," "World of Terror 3," "World Meets Girl," and all of the other crap we were put through over the last three years were all leading up to this. It's all been destiny. It led to an episode where the kids had to take a hard look in the mirror and examine their friendships in a way they never had before. It also forced the writers to take a hard look at their own show and reflect upon everything they had done over the last three seasons. The saddest thing is I think the writers feel they've already done that - not in this episode, nor in Meets Goodbye, but in World Meets Girl of all things.

Of course, that would be interesting if it hadn't already been done. Try this one on for size. Riley and Maya are worried about their friendship lasting. They say they're forever, but then they start wondering if that's true. The kids don't know if their friendships will survive in the future. Riley doesn't want anything to change or anyone to change. An unforeseen circumstance threatens to destroy the friendship of Riley and Maya for good.

I know what you're thinking. We've seen this story before. And you're right. Because that's what "Bay Window" was about. That's what "Legacy" was about. That's what "High School" was about. That's what "Hollywood" was about. I would have no idea because I just refuse to see that episode on principle. That just smacks of exactly what I suspect of Jacobs and his staff being unable to grow out of the 90s-era tropes they've plied their trade with. Because let's face it: your average, slice-of-life American sitcom family suddenly becoming Hollywood stars out of the blue for exactly one episode (or one extended episode) is exactly the ultra-gimmicky kind of schlock that was popular in the 90s. Fuck that decade. At least for all their faults all these other Disney Channel shows dare to incorporate it into their very premise so you can't complain about it being a desperate one-time grab. And if you really sum it up, that's what Girl Meets World has always been about. It's not about a kid's journey through life, the obstacles they face, and what they learn from their experiences. It's about two kids sitting around commenting on what might possibly happen if they went through these experiences. You mean like the ultimate "tell, don't show" show? This episode was a reflection of that.

Now that I'm looking back at what I've inserted above, even I'm taken back a bit by just how mercilessly snarky I've been on the show. My sentiments about how I've been frustrated by this show have now been spread over several posts (including this one) and will continue to be at least through the end of the month, I figure. And I'm seeing a whole bunch of it on the IMDb board. It seems that everyone's just had it with their frustration now that it's a known, advertised fact that the series will be coming to an end when the reign of God-Emperor Trump begins (and I don't care what cloudcuokoolander knuckleheads say, it's the end of the series, period. Netflix has zero incentive to pick it up now that Fuller House is firmly established and there just isn't any home for it other than Disney, which is why it ended up there in the first place). I know there are guys with really lively names like, uh...."Crotch Rocket" and "some Dan guy" and some other dudes who are really laying it on (this, uhh..,"Crotch Rocket" guy even came out with a rather lengthy, bloviated list of "deadly sins") and you know what...I agree with them. The best way I can put is if...ok, imagine if Disney Channel were a house, and everybody who watched Disney Channel before Girl Meets World were the regular denizens/inhabitants of that house. And now pretend that those inhabitants (which for ease I'll just refer to as "we"/"us") decided to bake a pie and let it cool on the window sill - again, for ease of reference let's refer to this pie as, ummm...how about "Girl Meets World." And then you have a bunch of interlopers come in and they say, "hey, guys, we remember a pie that smells a lot like the pie you just baked. It was a very delicious, scrumptious pie, and we'd appreciate it if you'd let us have some." And we say, "sure, I remember that pie! It was the same pie our moms used to make! I'm trying my best to replicate that recipie, and I hope I nailed it, so why don't you come in and try some!" And then we invite them in and they try a slice of that nice, fresh-baked pie we just made, and their response is "well it's not as good as mom's, but we'll keep trying." And they try the pie again. And again. And on the fourth slice they say "well it's got promise, but it's not as good as mom's" and by the time they finish they're screaming and yelling at us and telling us that our pie is complete and total shit and that we have no business ever making pies again.

And yet, they ate the whole damn thing. They didn't even leave any pieces for us.

Oh, and on top of that they also insulted our cake and told us it was a piece of shit (let's just call this cake, um, how about "Liv and Maddie") and they also helped themselves to our tiramisu and called it a piece of shit (let's for convenience refer to this tiramisu as "Jessie") and they saw our couch that we lovingly have named "Best Friends Whenever" and just helped themselves to it, all the while spilling all of our "I Didn't Do It" guacamole and "Austin & Ally" salsa all over it (while telling us it tastes like shit) and complaining that our couch is a piece of shit and put all their feet up on our "I'm Running Out of Series Titles Here" coffee table and complaining about how all the decor in our house is shit.

Yeah, they do that in my house, I'm a gonna be all FAUUUUULLLLLLLL! CAAAAUUUUN! PAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnCHCHCHCHCHCHCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH!!! them all in their fucking faces.

So yeah, I'm a little frustrated about things. Things way, way beyond just the show itself.

It's reflected in the opening scene when Riley and Maya want to have a surprise Sweet 16 party, despite the fact that neither of them are 16. We never see them throw it, and after the classroom scene, it's not even part of the story anymore, but it drives the rest of the episode where they're supposed to act like they're 16. It's also reflected in one scene where Riley goes nuts when Farkle and Smackle start talking about the possibility of them going to Princeton in a few years. And apparently, this causes Riley to freak out and tell everyone that they're not going anywhere. At this point, I started wondering for the very first time if Riley had special needs. A couple scenes before, she was confident in her friendship with Maya. Then she started getting doubtful, and then she started thinking everything was going to stay the same. I don't understand how someone can "meet the world" like Riley did and not expect anything to change. It was different in the original series because Cory was actually going through changes in his life. Topanga was considering Yale, Shawn was ready to invest his time in his photo assistant job and forget college, Feeny was retiring and moving to Wyoming, Chubbie's was bought out and rebranded. Everything was changing for Cory and that's what caused him to act irrationally. Here, Riley is freaking out over hypothetical situations when she knows what the world is like, and then she goes back to her optimism in the classroom scene. The story here is just really confused and I'm left wondering what I'm supposed to take from any of this.

It feels like a bad compromise because they wanted to cram what they wanted to end the show with on Season 4, but they have to do it at the end of Season 3 instead when their characters are nowhere near emotionally mature enough (and for that matter the actors physically mature enough) to really pull it off, so here we go, we have this shitty tell don't show compromise instead. But telling, not showing has been the go-to form of narrative this show has chosen time and time again. Meets Money and Meets She Don't Like Me have been memorable because they've been some of the few episodes to want to bother to show. If the show had been more engaged in the showing instead of the telling, maybe we'd be here a year from now at the end of Season 4 instead of here now. Hell Jessie has done better in the showing department - but no, I still have knuckleheads barging into the house telling me I'm wrong, and I guess I just gotta keep Falcon Punch!-ing my way out of this one.

This is another thing I mean by this show being held back by people stuck in a 90s style narrative. Sitcoms in the 90s could still get away with more telling than showing, if for nothing else because cable hadn't reached the point yet where it provided serious competition to broadcast sitcoms, so you had more of a captive audience. Jacobs and crew are learning very, very harshly that the things they got away with in the 90s just don't apply anymore, and that's even given on a network that's the most tolerant of that kind of obsolete comedy narrative, and insulates them the most from ratings fears. GG Jacobs and crew.

What I believe I'm supposed to learn is that Riley and Maya are best friends and they're going to stay together no matter what happens to them. But I already knew that. The show's covered this topic many times before. Riley literally asks why people become friends if it's not going to be forever. I'm not going to lie, that might be one of the dumbest lines I've heard in this entire series. It's one thing for season one Riley to ask this question. But this is the second to last episode of the series, and Riley is still insecure about her friendships with people, especially her friendship with Maya? I don't get it. In real life, that's just what happens. As soon as I entered high school, I got a serious wakeup call that the kids I knew from junior high were never really my friends. They were just people I went to school with. I know this because at least 85% of them gave me the cold shoulder as soon as they could, and I haven't heard from them in years. I've tried many times in the past to resurrect those friendships, but it was pointless because it was always one-sided. When you stop being useful to somebody, they're going to shut you out and eventually cut their ties with you altogether. In 2017, I literally only talk to two people from junior high, and one of them's my best friend. Even after graduating high school, I knew what was going to come next and I already accepted the fact that I'm most likely never going to talk to 95% of the people I went to high school with ever again. It's something we all go through. It's not the fact that the writers brought this up that annoys me. It's the fact that they constantly bring it up with no new insight or commentary on the matter.

I just got done watching a movie yesterday called "Date and Switch." It's about two friends who are trying to get laid before prom, and one of them comes out as gay very, very early in the movie. And most importantly, there's a scene where Sarah Hyland kisses another hot chick. Now for some reason this movie only has a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and I'm like, why? It's actually a really good movie! See the thing is, it's not about some guy's best friend coming out as gay or Sarah Hyland macking on some other hot chick or Dakota Johnson actually being in a good movie; it's really about two friends who decide they need to get serious about dating and they help each other out and be each other's wingman and before you know it, holy shit they've got dates. But they spend so much time with their dates that they sacrifice time they spend with each other and they start just drifting apart. And you know what? I think I like this movie so much because it's relatable. Because that's how friendships end, especially in high school. Because stuff like dating, work, school and just changing interests take time away from friends. Now we're not all lucky enough to be like Riley and Maya where we have such an arbitrarily lucky circle of friends that we can just date our different-gendered friends if we happen to be straight, but it just highlights that this show has completely and utterly failed to be relatable to all but those who are just so outwardly desperate to see Boy Meets World characters again. 

Boy Meets World was relatable. I can still name episodes that were relatable. Boy Meets World helped me on my fucking driver's test. And you know what, Jessie is relatable. Jessie helped me when my fucking ex-fiancee dumped me and I got fucking cancer. 

I don't see Girl Meets World helping me in anything like that.

And in all fairness I don't exactly see Bizaardvark or KC Undercover helping with that either.

God No if School of Rock ever ends up being relatable or helpful then I've probably died and ended up on some sort of Dali-esque sick joke of an afterlife.

I don't need any more reminders that Riley and Maya are best friends and these people love each other. It doesn't mean anything anymore because of how much they bring it up. In the original series, Cory and Shawn were best friends and we knew that. They knew that. They did address the possibility of growing apart, but it was no more than a few episodes. It literally feels like Riley and Maya are afraid of no longer being best friends in every other episode. If that's the case, they really shouldn't be best friends. It takes effort, trust, and understanding to have a meaningful friendship. Even keeping in touch takes two to tango. I find it hard to believe that the characters always feel this way because if these kids are as tight-knit as they appear to be, then they should learn to trust each other by now and have confidence in what they built. People drift away, no matter what. Sometimes, people will stop talking to you with no explanation. It's just a part of life. But if this show actually demonstrated that, then this review wouldn't exist.

I really wanted to like this episode. It's not like I hated everything about it. I laughed a few times, they wrapped up a running gag that I hated since it started, and there was a sense of reflection that did feel earned at times. It's just that after everything I've seen, I feel like this series really has nothing left to say. Maybe a fourth season on Netflix or Freeform or wherever will change things, I don't know and I'm starting not to care. But if, hypothetically, there's another episode where Riley doubts her friendship with Maya, then maybe it will be time for me to stop watching the show. Just a thought.

At this point I might as well just demand the writers write "show don't tell" on a chalkboard 100 times.

Episode Grade: C-
Episode MVP: Either Amir Mitchell-Townes or Cecelia Balagot. All this episode did was remind me of how much they wasted the potential of the sextet.

Episode Grade: C-
Episode MVP: Amir all the way, though I agree with one of our readership on Twitter, you really shouldn't be touching a girl when she's powered down.

EXTRA THOUGHTS
-This episode was written by the man himself, Michael Jacobs. It's really fitting, honestly, that this is the guy to write an episode that I believe really defines what Girl Meets World is. Not a compliment or an insult.

-I really liked the opening scene. Riley and Maya's chemistry is a sight to behold sometimes. It's like they speak their own language that no one is capable of figuring out.

-The first classroom scene was really weird. I keep trying to figure out what Cory was getting at, but I couldn't. I really feel like this show complicates the simple things. With Mr. Feeny, I never got the impression that he was saying something complex that his students couldn't understand. This is what it sounds like when Cory talks sometimes: "Life is......DUM DUM DIDDAY!!! Do ya, dap dap, dap! Brrrrrrruh, ooooooohhhh, RAPADOOOOOO!!!! What is going to define you when you...... comma comma comma comidio. Mama say mama sa mamakusa."

-The scene where Maya references "Girl Meets Father" was so odd. I don't even know how it became about Cory being the best teacher there is. I was enjoying the possibility of a surprise Sweet 16 until he started mentioning landmarks. When Maya mentioned what she learned from the test, I genuinely thought it was a joke.

-Zay feels like one of the few human characters on this show. Him being creeped out by everyone's surprise faces, trying to get Smackle going again after she "shuts down," calling Riley and Maya strange. Girl Meets World really could have benefited from having more characters like him to counteract the drama.

-I was ready to pitch a fit about Smackle flirting with Lucas again, but they finally, finally addressed it. It was like getting your filthy tap water turned into imported champagne by Jesus himself. And I actually like the reason for it. It makes sense that Smackle would have doubts about her relationship with Farkle. It's the first one she's ever had and she comes from a place of science, not feelings. And after everything that she said just to see if her relationship with Farkle was strong enough, I had no problem with Lucas and Farkle's sting operation. It had to happen, it needed to happen, and I'm glad the writers didn't drop the ball on the reasoning.

-I'm just pointing this out because it says a lot about this show, but Farkle asks to talk to Lucas outside. Then Zay tries to recharge Smackle's "batteries," and while that's happening, Riley and Maya are talking about whatever. I don't really care about what these two are talking about because I want to see what the other characters are up to. And after the commercial break, that's when Farkle and Lucas start talking. So how long were they out there? I'm surprised we even heard their conversation. I'm going to elaborate on a lot of things this coming weekend, but one of those things is that this show was focused way too much on Riley and Maya.

-Anyone want to make heads or tails of the Auggie joke? I feel like it needed more context.

-Cory walking in with two different socks is one of the most in-character jokes they have ever made on this show. And it was hilarious. It's like they, for a time, remember things like comedy and structure and characterization. And then they forget about it the rest of the time.

-"When did things start going bad?" "Oh, the triangle took all the life out of you." I'm having a hard time figuring out if this is directed at Lucas or the show itself because I feel like it could work for both. Either way, that joke was fantastic.

-I could sit here and tell you that Topanga being made the head of the law firm in London should have been built up a lot more, hinted at throughout the season, possibly been a story arc instead of a plot device. But we've seen how well this series does with story arcs. Besides, that's like me telling you the sky is blue, The Simpsons hasn't been good in years, and Hulk Hogan is a racist. I'm just stating what we all know.

-When Riley and Maya were crying (AGAIN) at the end, I actually felt the emotion the first time. Watching it again, all I could do was laugh. If this show actually has the balls to send the Matthews to London, I'll be impressed. That would be a Meets World moment.

 - Yeah, the whole Maya referencing Meets Father out of nowhere was...the most unnatural thing I've ever seen on this show. And I just spent several paragraphs berating this show for being nothing but unnatural. It was just there, bam!, out of the blue and because it references an early Season 1 episode (Christian hadn't even started his blog yet when that episode first premiered) it became almost impossible to follow. Wait, wtf is Maya talking about failing the theory of evolution? Wtf's a boat named Beagle got to do with this?

 - In other news, I actually like this style of Mike doing the review first and then I just insert my thoughts. It feels more like what Christian and Sean are doing, which I really like, and feels more natural as a back-and-fourth.

 - also I like the black-and-red better than the green-and-red

Happy Birthday, Dove Cameron!

Yeah I found out about this, like, literally seconds ago (as of writing this sentence). So since Dove's a big thing on the network and since I like Liv and Maddie, Happy Birthday Dove!

And some other things for some general housekeeping, I guess, to make this more than just a two-line post. We've already talked about the future of this blog in one of our recent posts, about the big announcement of Girl Meets World ending. The future isn't changing because, again, it's just one show of the many we review (and the many more we theoretically can review but just don't bother yet for one reason or another - probably because it just sucks too much and feels like a chore just watching). There's much to talk about with just GMW for the time being too, even after it closes out its final episode. Just general thoughts about the show period, and breaking down some key points about its quality and history in at least some semi-organized essay format. Mike seems to have the impression that...if I don't necessarily actively dislike the show, that I have little good to say about it. Which isn't true! It's just that I have more thoughts about how disappointing it's been than thoughts about how good or great it's been. Off the top of my head I can name two truly great episodes - Meets Money and Meets She Don't Like Me. Both of those are 2nd and 3rd/Final Season episodes respectively, when the show's supposed to really hit its stride and be over the First Season Disney Channel curse already. I guess three episodes if you want to count World Meets Girl (I'm glad I'm not the only one who did like it, yay!) Oh, and I really liked Meets Texas Part 1, although Parts 2 and 3 kind of helped to sink it. That's four really, really great episodes I can name off the top of my head that really stick out in memory. Through the entire series run. That's a problem, especially for a show like GMW that's supposed to have been birthed directly from a really great kid/family-com (that I fondly remember) and a writing staff that's supposed to be automatically greater than the writing staffs of the other shows. Somehow. I can name probably three or even four from Jessie's first season alone - Gotcha Day, Tempest in a Teacup, Used Karma, Are You Cooler than a Fifth Grader...eh, that's where it tops out for now. But still. I can name some great episodes from second season - Make New Friends but Hide the Old, Why Do Foils Fall in Love, Kids Don't Wanna Get Shunned, Throw Momma From the Terrace, Break-Up and Shape-Up, Punch-Dumped Love (well, the B-plot stank but still)...that's no less than six right there. I could even probably name some from lackluster Season 3 - The Telltale Duck probably being one of the last the show had to offer, but also The Cheapskate, the Primate and the Blind Date; Under-studied and Over-done; Help Not Wanted; even Lights! Cameras! Distraction! even though that was kind of the watershed episode that marked the end of any real hope of quality from the show, and the extremely mean-spirited undertone massively helped to undercut the message the episode was going for. Even There Goes the Bride was a legitimately beautiful episode, probably the last earnest effort from the show period (we certainly didn't get it from the show's actual finale) with probably about as much emotion and effort as you're going to find from GMW (and don't give me your nostalgia-tinted biases otherwise though I'm willing to hear you out and be convinced otherwise and yes this is just me goading you into commenting below.) Even in the abhorrent Season 4 I can name one or two episodes that were good even if they were nowhere near great - Dance Dance Resolution and Identity Thieves.  

I'm getting a little off-topic now especially with the whole "Happy Birthday Dove!" thing so howabout I name some great LaM episodes. Season 1: eh, that was so long ago I'll have to look up a list and jog my memory. Kang-a-Rooney, the first Halloween episode, was pretty great. Season 2 had a lot - Kathy Kan-a-Rooney; Detention-a-Rooney; Bro Cave-a-Rooney; Rate-a-Rooney; Band-a-Rooney; Prom-a-Rooney; Ask Her More-a-Rooney; SPARF-a-Rooney. There are more but it's starting to become less a list of great episodes and more just "how much of Seasons 2 and 3 can I list from memory?" But seriously, Seasons 2 and 3 were great. Many of those episodes I listed were consecutively aired. 

Another thing I've been meaning to do is a better outlook/prediction of where these types of television shows are headed. I already did that in our 100th/1 year anniversary post but back then the future was especially murky. It was clear both networks were struggling and Disney Channel and especially XD seem to be outright failing, and at the time I was mostly thinking just how long until the networks collapse completely and end up being either void spaces on the channel finder or replaced with something entirely different (maybe sold to another mega-corp to become, I dunno, The Real History Channel: All Morons Embarrassing Themselves In Front of Millions, No Actual History). But now there are apparent strategies in place, and those strategies are pretty interesting. But again, that will be its own post.

So yeah, uh, go out there and celebrate Dove being, I dunno, what is it, 21 now? Yeah. If you're legal age I guess go ahead and toast one for her, responsibly, and don't pull a Debby drive drunk. If you're not, uh, watch a good episode of Liv and Maddie I guess. I have a cold so toasting isn't really a desirable option for me anyway, and it's freezing and gray as a Civic listed on Craigslist so there isn't a lot of outdoor options for me anyway. Maybe it's warm enough for you, and you're not-infected-enough that you can relax with a cold one on a patio or something.

On a finale Dove-related note you may be wondering if there might be a possibility of us reviewing the live version of Hairspray that Dove was in. The answer: not in a billion years.

Mike's Quest, Part 3 ("Quad With a Blog")

This show is very, um........some stuff happens and.......it's one of the most........what is this?!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. This is part three of Mike's Quest. I'm like that guy......that Spanish guy who fought the windmills. I don't know, Don Quixote or something. Anyway, the original goal was to review one episode of every current live-action sitcom on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel by the end of 2016. I failed so I decided to continue in 2017. Some shows will be alright, and some shows will be terrible. But maybe, just maybe, one show will be good at least. My hopes aren't high, but I'm sticking to my updated promise. Just a few things to clarify:

1. Shows that I have already reviewed (Henry Danger, Girl Meets World) are off the table.

2. Despite Bella and the Bulldogs ending in June 2016, I decided to make this one exception and review it anyway. It deserves the attention.

Part 1: The Thundermans

http://nickanddisneyreviewed.blogspot.com/2016/10/mikes-quest-part-1-thundermans-secret.html

Part 2: Liv & Maddie

http://nickanddisneyreviewed.blogspot.com/2016/12/mikes-quest-part-2-cali-christmas-rooney.html

Okay, let's do this.

I have a hard time talking about Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn because I don't know what to talk about. I'm familiar enough with the show, unlike Liv & Maddie, and I have seen an episode or two since it first aired. But this show might be one of the most forgettable that Nickelodeon has ever put out in its near 40-year history. I'm not exaggerating when I say that. If the show ended today, I really don't think anyone would notice. That's not to say NRDD is complete garbage like Henry Danger, or even an underrated gem like 100 Things to Do Before High School, but it's literally just there. It's one of those shows that the network didn't need, and if you compare this to anything that airs alongside it, it sticks out badly. It feels more like a family sitcom on ABC than a Nick show on Saturday night.

One of the reasons why I tend to overlook Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn and feel like it sticks out compared to other Nick live-action shows is the characters themselves. The quadruplets are still pretty young heading into season three, and I believe that makes it hard to relate to them. This wouldn't be the case if it was animated, because as we see from The Loud House, the main character can still be interesting and entertaining even though they're pretty young. But this is a live-action show with the same audience as The Thundermans and School of Rock, which have older characters and different ways of storytelling. I always felt like the characters being so young worked against them, because the audience watching this isn't going to be that interested in the endeavors of a bunch of little kids. Like I said, there would be a difference in tone if it was animated, and make it stick out more. I mean, why not have an animated series air on Saturday nights? But I digress.

The show has never done enough for me to judge it properly. It's not that good and it's not that bad. It's not even decent, it's just.....average. Very paint by numbers, and I'm worried that's going to be the case for other shows I review. I mean, I would rather have the show try and strive for something more but fail miserably, than have it just sit there and never evolve or develop in any meaningful way. But this is about the Quest, and no show goes untouched, so let's begin.

As I said earlier, this show is now officially in season three. The fact that Nickelodeon is actually allowing these shows to breathe and get more seasons is news to me. Even Henry Danger was given a fourth season. But maybe it's just because they turn away a lot of good ideas and don't have many options. Anyway, this episode is about the quads trying to save the Get Sporty cafe when a food blogger named Gourmet Guy is giving positive reviews to competing establishments. It drives away customers and prevents the cafe from going anywhere, which leads to the quads' parents contemplating closing it down. The quads attempt to make their own special food to compete with the other joints, but when they get a negative review, it is revealed that Nicky himself is Gourmet Guy. The quads decide to serve the meal Nicky originally prepared to him so he can give a guaranteed positive review, but because he doesn't think his own creation is up to snuff, he gives another negative review. It leads to a food fight, the parents deciding not to close the cafe, and a kitchen fire burning down the cafe anyway.

Okay, I have a problem or two with this. The one major problem is Nicky. I don't like how he was written in this episode. Once it's revealed that he himself is Gourmet Guy, everything falls apart. He knew that the quads were trying to save Get Sporty from shutting down and he still gives them a negative review because he has to be honest to his readers? Okay, I guess I can live with that. Then he gives another negative review, of his own food. Does Nicky have self-hatred or something? Is he a perfectionist? What the hell is going on here? Nicky was so confident and so prepared to put his meal on display at the cafe. But then he tries it himself and realizes it sucks? That doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't he have had to taste it before he unveiled it? And if he did, why did he give himself a negative review? And at the same time, possibly endanger his parents' business? They established Nicky in this episode as having a big cooking IQ, so I guess he always thought his work was crap and was perfectly fine with the cafe losing customers? Did other restaurants try locating Nicky because he claims he was anonymous, so when would he have had time to sample their foods? And why did he think it was cool to lie to his siblings like that? My brain is fried.

Also, the cafe burning down at the end meant that everything we just saw was for nothing. The parents saw how hard the quads worked to keep the place open, then there's a fire because it's funny since we just saw how hard they worked. I read that Matt Fleckenstein, the creator of the show and a former Schneider's Bakery writer, stepped down as showrunner so maybe that's one of the reasons why things didn't click like they should have. I'm just theorizing here, but losing the show's creative voice never turns out well. Season four of The Boondocks, enough said. American Dad hasn't really been as sharp as it used to since Mike Barker's departure as co-showrunner a few years back. Whatever the case may be, things felt pretty uneven and bothersome here. The episode was really on the right track until we found out that Nicky was Gourmet Guy.

Despite that, I actually laughed a few times. Humor can remove some sins, and I have to say this episode picked up in the comedy department as it went on. Dicky thinking their parents are customers, Nicky's weird usage of guacamole and the callback to it, Ricky reminding Nicky that there's only one thing on the menu, Nicky hearing everything the quads were saying from three feet away, Dawn dancing to "Peaches and Cream" by 112 with a hat on. Okay, that last thing never happened, but it would have been great if it did. All in all, it was a mildly entertaining episode with some story problems that really hurt it and kept things from being more cohesive. But it could have been a lot worse. It was just what you would expect from a show like Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn.

Episode Grade: C
Episode MVP: Aidan Gallagher. Despite my problems with Nicky in this episode, he was the most entertaining character here. A conflict between him doing right by his family and not letting his readers down could have been interesting to tackle. Instead, he just gives himself a negative review because he has low self-esteem, and doesn't really regret his actions at all. Ricky was also pretty funny, and Dicky's only as funny as the stupid jokes they give him. Dawn's not funny. Nothing she ever says is funny.

EXTRA THOUGHTS
-I always liked the theme song for this show. The whistling combined with the heavy guitars and drums, it all works for me. The opening sequence is also altered since the kids are, slowly but surely, getting older.

-As a sign that the kids are getting older, Dicky and Nicky are both going through puberty. Dicky's voice change is more noticeable than Nicky's, but you can hear the cracks and things like that. I've watched so many shows where the kids' voices change after one or two seasons, it's not even funny. What's weird is that the kids still look more or less the same, except for Dicky getting taller. I don't know if Dawn's gone through any changes because she's always had that deep voice and height advantage.

-There's a subplot, I think, involving the parents and the suggestion box and a toupee.......there wasn't much to say about it at all so I'm just going to acknowledge it and leave it at that.

-I wonder what happened to Josie working at Get Sporty because that other actress wasn't her. Did another show snatch her up?

-Am I the only one who can get Nicky and Ricky confused sometimes character-wise? I mean, Nicky's really into cooking and Ricky's a stickler for the rules, but I feel like you could blend that into one character without it being a problem.

-There's a joke where Dicky laughs at something dirty twice and then the third time, he laughs at something that isn't. I feel like they dragged it out and kinda ruined the bit.

-Brian Stepanek is the quads' father, by the way. You might recognize him as Arwin from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

-The episode title is a reference to Dog with a Blog, and it's actually a little subtle since I didn't realize that it was implying that Nicky was running a food blog. I'm glad I never have to talk about that show while I'm here.

I see Mike's gone with the black text so I'm not sure if he minds me interjecting here or not, but I will say that I actually went so far as to name "Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn Go Hollywood" as the best individual episode of Nickelodeon in 2015, so, there I guess? Though maybe in hindsight I could've named an episode of 100 Things, but meh.

Also, I'm just as shocked that the writers of NRDD remember DWaB.

Girl Meets World Reviewed: World Meets Girl (S3E19)

...you just didn't want to write an episode!

I don't know what to write, so here I go, freak it
If the plot comes, then you know I'll seek it


What is it? Normally half-hour multi-cam sitcom, but in this case a 1-hour behind-the-scenes (BTS) special in semi-single cam documentary/"freestyle" format.
Where did it air? Disney Channel, aka Not Freeform
Who stars in it? As much as the episode itself wants to sell the idea of you (as in actually you, the viewer/audience), of course it's Rowan Blanchard, Sabrina Carpenter, Peyton Meyer, Corey Fogelmanis, Amir Mitchell-Townes, Ben Savage and Danielle Fischell as always. That said a bunch of audience members actually did get to participate and be on camera - this ended up being a pretty interactive episode, after all. Well, provided that you were lucky enough to be in the audience on taping day. Oh and I guess Micheal Jacobs got to be in his own show this time too, whee.
Why are we reviewing this? Something something blah blah Girl Meets World. But seriously, while some people might dismiss the "gimmicky" and arguably throwaway nature of a BTS special like this I find it fascinating and interesting enough to warrant a full review anyway.

I wanted to make sure I got the jump on this ahead of Mike to address a specific issue because I know what you're thinking, ooooOooooooOOoohhhHhhh, Unknown, we all know how much you hate Girl Meets World so you're probably going to shit all over this obvious self-congratulatory attempt at the production crew weaseling out of actually having to do an episode, and virtually on the eve of the show's finale to boot! But that's where you're wrong, all wrong because 1.) I don't necessarily hate the show (hate's a strong word, you know) but just like Christian, Sean, and perhaps Mike I am disappointed with the overall result (and a lot of issues tangentially or more directly related to the show, but that's a near-future blog post on its own) 2.) I was coming into World Meets Girl anticipating actually liking it because I've always had a strong interest in the BTS production of TV shows, especially multi-cam comedies and World Meets Girl certainly didn't disappoint (well, for the most part) and 3.) I mean, let's face it, it's not like they were coming out with a bunch of great scripts lately anyway so why not? 

That said it's going to be hard to cover the details of something like this, when the episode is all about the details, just with absolutely no plot whatsoever. There's certainly enough bizarre moments to talk about, starting with the very beginning with the "golden ticket" thing. Now, sure, I get what they're going for, and hey if you're standing outside waiting to be a part of the live audience of a GMW taping a golden ticket would be a pretty nifty souvenir to take home, except I guess they only bothered to make two even though they probably cost a penny for a baker's dozen of them and when they let the crowd into the audience seating there's like a whole 9 of them, and they literally disappeared in what half a minute as Rowan and Sabs moved on to the catering table? Yeah I don't get that, and quite frankly this half-baked execution serves as a microcosm for a lot that's gone wrong in this series (not everything, but a lot for sure).

But that's the only real complaint I have with this BTS special (well, that and it seems like Peyton Meyer's show flashbacks were entirely about the Lucas-Maya-Riley love triangle, and therefore mostly from the Meets Texas episodes and Meets The New Year, and for some reason about six friggin' minutes long which is at least twice as long as the flashback segments for the other characters so yeah needless to say I fast-forwarded through most of that crap) and I have to admit...it made me feel good about the series. Let me repeat that: it made me feel good about the series. Not feeling good for it finally ending, not feeling good that they finally put out a halfway decent episode, it just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside about this show and characters existing, something this show should've been doing regardless, in fact something the show should've made its mission statement, and yet way too many times failed at. Row, Sabs, Peyton, Corey and Amir really made it feel that they were a family, and at least the BTS nature really sold it as being authentic. 

Speaking of which, like I said I've always been interested in the BTS intricacies of multi-cams in particular and I've been doing whatever research and studying on the Disney Channel creation and filming process I could casually Google since back when Jessie and Austin & Ally were still premiering brand-new Season 1 episodes. Even if I learned absolutely nothing new about the general process from World Meets Girl, it's always fascinating to see the creation and cast culture of each and every show - every single individual show ends up being its own culture and nationality if you want to think of it that way, and there's almost nothing two shows will do the same. Like the little "classroom" they showed on World Meets Girl ends up taking on a personality all its own distinct from, say, the equivalent room on Liv and Maddie and Good Luck Charlie. This culture and these distinct personifications, of course, being a reflection of the synergy and personalities of the cast themselves - which means you really can tell a lot about these people when they're off-book through stuff like this. And again, at least the way they present it when they still know they're being filmed, it comes off very authentic.

And the audience interaction was a nice touch too. Usually with these live audiences they know exactly what episode that's going to film that day - for example they'll literally have a ticket (not a golden one though :( ) that says "Girl Meets World Season 3 Episode 6 Girl Meets She Don't Like Me" and the date of that filming. So at the very least they would've known they're sitting in on the filming of "Girl Meets World Season 3 Episode 19 World Meets Girl" but I don't know if they would've known they're walking into an interactive BTS scenario or weren't given any assumptions or clue-ins by any of the production staff. Either way, I have to admit the flip on the usual expectation on the audience asking the questions to the cast ended up really driving home that, yes, as much as I may be a curmudgeon to this show it does matter to a lot of people. And...I think this might be the best use of the infamous Bay Window in the show's history.

Well, I think that's about all the review I can put out without going into Extra Thoughts, time to grade and let Mike take over.

Episode Grade: A+, and I don't hesitate to say that behind Meets She Don't Like Me this is actually my favorite episode of the entire series (sorry but my expectations for the two remaining ones is rather quite low).
Episode MVP: That incredibly gorgeous woman in the green dress who was sitting at the very end of her row next to Corey Fogelmanis when they were asking that one girl what she thought of whatever, and I hope to God she's in her 20s I was tempted to give it to Ben just because all his efforts to goad someone, anyone, into admitting that Cory was their favorite character came to naught, except they did find someone, or rather the best friend of someone, who had a crush on Cory/Ben (a redhead named Jessie - yeah, never seen one of those on Disney Channel before). But instead I think I'll do one of my famous cheese-out compromises and just name the entire main cast - Rowan Blanchard, Sabrina Carpenter, Peyton Meyer, Corey Fogelmanis and Amir Mitchell-Townes. Oh, and don't forget Ben Savage and Danielle Fischel. Part of it is because, yes, this could be just as much the series finale as the actual one in two weeks or so, and this is kind of the cast's last chance to show their audience just how much they've bonded through the course of the show, but also because they each individually contributed something to make this special more than just a self-congratulatory pat on the back. Row and Sabs did a great job bringing their Riley and Maya characters to life even "off-book" (although especially in Row's case much toned down compared to Riley - proving Christian and Sean's point that, yes, the character needs to be toned down) and suggesting that there is something real to their on-screen chemistry; Peyton and Corey did a great job being their goofy selves in their own way, and Amir excellently demonstrates that great timing and raw talent that, if raw talent were the only guarantee necessary (and in this case I certainly hope it is) he'll go very, very far in Hollywood. Ben and Danielle, meanwhile, show that they've still got the Cory and Topanga touch, even if it is behind the scenes.

Extra Thoughts

 - I kind of wish they'd do more BTS specials like this for all the shows actually, if anything. In a way they have in the past, but not a dedicated episode's worth - Wizards of Waverly Place did a BTS of some of the stunts during the end credits roll of "You Don't Always Get What you Carpet" (the first episode actually produced for that series, and I'm convinced the first episode actually intended to be aired instead of "Crazy 10-Minute Sale") and sometimes some show will do a gag/blooper reel during the end credits roll. Jessie did a BTS special of sorts too - short 30 second or so snippets during commercial breaks featuring equally short BTS snippets like how Mrs. Kipling (actually Frank the Lizard) does his (and yes it really is his) stunts and other "interesting factoids" (wow I must subconsciously miss A.N.T. Farm to keep bringing it up) that aired only during commercial breaks for the big Jessie marathon during the lead-up to the final season which was...huh, exactly two years ago from the very day I'm posting this actually, go figure. Wow how times flies. Anyway, those clips are also available on YouTube from the official Disney Channel, uh, channel, I believe.

 - my favorite bay window confessional was the two guys who decided this was the perfect opportunity to cosplay as perfectly still statues of themselves.

 - seriously though, those bay window confessionals were legitimately powerfully emotional, and I guess there might be something to this Bay Window Magic after all (I have to see what Christian and Sean think of that). Except I couldn't help but notice that it looks like each and every one of them went through the makeup department first, yes even the young redhead twins. Is this how everyone in LA dresses/grooms like? 

 - I know that there are typically three ways to get invited into one of these episode live-tapings: be personally invited by a cast or crewmember (in fact I understand there's even a VIP area of sorts for these type of invites), be a Greater Los Angeles County Unified School District elementary or middle school student and hope that you're lucky enough to score a class field trip to the studio, or the easiest way, just book some tickets on TVTickets.com (I just linked to the Girl Meets World page even though at this point it's obvious they're not doing any live tapings anymore, ever, but none of the Disney Channel/XD/Nickelodeon shows are scheduled for live tapings, in-production or not, so I figure why not). The nice part about it is that these tickets are (usually) just given away freely as long as seating is still available, so you only need to worry about actual transportation and lodging costs for once you get there.

 - I think this might be Girl Meet World's first (and therefore only) one-hour special. Back during Disney Channel's height (or at least pre-fall) in the 2010-2014 era this would be nearly unheard of; nearly every series was guaranteed a one-hour special. Including crossovers Jessie got five (that's one more than Jessie even had seasons total); Good Luck Charlie had four including crossovers. Hell even A.N.T. Farm got one, in the first season no less. Dog With a Blog snuck one in nearly at the last minute with Stan Has Puppies. I don't know if making the BTS special the one-hour special feels like a copout as so much as if it really counts. They could've just made at least the first two parts of Meets Texas a combined one hour (K.C. Undercover has done exactly this multiple times - for nearly each of its one-hour+ specials so far in fact - and since Meets Texas is more obviously congruent in plot than most of the KC Undercover 1 hour specials which feel more like individual episodes with a common over-reaching arc, they easily could've gotten away with it) but whatever. Maybe Ski Lodge was an hour long, I don't know, I didn't see a lot of reason to religiously watch the series by that point.

 - Either way the lack of one-hour specials seems to be a new trend now. I don't think Austin & Ally actually had a formal one-hour special which is unusual especially for a wildly successful show from its era, although they did end up stitching together the final two episodes into one (I think they've separated them in rerun airings). I don't think Best Friends Whenever ever had one, and I know neither did I Didn't Do It. Maybe if they had gone to three seasons but usually a show'd have a one-hour special at least by the second season so they can at least get it during their guaranteed run.

 - and yeah, any thoughts about the ending of the series will be in a future post. At least two, in fact.

Unknown is only doing this to get back at me for doing the cancellation story too early. I'm only tossing this off as an accusation and I have literally no evidence or proof to give you, but I'm putting conviction over facts here.

I'm going to come right out and say that this show has had a death wish for a long time. There's no way any other show would do an episode like this without knowing its days are numbered. I just get this sense of them closing the book with an episode like this. And if the next episode is anything to go by, I assume that Disney knew they didn't want GMW anymore, but the writers were just being led on this whole time. It's a little sad, but there has to be more behind all of this than the writers just wanting to do something for the fans.

With that being said, this episode sucked. I say that because I'm judging it by what it chooses to be, an episode. This wasn't a behind the scenes special where we find out how episodes are made and potential story ideas. This was a behind the scenes special functioning as an actual one-hour episode, without any irony or attempt at telling a real story. If it wanted to be a behind the scenes special, then it could have been by all means. I wouldn't have a problem with that. But it's an actual episode.....with a script and people who worked on the story. I don't even know what that would look like, and I'm curious to know, but whatever. I don't understand why this couldn't have been a YouTube special instead of a two-part episode. It just makes the viewer think they're going to get something substantial when they're really getting something that's usually online. 

Watching this drag on and on and on, and seeing all the fans interact with the cast, it made me realize something. This show shouldn't have been a spin-off. When you do something like this, it's supposed to try and capture the tone of the original series. In spite of how I feel about Fuller House, it captures the tone of Full House very well. It walks, talks, and feels like the original show was transported into modern times. Girl Meets World never did that. And it doesn't look like that was ever the intention. You see teenage girls talk about how this show has helped them out, you see the meaning of friendship, you see little girls look up to Riley and Maya like superheroes........this doesn't feel like Boy Meets World. These shows don't belong in the same universe. Watching the best BMW episodes, followed by the best GMW episodes, it's like night and day. It's like if Degrassi: The Next Generation ended up being like Even Stevens when it first came out. These shows are so alienated from each other, they don't even need to be together. 

I don't know. I would have been more invested in this if there was something more interesting and unique about it. So much of this is spent with fans talking about what they like about the show, 95% of them teenage girls. It's the cast asking the audience questions, which isn't a bad idea, but it goes on for way too long and it's not something I needed to see in an episode. I could seriously go to YouTube right now and find another show doing something like this. The closest this episode came to doing something unique is the bay window scene. That stupid window still irritates me something fierce and I want to shatter it with every fiber of my being, but seeing real life best friends break down like that when they sat in front of it was pretty touching.

It got me thinking that this is the best the bay window has ever been used. And that's sad considering this is a throwaway episode. Think about it. What memorable moments have come from this window? The only one that comes to mind is when Riley broke down in tears when telling Maya about her bully. That was a powerful, heartfelt moment. But everything else is just in one big blur. Riley and Maya's best bay window moment was in this episode, when they became Rowan and Sabrina and talked about their real life friendship that would have never happened if not for the show. 

If nothing else, this shows how much of a family the cast really is. There's this level of closeness and genuine pride in what they do that doesn't always come off as sincere. But the cast and crew really do operate as one unit. I don't see any egos or feel any negative vibes here. This special was a sign of how devoted these fans really are to the show they love, and how much the people working on this show care about their demographic.......I mean, fans. 

Like I said, this doesn't work as an episode at all, because it's not. It's one of those Girl Meets World things where they try something new and it just falls flat on its face. But as a behind the scenes special, which is what it should have been, it's satisfying enough and actually helped me realize just how much I'm going to miss this show when it closes its doors in two weeks. It's not Boy Meets World, but it's its own thing, and that's what it should have been from the beginning. 

Special Grade: B
Episode Grade: D-

Special MVP: Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter. That moment at the end when these two cry at the window and reflect on their friendship......beautiful. That's what you call a meaningful moment, when you have the history to back it up.

Episode MVP: Alfonso Ribeiro. I was watching Fresh Prince last night, the one where Ashley starts attending Will and Carlton's school, and the scene where Carlton doesn't realize that the hot girl is Ashley until Will points it out is absolutely hilarious. Carlton's scream killed me so much, I had to rewind it constantly. 

EXTRA THOUGHTS
-I wouldn't recommend this episode to anyone. You know, because it's not an episode. Seriously, I don't get why they felt the need to make their first one-hour special a behind the scenes clip show. 

-"Michael, why are we doing this episode?" "Yeah, it's weird." "Well, we wanted to include the fans in an episode and this is it." "So you're saying you just didn't want to write an actual episode?" "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying." This is the gist of an actual conversation in the episode. I'm pretty sure the actors had no idea what to make of the script when they first saw it.

-It's really jarring to watch all those old clips from season one. I only say that because these kids have grown so much in less than three years. Literally all of them. Also, I've been meaning to say this for a while, but Rowan looked older in season two than she does now. I don't even know how that's possible, maybe it's her wardrobe. 

-One of the funniest moments of this episode is when Smackle's actress appears on screen and starts talking about fans all over the world. It's really awkward because she makes a joke about not being included enough, but it was framed so seriously that I didn't even  know for sure and I busted out laughing. I feel like this special could have justified its existence as an episode by being more self-aware. I don't know, just deconstructing the whole behind the scenes special thing like The Simpsons did. 

-Michael Jacobs said that Peyton Meyer was a great comedian and nobody plays deadpan better than him. I don't think he's playing, honestly. 

-Ben Savage trying to get kids to name Cory their favorite character was pretty funny. 

-"What are your feelings on 'Ski Lodge?' I have a lot of feelings." Are your feelings that the episode was a terribly written, emotionally scarring waste of time that should have never made it to air?

-The one girl who named her favorite episode "Home for the Holidays" was pretty adorable. 

-The only good thing about the bloopers is that I got to hear Lucas' British accent again. That was pure comedy. 

-There was this one girl that was breaking down at the bay window thinking about how she was jealous of her best friend in elementary school. I'm sorry, but I couldn't even pretend like that wasn't funny.

-It's really funny to me how 95% of GMW's fanbase is teenage girls. I wanted to hear an adult's thoughts on the show. Then again, most of the BMW fans who first tuned in probably never came back. 

Girl Meets World, 2014-2017.

It's over. 

No need to defer or speculate anymore about the future of Girl Meets World. It's been reported on Entertainment Weekly, IGN, and other news outlets that Disney Channel has decided not to renew the show for a fourth season, meaning the episodes coming this month will mark the end of the series.

The writers commented on this on Twitter last night in a way that we all expected: "We gave you our best," among other things. Honestly, I'm a little more sad about the news than I thought would be. In spite of everything I've said about the show, I was still a fan. All I wanted was for it to realize its potential. Unless another network (or Netflix) picks it up in a power move, then it will never have the chance to.

I would say more, but there's plenty of time for that on January 20 when the show airs its last episode. And no, I don't know why Disney Channel would ever make a decision like airing its entire live-action block two hours earlier because apparently, it's still 2006. But yeah, if you want to catch new Girl Meets World episodes this month, tune in at 6:00. It's prime time for the Mountain time zone, I hear.

Yeah, but anyway, since the show is dead, I'll resume my job of reviewing every episode. "Ski Lodge" still gives me nightmares, but I might as well somewhat finish the job. I was already going to stop after season three, so I'm just going to give these last few episodes my attention.

I still haven't seen the Christmas one.

For someone who's studied the industry and its habits (and by that I mean I read a lot of TVByTheNumbers - before Screengrabber turned it into an absolute shitshow, thank you you incompetent greedy, grubby morons - and TVGrimReaper.com and MaskedScheduler.com) the handwriting was on the wall sometime in the middle of Season 2 so it's been something that I could reliably predict when it was coming (and Sean and Christian themselves said as much they could make that same prediction). I respect the work Sean and Christian do - their blog is the direct inspiration for this one and GMW is their show, so I think it's only fair they make the big announcement even though their readership admittedly far outsizes ours - hence why I've waited until now to say something (well, a few days after Mike made the post to factor in some laziness). Despite what Mike thinks no I don't hate the show per se - at least not enough that I'm overtly happy that it's three and done. But I do have a lot of thoughts and I've been working on an essay or two about those specifically, so I'll post my thoughts there.

Unlike Mike I won't be bothering joining in on every review because I really don't feel like doing that kind of chore (and I mean just watching the episodes, not including reviewing them).Besides I think I'll sum up all the thoughts I possibly can have pretty soon anyway. 

As for the future of this blog, this changes absolutely nothing, and that's by design. Like I said GMW was Christian and Sean's show, but for us it's just one of many. We'll try to cover Liv and Maddie and Thundermans as best we can until they close out, and we'll be here for Bizaardvark, Bunk'd (I guess), Stuck in the Middle, etc. as we at least feel like it (it's becoming increasingly harder to stomach an entire season's worth for any particular show) along with DCOMs and other movies and special televised events on these networks.

I probably should have seen this coming since early 2016 when Disney finally renewed the show for a third season after waiting so long. The show earned a second season in August 2014, a little over a month after it started airing. I honestly think the network lost faith in it at some point, but like I said, I don't want to talk too much until inauguration day. That's going to be a strange day, Unknown. Trump gets sworn in and Girl Meets World has its series finale.

I thought about the state of this blog after January 20, since most of my reviews have been GMW episodes. But I guess to prepare for that, I'm going to have to start becoming more invested in other shows. Tomorrow, Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, & Dawn returns for season three.......and I don't know anyone particularly looking forward to it, but it will make a good Part 3 for Mike's Quest. 

I actually teased Christian and Sean about it because I was able to get this post up before they could. Once it was confirmed, I knew I had to get the exclusive story. Besides, most of the people that read GMWReviewed probably don't even know that this blog exists.

I am interested in hearing your final thoughts. I never thought you despised the show, but whenever it comes up, you definitely don't have anything nice to say. 

I'm debating over whether or not I should review Rufus 2. I didn't even see the first one entirely, but I don't think this sequel has much to do with the original movie anyway. 

Eh, Nickelodeon (or at least Teen Nick) has been rerunning Rufus 1 incessantly so hopefully you'll have chance to catch it.

Why the hell can't I get the green color to stick?

I'm pinning that very last thing on you, Mike. Thanks for deciding this blog needs to look like a Christmas tree. Anyway, where the text gets a different font, that's Mike. He has a lot of great things to say so I really want credit where it's due, hence why I think it's important people know which words are his.

And I do have nice things to say! I said a whole bunch of nice things about World Meets Girl! I'm literally the only person in the whole world to do so! Girl Meets The Only Person in the World to Like World Meets Girl: The Saga of the Unknown Blogger. Original memoirs, please do not steal. I loved Meets She Don't Like Me, bad grammar, Smackle's censored potty mouth and all, and spoiler alert I named it the best single individual episode of all of Disney Channel for 2016. If that episode had aired in 2015 or 2014 I don't think I would've changed that accolade either (I'm trying to remember if 2014 - Jessie's last good year, Good Luck Charlie's last year period and when Liv and Maddie was starting to really hit its stride - had any episodes that could compete with Meets She Don't Like Me. I don't think GLC did since, well, it was starting to phone it in that last year. Jessie was starting to phone it in too, at least compared to its really great first season and even compared to the second season, but at least it was still entertaining and worthwhile to watch unlike its final season which was "hey, at least it's tolerable" at best and at worst, well.... Lights, Camera, Distraction! was an earnest effort at something GMW would try to pull off, but even I'll admit the writing style of its head writers was not holding the show back but turned what should've been GMW-Lite into something with outright mean-spirited undertones, one of the underlying complaints of the show during its entire run. Kathy Kan-a-Rooney was an amazing episode, and the first episode that really convinced me that this show was headed for greatness, so it's not like 2014 was competition-free. As for 2015 you can see in the appropriate post for that, it had stiff competition from Rate-a-Rooney, Detention-a-Rooney and Ask Her More-a-Rooney but those were episodes that could stand toe-to-toe with GMW's ideal, rather than the other way around. See I just said another nice thing about GMW! Wow, I stuffed the hell out of these parentheses). As for other nice things...well, I think I have nicer things to say about individual episodes than the series as a whole. I loved Meets Money. That was brilliant everywhere, up and down. Not nearly as brilliant as She Don't Like Me but close enough. There were other episodes I really loved. But I guess I just have more fondness for these individual episodes than when asked to think of the series as a whole. When I'm asked to think of the series as a whole, it just brings up how frustrating the whole is with its wildly uneven quality and - here's the thing - the amount of baggage the series came with. Baggage that I don't think people were really anticipating, or at least the people who should've anticipated it really thought through. You'll have to wait for a future blog post for that one, but if any of you guys reading this read Christian and Sean's blog as religiously as I do, you might get what I mean. If you read some of Christian's first posts when he started that blog, and Sean's first posts when he joined that blog - no, you won't get a sense of the baggage that I'm getting at, but you will get a sense of why dealing with that baggage is important. Jacobs and his staff failing to deal with that baggage was a massive disservice to the fans, and if you go back and read those posts I asked you to read, you'll see it's a major disservice to Christian and Sean above any other fan on the planet. It's almost as if I were to, say...experience the horror that was Jessie, Season 4.

And it wasn't just a disservice to the fans, it was a disservice to the network itself. I've PM'ed some of my thoughts to some people about what I mean exactly by this...but the rest of you will have to wait for its own post. It's going to be a doosey, although I'll probably try my best efforts to rein it in (and still fail). It's a pretty emotional topic which I'll get to in a paragraph or so. 

Like I said in...this post? Another post? A post I haven't even published yet? Yeah I'm disorganized aye-eff...we'll be here for the forseeable future. There are other shows to write about, though the quality grounds seem to be getting more and more fallow. Hopefully the That's So Raven spinoff following on the heels of the Fuller House/GMW nostalgia can live up to the hype for once along with the Ricky Garcia/FIYM vehicle coming up. I hope Christian and Sean bother to, too, but it seems like they're going to call it quits after they wrap up Meets Goodbye. That's sad, if not outright wrong, and I mean it. But cest'e la vie, amirite? They weren't good bloggers; they were excellent bloggers. Even given Sean's propensity to use...dank as aye-eff image macro-based memes (and yet I'm the one who just typed out "dank" and "aye-eff.") But on the other hand GMW was the only show on either network we cover that they were interested in. Even after trying the other shows, they just can't. I don't even know what shows on the mainstream broadcast and cable networks or even premium networks they'd want to bother to cover (yet another GoT blog? Given all the random GoT-references I randomly throw out Jessie/Bunk'd style this very blog at times seems like yet another one).

Mentioning Kathy Kan-a-Rooney, Bro Cave-a-Rooney, Rate-a-Rooney and Detention-a-Rooney reminded me how I had kind of sunk back into a bad place at that time and as silly as it sounds those shows were actually a major help and comfort. I'm not kidding, it got to the point where watching those episodes on Watch Disney Channel was the only way I'd be able to get to sleep. And I've written a few posts dedicated to my weird relationship with Jessie (which, come to think of it, when I was commenting on their blog may have weirded Christian and Sean out a little...¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) But you can read on their blog their thoughts on Boy Meets World, which when it started out and even until it ended (when it desperately tried to grow up with its audience and failed miserably...and it looks like the writing quality didn't necessarily improve in-between then and GMW) it was pretty much of the same ilk as what's on Disney Channel today, maybe just not under the lens of today's hyper-exaggerated sensibilities. It was an important show to them, too. I think it's possible to end up having a lot of surprising sources for inspiration and comfort, and especially when it comes to comfort the "recommended age" label starts getting ignored more often. Back in '12-'13, when I started "guilty pleasure-watching" or "comfort-watching" it wasn't uncommon to hear a lot of confessions from other adults doing the same, and of course when GMW was announced all bets were off, it was now mainstream (or at least more mainstream). Aside from the...sigh...rather annoying GMW nostalgia crowd it's not uncommon for adults to unabashedly admit they watch Liv and Maddie or Thundermans (unlike iCarly it seems Schneider's most recent works, especially Game Shakers, fails to carry on the critical adult street cred but meh). I guess we can write about that. I keep making vague references to some new career move I've been making that's been taking up my time and...well it turns out I'm switching careers from the teaching field to the publishing industry, specifically in editing (although it's not set in stone so it could be another job) and the experiences that ultimately lead to the creation of this blog are very much related to that. Since I'm specializing in the young adult genre a lot of my time has been devoted to keeping up with those trends (which you'd probably figured out in our 100th post/1 year anniversary post and the follow-up posts to that) which means a lot of time not spent here. I was going to make a more detailed, prominent mention in another post but eh shoving it on the ass-end of this old post nobody's going to read anymore works too, I guess. But I'm hoping I'll have more time in Feb and March to catch up, hopefully to at least turn in some final thoughts on GMW when they're still relevant.

A Look Back: At the Dearly Departed, and the (rather dire) state of Nick and Disney

But first, some housekeeping notes!

For starters, in deference to Mike I'm going to relocate this from his post to here:

I deeply apologize for interrupting Mike here off-topic but...I suppose this is as close to a "this is a breaking news interruption we will return to your regularly scheduled program" break as we're likely ever to have on this blog. The reason why I'm doing this is specifically to avoid a dedicated post about it which I'll get to shortly. There's some news that's been circulating around, and given the subject matter of this blog and what's been of people's highest interest as of late you can probably guess what it is, but in deference to Christian and Sean at GirlMeetsWorldReviewed.blogspot.com I am going to request everyone defer from making any statements until they break the news and publish their thoughts first.

Reposted in unmodified form because I'm lazy, and I'm also sick and have a headache.

Secondly, I've been getting complaints from posters that their comments haven't been showing up so I've removed all posting restrictions whatsoever - this means you should be able to post anonymously if you want, and that your posts should show up immediately without having to wait in the moderation cue (which I think was eating some of the posts sitting there). Hopefully it'll work, and hopefully it'll let the readership or at least commentariat grow beyond just the three or so of you who currently bother. Finally, I had started writing this post when it was still 2016 so it's written as if it were, and I didn't bother to update it because, again, lazy, sick, headache. 

...
Yes, I know I haven't finished the MVP tally - the formatting is horrid (though not as bad as I had feared), I hadn't even tallied Mike's MVP awards and I am well aware that I've given MVP awards to an animated gif, a soggy samosa, an article of midriff-revealing clothing, not one but two YouTube stars from some...really strange and questionable series and at least once to myself. I'll get back to that one, I promise, but right now I want to move on to some other things since it's been something of discussion on the Twittersphere and IMDb right now - the number of series from both Nickelodeon and Disney Channel that's been canceled, and the sorry state both networks are in.

When I did this last year I was shocked at the sudden, out-of-nowhere nosedive in ratings of Nickelodeon and especially Disney Channel (Nickelodeon had been somewhat insulated from the 2015 "Kidocalypse" because it had already suffered so badly the two years prior) but if I had any idea what 2016 would be like, maybe I would've held off on the whole Kidocalypse thing. I mean, wow. Disney Channel got utterly hammered this year. For the entirety of the 2013 calendar year an episode of Jessie was considered weak if it could barely get over 3.5-3.75 million viewers. In 2014, Jessie dipped below 2 million for the first time (exactly twice I believe) but still on average got around above 3 million viewers while Girl Meets World was easily achieving around 3.5 million. In 2015 Jessie was struggling to get around 2.5 million, while Girl Meets World was pretty much stuck there on the "easy average" especially late in the year. Nowadays Girl Meets World is struggling to get above 1.5 million and it's still the network's most popular show. Or in other words, the top shows of the network have lost over 2 million viewers in the course of two-three years. In 2013 an especially weak show like A.N.T. Farm could still be expected to get over 3 million viewers routinely - the spread between the most and least successful shows was actually pretty narrow, indicating good "retention" as they say in the industry. In 2014 that spread started to widen, as A.N.T. Farm closed out around 2.5 million or less and I Didn't Do It struggled to get out of 2 million period for its entire existence (and flirted with 1 million flat for multiple episodes). That spread started to lessen again in 2015 and is again very thin in 2016 - but only because the top shows have followed the laggers to the bottom. Best Friends Whenever, which just had its series finale (we'll get to that more in a bit) hovered around 1 million for its final season, and even stronger shows like K.C. Undercover, Stuck in the Middle and Bizaardvark aren't doing much better (again, Girl Meets World is pretty much doing only half a million better as the network's strongest). It's gotten so bad that people are just wondering, what's next for Disney Channel?

Nickelodeon in comparison is doing much stronger, and I don't hesitate to call it their year (though I do still hesitate to outright declare them a winner, much like I did last year when I simply declared both networks losers). Their strongest shows are still doing below 3 million, but with for example The Thundermans hanging on above 2.5 million, they look to be on solid ground compared to Disney Channel. That said, they've shed quite a few shows themselves.

What may be Disney Channel's last unqualified live-action successes, Liv and Maddie (Cali-style!) and Girl Meets World, will come to an end - early next year so they don't count. What does count, however, is Austin & Ally which drew out its fourth season in February after some 87 episodes and is so far the second-to-last live-action series to get a fourth season, behind Liv and Maddie (no it really doesn't look like Girl Meets World is getting that fourth season, get over it already). Also coming to a close is Best Friends Whenever, which aired its series finale just last week and is the second two-season wonder behind I Didn't Do It. In fact being the first new series after IDDI, it pretty much makes it two in a row now. 

On the Disney XD front, Gravity Falls ended just prior to Austin & Ally with just two seasons, but two seasons stretched over four calendar years, premiering all the way back in Summer '12 (what certainly didn't help were long season breaks, with no episodes to speak of from October '12 through March '13, and again from August '13 to Summer/Fall 2014, going nearly a whole year without any new episodes aired. And people say the long breaks between Girl Meets World episodes is bad!) Both Mighty Med and Lab Rats ended late in 2015 with Lab Rats enjoying its retitled Bionic Island fourth season while Mighty Med ended with only two - but this is 2016 so they don't really count either. I only mention them because I neglected to mention Disney XD at all last year (as those were the highest-profile live-action shows ending that year, and on the network period) and because both of those shows ended up combining Voltron-style to form Lab Rats: Elite Force - which turned out to be one-and-done lasting only from this March to this September with a cliffhanger of all things, and to the best of my knowledge the only live-action scripted show on either network to be a one-season wonder since all the way back to So Random!! (and other than such, possibly since the premiere of Hannah Montana marking the current era). I believe this leaves only Kirby Buckets (which will burn off its whole third and final season almost entirely in January) and Walk the Prank as the only even partially scripted live-action series on XD, or for that matter live-action series period. There may be more shows ending, but there's so many what I consider to be near throw-away animation (Pickle & Peanut, FutureWorm!), imports (Yokai Cannot Bear To Ever Watch), or just animation period (Star vs. the Forces of Evil which I'm sorry I just can't get into, Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero which, again, sorry, but I consider it extremely mediocre and just not worth having the photons impact my irises) that it's just not worth my time keeping track of all this shit.

As Mike mentioned in his latest review, Bella and the Bulldogs ended with two seasons, a seemingly increasingly common trend for either network when just a short while ago it was nearly unthinkable - if you got a series on Disney Channel at least, it was practically guaranteed to run the whole three-season gamut. It's still better than Legendary Dudas, which apparently was strictly a summer burn-off being a one-season wonder with just six episodes aired. Likewise, 100 Things to Do Before High School (a series I voted best of the network a year ago) left permanently after its Valentines Day-themed episode and didn't even quite make the ordered 26 Things to do Before High School (though probably because the "movie" took up the first two). And maybe a cartoon here or there didn't make it, again, there's too many to really keep track of but surprisingly with a second season ordered into '17, Pig Goat Banana Cricket isn't one of them (and I actually like that show!)




So our final tally ends up being one series two-and-done for Disney Channel proper in '16 (Best Friends Whenever) and one that got to close out a fourth season (Austin & Ally), a series that's one-and-done on XD (LR Elite Force) and one that had two stretched out over an insanely long period (Gravity Falls) and three live-action series done on Nickelodeon (Bella and the Bulldogs, 100 Things to do Before High School and Legendary Dudas). That's two for Disney Channel, two for Disney XD and three for Nickelodeon - or four for Disney with everything combined, making Nickelodeon the winner in this case, but its not exactly a victory to brag about.

Breaking it down by which series that have left us did so as actual successes, it gives the "winner" even less to brag about. Only Austin & Ally and (arguably) Gravity Falls bowed out with full runs; of the single networks Disney Channel proper still comes out the "winningest" as Best Friends Whenever still got a second season; LR: Elite Force so far as the most embarrassing crash-and-burn since, well, Crash & Bernstein (which I believe still got a second season). Nickelodeon couldn't even do that, with their greatest "success" of the shows leaving being the two-season Bella and the Bulldogs, and one of the other series apparently being a sacrificial summer burnoff. That's 1/2 for Disney Channel, 1/2 for Disney XD and 0/3 for Nickelodeon; or 2/4 for Disney networks combined, making them the clear winner with that metric in mind and again, not exactly a victory to brag about.

But I know what you're thinking, Nickelodeon's still the most successful so far because Thundermans, Henry Danger, Game Shakers (for bizarre reasons) and School of Rock (for reasons even more bizarre to the point where I have to wonder if Russian hackers were involved) all got renewed to Season 3 at least, with Thundermans ending their fourth and final season deep into '17. And yeah, when I do this late in '17 they're probably going to come out the clear overwhelming winner - but this goes to illustrate how weak both networks were in the '15-'16 television seasons (especially if Game Shakers and School of Rock end up being the greatest successes, Oy Vey).


This leads into a bigger question, what the future of both networks will end up being like? Disney Channel is in a highly precarious position right now if eve a big "hit" ends up being below 2 million, if not barely hovering above 1.5 million (or even worse). Yes, ratings and success are relative, but there comes a point where it stops being sustainable. Is Disney Channel a dead network walking? I hope such a prediction gets seen as silly by the new year's end, but we'll have to see. Meanwhile, at least Nickelodeon looks like it's stabilized. 

It's official. We can pay our respects in the next post, if you know what I mean. Changed to green text because I think I didn't write this, I certainly don't remember. The software isn't exactly the most friendly and I know from experience it's an oversight I've made before tons and tons of times.