Almost one year later, overeducated, over-inflated hipster media still acts like clueless butthurt dumbfucks over Girl Meets World

If you've ever wondered about what I meant exactly by bringing in a poisonous fanbase and a clueless media set to do more damage than actual review and analysis, well, here's your pair of shining examples.

According to the metrics Blogspot itself is telling me, my article about the ultimate failure of Girl Meets World and exactly where the blame lies is still one of the most-read articles in the history of this blog, which I guess should come as no surprise given how, for better or worse (I'd argue for worse, as given almost the whole point of that essay) Girl Meets World still remains one of the highest profile shows in Disney Channel's history. I still maintain that maybe, just maybe, Disney Channel would've been better off just letting the concept pass and let the past be - and frankly, these pair of "real genius" examples of exactly the type of editorial writing that's come to make me ashamed to be a Millennial serve to only bolster my original assertion (which of course is going to be correct because, quite simply, I'm not a blithering moron). 

Ultimately, the criticisms of what went wrong with Girl Meets World (aside from this blog and at least to some extent Christian and Sean's, of course) are going to boil down to one pat, standard shouting match from the top of a massive pile of naked faux-wisdom - blame Disney Channel. And even then, that's not necessarily unfair criticism because believe me Disney Channel deserves heaps and heaps of it and I by no means am a Disney Channel fanboy/stan who thinks they can do no wrong - but it'd be helpful if these people actually understood the network they're blasting. 

Ultimately what's at issue is confusion over the separation and distinction between provider/distributor and creator. Yes, Disney Channel, as the network and provider/distributor, wields a huge amount of influence over the creation of each and every episode of Girl Meets World (and for that matter every other show), effectively having the power to overrule the writers/showrunners and simply demanding that they dictate their wishes. And that certainly happens, at least to an extent, to each and every episode of every single show ever to have legitimate claim to being a US Disney Channel original (and at least to some extent foreign Disney Channel outlets, although those have a level of autonomy that might shock you). But the exact extent of those dictates and demands is often greatly exaggerated - other than a few basic guidelines, they can be pretty hands-off as far as actual core narratives are concerned. Do you really think some mouse-eared suit angrily dictated the exact contents of each episode of Liv and Maddie to Ron Hart and Jon D. Beck? Or did the same for every episode of Phineas and Ferb to Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh? (and I'd also like to point out how quickly people forget that this is the same network that even brought us Phineas and Ferb when speaking of Girl Meets World). To roughly paraphrase the greatest World of Tanks Let's Play-er in the history of YouTube - Claus Kellerman - if you seriously think that, you have to have some serious issues going on in your head (and you're just plainly a pathetic useless super-stupid). 

I've gone a pretty long length without even linking to the specific articles in question so here you go - we have this article from some site called StudyBreak, which from all appearances aspires to be a fourth-tier-at-best, very selectively racist cut-rate version of Jezebel/Gizmodo Media (good luck with that guys, and don't get sued by Hulk Hogan) arguing that GMW didn't have enough time to develop, and this somehow even worse article from some site called Hypable which, well, I think the clickbait-y name tells you all you need to know (also, and advance warning: do not turn off your adblock because quite frankly such a low-quality "journalism outlet" doesn't deserve a single dime from you, even in the form of advertising, so do what I do and just read the article through their extremely poorly thought-out piece of adblock-off begging) that plays the "blame Disney Channel" card straight-up. In all honesty I can't blame either site for this because I can understand their priorities lie hidden in pie slices a lot bigger than the mere stakes of children's television - but they completely misunderstand it all the same. Again, there's a lot of confusion going on in mistaking that Micheal Jacobs must somehow be the very CEO of Walt Disney Inc., or that the actual CEO Bob Iger is also credited as the sole scriptwriter for every single episode of everything, ever.

The StudyBreak article - which to be fair, is the most fair of the two - argues that the show didn't have time to develop. And there's some truth to that - but it's still a flimsy excuse. It's not so much generous as to assume that Jacobs probably got pretty rusty between the end of Boy Meets World and the start of Girl Meets World as it's simply disingenuous to not give him that benefit of the doubt - skills atrophy after all, and that's as true of intellectual and creative skills as it is of physical and athletic stills (as I recently found out the hard way when I discovered I barely remember anything worth a damn from my aerospace undergrad degree). But that doesn't excuse the truly amateur-hour effort Jacobs brought to the network from the get-go. He's a highly respected veteran of the industry and he brought us this? Really, if anything, GMW, at least in its first two seasons, really suggests that maybe Jacobs is just damn near-permanently stuck in the 90s, recycling the same damn tropes and narrative styles that were commonplace when Cory was in Riley's shoes. And yeah, we've seen other shows on Disney Channel ply heavily in the same exact sins - Dog With a Blog, A.N.T. Farm, even Austin & Ally - but guess what, those shows all improved, and within the space of three seasons no less (well...A.N.T. Farm got significantly, significantly worse in its final season and A&A's dip was in the middle two seasons, but still). And yeah, I have to disclose that Jessie sank into the same trap in its last two seasons, especially its final one - but again, Dog With a Blog improved. Liv and Maddie never fell into that trap. And I'm willing to bet the author never even heard of Good Luck Charlie. Yeah, I'm not buying it. Jacobs had his time, and he squandered it. The network recognized it, and the flagging audience ratings, and their patience had run out. I'm not buying it.

Not to mention, what the hell else are you expecting? There's been no live-action series that's exceeded four seasons. None. Nada. Zilch. Most end at three anyway. Again, this goes back to the lack of nuanced knowledge the author had but...then again I guess I'm not really expecting the author to really understand that. But again, shows have had that same time, and they've improved (or gotten worse) and...yeah, yet again for the billionth time, which direction did GMW go again?

Exactly none of that was on Disney Channel. Exactly all of that is on Jacobs.

And now the somehow even lower-quality article from Hypable - which, I have to admit I just noticed is back from when the show was still brand-new in its first year - in fact most of the articles about how GMW fails is along similar lines. Blah blah blah, it's because the entire network sucks. In case you haven't gotten the message, I'm a bit sick and tired of hearing this.

This, in fact, is what I was getting at with my piece all the way from the beginning of this year. It doesn't really matter what year the criticism is from, because most of the results still bring up the same shit from that first year. It's a mass-media that just wants to feed off the nostalgia hysteria and if it doesn't live up to their expectations, all the more better because now it's ripe for clickbait. And what does that in turn bring? A poisonous fanbase made up of pathetic useless super-stupid Millennial man-children who have confused snark and irony for actual criticism and in turn confused that said criticism for the actual entertainment. Yeah I'm kinda-sorta subtly blaming AV Club and specifically poisonous "professional reviewer" and pathetic useless super-stupid Millennial man-child (or whatever generation he falls into) Todd Van Der Werff for the downfall of the state of television (with the recent merger of AV Club with Gizmodo Media...yeah, they kinda deserve each other). If you don't like it you can A.) sue me B.) deal with it.

What I'm saying is, and what I have been saying is...sad to say, but maybe, just maybe...greenlighting Girl Meets World wasn't the best move in Disney Channel history.