Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Massive Review Compilation and Catch-up of things I (Unknown) missed!

So yeah, like I mentioned in the last review post (which, as of when I'm writing this, was like five minutes ago) I'm going to just plop a whole bunch of stuff down in here that I've missed throughout the year so far for various reasons. I'll try to make it relatively comprehensive but if there's something I missed, let me know! Format will still be the same as always - opening quote, review body, Episode Grade, Episode MVP, but the review body will be condensed into a paragraph-ish thing and merged with Extra Thoughts. 

UPDATE: I just went by Girl Meets World Reviewed and saw their Best Character feature...so what say you guys? Think we should rip them off and do a best character feature too? We'll probably do all-around Nick/Disney Channel as opposed to specific shows, and leave a comment telling us if we should bother and who you want to see on our list.

So let's get started with whatever happens to pop into my mind first:

Lost in the West

Insert some stupid idiotic "Hoof Hearted" joke in here, which is one of the few things I remember about this pathetic excuse for whatever it is.

Yeah, seriously, wtf? I'm pretty sure I could write a better script as I'm sitting here at Starbucks. I'm really not sure what the thought process going into this is but for one of the very few specials Nick has done that's bothered to be over an hour, this wasn't just a misfire, this was outright piss-awful down to the juvenile-even-for-Nickelodeon-especially-in-2016 jokes.

Episode Grade: D-, into the trash it goes.
Episode MVP: Part 1 - there was like a really nice redhead the camera panned over towards the beginning of the "Old West" part; Part 2 - Fallon Smythe I guess? Part 3 - yeah ain't happenin'.

Make it Pop! Summer Special Yeah Whatever

I don't remember enough to bring up a quote, yeah maybe this is a bad idea, not like this sorry excuse for a "summer special whatever" deserves one

So there's this super-uptight girl (and I do mean girl, she's like 17) running this resort her parents own or something, and she's the designated bad guy because uptight, and there's zero motivation going around other than for plot reasons, and JoJo Siwa shows up.

Episode Grade: D-, I sense a trend here, Nickelodeon. Especially since I really like Make it Pop! and was expecting a solid episode and instead I got...whatever the fuck this sorry paint-by-vague-symbols-because-we-haven't-learned-numbers-yet excuse of whatever is. The weakest episode of Make it Pop! so far, by far, and really they shouldn't have bothered in the first place.
Episode MVP: Hannah Vande...vanderpaulblarrt...something. The poor girl who gets to be in the episode just to have the episode shit on her.

School of Rock S1 recap

Yeah, this show sucks. Season 1 was...just...so...goddamn...stupid. Random motivations and hijinks that makes Austin & Ally S2/3 look like friggin' Drake & Josh, an apparent air of writing quality that can best be described as "loosely lucid day thoughts" and characters defined solely by having a major case of Designated Hero Syndrome. S2 showed some promise with the episode with Daya in it but then the Halloween special came and...no, no, fuck this shit. You guys wanna work so hard to save Girl Meets World? Here's a better idea, start a campaign to cancel School of Rock.

Series Grade, S1: A big fat gigantic F. There you go, Nick, you broke the combo. How this thing got a second season or God Forbid even a third season is fucking beyond me. This isn't just the worst new series on Nick for the '15-16 season, it's the worst show since Bucket and Skinner. Yes, it's worse than Sam & Cat. Yes, it's worse than Game Shakers. It's worse than Marvin, Marvin. 
S1 Series MVP: Give credit where credit is due, this is a tie between Jade Pettyjohn and Brienna Yde. They have the legitimate talent to carry this piece of shit through especially in the rare times the show works (I've literally seen it only once, the aforementioned episode with Daya), too bad it still sucks even with.

Game Shakers S1 recap

Snore, moving on.

Series Grade, S1: D-. Yeah, again, there's a trend forming 
S1 Series MVP: At least this is an easy one, his name starts with "K" and ends with "Kenan! Aw, Kenan!?! Aw man, here we go!"

Bizaardvark S1 recap

Another largely mediocre series that's had some bright spots (we'll review the Halloween episode separately) but yeah, 2016-2017 is going to be the year when the KidCom just keels over and dies, it seems.

Series Grade, S1: D+. Hooray it's at least better than the new Nick shows. 
S1 Series MVP: Jake Paul, because why not. I'm tempted to name what's his name, the Bernie Shotz kid.

...I think that pretty much covers it. We'l look at Legends of the Hidden Temple, Albert, and select episodes of Girl Meets World (mostly the ones Mike was already nice enough to cover) in their own reviews.

1 comment:

  1. I've commented on Bizardvark elsewhere, so i can only comment on School of Rock but I'v only seen the Halloween episode. It was actually kind of decent, but not really ue to the characters or anything. Something tells me i would like like it too much, but it at least as two good actors, and it looks waaaay better than Game Shakers at least.

    Why does this show get a Season 3. No one seems to really like it, even Game Shakers has more fans.


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