Friday, December 16, 2016

Mike's Quest, Part 2 ("Cali Christmas-A-Rooney")

It's the same show, but it's in California! And we'll keep reminding you that it is until your ears bleed! In the citayyyyyyyyyy of L.A................

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. This is part two of Mike's Quest. I'm like that guy......that Spanish guy who fought the windmills. I don't know, Don Quixote or something. Anyway, I made a goal to review one episode of every current live-action sitcom on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel by the end of 2016. Some shows will be alright, and some shows will be terrible. But maybe, just maybe, one show will be good at least. My hopes aren't high, but I'm sticking to my promise. Hopefully, I have no idea if I can do this in time at this point. Just a few things to clarify:

1. Shows that I have already reviewed (Henry Danger, Girl Meets World) are off the table.

2. Despite Bella and the Bulldogs ending in June, I decided to make this one exception and review it anyway. It deserves the attention.

Part 1: The Thundermans

Okay, let's do this. 

I really know how a lot of reviewers feel now when they have work that can't get done. I promised to do a lot of reviews this month since it's Christmas and I wanted to get in the spirit with a bunch of holiday stuff, good and bad. But the week I said that, I came down with a bad toothache and nearly lost my ability to do anything productive. That has to be the worst pain I have ever experienced in my entire life. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. I just recently had an extraction to get rid of a baby tooth that suffered from dead nerves. Plus, I have some other dental work to get done but at least now, I'm on the first step to having the teeth I always wanted. It might take a while, but I'm ready to do what I have to do to get my health in order.

Anyway, what I went through set me back for a while and the only thing I really did was work on my show. Even that's taking longer than I anticipated, so in the meantime, it's time to make up for all those lost days. And what better way to start than with killing two birds with one stone: Continue the Quest, and review a Christmas episode.

That brings me to today's topic: Liv & Maddie. No, you're not reading this wrong. This is definitely a Mike review of Liv & Maddie. This is something that has been way overdue. At this point, I shouldn't even need to review this show but.....things happen. Besides, in less than a year, the show is going to end so why not do it now? I came into this show with fresh eyes because I have never watched an episode before this one. Yes, I know a majority of the characters and have a general idea of what the show is about. I also have seen my fair share of commercials. But before today, I had never seen an entire episode. As in, more than two minutes. And from what I gathered over the past year or so, this is apparently Disney Channel's best show. Apparently. So what did I think about this one?

Well, before we get into that, why don't I start us off with the plot? Maddie is homesick because this is the family's first Christmas in California, and it's absolutely nothing like the ones she experienced in Wisconsin. So Liv decides to put together a Wisconsin-style Christmas for her. Meanwhile, Joey takes part in a Santa contest to get the opportunity to hand out gifts to children, and Parker decides to give Ruby her very first snow day.

Honestly, this was a really good episode. At first, I wasn't impressed. The first act moved really slowly and there weren't a whole lot of jokes, just stuff happening. In my head, I was asking myself, "This is the best.....of the best....of the best, of the best, of the best.......that this network has to offer?" But when the Santa contest started, that's when everything kicked into high gear. The episode started firing off some more funny jokes, the plot started moving quicker, and I was entertained the rest of the way. There really weren't any dull moments after that. I know Unknown is a Liv & Maddie fan (and hopes that season four of Girl Meets World never happens) so maybe he can give some insight as to how stories work on this show. Do most episodes have this slow pace, or do they often come out with energy?

I wasn't really impressed with Liv or Maddie too much here. I'm not sure if it's because they need someone to play off of other than each other (which is why Liv's scenes with Diggie were pretty funny) or because they just didn't have much material to work with here. Neither of them stood out much. I will give it up to Dove Cameron for convincing me that Liv and Maddie are played by twins. The way she's able to create two characters with distinct personalities and have them work without coming off as tacky is not easy to pull off in the slightest. But she's doing a real good job separating them from each other. Of course, writing plays a big part in that, but with a show like this, the acting can make or break something like that. Fortunately, Dove makes the characters who they are.

It was Joey who really stole the show for me. I'm not sure who the most popular character is on this show, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was him. He got a lot of good lines and even though he has that nerdy character, it feels like he embraces it and takes comfort in who he is. One of my favorite parts in the episode is near the end when he believes that he's saved Christmas for everyone, and Liv replies by saying he almost ruined everything. His response? "Exactly. Almost." I was really expecting this episode to be uninteresting, but the second and third acts really pulled their weight and made it worth watching. I don't dislike any of the characters (at least not yet) and I felt like the plot was a simple way. It was really easy to follow. I don't know if it's because these stories are hard to do or because the writing of Girl Meets World makes it really complicated, but it's refreshing to watch an episode where I didn't even have to think about that.

You know what? I think it is Girl Meets World. The fact that I would dread GMW tackling this story and I literally didn't think about how this plot would turn out says it all. I wouldn't mind watching more L&M episodes, especially the really good ones that gave the show its identity. I heard season one was garbage, but I'm curious to know how good this show really is. Too bad this is the last season, but at least it had a good run.

Episode Grade: B
Episode MVP: Joey Bragg. Enough said. Parker wasn't bad either, but Joey ran away with this one.

-Okay, I have to ask........why the California thing? I mean, I know why they're in California after doing some research, but why do you have to promote it? Why do you think new viewers will be interested in the show because it's based in California? Is the style of the show different now in terms of storytelling and characterization? Are the jokes more in your face instead of subtle like before, or vice versa? I'm curious, I want to figure this out. Cali-style? Really? I don't know, it comes off as real corny to me. Besides, we all know what happened to the last Disney Channel show that constantly reminded you it was in California. I think the Jonas Brothers were in it, something like that.

-Joey's logic makes perfect sense: He loves handing out toys to kids, because then they're forced to like you.

-I like the theme song. It has a nice tone to it and Dove Cameron is a really good singer. I can see why she was hired now.

-The cutaways that this show uses are nice too. It helps give it a distinct identity away from other shows on the network. I mean, if you're going to have a show, you might as well have that one thing to separate it from others like it.

-In this episode alone, they make three jokes about Parker and Joey destroying the house last season. I didn't laugh at any of them. In fact, the first joke was what led me to do more research in the first place. Is this a running gag? Because this is the sixth episode of the season, and I'm not going to watch the previous five and see these characters constantly remind us of what happened. Makes me feel like I'm watching Fuller House or something.

-I was kinda surprised when I saw Diggie because he's apparently an idiot, and considering Maddie's personality, I would think he was smarter or had some kind of special skill. I don't know, this is the only episode I've ever seen. His scenes with Liv were pretty funny like I mentioned before. Like when he told Liv he wasn't going to say "Surprise!" despite his instinct and the awkwardness of that conversation in general. Or when he was in the box and Liv told him not to move ("I can't move, I'm in a box!").

-It was hilarious when Joey was in the Santa contest and you saw this old guy who barely even tried to give it a shot. Just when it seemed like it was a lock for Joey to win, here comes his enemy Todd Stetson doing the sexy Santa look and pulling it off because everyone was enjoying his shirtless dancing. That sounded wrong, just watch the episode.

-Joey says that he wants to show everyone what Christmas is all about. So, with no irony or awareness of the situation, he steals everything Christmas-related from his own house, including Diggie. The part where he is humming "Deck the Halls" while trying to get the Christmas tree out of the house, then his joyful humming turning into annoyed grunting as he struggles to get the tree through the door, was absolutely hilarious and my favorite part of the episode. Then he continues to hum it while Diggie is on the phone with Liv, scared and confused.

-Parker sounds a lot older than he looks. What did puberty do to him? The weird thing is he doesn't look any different from how he did in season one.

-"Why did you do this for me in the mall?" "That was Joey's fault." "Ugh, he is the worst." *Liv nods in approval* The best part is that Maddie didn't know Joey was Santa. But part of me feels like she would have said that anyway.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

A Look Back: Actor MVP Tally

Well, it's the end of the year, and the one year anniversary/100th post of this blog was back in September where I vaguely promised we'd run down some stats through this blog but said I'd prefer to do it at the end of the year - and, um, here we are. So let's run down some stats!

I've given more thought to what I said in the last post - about ripping off Christian and Sean over at Girl Meets World Reviewed (but hey, that's what we do literally every day) and doing a best character rundown, except in our case it would be from all over the history of Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, and I wouldn't be adversed to venturing a little outside as long as it's aimed at a similar demo (like, we don't need to run down the entire history of Cartoon Network all the way to Master Shake - whom, let's face it, would be #1 for the entire character battle anyway). But I think we need another twist - and really open it up to the readers - that's you (all five of you) to help us pick and choose and run through the rankings here. I think I'll also reserve the rights for Mike and myself to do some arbitrary rearranging (which should be easy because, again, there's only like five of you) but at least I don't foresee why we should deviate from the reader-generated list or suggestions too much.

And speaking of doing a character rundown, let's run down some Episode/Series MVP stats! This should be, umm...interesting to say the least since we're not above awarding MVP status to inanimate objects, actors who didn't even appear in the episode or to the audience at large for tolerating some pretty awful shit. My stats will be in Red and Mike's stats will be in Green, but I'll be compiling the raw data. Of course, Mike will be chiming in with his thoughts as well (hopefully). Series MVP will be counted separately from individual episode MVP awards. Since we'll hopefully have some more reviews up before the end of the year, we'll also go back and update this list accordingly.

Also I sure as hell hope this formatting works.


Actor                             # of MVP awards               Series

Randy J. Goodman                 1                              Best Friends Whenever (S1E5)
G. Hannelius                           2                              Dog With a Blog (S3E24; Series MVP)
Meagan Good's                       1                             Minority Report (S1E1; tied with
Redclouds Shirt                                                      Unknown)
Debby Ryan                            5                              Jessie (S1E1; S1E25, tied with
                                                                              Karan Brar and Skai Jackson; Series MVP;
                                                                              S4E20, Nickelodeon's Ho-Ho-Holidays
Atticus Mitchell                       1                               My Babysitter's a Vampire: The Movie
Chris Gayla                            1                                Jessie (S4E17)
Ben Savage                           1                                Girl Meets World (Girl Meets Cory
                                                                                 and Topanga; tied with Danielle Fischel)
Danielle Fischel                     1                                 Girl Meets World (See above; tied with
                                                                                   Ben Savage)
"The actors playing the              1                            Henry Danger (S2E4)
board members, and also
the actors playing the little
kids on the basketball team"
Benjamin Flores                         1                            Game Shakers (S1E5)
Landry Bender                         1                              BFW (S1E9; tied with Rowan Blanchard)
Rowan Blanchard                  3                                BFW (S1E9; tied with Landry Bender); 
                                                                                GMW (Meets Texas II, tied with Sabrina
                                                                                Carpenter; Meets Jexica, tied with Rider
                                                                                Strong** and Shiloh Strong**)

Piper Curda                            3                               I Didn't Do It (S2E18; series MVP); Austin
                                                                                 & Ally (S4E15*)
Veronica Dunne                    1                                 K.C. Undercover (S1E23; tied with                                                                                            Zendaya)
Zendaya                                1                                 K.C. Undercover (see above; tied with
                                                                                 Veronica Dunne)
Karan Brar                             2                                Invisible Sister DCOM; Jessie (S1E25,
                                                                                tied with Debby Ryan and Skai Jackson)
Cameron Boyce                    1                                Jessie (S4E19)
Sabrina Carpenter                4                                GMW (Meets Texas II, tied with Rowan
                                                                               Blanchard; Meets Texas III; Meets STEM;
                                                                               Series MVP)
Jay Leno                               1                               Last Man Standing (S5E5, yes he actually
                                                                               did appear in this episode)
Ken Jeong                            2                               Dr. Ken (S1E4; Series MVP)
Lucas Adams                       1                                Liv and Maddie (S3E5, tied with...the
                                                                              cowbell gif from SNL? Wow I really do
                                                                              hand these things out freely. Well, what-
                                                                              ever I guess....)
The Cowbell Gif from            1                               Liv and Maddie (S3E5, tied with Lucas
SNL                                                                        Adams)
Audrey Whitby                       1                              LaM (S3E6)
Peyton List                             2                             Bunk'd (S1E5, tied with...worms and
                                                                               Random Samosa? Ok this is much
                                                                               even for me), The Swap DCOM
worms used for bait               1                              Bunk'd (S1E5, tied with Random Samosa
                                                                              and Peyton List)
Random Samosa                   1                              Bunk'd (S1E5, tied with worms and Peyton
                                                                              List - and keep in mind this isn't some
                                                                              actor's name this is literally a samosa)
Maya Le Clark                       1                             Nickelodeon Ho-Ho-Holidays Special
                                                                             (tied with Dove Cameron*, Sofia Carson*,
                                                                              Demi Lovato*, Debby Ryan*)
Dove Cameron                      2                             Nickelodeon's Ho-Ho-Holidays Special*                                                                                   (tied with Maya Le Clark, Sofia Carson*,
                                                                             Demi Lovato*, Debby Ryan*), Liv and
                                                                            Maddie (S4E2, tied with Tenzig Norgay
Sofia Carson                          2                            Nickelodeon's Ho-Ho-Holidays Special*
                                                                            (tied with Maya Le Clark, Dove Cameron*,
                                                                            Demi Lovato*, Debby Ryan*), Adventures
                                                                            in Babysitting DCOM
Demi Lovato                           1                           Nickelodeon's Ho-Ho-Holidays Special*
                                                                            (tied with Maya Le Clark, Dove Cameron*,
                                                                            Sofia Carson*, Debby Ryan*)
Raini Rodriguez                       2                         Austin & Ally (S4E19; Series MVP, tied with
                                                                           Laura Marano, Calum Worthy and Ross
Laura Marano                         2                          Austin & Ally (S4E20; Series MVP, tied with
                                                                           Raini Rodriguez, Calum Worthy and Ross
Calum Worthy                        1                          Austin & Ally (Series MVP, tied with Laura
                                                                          Marano, Raini Rodriguez and Ross Lynch)
Ross Lynch                            1                          Austin & Ally (Series MVP, tied with Laura
                                                                          Marano, Raini Rodriguez and Calum Worthy)
Corey Fogelmanis                  1                          GMW (Meets Money)
Kayla Morrisonet                    1                        Stuck in the Middle (S1E1)
Alex Hirsh & Crew                  1                        Gravity Falls (Series MVP)
"The two little kids                   1                         GMW (Meets the Bay Window)
who played little kid
Riley and Maya,
and also the two adults
who played adult Riley
and Maya"
Kelli Berglund                        1                         Lab Rats Elite Force (S1E1)
Sarah Carpenter                    1                        GMW (Meets Legacy)
"Mike from CAR*BROS"         1                        The Mysteries of Laura (S2E15*)
"Roman from Regular Car       1                       The Mysteries of Laura (S2E16*)
Unknown (yes as in me, the      2                     Minority Report (S1E1*, tied with
guy writing this)                                                Meagan Good's Redclouds shirt); 
                                                                         Undateable (S3E13*, tied with the
                                                                        entire audience as a whole)
The entire audience as a          2                     Undateable (S3E13*, tied with Unknown),
whole                                                               Crowded (S1E1/2*, tied with Francesca 
                                                                         Capaldi* and John Oliver*)
Francesca Capaldi                    1                    Crowded (S1E1/2*, tied with John Oliver*
                                                                        and the entire audience as a whole*)
John Oliver                                1                    Crowded (S1E1/2*, tied with Francesca
                                                                        Capaldi* and the entire audience as a whole*)
John Stamos                              1                   Grandfathered (S1E15)
Juliette Angelo                           1                   Criminal Minds Beyond Borders (S1E9, tied
                                                                        with Jenna C. Johnson and Troian Bellisario*)
Jenna C. Johnson                      1                  Criminal Minds Beyond Borders (S1E9, tied
                                                                        with Juliette Angelo and Troian Bellisario*)
Troian Bellisario                         1                   Criminal Minds Beyond Borders (S1E9*, tied
                                                                        with Juliette Angelo and Jenna C. Johnson)
Ariana Grande                            1                  Radio Disney Music Awards 2016
"The two girls thought-               1                  GMW (Meets High School Part 1)
lessly door-slammed
by Riley and Maya"
Peyton Meyer                             1                  GMW (Meets High School Part 2, tied with
                                                                       Amir Toombs)
Amir Toombs                               1                 GMW (Meets High School Part 2, tied with
                                                                       Peyton Meyer)
Rider Strong                                1                 GMW (Meets Jexica**, tied with Rowan 
                                                                       Blanchard and Shiloh Strong**)
Shiloh Strong                               1                GMW (Meets Jexica***, tied with Rowan
                                                                       Blanchard and Rider Strong**)
"The pretty-ish stunt                     1                Danger and Thunder crossover special
lady whose entire career
is probably light stuntwork
in kidcoms at this point"
William Daniels                             1               GMW (Meets Gravity)
Tenzig Norgay Trainor                  2               LaM (S4E1; S4E2, tied with Dove Cameron)
Sandrine Holt                                1              MacGyver '16 (S1E1)
Kimberly Woods                            1               Barbie: Star Light Adventure Movie (tied with
                                                                       Ben Bledsoe)
Ben Bledsoe                                 1              Barbie: Star Light Adventure Movie (tied with
                                                                     Kimberly Woods
Megan Schull                                1             The Swap (author of original book)
"a really nice redhead                  1              Lost in the West Part 1
the camera panned over
Fallon Smythe                               1             Lost in the West Part 2
Hannah Vandenbygaart                1             Make it Pop! Summer Splash Special
Jade Pettyjohn                              1             School of Rock (Series MVP, tied with Breanna
Breanna Yde                                 1            School of Rock (Series MVP, tied with Jade
Kel Mitchell                                    1           Game Shakers (Series MVP)
Jake Paul                                       1          Bizaardvark (Series MVP)

* actor did not actually appear in this episode but got Episode MVP anyway because why not
** director/production crew member only for that episode/series

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Massive Review Compilation and Catch-up of things I (Unknown) missed!

So yeah, like I mentioned in the last review post (which, as of when I'm writing this, was like five minutes ago) I'm going to just plop a whole bunch of stuff down in here that I've missed throughout the year so far for various reasons. I'll try to make it relatively comprehensive but if there's something I missed, let me know! Format will still be the same as always - opening quote, review body, Episode Grade, Episode MVP, but the review body will be condensed into a paragraph-ish thing and merged with Extra Thoughts. 

UPDATE: I just went by Girl Meets World Reviewed and saw their Best Character what say you guys? Think we should rip them off and do a best character feature too? We'll probably do all-around Nick/Disney Channel as opposed to specific shows, and leave a comment telling us if we should bother and who you want to see on our list.

So let's get started with whatever happens to pop into my mind first:

Lost in the West

Insert some stupid idiotic "Hoof Hearted" joke in here, which is one of the few things I remember about this pathetic excuse for whatever it is.

Yeah, seriously, wtf? I'm pretty sure I could write a better script as I'm sitting here at Starbucks. I'm really not sure what the thought process going into this is but for one of the very few specials Nick has done that's bothered to be over an hour, this wasn't just a misfire, this was outright piss-awful down to the juvenile-even-for-Nickelodeon-especially-in-2016 jokes.

Episode Grade: D-, into the trash it goes.
Episode MVP: Part 1 - there was like a really nice redhead the camera panned over towards the beginning of the "Old West" part; Part 2 - Fallon Smythe I guess? Part 3 - yeah ain't happenin'.

Make it Pop! Summer Special Yeah Whatever

I don't remember enough to bring up a quote, yeah maybe this is a bad idea, not like this sorry excuse for a "summer special whatever" deserves one

So there's this super-uptight girl (and I do mean girl, she's like 17) running this resort her parents own or something, and she's the designated bad guy because uptight, and there's zero motivation going around other than for plot reasons, and JoJo Siwa shows up.

Episode Grade: D-, I sense a trend here, Nickelodeon. Especially since I really like Make it Pop! and was expecting a solid episode and instead I got...whatever the fuck this sorry paint-by-vague-symbols-because-we-haven't-learned-numbers-yet excuse of whatever is. The weakest episode of Make it Pop! so far, by far, and really they shouldn't have bothered in the first place.
Episode MVP: Hannah Vande...vanderpaulblarrt...something. The poor girl who gets to be in the episode just to have the episode shit on her.

School of Rock S1 recap

Yeah, this show sucks. Season 1 Random motivations and hijinks that makes Austin & Ally S2/3 look like friggin' Drake & Josh, an apparent air of writing quality that can best be described as "loosely lucid day thoughts" and characters defined solely by having a major case of Designated Hero Syndrome. S2 showed some promise with the episode with Daya in it but then the Halloween special came, no, fuck this shit. You guys wanna work so hard to save Girl Meets World? Here's a better idea, start a campaign to cancel School of Rock.

Series Grade, S1: A big fat gigantic F. There you go, Nick, you broke the combo. How this thing got a second season or God Forbid even a third season is fucking beyond me. This isn't just the worst new series on Nick for the '15-16 season, it's the worst show since Bucket and Skinner. Yes, it's worse than Sam & Cat. Yes, it's worse than Game Shakers. It's worse than Marvin, Marvin. 
S1 Series MVP: Give credit where credit is due, this is a tie between Jade Pettyjohn and Brienna Yde. They have the legitimate talent to carry this piece of shit through especially in the rare times the show works (I've literally seen it only once, the aforementioned episode with Daya), too bad it still sucks even with.

Game Shakers S1 recap

Snore, moving on.

Series Grade, S1: D-. Yeah, again, there's a trend forming 
S1 Series MVP: At least this is an easy one, his name starts with "K" and ends with "Kenan! Aw, Kenan!?! Aw man, here we go!"

Bizaardvark S1 recap

Another largely mediocre series that's had some bright spots (we'll review the Halloween episode separately) but yeah, 2016-2017 is going to be the year when the KidCom just keels over and dies, it seems.

Series Grade, S1: D+. Hooray it's at least better than the new Nick shows. 
S1 Series MVP: Jake Paul, because why not. I'm tempted to name what's his name, the Bernie Shotz kid.

...I think that pretty much covers it. We'l look at Legends of the Hidden Temple, Albert, and select episodes of Girl Meets World (mostly the ones Mike was already nice enough to cover) in their own reviews.

Liv and Maddie Reviewed: Linda and Heather-a-Rooney (S4E1)

Kiss kiss! Miss miss!

What is it? Half-hour multi-cam sitcom...inside a half-hour multi-cam sitcom. Wow Sonny With a Chance flashback!
Where did it air? You'll have to check local listings for your next airing of Linda & Heather. Also, Disney Channel.
Who stars in it? Well Linda and Heather obviously. Also special guest stars Dove Cameron, Joey Bragg, Tenzig Norgay-Trainor, Kali Rocha and Jessica Marie Garcia. Some people might say Shelby Wulfert and Emily Buckner but they obviously just can't seem to read "Linda and Heather" for some reason.
Why are we reviewing this?

Because Linda and Heather now, and Linda and Heather FOREVER! 
Image from the Liv and Maddie fan wikia, BTW.

So I heard that a lot of people are bitchin' and moanin' about S4 of Liv and Maddie so far and I have to say...I'm like, whuuuaaaa? 

Seriously guys, I know I'm one to talk since sometimes I feel like the best thing Girl Meets World can do to immediately improve its quality is to immediately end its existence (and sometimes I make it known on this very blog in my infamous semi-lucid moments) but you do realize it's still the same show, right? So ok, let's look at Ruby. *Looks at Ruby* yup, she's a typical pre-teen girl all right. So people have problems with her but I seriously don't know what. She seems fine to me, in fact I think she actually has a decent amount to contribute to the show, especially since as the show went on longer Liv and Maddie started sharing less and less screentime together (I guess that split-screen technique is more taxing then they anticipated). And at least for her age she's not a bad actress (in fact come to think of it, a lot of people feel the same about Parker, and screw you Parker's like one of my favorite characters!) As for the California It really doesn't feel like it's making much of a difference either way.

But onwards to the actual episode. The last time we reviewed Liv and Maddie: Cali Style!, it was...oh, crap, all the way back in September. Um, ooops. In that review I talked about my love for Kathy Kan-a-Rooney, the episode that first introduced Linda and Heather, and shared the broad outline for a fanscript I had submitted to Ron and John (thanks SPARF-a-Rooney for giving us that obvious-yet-I-still-didn't-catch-it ship name!) about Parker and Joey meeting Linda and Heather in person (recap: in my script, Parker and Joey would be trying to bring a broken-up Linda and Heather duo, played by Bridgit Mendler and Debby Ryan, back together - while the A-plot was Kathy Kan [Piper Curda] and Fangs [Laura Marano] joining Liv for a day at Ridgewood High. Yeah it was a pretty star-studded script as far as Disney Channel's concerned). Obviously it didn't take, but I'm still very satisfied with what we got.

How Linda and Heather get involved with the actual episode regards Liv's agent getting her a gig directly on Linda and Heather in an attempt to reboot Liv's career after the sudden "I quit" fiasco with Voltage. Immediately cue Parker being interested (he in fact leaps over the entire kitchen begging Liv to take the spot). It's, uh, pretty straightforward from there.

Meanwhile Maddie is all butthurt about Ruby getting a participation trophy in basketball and wants to teach her a lesson about losing so, yeah, naturally Ruby utterly owns Maddie at everything they try to do together. It's actually a nice parallel and light callback to Kathy Kan-a-Rooney since the B-plot of that one was about Maddie being hyper-competitive against Joey after Joey accidentally won a game of H-O-R-S-E to the point where she has to trick victory back from him. So, yeah, spoiler alert Maddie pretty much does the exact same thing to Ruby, but at least not before, again, utter ownage.

And then we get to the C-plot...which revolves around Joey and Willow breaking up over yeah one of those misunderstandings that they do in these types of multi-cam sitcoms all the time. You know, remember in Austin & Ally when Dez and Carrie broke up because they didn't understand they were talking about the dinner and not the date? Yeah. Well Ron and John pulled that off too, and with two characters who are needless to say way more intelligent than Dez or Carrie. But then they realize that their relationship got in a rut (what doesn't help is Joey recreating their very first date over and over again, the munch) and that maybe its best if they give each other some breathing room for a while. Yeah, I think Ron and John may be backtracking here (or maybe they weren't solidly sold on the possibility of S4 when they wrote that episode).

Liv's guest starring role, and the future of Linda and Heather, is put in jeopardy when the title stars threaten to quit after a row, so Liv's agent ropes in Parker (of course he's all too happy to) and put together a fake show to trick Linda and Heather coming back together. Yeah, duh, it works, and it impresses the network heads so much it scores Liv a reprise as Stephanie Einstein on Sing it LOUuuuuuDdeeeeeRRRRReeeerrrRRRRRREeeeRRRRRRRRRRRR-ah!!!!!!!!!!one

For me, it's a pretty basic Liv and Maddie episode, but as a huge fan I can't exactly complain. After all, I'm a fan for a reason - it's a pretty solid overall callback to events referred to in previous episodes, from the title guest characters to Maddie's way-overhyper-competitiveness to events way late in S3. And, hey, it was entertaining which is really all you need from a show like this (screw everybody wanting Girl Meets World to be a combination of DeGrassi-lite with half the taste and all the filler combined with a Reagan-era after school special). 

Episode Grade: A-, though that might be a lot of fan bias showing through. Maybe realistically a B? But whatever, my blog, my grade, so it's an A-. 
Episode MVP:  You get only one guess, but I'll give you a hint: Her name starts with "D" and ends with "Chloe Hosterman." Also, Tenzig Norgay Trainor because Spongey convinced me so, and he needs more MVP love.

Final Thoughts:

 - Yeah, you'll have to Google "Chloe Hosterman," just don't Google it too hard. You'll see what I mean.

 - In the actual version of Linda and Heather-a-Rooney, Linda and Heather are played by Emily Bruckner and Sherri Wertfing or something like that. I probably got both those names mixed around. They may not be Bridgit or Debby but they make a lot of sense since they've always provided the voices for Linda and Heather ever since Day 1 when Kathy Kan-a-Rooney first aired. You might vaguely recognize the names despite the mangling because they're also Chloe Dove's bodydoubles during shots requiring both Liv and Maddie on-screen.

 - It took a lot of effort to not just make the entire Linda and Heather theme song the opening quote.

 - so it's here instead!

Pink pink pink!
Girls girls girls!
Glitter glitter glitter!
Twirls twirls twirls!
Together! Forever!
Its Linda! And Heather!
Best friends!

 - and yes, that was entirely recalled from memory, although it's not exactly a hard theme song to memorize and recall.

 - So yeah, we've had a bit of a schedule slip. I'm not really keen on making a dedicated blog post just to it, so it goes in here: like Mike said, holidays. But wait, the last post your lazy ass made was all the way back in September and October! Um...Halloween is a holiday too.

- Seriously though, I've been doing a lot of prep for a major career change. It might mean less time to might mean more time to blog. Hopefully around the new year and January and February I'll have time to actually, you know, blog.

 - And with that you'll get one big-ass compilation post where I try to catch up on a lot of things.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

What's Going On, Mike?

The quest must go on.......but not now.

Hey everyone. If you're reading this, you're probably wondering why I stopped doing Mike's Quest after one episode. Well, the answer to that is simple: My procrastination took over. Now I could do some more episodes of these shows by the end of 2016, but December starts this week. And you know what that means.

It means the holidays are coming up. And of course, what better way to celebrate this time of year than by reviewing Christmas episodes? I feel like I failed last year because all I reviewed was Ho Ho Holidays, something so traumatic and ridiculous it made me question why I even bother reviewing anything outside of Girl Meets World (which I already stopped reviewing episode by episode due to having my intelligence insulted) and The Thundermans, which is really only good for special episodes because that's when they pull out all the stops and give me a lot of material to work with. So this coming month, I'm going to be knee deep in Christmas reviews. Since this is a blog where you can exercise your creative rights, I will be reviewing other episodes that aren't a part of Nickelodeon or Disney. But they have to stand out, not just be average, but either really good or really bad. Like the Simpsons episode where Bart is caught shoplifting. If I can find something as bad as Henry Danger's Christmas episode, I'll do that too. I'm pulling out all the stops this month.

As for the Quest, I'm not abandoning that. I still want to review one episode of every Nick/Disney live-action sitcom that's currently on right now. But since December is right around the corner, I don't want to kill myself. By the end of the week, to cap off November, I hope to complete reviews of Game Shakers and School of Rock. I just want to get those two out of the way before working extra hard in December. Then in January, I'll complete the Quest. Hopefully. I already failed to deliver on one promise, but I want to step it up as a reviewer and give you a lot more of my thoughts next month to make up for it.

Yeah, so by the end of the week, Game Shakers and School of Rock. Keep banging. :)

-You guys hear about that Hannah Montana marathon coming up? That should really pull in some ratings. I'm not joking. I don't doubt people talking about it on the first night and Disney Channel getting a big ratings spike. You have to remember that Hannah Montana came during a time when it was really easy to get high ratings on cable. When Nickelodeon had iCarly, Disney had that to counter it. I don't even hate the show like a lot of other people do. In fact, growing up, I liked it and it's only been off for a couple years so how badly could it have aged? I'm going to feel like I just saw every episode yesterday, even the ones I haven't seen in a really long time. So for all the people who love to criticize the show, let me ask you this: Is kids live-action seriously better off now than before?

-This weekend is the Legends of the Hidden Temple movie. I don't really get the purpose of adapting a movie from a game show but I guess the show had more material to work with than I thought. I'm just glad Nickelodeon is still giving Isabela Moner jobs.

-As far as I know, Disney Channel has yet to renew Girl Meets World for a fourth season. I'm not really all that shaken up by it. In this day and age, a lot of shows get renewed very quickly. Shows like Star vs. The Forces of Evil and Legends of Chamberlain Heights were renewed for a second season before the first episode even aired. However, with Disney Channel and Girl Meets World, it's the complete opposite. Something tells me that Disney was unhappy with the ratings from season two and was really hesitant about renewing the show. Season three wasn't confirmed for several months. Besides, it seems like the actors have already started packing it in. While I'm not happy about the show being treated like this, it's pretty obvious that it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been and didn't get the ratings Disney was hoping for. Expectations were high, and after watching several more Boy Meets World episodes for the first time, it was clear that GMW was never going to surpass it. It could have been a great successor, but in the end it was just okay. Interesting fact, Fuller House is a monster hit on Netflix so far. That nostalgia train just keeps chugging along.

-Keeping that in mind, I don't really know how this That's So Raven reboot is going to turn out. I didn't grow up with Boy Meets World so I was more willing to give GMW a chance. But That's So Raven was a classic Disney Channel show and I don't know how they're going to handle the reboot. Especially in today's era where there's no show bringing in the ratings and good reviews like that. I guess only time will tell.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

So let's come up with a bunch of episodes for Mike to watch (an evolving document/post)

Ok so Mike wants a list of episodes to watch for review of different Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows. Not only that but he wants at least one episode for every such show. So let's go ahead and come up with that list!

Because I frequently forget that certain shows even exist I'll be coming back and adding those. Let's start with the ones I actually know off the top of my head!

I'm also going to assume Mike wants some actual good episodes to watch so I'll be strictly featuring those, with some exceptions that will be indicated with notes:


I suggested to Christian and Sean that they should check out Green-Eyed Monsters and that turned out to be kind of a mistake.... So instead I'll recommend Mike check out Tempest in a Teacup instead. I think that one for the most part avoids all the stuff Christian and Sean didn't like in the previous episode.Also, probably a good idea to avoid the final season entirely.

Good Luck Charlie

Futuredrama seems to be one people like a lot, although I think that has less to do with the actual episode and more to do with the fact that future Charlie is played by none other than Heather Locklear's daughter, but hey, there's nothing wrong with the episode itself. I also really liked Up a Tree (which also seems to be regarded as a classic) and Teddy's Lonely Hearts Club.

ANT Farm

influANTces (yes that's how the episode is actually spelled) is probably hands-down the best of the series, although I'm partial to endurANTs for some weird reason. And as with Jessie it's probably best just avoid the final season entirely.

Wizards of Waverly Place

Eh, re-watching the show in rerun form, it's not as good as I remember. It's easier to come up with a list of episodes to avoid, although even the worst episodes aren't that bad either. Definitely something in Season 3 to get the full 720p benefit, but not Season 4 where everything went into that senior slump. Maybe Alex Russo, Matchmaker? (No, I'm not posing a question...well, I guess I am, but the question mark is also part of the actual episode title - yeah WoWP episode titles get wonky probably because for the most part they just didn't give a damn when coming up with them) Or if you have to go with a Season 4 episode I guess the whole Wizards vs. Angels arch (you'll get to see a pre-ANT Farm China Ann McClain in that one!)

Suite Life on Deck

International Date Line is by far the funniest, Party On! is an awful piece of shit that makes me want to punch people in the face and represents exactly why sometimes people actively hate this network. If you want to go with something in "glorious" 720p format Senior Ditch Day is probably going to be the best.


The first Luke episode, or even the recent Halloween one. Avoid: pretty much the entire first season, most of the second season. It's still a pretty awful show, though I have to begrudgingly admit it's gone through the sophomore season improvement process. 


Yeah this show is a pile of meh so you might as well go with the Halloween episode since it's the funniest so far or the one with the cats because cats.

Stuck in the Middle

Eh the Rachel Platten one (Stuck in the Harley Car) because why not, or I thought Stuck in Harley's Comet was pretty good too.

Phineas and Ferb

The first Meep episode, full-stop (it's the episode that not only got me into Phineas and Ferb but the rest of Disney Channel and ultimately the existence of this very blog), or Where's Perry?

Gravity Falls

Honestly you just need to see the series in its entirety to really appreciate it, but Fight Fighters is the one that convinced me it's worth that time investment.

Shake it Up

Review-it-Up is the one with Ben Savage in it and honestly it's not that bad, and I really liked I Do-it-Up as far as episodes that come to mind, especially a decent S3 episode. The easiest episode to find, actually, might be Shake it Up, Up and Away because if you can find a copy of Geek Charming at your library it's automatically included in that disk (plus it's a two-fer-one!) I also really liked Made in Japan, which is effectively a multi-cam DCOM (it was even aired in one go).

Liv and Maddie

As long as you for the most part just avoid Season 1 you can't really go wrong (I even like Cali-style so far!) but Rate-a-Rooney is one of the few episodes of anything period to get GMW-like attention that isn't GMW, and for actual good reasons.

Best Friends Whenever

I actually like this show but it does tend to be very consistent in quality so you might as well just pick any one that isn't part of a multi-episode arc. If I had to pick a specific one I'd go with When Shelby met Cyd.

Dog with a Blog

Guess Who's Dating Karl (yeah they didn't exactly put their most creative efforts into these titles) is probably the funniest one.

Austin and Ally

I really liked Diners and Daters and Albums and Auditions but it's one of those shows where either the whole series will have appeal, or it won't. That said it kind of has the weird effect of the middle two seasons being the worst (it's like they just stopped caring and started throwing up just whatever shit they felt like).

So Random!!

Uhhhh...besides not really being into variety shows, especially kids shows, and this series just bungling up this whole concept in the first place (there's a reason why it was a One Season Wonder) yeah, you might as well pick any but I think you'd be better off just skipping this series entirely. No one will judge you for it.


Again, of the few I have seen I think they're pretty interchangeable in quality and I haven't actually seen a single episode of L.A. so again you're on your own.

That's So Raven

Probably Save the Last Dance, that was a nice one.

Cory in the House

I did see a few episodes of this but I don't really remember them that well so yeah you're on your own for this one too.

Phil of the Future

It's just a really good series I think so just feel free to take your pick.

Even Stevens

Probably A Very Scary Story, though overall I think the series is pretty good too. You can also try the DCOM, which is one of my favorites.

Kim Possible

It might be a little hard to follow if you don't know all the characters and ins and outs since it tends to be very self-referential, but if you want to be really adventurous you can try the Sitch in Time arc (it's really a DCOM in all but name) or the actual DCOM, So The Drama. The Christmas one is also fondly remembered too, if only for The Six Tasks of Snowman Hank.

The Proud Family

The best episode I've seen, actually, is the DCOM.

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

The reason why this is so far down the list is because it took me a while to think of one that I think would really appeal to a first-timer, but then I gave up and I'm just going to say Wish Gone Amiss (is that the episode title?)

Lizzie McGuire

I honestly find this series terminally boring to the point where it tends to literally put me to sleep, but I liked Magic Train (or at least the concept behind it)

The Thundermans

Mike seems to already have this covered as it is, but for the sake of other readers I really did like A Hero is Born.

School of Rock

I still think this show is awful, just not quite as awful, but I did somehow manage to like I Put a Spell on You (and it does have Daya in it). Pretty much avoid the entire first season at all costs as its pretty uniform garbage, yes including the Kira Kosarin one, in fact it's one of the worst of all.

Bella and the Bulldogs

I actually thought what turned out to be the series finale was the best.

Henry Danger

I mention an episode in one of the reviews so I need to go look up what it is.

Game Shakers

...I just can't stand this show and really I think you're better off avoiding it entirely so, no deal.

VicTORious I nuts for really liking Wanko's Warehouse? Really, this and Drake and Josh is going to be Peak Schneider, yes even with iCarly. Speaking of which...


iKiss Freddie, no really.

I have to get back to questing this month. I'm still sticking to Game Shakers and School of Rock being the next two shows.

Also, thank you for the work you put into this post, Unknown. Of course, to keep myself from going completely insane, I'm only tackling shows that are currently making new episodes. I have no relationship with Disney XD at all so, um......that's something that might have to wait. To make sure your work doesn't go to waste, I guess I'll give my thoughts on each show listed here.

Jessie: I might just check out the episodes Unknown suggested to save time. I was never a big fan of this show, but it was a lot better when the kids were younger. After Luke went through puberty and they tried ignoring the fact that Ravi's accent no longer worked, it fell off......hard. The series finale pretty much was a reflection of what the show turned into, while also reminding me of what it used to be. Also, I can't be the only one thinking this, but Bertram looks like Uncle Phil and somewhat acts like Geoffrey. Don't tell me you never thought about it.

Good Luck Charlie: When I was younger, my best friend and I both had crushes on Bridgit Mendler. I got over it once she cut her hair. Anyway, I always liked this show. I remember reading that the creators wanted something more grounded and realistic than what was on kids TV at the time, and I can definitely see the attempt. It was always consistent, had some well-done comedy, and it felt like we could relate to the characters as viewers. Also, Gabe got a lot funnier as he aged, to the point where he became the most entertaining character in the last season. I'm ready to debate.

A.N.T. Farm: This show is a shining example of what happens when you change things for the sake of changing things. I don't know why they had the kids move to a new location in the last season. I don't know why they stripped away the best characters and replaced them with guys who weren't nearly as entertaining. I don't know why Fletcher became "special" in the other sense in season three. And I don't know why they had Olive and Fletcher play Sam and Freddie and start dating. Seriously, why not put Chyna and Fletcher together? No one wanted to see Olive and Fletcher get it on! Despite all that, the first two seasons were comedy gold and nobody will remember season three. Cameron was a riot all by himself, along with Chyna's father. The episode where Chyna made Cameron think he was a psychic cracks me up thinking about it, along with the one where Cameron had an imaginary girlfriend.

Wizards of Waverly Place: Okay, let's get this bandage off right now: I like the show, and I also dislike it. I liked the first two seasons when it was goofier and felt more relatable. The last two seasons felt way too melodramatic at times and you could tell that the movie had way too much of an influence on the writing at some point. It's like the writers felt the need to make every episode feel epic, when it used to be an everyday sitcom that had supernatural elements. The show went on too long, Max became way too much of an idiot (to the point where his own family was scared of the thought of him becoming family wizard), and that last episode they did a year after the finale was pointless. Max should have won the competition. I'm just saying, they could have pulled it off as a story arc if they wanted to.

Suite Life on Deck: Eh, pretty good show. The graduation episode was pretty emotional, and the characters......did their stuff. I remember the episodes after Cody and Bailey broke up being hard to watch, mostly because of how awkward their interactions were. You could tell there was no reason for them to break up at all and they just did it so they could inevitably get back together in dramatic fashion. I don't know whether or not I like this show better than the original because neither one was especially good or especially bad.

Bunk'd: Get out of here with that awful theme song. I know I'm going to hate whatever freaking episode I decide to review. If the original show was already declining, and this pointless spin-off has the exact same team working on it, then I have my work cut out for me. I'm not looking forward to talking about this show at all. The only thing I'm wondering is what snarky jokes I'll come up with.

Bizaardvark: I saw a little bit of this show weeks ago. All I remember was that it was painfully unfunny. My funny bone passed out upon absorbing whatever little bit what was on screen. I can't be sure, but I think this is Disney Channel's response to iCarly, even though nobody wanted one in the first place. I don't think this show is going to be very interesting.

Stuck in the Middle: That single-camera format really throws me off and makes me not even want to watch this show. I think it's not the format itself, just how they employ it. Like Bizaardvark, I really don't expect anything from this show at all. Hopefully, it just turns out decent and inoffensive.

Phineas and Ferb: Seriously one of the best kids cartoons I have ever seen. If early SpongeBob had a baby with early Simpsons, this would be the result. It's hilarious, it's fun, the music was always enjoyable, the characters were all charming in their own way. It was the last reminder of an old era of animation until The Loud House showed up. My only complaint is that it should have ended after the movie. That movie was pure, uncut perfection and the show never reached that height again. I'm serious. If you stop watching the show after the movie, it goes out in a blaze of glory. If you include the episodes they made after, it just ends peacefully. Either way, this was a really great show and deserves credit for thriving in an era of mediocrity.

Gravity Falls: Another bandage to rip off here. I haven't seen much of this show at all. What I have seen entertained me, and I don't doubt that it was one of the best cartoons out, but I just never had a big interest in watching it. Maybe I'll sit down and check out some more episodes one day. Also, props to Alex Hirsch for quitting while he was ahead and ending the show on a high note. Very few shows get the chance to go out on their own terms, especially when they're good enough to justify the ratings so he has my respect.

Shake It Up: I liked this show from the moment it came out. I don't know, I just did. I liked the feeling it gave me and those season one episodes have that charming innocence I gravitate to. I'm just glad the show ended before Davis Cleveland lost his cute kid charm because......he did. Watch the movie Rufus if you don't believe me. I was devastated. Also, the episode where we find out about Cece's dyslexia was......genuinely emotional. Bella Thorne had the performance of her life near the end. I say this now because I have no idea what she's good at these days. I liked her extra-pop songs in 2011/2012, I confess.

Liv and Maddie: I'm just going to avoid the first season and the current one because one of them is apparently garbage and the other one most likely has three years of stories invested in it so I'll stick to the middle. This is apparently the best, of the best.........of the best, of the best, of the best.......that Disney Channel has to offer. I'll be the judge of that.

Best Friends Whenever: Landry Bender grew up and turned out pretty cute. Who knew? Anyway, I don't know what to say about this show. I liked the Halloween episode, and the guest appearances by Riley and Lucas were pretty funny, but I feel like I'm going to be disappointed. I mean, there was one episode where I literally could not understand what Shelby and Cyd were talking about. What the hell is a slamrito? This is not Seinfeld, I shouldn't have to tune in at the beginning to know what's going on. Or at the very least, have to use a translator because apparently, teenagers talk like that now.

Dog with a Blog: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO. Hey, remember when Avery had that social media thing and she ended up getting stalked by a bicycle shop owner? Wait, wrong show.

Austin and Ally: I agree with Unknown. You either like the whole show or you don't. I personally liked the show, but you could take or leave a handful of episodes. Also, I liked the remix they did on the theme song in the last season. I didn't like Austin's stupid haircut though.

So Random: Without Demi Lovato, this show has no legs to stand on. Instead of getting season three of Sonny with a Chance, we were stuck with this. I know why things turned out the way they did, but still, it's disappointing. I don't know what to say about this show either. If I ever tackle a sketch comedy show here, it will be either Chappelle's Show or In Living Color. Also, this might be a nitpick, but why didn't this show have the same theme song it did when it was a part of SWAC?

JONAS/JONAS L.A.: Nobody ever talks about this show. The Jonas Brothers themselves want to forget this show ever happened, and honestly, if I were them, I might feel the same way. But I really liked the first season. It was goofy, it was fun, it was charming, it was easy to enjoy. Then they moved to Los Angeles and everything I liked about this show was destroyed. The music was good but it's the Jonas Brothers so I expected that. I don't know how I feel about Macy's character change. I know they address it, but it's like, they completely changed her character around. In season one, she had an actual personality. In season two, she has none. It's weird. The first season was great though. The second season can kick rocks, I don't mess with it.

That's So Raven: Arguably the best live-action show Disney Channel has ever put out. We can debate it, but this series has way too many classics. The Black History Month episode, the Pushover Patterson episode, the uniform/stinky cheese episode, the musical episode. Okay, maybe not way too many, but this was definitely a show worth watching again. By the way, that reboot they have planned will most likely be mediocre but hopefully, this blog will still be around on premiere night.

Cory in the House: I don't think there was a reason for this show to exist. Cory was never the best character and with a new location, he had to play off of people who he didn't gel with like on That's So Raven. That's what I hate about spin-offs. They take the funniest character and build a show around them without giving them comedic foils or straight men. That's what made them funny on the original show! I don't know. This show was probably just unsalvageable.

Phil of the Future: He's a 21st-century man! I remember bits and pieces of episodes but it's been a long time since I've seen anything so my memory is almost completely shot. I remember it being an entertaining show.

Even Stevens: Without this show, Disney Channel wouldn't have inspired an entire generation of smart-mouthed kids with their brilliant comedies. I think this show might just be a product of its time. I don't know what I'm saying, it's been a really long time since I've seen anything from this show. I definitely remember it being an innovator.

Kim Possible: This show was originally going to end after So the Drama (great movie by the way) but Disney Channel wanted more episodes so in came season four, which the writers actually put their work into. They could have easily let the show decline once it was revived but they took it seriously. "Grande Size Me" is one of the best episodes in the series. I have nothing bad to say about this show. Definitely one of the best ones the network ever put out.

The Proud Family: This show was originally pitched to Nickelodeon. Could you imagine what they would have done to it? This show was right where it needed to be. It was hilarious, had some nice lessons sprinkled in, and really treated the black community with respect instead of talking down to it. Next month, I might even review the Kwanzaa episode because, let's face it, it was a really entertaining episode. The movie was hyped up for weeks but ended up living up to the hype and was a great way to end the series. Seriously, what the hell happened to Disney Channel?

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: The Suite 613 episode. That's all I'm going to say about that. It's a classic. Anyway, I really don't know about this show. I think some of it doesn't hold up years later and some of it does. I liked it when it was out, but whether or not it was better than the spin-off is anyone's guess. I can't believe they got Chris Brown as a guest star. You know, before all that stuff happened.

Lizzie McGuire: Unknown's opinion is very refreshing. I recognize that this show was a pioneer and everything, but I was never crazy about it and I feel like it might be overrated. Was it a bad show? Of course not, but it was definitely a product of its time. The theme song is classic without a shadow of a doubt, even though I have no idea if that's a man or a woman singing it.

The Thundermans: To quote Birdman, "I said it already. I did it already."

School of Rock: I don't have an opinion on this show yet so give me time, but I just wanted to talk about the Daya episode for a bit. When the promos first came out, I literally had no idea who Daya was. I thought she won American Idol or something. Then I look her up and I see she was never on American Idol but she was on a Chainsmokers single. So she's just a rising singer and in the promos, it looks like she's this world famous pop star? What the hell? Just because someone famous appears on a show, doesn't mean you have to treat them like the second coming. Daya's not even that big a name yet for the audience to care about her like that. I bet kids were soiling themselves just to see what Daya would do on a sitcom where she probably only has three generic lines.

Come on, man, give me a break. These kids never heard "Don't Let Me Down," Daya is not a big name to them at all. That would be like if Cimorelli showed up on The Thundermans and everybody creamed their pants. It's not realistic because acts like Cimorelli are unknown to the general audience. Like I said, I didn't even know who Daya was before the promos so having Dewey treat her like Taylor Swift or, screw it, Beyonce is ridiculous and laughable.

Bella and the Bulldogs: From what I've seen, this is not a bad show at all. I really wish Nickelodeon would have given this more of a chance but the review will hopefully put everything in perspective.

Henry Danger: "I said it already. I did it already." - Birdman

Game Shakers: I'll get to you. You know what, while we're on the topic, the pilot was absolutely horrendous and a bad remake of the iCarly one.

Victorious: This probably deserves its own review, but let me just save time here: I loved the first season, liked the second season, wasn't crazy about the third season and hated the fourth season. I don't know what Nickelodeon was thinking when they cancelled it, but it was an inconsistent show anyway so maybe there was a good reason. This show was actually really good at taking odd ideas (April Fools, blooper episode) and doing them really well, in stark contrast to when iCarly did them. Speaking of which......

iCarly: One of the last good kids shows we had. It was more clever than it had any right to be and the early seasons hold up pretty well. The show went on longer than it should have and was on autopilot for an entire year before it ended, but there was something special about it that a lot of kids shows right now are lacking. It felt like the show everyone should be watching. New episodes felt like big events. Its roster of guest stars was really impressive for a kids show, ranging from Jim Parsons to Michelle Obama to Jimmy Fallon and The Roots. It even got mentioned by Family Guy. iCarly may very well be the last show of its kind.

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