Sunday, July 23, 2017

Criminal Minds Original Flavor Mini-Review: Zwuyza...what the fuck? I mean seriously guys if you're not going to be serious about the title how the fuck am I supposed to take the show seriously?

Fuck the opening quote. If you know anything about how this blog works, you know what that means.

What is it? Hour-long procedural crime drama, much like when we reviewed the spin-off (and now canceled!) show Beyond Borders here which was pretty much equal garbage (oops review spoiler alert).
Where did it air? See-BS.
Who stars in it? I really honestly don't give a fuck except it stars...that guy. You know which one I mean. The famous guy who gets top billing but I'm too lazy to look up. Also it has Michelle Trachtenberg as who turns out to be the crazed murderous stalker (oops spoiler alert) and my DVR is set to auto-record her.
Why are we reviewing this? Because it's kinda-sorta garbage 'n all.

Yeah, I get these shows are popular but why? Why are all the most popular things in society utter dumpster fires of garbage?

Bunk'd is renewed for a third season...and it won't even have Peyton List, it's main fuckin' star. One of the highest-rated shows for the past nearly two decades is fukkin' Survivor. Look who you goddamn put into the fuckin' White House.

Man, the theory that states that the longer societies go the more they degenerate certainly is fuckin' true.

Episode Grade: F-fucking-minus. My call, my score. The reason for this grade is because "I fucking feel like it."
Episode MVP: Fuck This Shit.

Extra Thoughts:

 - yeah this is coming ahead of Descendants Fucking 2. And Andi Fucking Mack for that matter.

 - Oh yeah I want to add: this is what utter garbage TV that's still popular for some reason looks like.


  1. that was a lot of fucks. Fuck. As usual, i have my link to my journal on Descendants 2 that it'll put on that review because duh

    1. My sobriety while writing this might've been questionable.

  2. Shipping Wars Are StupidAugust 3, 2017 at 8:55 PM

    You are way better than this and you know it.

    1. For this review? Eh, I guess. Does Criminal Minds *deserve* better? Fuck no.

      Look, I know there's something to be said for putting quality into *every* review I do, but honestly as it stands the readership and priority ranking don't really justify it. It was either do a super-crappy mini review, or none at all, because this really is where Criminal Minds maxes out in terms of what it deserves (or at least this particular episode).

    2. Shipping Wars Are StupidAugust 6, 2017 at 8:43 PM

      There are many problems I have with this Unknown:

      A) You didn't even put the proper name of the episode.
      B) You don't actually review it.
      C) Your review reads like an angsty 12-year-old wrote it.

      You say that's the reason why the show's still on is because the country's stupid, correlating to why Survivor is still popular. This is despite the fact that Survivor changed the game for all reality shows. Besides, Survivor is well-known for consistently changing the format to keep things interesting. I don't watch the show but these things are not hard to figure out.

      And then it seems you are trying to correlate that the people watch this show are the ones who voted for Trump. Come on, you know that's totally irrelevant.

      I actually still sporadically watch the show and this episode is actually part of an arc for Spencer, portrayed by Matthew Gray Gubler. When he was first introduced, Spencer started off as a one-dimensional, borderline autistic, nerd. But over the years, he's progressed significantly. We learn about his struggles with his mother and her battle with mental illness. We got to watch him open up and have actual human feelings for his team.

      Over this particular season, which is from 2012-2013, we find out that Spencer has been communicating over the phone with a geneticist-who actually helped them solve a case. Now, the Spencer we've spent years watch grow and mature is so close to happiness, only to have it snatched away from him.

      If you don't want to put in time for a review, even if you think it's a shitty episode not worth watching, then what's the point? Treat the three of us, or however many it is who have stuck around, like adults. I actually think it's rather insulting to us otherwise.

      If I want to read someone shit on something for the sake of shitting on it, I'd go to FullHouseReviewed.


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