What is it? A 40-minute goddamned trailer with friggin' commercial breaks. That's what it is.
Where did it air? See-Fuckin'-BS, that's where
Who stars in it? Michelle Yeoh, that one insanely hot actress from TWD, a bunch of who cares. Rainn Wilson was supposed to be in it. Someone point out to me where the fuck Rainn Wilson was.
Why are we reviewing this? Because Star Trek, whatever.
Yeah, like I said, this isn't a "pilot" episode, this is an extended trailer, so extended in fact it has fucking commercial breaks. If you want to see the real pilot episode you literally have to buy past CBS All Access' freakin' paywall.
As I understand it Star Trek: Discovery is CBS All Access' only original content, so it's not worth paying a monthly subscription for one goddamn freakin' show.
Screw this shit.
Episode Grade: A big fat solid F. There was about 20 minutes or so of redundant dialogue that just kept telling us the same thing over and over again, and basically stalling for time so they can fill up the episode before they force you to hit that paywall, and I swear another 20 minutes of commercials. At least fundamentally speaking, The pilot of Riverdale was better than this. Quality-wise, it's...slightly better enough to not get Riverdale's minus grade.
Episode MVP: Sonequa Martin-Green and no not just because she's really hot in this but because she's the only actual person in here who actually has opportunities to act in what has to be setting a record as the World's Longest Trailer.
Extra Thoughts:
- why friggin' bother?
This sums up every problem with network pushing their apps over the actual network.
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