Well it's pretty much what it says so, uh, let's get to it:
A++: Somebody pretty much plucked a show idea out of my head and made it exactly the way I would, and further into perfection.
Examples scored: none so far, and honestly I'm wondering just what would end up getting this grade. Linda and Heather-a-Rooney was the closest this actually got to literally happening as per the description, but it'd have to applicable to an entire series in order to be truly A++ worthy (obviously movies, mini-series or specials are excepted).
A+: Virtually perfect. Maybe some flaws, maybe even a bad episode or three, but it's very clear this is the cream of the crop when it comes to the network, if not just television period.
Examples scored: Gravity Falls, DuckTales (interestingly enough, both of these are DXD animation - go figure)
A: Something getting this grade is good enough to set a great mood for the rest of the day or turn around a bad one (to give you an idea what kind of bar we're setting here)
Examples scored: A few Andi Mack episodes at least; I'm pretty sure this was the highest grade I ever bothered to give Girl Meets World (Girl Meets She Don't Like Me - yes, really), the absolute best DCOMs/NOMs might be able to make it here (Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension), Game of Thrones (yes really)
A-: Still potentially good enough to be the highlight of your entire workday (unless you, like, skydive for work). Maybe still clearly flawed in some way - maybe it's still tied down by the conventions and tropes of its genre or format, or maybe it's the best episode of a mediocre or even lousy series, or maybe it's just outshined by other episodes, but it's still a must-watch
Examples scored: most of the Andi Mack episodes we bothered to review so far, a handful of typical Disney Channel faire (Girl Meets World, Jessie, Liv and Maddie, you get the idea), truly exceptional DCOMs/NOMs (Teen Beach Movie, Lemonade Mouth, Splitting Adam)
B+: The veneer might be a bit transparent on this one - maybe there's just something about it that prevents it from juuuust being taken that seriously. But still, not only is it solidly entertaining but you come out of it feeling like you actually gained something from watching it.
Examples scored: Ice Princess, D.E.B.S., most decent-good Disney Channel/Nickelodeon stuff will likely end up here (again, GMW, Jessie, LaM, the Nickelodeon imports/imports-in-spirit like the Every Witch Way/I Am Frankie canon, so on), most good or even great DCOMs (How to Build a Better Boy, Geek Charming, Jinx)
B: It's still very good, and you still watch it feeling like you took something away from it that's greater than just sheer entertainment value but...not as much. Maybe it was a great episode for a particular character (maybe even the character the episode actually focuses on!) but...that's pretty much it.
Examples scored: Most of say Liv and Maddie and good Jessie up to the end of Season 2 will likely fit in here, higher-quality DCOMs/NOMs (the first High School Musical)
B-: It's entertaining, but that's it. Probably not a lot to takeaway other than it just being exceptionally entertaining.
Examples scored: Jessie through late Season 2, lots of Liv and Maddie in here too, good Bizaardvark and Stuck in the Middle, good Disney/Nick shows in general, lots of DCOMs/NOMs (the last High School Musical)
Note: Chances are I'll probably score "so bad it's good" stuff in here. I don't give scores objectively, I grade from the gut, so to speak. Such examples would include...well, just off the top of my head, my favorite of The Adventures of Henry Danger so far.
C+: At this point you're probably just going to find a good way to spend a half-hour/hour/feature-length time period decently entertained. Basically, it's all filler. Velveeta cheese dip, if you will.
Examples scored: most Bizaardvark, most Stuck in the Middle, Bunk'd topped out here (exactly once), EuroTrip, your average network show that I bother to watch, good Henry Danger and Thundermans at this point. And...yes, I'd score most of iCarly here.
C: It's...average. It's decent enough to watch.This is probably the threshold for something you'd bother to tune into on a regular basis.
Examples scored: A lot of network television I bother to watch, Raven's Home really tops out here, most of Thundermans as of this point, The Adventures of Henry Danger (provided that's even still around)
C-: Ok, now we're starting to scrape the barrel. You tell yourself you'll try to watch every premiere but...you don't beat yourself up if you miss a week or seven. Even if you do regularly watch it, it might just be as background filler or paired with another activity like Twitter surfing or...writing this blog. AV Club calls it the Gentleman's F but...I think we need to go lower still for that to really hold true.
Examples scored: For me, a lot of GMW (#SorryNotSorry), a lot of Raven's Home, pretty much most of Nickelodeon period at this point.
D+: For me, the true Gentleman's F. There's reason to watch but...not really. Maybe worth watching just to satisfy a curiosity. Really, you're not giving it a lower grade due to some gut-feeling obligation. Maybe it only took you just past the halfway point of the way into the episode to predict how it ends.
Examples scored: A "high-quality" episode of Bunk'd, Game Shakers or School of Rock.
D: For a regular series, this is something that you gave a try to...and gave up after a few episodes. For a movie or special, it'd be something you'd seen once and...decided that's all you need in your life. You pretty much predicted all the plot points a third of the way in.
Examples scored: Bunk'd, Game Shakers and School of Rock as a whole, One Crazy Cruise
D-: For a series, you maybe gave it one or two episodes before just giving up, or maybe even consistently bad word-of-mouth is killing it. For a movie or special, maybe you gave up on it even as you were nearing the end. At this point, it's not even a viable alternative to checking your Twitter feed.
Examples scored: I don't know if I gave Invisible Sister this grade, but that's a good example all the same. Marvin Marvin (remember that one, kiddies?), Blogspot/Blogger itself.
F: You pretty much get this already, folks. It's just awful. Not truly worth watching. You feel like you've seen the entire episode just a few minutes after the front credits.
Examples scored: The new MacGyver pilot, the Minority Report pilot
F-: Yes that's right we go a step beyond when it comes to grading awfulness. Now you're just being vindictive and spiteful when awarding grades. You hate it that much. Not only does it meet the criteria for at least a D+ grade but you found something personally offensive about it. You're literally demanding your time back. The only way you even bothered to finish this, if at all, is because it was on your DVR and you abused the Fast Forward button.You can correctly guess every finite plot point and plot twist from watching the previews.
Examples scored: Crowded
F--: This one really must've done something wrong. You feel like it's a personal attack on you, and you need to respond back to the creators in kind. It felt like literal torture to watch. The only reason you finished it is for review purposes - and even there you lied because again you heavily abused the fast forward button. You feel like it's actively promoting extremely disgusting and distasteful attitudes without anything else to redeem it. It's just not funny, or entertaining, or anything. It's quite simply, offensive garbage.
Examples scored: The pilot of Riverdale (hey, it started out really, really bad, folks), Undateable's The Backstreet Boys Walk Into A Bar, The Mysteries of Laura's The Mystery of Whatever Episode I reviewed. Xfinity and DirecTV as actual services.
Extra Thoughts:
- it turns out Mike wrote a really good review of Sam & Cat but...I'm still trying to overcome technical issues in posting it. Yay, Blogspot!
No comments:
Post a Comment