I tried doing this on my phone since I was too lazy (and drunk) to try to get my laptop, but it's friggin' impossible to actually do a Blogger post on your phone. FUCK YOU BLOGGER!
But anyway...ugh, I feel like now that the drunkeness has worn off so had a lot of what I wanted to say today. But I'll try anyway.
I guess...I mean...to address what I had been addressing lately.
I mean...with absolutely all apologies to Marlowe Percival but...it's really, really triggering to see such a beautiful woman just casually toss away all that beauty that God/nature/whatever gave her. But I mean, like, at the same time...it did kind of make me realize that if I really wanted all that why not just take that cast-away beauty and claim it for myself?
Ok, that sounds wrong.
Ok so maybe I'm still drunk.
I don't know. Maybe I said it about as eloquently as I can the last few times.
But I can't get over how...I'm sorry it really is just such a shock to me that such a beautiful woman can be...not a woman anymore. I mean, I've been so obsessed with all this beauty and femininity that's been assigned to women, and I really do think that's a major contributor (or other way around?) with my own transgender issues. As a male in my current body I really, really don't feel worthy of all that. I don't know what do you think?
This is...probably going to take a while and a lot of repetition to express properly.
I've just been kind of going around the past few days in kind of a daze and well, I think a distraction is really worthy and necessary here.
So I bought $50 worth of Nerf blasters!
Yeah I managed to do it after all!
I got TWO Mavericks, a Retaliator, a Rampage, and a bunch of other stuff! But I feel the real prizes of my haul are TWO Rotofuries, a Barricade, and a MOTHERFUCKING HYPERFIRE!
So, here we go...
*drumroll*
...it's Ray.
Yup, the name I already have. Except instead of being short for Raymond, the -mond part won't exist anymore. Ray will all there will be.
Hey if we can have girls named Teddy and Ryan I can't see why we can't have a girl named Ray.
But anyway...ugh, I feel like now that the drunkeness has worn off so had a lot of what I wanted to say today. But I'll try anyway.
I guess...I mean...to address what I had been addressing lately.
I mean...with absolutely all apologies to Marlowe Percival but...it's really, really triggering to see such a beautiful woman just casually toss away all that beauty that God/nature/whatever gave her. But I mean, like, at the same time...it did kind of make me realize that if I really wanted all that why not just take that cast-away beauty and claim it for myself?
Ok, that sounds wrong.
Ok so maybe I'm still drunk.
I don't know. Maybe I said it about as eloquently as I can the last few times.
But I can't get over how...I'm sorry it really is just such a shock to me that such a beautiful woman can be...not a woman anymore. I mean, I've been so obsessed with all this beauty and femininity that's been assigned to women, and I really do think that's a major contributor (or other way around?) with my own transgender issues. As a male in my current body I really, really don't feel worthy of all that. I don't know what do you think?
This is...probably going to take a while and a lot of repetition to express properly.
I've just been kind of going around the past few days in kind of a daze and well, I think a distraction is really worthy and necessary here.
So I bought $50 worth of Nerf blasters!
Yeah I managed to do it after all!
I got TWO Mavericks, a Retaliator, a Rampage, and a bunch of other stuff! But I feel the real prizes of my haul are TWO Rotofuries, a Barricade, and a MOTHERFUCKING HYPERFIRE!
...and I have to admit...all this stuff actually does kinda make me happy!
I don't know what it is but it's just that...the Nerf stuff really appeals to my STEM side. The whole modding and even DIY/Maker blaster community is just awesome.
That's all I can really think of right now.
OH, and I've decided what my trans name will be! I've put a lot of thought into this, literally years - really, this isn't just some fly-by-night thing, and this is something I've legitimately struggled with. But then in a sudden flash of brilliance my trans name finally came to me, and at this point I absolutely possibly couldn't be any happier about it (unless like someone just dropped a Nerf Infinus into my lap.
Or a FormLabs Form2 SLA 3D printer with lots and lots of high-quality PETG filament.
Or a 1973 Camaro SS.
Or a really, really hot girlfriend).
*drumroll*
...it's Ray.
Yup, the name I already have. Except instead of being short for Raymond, the -mond part won't exist anymore. Ray will all there will be.
Hey if we can have girls named Teddy and Ryan I can't see why we can't have a girl named Ray.
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